It's a start

What I was, what I am and what I'm gonna be. These are the phases of our life. There are times when I enjoy remembering the days of my youth. That was a time of what I was. I was then a product of my raising, a time of just fitting the mold..Or, more correctly, attempting to fit the mold. I wanted to please my Dad and be just like him. A role model for sure. Then graduating high school and joining the Navy I set out in the world on my terms. I have to admit my terms were a whole lot more relaxed than those earlier years. They were also the years when I figured I knew it all, I was a man ! Yeah, alright. There were some very painful lessons learned during that time. Do I have regrets ? No I don't have regrets but I wouldn't mind a do over. Made a few bad choices and questionable decisions. That has pretty much continued, although I'm hoping less frequently. It has brought me to what I am. I'm full of questions now ? Now I'm trying to figure out what I want to be. At sixty one you might think I have waited a little while and you would be correct. I never was one to just rush into anything. The final product is what is important. That is so because it is, well, final. The thing is I will never know what I am gonna be. By the time I get there, it will be over. So the reality is I need to be concerned with today. Concerned with what I am. That comes with baggage. There does come a point where you need to lighten the load. I have reached that point. I am doing that by reviewing and evaluating. If it is worth keeping, do so, if not,let it go. Sounds like a simple process but it is surprisingly difficult. Why we tend to hang onto things that no longer fit, or are uncomfortable, is a bit of a mystery, but we all do. We do it with material things and we do it with the immaterial. Holding onto past mistakes and believing that one day they will be right, how foolish is that ? We need to just let it go.
The new year looms before us. It is a time we all reflect upon. We think about what has happened in the past year and make plans for the new. It is a renewal. Truth is everyday should be viewed in that way. A continual process of evaluation. I can no longer be what I was because today I am. I can shape what I want to be. I can not tell what I will become. Only time can answer that question. The final judgement lies with those I leave behind, at least in this world. My real concern should always be with the next. I can only influence the future, not the past. I think you shouldn't get too comfortable. I think you should always be a little bit anxious. A small amount of uncertainty is good for the soul. Always seek more knowledge and listen to others. A new years' resolution ? Listen more and talk less. It is a start.