Friends

I didn't post a blog this morning due to circumstances beyond my control. If there is one thing I have learned is that we have little control over anything. Someone said if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans. I think that is just about right.
I would say I have moved a little closer to God over the last year and for that I am grateful. I credit that to my facebook friends that have helped me throughout the year. Often times we help each other without being aware. That is as it should be. That is because it comes to us unencumbered. A wonderful thing.
I did not want the year to end without a small posting. I did not want the year to end in silence. I began the year by posting Good Morning and continue that. It is my intention to do that in 2015 as well. I am working toward a more " social " social network. I enjoy reading your posts about the things that amuse or interest you. I love seeing the " pictures " of your life. Those are moments that we all like to share and I look forward to them.
May the new year bring you all blessings and happiness. Remember there are people out here that do care. I treasure you all very much and appreciate you support. Happy New Year and God Bless you all !

Just another day

Yesterday I wrote about " taking down Christmas. " I mentioned how that has been happening for me on New Years day, the last few years. Well, I went off to work and to my surprise when I got home, Christmas was gone ! My wife, assisted by my granddaughter, had packed it all away. All but the christmas cards that is, which are still taped in the doorway, the last vestiges of the holiday. I still haven't decided their fate, trash or attic ? I'll decide that on new years day.
Now with the removal of Christmas and the gift of a new flat screen television, the living room needed rearranging. That has been accomplished and I'm liking the new setting. A change is good at times and seems fitting to begin a new year. If fedex is to believed my new television stand will arrive tomorrow. Starting the year out fresh ! I even finished up the trim in my bath so that project is complete. I'm on a roll.
My wife's sister is coming for a visit and should arrive today. Joan plans on staying through Sunday. We will bring in the new year together. I'm looking forward to it. The big " party " days are long behind all of us folks but we can share memories of those days gone by. Isn't it strange how you enjoyed those party's. then quit that nonsense but still enjoy the memory ? Shoot I've even been known to brag about my party prowess ! Was a day when you measured a persons' mettle by the amount of drink they could consume. Ah, the foolishness of youth ! Now it will be measured by who is still awake. If you think about it, sorta the same thing. The big difference being, I'll remember it.
Having a visitor, even a family member, can be upsetting. My routine will be changed. I'll adjust however. I'm not sure about my blog writing. I will have to try to write in the afternoon or early evening. By then my brain begins to get clogged up. I mean, by then others will have infected it ! In the early morning I feel like my mind is fairly clear but I'll let you be the judge. I'll look at it as an experiment.
There are those that plan big vacations or exciting adventures. Some make great plans for the new year and set goals. This year I'm hoping for new furniture. Funny thing for me to want and one I never thought I would, but there it is. I want two loveseats and a matching chair, preferably in leather. Leather is durable and doesn't soil easily. OMG is this what getting old is all about ? Nah, I'll call it wisdom. Or maybe this is the year to get in touch with my " nesting " side. I am considering new curtains after all. Well, who knows what the new year will bring.
Yesterday,after a long journey, a gift arrived at my door. It is a handmade ornament, a sheep. It is complete with collar and bell and a tag that says, " The Lord is my Shepherd. " How true and how appropriate. That little sheep was mailed from South Carolina and arrived in Greensboro, Md. It was addressed to my post office box. Unfortunately I no longer have that post office box and my mail is delivered to a box in front of my house. Now I understand that mailbox is almost a full block away from the post office, and I have only lived here twenty some years, so returning it to South Carolina only makes sense. Guess the lady at the post office doesn't know me well enough yet, I'll give it a few more years. So, the sheep went back to South Carolina and was subsequently mailed back. Success and that sheep has a new home. Maybe it was fate that had it arrived when it did. Christmas having been packed away, early if you recall, it is sitting on a shelf now. It will remain there. on display the whole year. Fate has perhaps saved it from exile into the attic. Also,given the fact that I just lost my brother, the Bible verse The Lord is my Shepard is particularly appropriate at this time. And some people think things just happen randomly. I don't think so.

Wrappings and trappings

When do you take down Christmas ? In the last few years it has been on New Years day. That wasn't always the case as in the past I may not have been feeling too " chipper ". Thankfully those days are behind me. I have already removed the outdoor decorations. I took advantage of an unusual warm spell to accomplish that. Not that I have much that I put out there this year. I have been downsizing.
I woke up, put on the coffee and sat down at my computer. The christmas tree is to my right and I chose not to plug it in this morning. That is when I noticed it. The tree now has a brownish tint and looks a little droopy. It doesn't look near as cheery as a few days ago. The needles are still clinging to the branches, but barely. I'm thinking it is time for it to go.
Just past that little tree, arranged on an end table, in my Nativity set. A few years back Mark and I built a stable. The table is covered with straw and the scene had been set. All the porcelain figures were carefully placed. A homemade star shines above it. Yesterday We had a young visitor, Oliver. Oliver is just past a year old and curious about everything. He saw the Nativity scene and investigated. He moved the figurines about a bit and then set them down. Now they look like they are leaving ! Maybe that is a sign to pack it away until next year.
I have various decorations about the house. They have been there long enough now that they go unnoticed. Oh how quickly we assimilate things into our everyday living. I will have to take a good look around when packing away those decorations, it is easy to miss a few. The Christmas cards I received in the mail will be taken down and discarded. I always feel a little sad doing that, but can not think of a reason to save them either. You would think with all my pictures and interest in genealogy that I would be the one saving this stuff, but I don't. Maybe I should ? Something to consider.
Well the holiday season is coming to a close. Valentines is next up. No grandchildren in elementary school this year, so no cards. I may or may not put up a window cling of cupid.Valentines isn't much of a celebration. A box of chocolates and a flower or two ! I love you too, and let's move on. It is just a hallmark holiday anyway. Then the Easter bunny makes his appearance. That part of the holiday has gone by the wayside as well. The kids are a little old for that  but still enjoy the candy ! Easter remains more about the religious and that is a good thing !
This past year has had its' up and downs like all others. It seems like it had more downs near the end. To tell you the truth I am a little anxious to take down Christmas this year. I'm ready to get on with a new year. I hope that is only a temporary feeling related to the events of this past year. I wouldn't want to turn into some old scrooge. I do believe, all things in moderation, even celebrations. It begins to be not so special if carried too far.
The bottom line here is, the gift has been offered. It is now up to us to accept that gift. It could not have been presented in a more humble fashion. We have turned it into a spectacle ! The original intent was to celebrate this amazing gift and I believe that intent exists today. Let us not forget that and get caught up in the trappings. It would be easy to just get " wrapped " up in the whole celebration thing and forget the true meaning. We must remember to unwrap that gift and admire it. The most important part of the gift is in the giving. Those receiving must be accepting. Do not get caught up in the wrappings and trappings ! Celebrate rather the gift itself.
   

Respect ( a bit of a tirade )

I brushed against this subject yesterday while talking with a friend. Talking over recent events in the national news and speculating on their causes. Most notably that movie, The Interview. Some may view it as a comedy but I saw it as a insult. In my opinion it just shows a total lack of respect for another man and another nation. Since when is showing an assassination attempt funny ? Now, it may be so with fictional characters and a fictional nation but that is not. We agreed that it was a matter of respect. A word you hear used often these days. Over used in my opinion and used incorrectly.If I disagree with your point of view that doesn't necessarily constitute disrespect.
I became further irritated with this whole movie business when others tried to tell me it was practically my patriotic duty to go see it ! They began to talk about the Constitution and freedom of speech. References to God given rights being trampled ! No other group or nation should prevent me from seeing this movie ! No, I would rather die fighting for the release of this movie. How ridiculous can it get ? I suppose when a foreign owned company, like Sony International, invests forty million dollars in the making of a film and then spends millions more in promotion they find a way to cover up the truth. And the truth of the matter is simple, the movie is disrespectful, irrelevant and crass. Can you really blame the country of North Korea for a cyber attack ? Shoot, the Japanese should be used to sneak attacks ! But that is another topic entirely. Seems they don't like it much when it happens to them. But I digress. I was speaking of respect. Those last few sentences of mine were not very respectful and I apologize for that.
The subject of respect is what I brushed against yesterday. Now respect begins at home, I believe that. Children should be taught respect and its' meaning. Somehow the meaning of respect has been altered to imply a weakness, a subjugation almost. In reality respect is a strength. Respect tempers our actions. It is the basis for our temperament. Respectful people do not act or speak based solely on the premise that they can ! No, respectful people consider the feelings of others before doing so. Obviously that was not a consideration when that film script was written,reviewed and made into a film. Why ? Is it because the author does not agree with the political philosophy of North Korea ?  Or was it just that all those involved thought, that's pretty funny stuff ! Let's make a movie based on a assasination. Well, because assassinating people is always so funny.
The underlying question for me is how did this happen, this lack of teaching respect. How has it become so misunderstood ? Let us begin at home. How are children being raised today ? I would submit quite a bit different than the way you and I were. That is not to say that some things of the past didn't require changing but not everything. Consider a thing as simple as our parents interaction with other adults.If you think about it you would see that our parents dealt a bit more respectfully with each other. That was back when a gentleman held the door for a lady and removed his hat while indoors. They addressed each other as Mr or sir and Ma'am. Children were also taught those lessons. We heard, mind your manners ! What that really meant was, show the proper respect. For me, I think it began to erode with parents allowing their children to address them by their name. I mean who calls their mother, Ruth for Gods' sake ?
If we do not teach our children to respect the feelings and opinions of others at home, can we expect them to do so in the general public ? And we need to teach them standing up for yourself does not involve trampling on others ! Strength comes from character. Character must be developed over time. More importantly I think we need to teach our children that having the right to do something is not always a license to do that thing ! Consideration for others is not a weakness.
But perhaps it all began a few generations back. Perhaps it began when families started separating. Perhaps in our haste to provide " better " for the next generation something was overlooked. When families stayed " on the farm " and were taught those values. Now we tend to teach our children to be " independent " and prepare them to move out. We teach that it is a tough world out there and you need to be tough to survive. Perhaps that is why the popularity of such shows as Big Brother and Survivor. The object being to win, at all costs. Respect plays no role in that scenario. And the only way to win is to gain material possessions. Those with the most money,power and influence being the standard. The quiet,respectful man will get trampled. Doesn't make it right though.
You could say that War is the ultimate display of disrespect. Violence always is. Patriotism, when viewed in that regard can be a catalyst. That is what Sony pictures is trying to do in this situation. They are trying to convince me that the making of that movie is some kind of God given right. Yes, they have the ability to make such a film here in the United States of America but does that mean they should ? I wonder how the Japanese government would have responded if the movie was about dropping another Atomic bomb ? Would that have been hilarious ? I don't think Sony entertainment would have thought so. Of course when it comes to making a few bucks, all bets are off.

It's a start

What I was, what I am and what I'm gonna be. These are the phases of our life. There are times when I enjoy remembering the days of my youth. That was a time of what I was. I was then a product of my raising, a time of just fitting the mold..Or, more correctly, attempting to fit the mold. I wanted to please my Dad and be just like him. A role model for sure. Then graduating high school and joining the Navy I set out in the world on my terms. I have to admit my terms were a whole lot more relaxed than those earlier years. They were also the years when I figured I knew it all, I was a man ! Yeah, alright. There were some very painful lessons learned during that time. Do I have regrets ? No I don't have regrets but I wouldn't mind a do over. Made a few bad choices and questionable decisions. That has pretty much continued, although I'm hoping less frequently. It has brought me to what I am. I'm full of questions now ? Now I'm trying to figure out what I want to be. At sixty one you might think I have waited a little while and you would be correct. I never was one to just rush into anything. The final product is what is important. That is so because it is, well, final. The thing is I will never know what I am gonna be. By the time I get there, it will be over. So the reality is I need to be concerned with today. Concerned with what I am. That comes with baggage. There does come a point where you need to lighten the load. I have reached that point. I am doing that by reviewing and evaluating. If it is worth keeping, do so, if not,let it go. Sounds like a simple process but it is surprisingly difficult. Why we tend to hang onto things that no longer fit, or are uncomfortable, is a bit of a mystery, but we all do. We do it with material things and we do it with the immaterial. Holding onto past mistakes and believing that one day they will be right, how foolish is that ? We need to just let it go.
The new year looms before us. It is a time we all reflect upon. We think about what has happened in the past year and make plans for the new. It is a renewal. Truth is everyday should be viewed in that way. A continual process of evaluation. I can no longer be what I was because today I am. I can shape what I want to be. I can not tell what I will become. Only time can answer that question. The final judgement lies with those I leave behind, at least in this world. My real concern should always be with the next. I can only influence the future, not the past. I think you shouldn't get too comfortable. I think you should always be a little bit anxious. A small amount of uncertainty is good for the soul. Always seek more knowledge and listen to others. A new years' resolution ? Listen more and talk less. It is a start. 

Looking forward

I woke up to the radio and no Christmas songs. It's over for another year. It is a bit unfortunate that Christmas songs are the only acceptable religious themed music for the general public. I mean, sure there are Christian radio stations and the like but other than that you just don't hear many religious based tunes on the radio. Yeah, I know, we had Jesus take the wheel, but that is an exception. And then we wonder why Christmas has become such a commercial event.
This week will be the year in review shows. I do enjoy them. It is always amazing to see what has taken place that I forgot about. Strange how that happens. Just goes to show how quickly we adapt and move on. I read a interesting little fact just the other day. In was on Christmas day in 1990 that the internet, as we now know it, premiered. I know 1990 was twenty four years ago but when you are sixty one that doesn't seem that long ago. It was the year my father passed. He never knew anything about an internet. This year I will remember as the year my brother passed. It is an event I will not forget. Those year in review shows will remind me of the other events this year.
In years past I would have been anticipating New Years Eve. Now, it is just a date on the calendar. If I try really hard and am lucky I may stay awake long enough to see the ball drop. I have moved passed the party scene. I have nothing against those that wish to imbibe, that is their prerogative, it is just I have a hard enough time remembering things as it is. And another thing is, nothing is more annoying to me that being with those that are under the influence when I am not. Now there was a day when I would join right in and find the whole thing hilarious. Somehow things aren't quite as funny when you are sober ! Funny what a lack of oxygen does to the brain.
I did receive a 42 inch flat screen television as a gift ! Wow, what a surprise that was. So this Christmas I went from a tube television to a flat screen. I moved into the 21st century ! I'm thinking in 2015 I will have to become more contemporary in my home furnishings. I will begin with a new television stand. I mentioned mounting it to the wall to my wife, she says, it would look like we were in a bar !  I had to agree and then thought it would also remind me of a hospital room. A stand does sound much nicer when you give it some thought. I'm not sure if she would go with the theater seating idea either. Maybe a sound bar ? I hear they are all the rage. Well at least a popcorn popper would make a good addition.
I look forward to 2015 with hope. A new year always offers new opportunities. It is all there for the taking. On New Years eve I will be watching. I may try to stay awake all the way to the next year. On the other hand 2015 is going to be a great year. I can feel it. I'm going to need a good night's sleep. Now about that tv stand. I seem to remember them having wheels, wonder if they still make those kind ?

                                         

Might need one a little larger ! But that looks contemporary.

A bugle and a bicycle

It's Christmas morning in Greensboro. The sugarplums are done dancing in my head and I am up and about. The coffee has been brewed, automatic drip because my percolator didn't arrive on time, the news is on and more waiting begins. Grandma and I have to wait for the grandchildren to get up and have their Christmas morning with mom and dad. We will arrive for wave two of gift giving. That is the way it has been going down for a number of years , the new normal. I admit I rather miss the excitement of those kids waking us up on Christmas morning. Well, the truth of it is, we were always awake long before they were, but I will not let fact spoil the story. Ah but for the days of yore. So much excitement and anticipation.
It is unusually warm here and a gentle rain is falling. It certainly doesn't have the feel of Christmas. I'm no big fan of cold and snow, but it does seem appropriate for at least a few hours on Christmas morning. The rain will put a damper on the outdoor activity. Morgan will be getting a bicycle and Mark a piece of soccer apparatus. They will want to use them. Well, there will plenty of other items to amuse them this day.
I believe this will the last year for a bicycle as a Christmas gift. The kids are getting too old for that. It is another marker in time that we are passing. Mark wanted a trumpet for Christmas but I got him a bugle instead. We will wait and see how he does with that. Should he stay interested a trumpet will be forthcoming. Gone are the days of buying a bunch of toy sets. I miss those days. When you could shop at the dollar store and buy tons of toys and the kids thought they got the whole sleigh load ! It was an overload of presents and the excitement in their faces was priceless. Now the price is unbelievable. It is another marker however,the kids are growing up and their expectations have adjusted proportionally. A measure of maturity.
Yes I think a bugle and a bicycle will mark the end of Santa Claus and that whole scenario. The kids have entered adolescence. Mark has a girlfriend now and Morgan  is becoming concerned with fashion. They are storing their childhood memories and building new. I hope that God sees fit to allow me to see great grandchildren. I would like to see that excitement of Santa and Christmas morning at least one more time. That is the nostalgia that is Christmas. Remember when you were that excited ?
Merry Christmas to all. Happy Birthday Jesus. It is exciting news and an exciting day.

Waiting for Christmas

Christmas eve. A day and night of anticipation. We may not all be waiting for the same thing, but most of us are waiting. Some are waiting for the excitement of tomorrow and some for the relief that it has arrived. In my youth I always attended the Christmas Eve candlelight service. After joining the Navy and moving away from home I no longer went. There are reasons and excuses galore for that and it is not necessary to try to explain. With the nostalgia that comes with Christmas I will always remember those services, those services took place at home. Home is the center of the holiday isn't it ? Why was Joseph in Bethlehem for the birth ? It was his home. ?
"I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams" speaks to us all. We all go "home" for Christmas.
I have a tradition I learned at home. Some of you have read about this in past blogs. It is a tradition of listening to the Christmas tree. I do that every year. It is not necessarily done on Christmas eve but rather when the time presents itself. I have to be receptive to it. It is not a time for me to speak but a time to listen. The Christmas tree has spoken to me of many things, things of the past. The tree always does that, it evokes those memories of the past and points out the lessons I should have learned. It is a sort of year in review type thing, only it reveiws my life. Within the branches of that tree memory lives. There are also things in those branches that need to be shaken out. That can be an uncomfortable thing, but I feel a necessary one. It is not a healthy thing to hide your mistakes in the past. They should be exposed to the light and what better time than Christmas ? There is certainly light ! It is also the time of birth and rebirth. That is the message of Jesus. He was born so that we might all be born again. If we shake out those mistakes of the past, expose them to the light and learn from them, we can redeem ourselves. That is the promise of Christmas. That is what the real anticipation should be about. A chance to begin again, to get it right. To be reborn.
I have learned to be grateful for each year. Each year is a gift in itself. That I was given another year in which to " get it right " is a precious gift indeed. We often think of years as good and bad. That is only as compared to our expectations. That is where we go astray. We should be more concerned with the needs of others and how their years have gone. Our lives should be an ongoing gift to others, the gift of compassion and understanding. Does it not say, " it is more blessed to give than to receive ? " And so I will listen to my Christmas tree. My wish is that it tells me I have done well this year. Hopefully not too much needs to be shaken out. I'm a little anxious about it. Anticipation and expectation. One predicts an event and the other your vision of the event. Disappointment comes with expectation and happiness with anticipation. I can't wait for Christmas ! 

It'll be alright

With everything going on at this time of year one can get stressed. There is the pressure of wrapping those gifts and making sure everything is just right. Really it is not that bad if you prioritize things. That's what I try to do. Truth is, I'm not one to get stressed much in the first place. The pressure of a deadline has never been much of a motivator for me. Those that are familiar with me and my ways know I am likely to say, " it'll be alright. " I do say that a lot. I have found that in most cases, it is !
There are some projects that I have started that remain unfinished. I really enjoy being able to say, I'll finish that up next year. Seems like I have a longer time that way. I always have liked corny jokes and puns. With 2015 staring directly at me I can only smile about that. 2015 somehow doesn't seem real. Why does it sound so much different than 2014 ? It almost like the difference between 99 cents and one dollar. One dollar sounds like a great deal more. Well, time marches on, seems more like it is running though.
If you are one of those that follow by blog postings you know that my brother passed away. Sadness fills my heart and it is especially poignant given the season. I am reminded of the reason we celebrate. I believe my brother will be at the party. I think there must be a party in heaven. Joe Cocker will be there as well, that was in the morning news. I'm not certain my brother was a fan of his. I am aware that since my own birth this will be the first year my brother is not on this earth. We didn't always get to share the holiday together, but we usually spoke on the phone. Not this year. He will be with me in spirit.
We will all be celebrating a birth. Let us not forget that. That should be the priority. Celebrate and be grateful for the gift that is Jesus. It'll be alright, That was a promise given to man on Christmas day and one that will be fulfilled. We need only remain strong in our faith. No need to stress out. 

Traditionally speaking

Traditions. Traditions are our connections to the past. That is why they matter. That is why they should be preserved. That is why they should be observed.
There is much discussion in this country regarding Christmas and the celebrating of the season. There are those that wish all references removed from the public discussion. The separation of church and state. It is true that there are provisions made just for that in our constitution. I will not argue with the legality of that, but there is a rich tradition in this country, a tradition of Christianity ! And now there are those that would dispel that tradition on the grounds of freedom.
It is a fact that the United States of America has no state sponsored religion. That was written into our constitution. It was written there by whom ? Christians. That's who wrote that in there and that is who voted to approve it ! Many so called " scholars " will debate that statement claiming Jefferson and others where dietists. Blah,blah, blah. Still the fact remains the majority of the assembly had to approve it. No, Jefferson didn't just write the constitution and everyone else said, " that's cool " let's go with that. It was hotly debated and in the end agreed upon. I dare say, prayers for guidance were offered, yes, Christian prayers. There are many references to God throughout our government. In God we Trust, does that sound familiar ? When the President of the United States takes his oath of Office what book does he place his hand upon ? When you are sworn ( or affirmed ) to tell the truth in court what book do you swear upon ? You can see where this is going can't you ? So, I feel confident in saying, Christianity has a very rich tradition in America. I would go further to say that Christianity is supported by the majority.
Since the founding of our great nation have we not raised our children, for the most part, in the Christian tradition ? Are they not the values we teach ? I don't think that requires much explanation. It is easily seen that that is our tradition. It is a tradition, I dare say, that has served us all very well. Unfortunately there are those that now desire to only follow the written laws. Let us discard traditional values and just go with what is written down. Living your life with a contract ? And therein lies the crux of the matter. Ir we remove Christ from the discussion all that remains is man. It is with other men that we must make and enforce these contracts. Lawyers as judges. But what of a moral code ? Where is that spelled out ? Where is it delineated ? In our tradition it is in the pages of the Bible. It is not the " law " of the land. Our founders felt it unnecessary and dangerous to do so. Why ? Because within the pages of the Bible it clearly says man has free will. We will not make laws to constrain that ! That free will pertains to belief and tradition. You may choose. Your choice must be supported by the majority in order for it to become a law, a law written by man. Even with a majority, a certain victory, our founders did not impose the Christian faith upon the citizens ! That is what they escaped and what they did not want here. They knew then, as we know now, traditions cannot be imposed upon a population.That is the responsibility of the population, not the government.
Times change that is true. The manner in which each of us wish to be treated has not. That is why man writes his laws. It is an effort to spell out our traditional values. Yes, Christian values. If we exclude these " traditional " values from the public discussion what are we left with ? Only with those that have sufficient power to impose their will. Now that is something to think about. What do we then teach our children ? Teach them that they are only bound by the law of man ? Teach them that if you don't like those laws, just replace them ?
This attack upon our tradition is unsettling to say the least. Is not autocratic rule just the very thing our forefathers wished to avoid ? Is it not our tradition ? That is where we are headed however, if we allow it. I am not calling for a crusade. What I am calling for is a stand for tradition. You do not need to observe my traditions, but you do not have the right to deny them to me either. I would say you have an obligation to acknowledge them. To be dismissive of others traditions is the ultimate sign of disrespect. There are those that consider themselves " patriots " yet trample our traditions. There are those that consider themselves " educated " yet fail to understand.
Well, I have said what I wanted to say. I will add that I think if we wish to place a Christmas tree or any other message on a public building that's just fine with this taxpayer. Should you wish to place a Menorah there, Happy Hanukkah. Buildings do not represent the government, people do ! 

Going On

I attempt to maintain my routine, it is all one can do at times like this. The old folks will tell you, life goes on. It is becoming clear to me that I am becoming the old folks. Not that I am ancient or anything like that, but I understand that sentiment exactly. It is a resignation to the world that accompanies aging. The realization it does no good to struggle against time. Life goes on. One can carry the mistakes, regrets and sorrow of the past with them, or leave them by the side of the road.
And so it is best just to carry on, as best as one can. Things are not the same, and never will be again, but life goes on. Adjustments need to be made, it is when those adjustments are forced upon us that we rebel. It is also when we need to remember that we are not in control. There are things way beyond our meager abilities.
Yes I question why my brother had to leave this earth. I am no different than anyone else. The loss of those you love does leave you a bit breathless. It also leaves you with questions ? How should I react ? Are my actions and reactions appropriate ? What is my role in all of this ? What can I learn ? I believe everything happens for a reason, there are no random actions from the creator. I can not believe that is possible. To believe that would be to place your trust on a whim. I would like an answer though, I can't deny that. I also believe I will be given that answer one day. Patience is required. One thing I do know, there is no urgency in death.
I will carry on. I will carry the memory of my brother with me on my journey. I will speak of him, and to him, often. My answers will come and life will go on.

With a purpose

I spent most of yesterday in quiet contemplation. The loss of my brother occupying my thoughts. After writing yesterday's posting I reviewed it in my mind . One statement I made seemed to hang with me, that old familiar, Rest In Peace. It is that prospect that lingers in my mind. I do not believe that our lives end with death. Death only affects our physical state and not our souls. The souls journey continues on. I think that those that love the departed become the host for their souls. We carry a portion of them with us on our journey. Our journey now is into the future. And to travel forward in time does not require the hindrance of a body. So should we be saying rest in peace ? No, I think it is only " peace " that we seek in our own life. It is a comfort for us to think of death in that way, as a restful sleep. Sleep however is followed by reawakening. I do not think we go to sleep at all. We go forward with the purpose our God has designated for us. That we should be constrained to one ,or even two planes, seems a bit shortsighted. My brother is needed elsewhere, according to the plan. His purpose here has been fulfilled.
And so I shall think of him in that way. As being elsewhere, being who he is and doing what he does. A portion of him resides within me and that cannot be taken. It is my share and I was given a full measure. I should be thankful for that and not mourn the loss. To have had such a brother is a blessing. Ours was a relationship of acceptance. He accepted me as his brother and I he. Through all else; that remained. Words went unspoken, but not unheard. His outward countenance in contrast to his inner feelings. A gruff response or a cavalier attitude conveying the meaning. A brother understands these nuances like no other.
Often we think we have had our last interaction with a person after their death. I don't believe this to be so. A portion of him is with me always and so why shouldn't we interact ? It is only natural don't you think ? His influence will always be felt. I will always speak of him with pride. In doing so am I not interacting with him ? It is not mystical or ghostly stories but part of the natural order of things. My father left this earth twenty four years ago but I am still aware of his presence. Why should it not be so with my brother ? One day I will join him on his journey, if that is what is willed. I can no more know where I shall go in the future than know where it is my brother was sent. I am not privy to that information. I can only know what is and what was. It is enough. Go forth my brother, you have been called.   

Going on Faith

Facing uncertainty. That is the future. We can not know what will be the end result. All we mortals can do is perservre and pray. There are times when we are faced with this stark reality. On most days we go forward without much thought and filled with expectations. Then ,something happens to shake your world. That is when we must rely on faith.
The manner in which we proceed during these periods of uncertainty form our character. It is a trial. I face just such a trial this very day. I have just learned that my oldest brother has passed away. Harold has gone to join the host of heaven. It is a relief for him, a release from pain and suffering, and a time of trial for we that love him. You often hear people say, I loved him or her when someone goes, but the truth is we never stop loving, so the past tense is incorrect. I love him still and will always do so. He is my brother.
All one can do is turn to their faith and take comfort. It is those remaining that require that, he is in the caring arms of Jesus. It is a difficult thing, this loss. I worry more about my Mother who now has to bury a son. Cindy, must bury her husband. His children and grandchildren struggling to understand. And of what comfort can I be ? Sadly, very little. My faith shall sustain me, I pray for them.
Of my brother I can only say he lived life on his terms. A robust fellow that had, what the kids today call, swag. He did many things in his lifetime and filled many roles. A larger than life sorta guy. Yes, he was that. When we were children he defended me fiercely. I am his little brother. He joined the Navy and served his country. Another Vietnam era veteran gone to rest. He is just a young man. Just sixty seven. Yet his time on earth is through. He has served his mission, whatever it was, and God has called him home. His visit on this earth complete.
I love him, always have, and always will. The relationship between brothers can be as complicated as any relationship. It can also be as simple as, He is my brother. He is always with me and in my thoughts. We shared the same path. We may have wandered down different road now and again, but brothers will do that. Rest in Peace brother.
I only just received this news. The full impact has yet to arrive. I must steel myself against vulnerability and be strong in my faith. Each day is filled with uncertainty. All we can do is, go on faith. 

A good cigar

                       
I turn on the morning news and the big story is the United States is moving toward normalizing relations with Cuba. A prisoner exchange has already taken place. It is all about economics. No surprise there, it is usually all about the cash. So far there is no promise of change for the Cuban people. Not being an expert in foreign policy and relations I must reserve judgement on this. I have already heard substantive arguments pro and con. Call me a skeptic but maybe it is just that the wealthy in the United States are looking for another vacation spot. Havanna used to be a booming place and I suppose it can be again.
I did find it amusing that the embargo on Cuban cigars has been lifted. You are now permitted to bring in one hundred dollars worth of Cuban cigars from any country that sells them. I think it is funny given our governments interest in smoking prevention. Isn't that why the taxes on tobacco products are so outrageous ? Isn't that supposed to be a deterrent ? Well I guess imported Cuban cigars aren't that bad. You can only get a little bit of cancer from them, much the same way marijuana is only a little illegal. That's the liberal logic in this move.
Machiavelli said, " keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Is that the thinking behind this ? There is talk of building an embassy in Havana.  Can the Copa be far behind ? But what of the Cuban people ? Are they going to be free to leave the island nation ? And if they are ,are we the United States then going to assume the burden of feeding and caring for them ? It may sound cold but it is a reality. With the influx and possible amnesty for the latin America " immigrants " what impact would hundreds, possibly thousands of Cuban " immigrants " have on our economy ? Will cigars pay for that ? I don't know,as I've said, not much on foreign policy. It does seem to me, at least on the surface of things, that our President is giving a whole lot more than we are getting in return. Yes, Alan Gross is back in America, freed after five years and I am happy for him and his family. As to the reason behind his imprisonment in the first place I cannot speak. He claims complete innocence, but doesn't every criminal say that ? Believing what you were doing was correct doesn't make it so. Sometimes even doing what is necessary and right is still contrary to the law of the land.
The news is reporting that only Congress can lift the trade embargo with Cuba. President Obama is going to ask them to do that. Given his track record if they do not agree it will make little difference. Can anyone say, executive privilege ? I see another " order " being signed.
This came as a surprise. They say not even Alan Gross knew about the deal. Wonder how that happened ? There certainly doesn't seem to be a whole lot of " secrets " from the media these days. The evening news reports on impending invasions and the battle plans. Must have went through the IRS, they are good at keeping secrets and losing e-mails. I have heard the economy of Cuba is struggling a bit. Coincidence ? Could be Raul Castro just wants to be friends because, you know, his brother Fidel was a bit abrasive.
I did read some of Raul Castro's' speech to his nation. I found it very telling but I'm no diplomat. I did hear him say, quite clearly, that he wants to do business with the United States to stabilize an economic model to sustain Socialism. He went on to say he had a 45 minute conversation with President Obama. He understood that the law in the United States prevents trade with Cuba. Then he went on to say, and I can't help but wonder where he got that idea from, that the President of the United States has the ability  to " modify " it's implementation. Raul Castro then went on to acknowledge that there are " profound differences " between our two nations. He said two of those areas are democracy and human rights. Yup, sounds like a man I want to negotiate with alright. He is telling us what he wants, we give it him, and we get cigars in return. Well I suppose a retired president has to have something to do. May as well enjoy retirement with a good cigar.

Atonement ?

Yesterday I wrote about my grandson visiting his pop -pop at the cemetery. That led me to thinking. What if we are the visitors ? I mean, suppose earth is like a big cemetery, just a stopover on a cosmic journey ? Where we go next is determined by our choices while we are here. Or is it that we are being given a chance to change our ways ? Terrestrial life as a means of atonement ? Well, that just opens the door to more questions now doesn't it ? But would that then change the entire scenario ? I would have to say, not really. I say that because the goal remains unchanged, to live a good and productive life. Our primary mission here should be to help our fellow man, or at the very least, to do him no harm. Co-existence is the goal.
The Greeks had that same idea in a way. I think that is why they had so many gods they could appeal to. They looked for help and believed they received it. I believe there is but one God and he can help me. Well, he will help me help myself. Yes, I believe in miracles but when they occur it is, miraculous ! Hence they don't happen to the same person everyday. That is part of the free will concept. Is this life an opportunity ? Yes it certainly is. That is my opinion.
We often question why we lost someone. This is especially true for the young. It is difficult to understand. Why are some taken from us in tragic ways ? Why do others stay for a hundred years or more ? Why should our visit be so brief or so lengthy ? Is there a significance in that ? Does there need to be ? Ah, but these are the questions man has always strived to answer. I'm no different and do not profess to have the answers. I do take a certain comfort in believing that this earth is just a temporary layover. This is not the beginning or the end. My Bible tells me that is the providence of God.
I do question why we tend to think of this life as a sort of trial. We are told we will go to our final reward. Is this the final phase ? How can we understand the vastness of the universe and the possibilities there ? Perhaps this life is just a brief period of transition. The speed in which we pass through indeterminate.
I would have to say we must be visitors. Not one of us remain here forever. Seems clear enough when looked at in that way. Eternal life is the goal, is it not ? That is the promise that we have been given. Do we then need to " earn " that promise ? Do we need to prove ourselves worthy ? Is submission to a higher power essential ? The answer to those questions are the foundations of faith. Is this life an atonement or a reward ? My answer is, a reward. And we should be grateful for that reward. Then the only question left is, to whom do we owe that gratitude ? The answer is as individual as the soul that carries the question. I have my answer, hopefully you have found yours.

Visiting

This is a picture of Mark,my grandson, visiting his Pop-Pop. It is a picture that cannot help but touch your heartstring. Such an old soul in a young man. He prefers to sit alone and speak his mind, or is it quiet contemplation ? I can't say as I have never asked. Maybe this picture is so poignant because of the grey skies. Maybe it is the Christmas wreath upon his grave. As with many pictures the memories it evokes is a personal thing. I know the thousand words.
I did mention to Mark that I had seen this picture. I asked him if he would come to visit me after my passing. He said, he would. I said to him, you can ask me " what's up " and I'll say, " not me " and that should freak you out. We enjoyed a chuckle together. I have always told him not to be sad for those who have passed, but be happy for them. Sorrow is for those left here on earth, the deceased are not sad. Sometimes those words may sound hollow and that is understandable. It is only human nature to mourn the loss of those we love. I think Mark understands that and that is why the conversations with his Pop-Pop. He is just checking in, confident that his Pop-Pop is doing well.
The loss of his maternal grandfather was the first loss he experienced. I can understand how he feels. It was my great grandfather that I lost first and the impression left on me was lasting. I remember having to leave the service, grief overcoming me. I did not go to the cemetery for the burial and would not go afterwards for many years. Mark dealt with his pain the complete opposite. He not only attended the ceremony, he spoke at it. And he spoke with eloquence ! He brought me to tears and we cried together. In that instant Tom was forever Pop-Pop and I grandpa. The significance is not lost.
There are moments in time that will remain with us. It is those moments that are the treasures in life. Indelible and infinite. It is a comfort to know that I will be visited. You are never gone as long as someone mentions your name. I believe that. What stories will I hear in the years to come ? Hopefully ones I can respond to ! I like to talk more than listen. Still, it is a comfort to just listen sometimes. 

Insight or whimsy ?

I was pleased to participate in the Wreaths across America effort. It was a brief affair here in Greensboro. I am hoping that the size and participation increases next year. It is an effort I believe in and strongly support. I chose Lt. Col Comegy, civil war veteran and two others. The others are completely unknown to me but I'm betting they appreciate the gesture.
Now in the Greensboro cemetery there is a large mausoleum. This is the resting place of Mr. Clinton B Jarman, his wife and two others. Mr. Jarman was a very affluent man. He had interest in everything in Greensboro. The bank and several businesses. I have been told that he insisted on the very best in everything. That mausoleum is the proof of that. It dominates the cemetery. Sitting in a central location all the other graves seem to surround it. I imagine Mr. Jarman wanted it that way.
There are tall double doors in the face. They are locked, of course. When the last time anyone has entered that chamber is a mystery. The key has been lost to time. There are no descendants of this man in the area, It is that knowledge that always causes me to think. I can not but feel sad for this man and his family. To erect such an edifice as a lasting tribute to his successes in life, only to be alone in death. It is a beautiful home, but of what value if no one comes to visit ? That is my thought.
I do not know if Mr. Jarman was a veteran. I do know no wreath was placed there. I do go to the cemetery rather frequently and have never seen anything left for him. I wonder why I am drawn to this. Is it because of the mausoleum ? Is that the draw ? Perhaps that was the intent. Did Mr. Jarman seek the attention of all but not allow them too close ? Sort of like a celebrity ? I imagine with his affluence he got his share of requests for aid. I can also see others in town that may begrudge him his successes. It is often the way with men of wealth and power.
There is much in Greensboro that can be credited to Mr. Jarman. He brought the first telephone to town. In 1898 it was installed in his hardware store. That he was heavily involved in civic affairs is obvious to even the most casual of historians in Greensboro. What would Mr. Jarman have to say about Greensboro today ? In his time Greensboro was a thriving community with much hope for the future. Growth was expected. Greensboro is a wonderful little town in which to live, but has never reached the heights imagined by Mr. Jarman and his contemporaries. In his day there were factories and industry in town.
Maybe it is just because of the season and the wreath laying. I have a feeling that Mr. Jarman celebrated Christmas with as much gusto as he did in his business life. That he was a lifelong member of the Methodist church I know. I believe he was a pious man. Such was the role of any respectable business man in his day. That was a time when people were very aware of their roles in society. An observance of the proprieties was essential to success. And now to lie inside his beautiful home with just his wife and two others, doors locked and no celebration. I feel drawn to do something for him and his family. Not a wreath, but perhaps a small Christmas bouquet, simple yet elegant. I think he would enjoy that and his family too. I was asked if I thought we knew when we were visited at the cemetery. I answered, yes ! If you believe in life after death there can be no other answer. He will know and that is all that matters. The only problem I have is, I am equally drawn to others that have no visitors. What to do ? Mr. Jarman got my attention. It could be that was his intent, to draw attention. It could also be his intent was to draw attention to those that are less fortunate. Every life is worthy of remembrance. Whether you lived in a mansion or a shack makes no difference. I think in the case of Mr. Jarman he is locked inside his home. I can knock on the door, but never enter. So in a way I feel like it is not a visit. Then again maybe I need only wait. After I am gone maybe the door will be answered and I will be invited in. I just need an introduction. 

Defiance

Only people that know me really well would know this about me. I'm a bit of a stickler when it comes to the rules. Call it a personality quirk or whatever but breaking written rules is a bit uncomfortable for me, always has been. The type of thing I'm talking about are things like notices. For instance, at the top of the program for the Nutcracker performance it clearly states, no videos or photography. Still I took pictures ! There is to be no eating or drinking in the auditorium. I did. I'm blaming this behavior on my wife. It was by her instance that I broke those rules. She is leading me down a path of destruction but I am powerless to prevent her. The devil truly does work through the things that we love the most.
I can not explain exactly why this is, this compulsion to comply. Maybe it has something to do with my military training or Dad's belt ! I just can't say but the feeling is real. I am very much aware of it when I act contrary to the rules. I get this feeling of defiance. I am not what I would describe as scared of being caught, but more like ready to defend myself. Does that any sense to you ? I have my rationale ready to explain why I am taking those pictures. Excuses, that is what I feel they really are and I do not like excuses. But it is my wife that brings out the desperado in me. Ah, the things men do for women.
I did enjoy the performance very much. Even though I was aware of all the lawlessness going on, I wasn't the only one taking pictures and sneaking in snacks. This compulsion to follow the rules does not interfere with with that If that were the case I suppose I would have to seek counseling. I can become comfortable with the " bad boy " role. And that is another source of concern. Once you start on these paths it can become difficult to turn back. No telling where it might lead. Next thing you know you are sampling the grapes at the grocery store, or removing the tags from your pillows ! Once, you know where it says do not write below this line on the back of your checks ? I did ! And I have found myself ringing the customer service bell several times. My excuse ? I was in a hurry. That is where this stuff can lead you. After a while you get a reputation.
I have posted a few of those pictures on social media. Come and get me if you want to. That is the defiance in me. And I also have a few bootlegged videos from that performance, wanna make something outta it ? I didn't think so. And now I'm going to get another cup of coffee. I'm going to set it right on my desk, without a coaster ! Oh, this path I have been set upon, I need to change it. 

Discussions

Writing these blogs is like having a discussion; with myself. It is not what I expected when I began. I thought to just write down my random thoughts and memories for the grandkids or possibly others to enjoy. I chose random thoughts because I don't feel like I am an expert in any one field or subject matter. My mind and my interests wander. Whether that is a good thing or not, I leave to the future.
There has been an unexpected benefit. I think I may have grown a little bit in some ways. Discussion, not argument, has a way of doing that. When you start to argue with yourself that is a sign of trouble ! Now, I often have to give myself a stern talking to, self reprimand is good for the soul, but I seldom argue with myself. I pretty much agree that I know what I'm talking about, it is others that get confused by my thoughts. Trying to explain those thoughts is the daily challenge I face in writing and in the real world. It is the challenge we all face. If we could only understand the mind of our fellow man a lot of trouble would be avoided. Well, it is a cultural thing for the most part. Although I do think that is becoming more of a blurred image. It has become a popular thing to adopt a " culture " based on ancestry. That is a discussion I have had with myself. My conclusion was the degree of that adoption is usually based upon what your parents stressed to you. I have German and Swedish ancestry. I was aware of that as a child but my parents didn't stress it. By that I mean we did not practice or adopt any cultural things from either of those cultures. I am an American. Not a hyphenated American, an American. I will forever stand with America.
I do think these "discussions" that I have been having have served a purpose. My attitudes on certain subjects have changed somewhat. I would say my core values have not changed, but I am less likely to be angered by others whose core values do not agree with mine. Tolerance and understanding ? Perhaps. I would say I have a less aggressive approach to my arguments. You could say I don't beat myself up nearly as much as I used to. Measured responses are the better avenue to discussion.
In some ways our " society " is having a big discussion. This discussion has become heated in the last few weeks. It is troubling to say the least. There are some that want to just scrap the fundamentals of our government in favor of new " liberal " policies. There are those claiming bias and prejudice and those denying the existence of it. Both groups are correct. That is so because we do not understand the mindset of the others. Again I believe it is really a cultural thing. We need to get everyone on the same page, to coin an old adage. Quit arguing and start discussing !
Reading over what I just wrote I can see I have wandered again. It is what I do. I hope that some of what I write causes others to think and discuss. I find reading others thoughts to be a more effective way of understanding what it is they are trying to say. Writing does have a tendency to remove the emotional response from the discussion. You could argue that a good writer inspires an emotional response. That is true enough, but I don't claim to be a good writer. Plus it depends upon what you are writing about.
So, what is it I am trying to say in all of this ? I'm just sayin' talk about it, but don't fight over it. Wouldn't that be great ? Then we wouldn't have wars. Wars are fought over ideals. Wars are fought over the discussions of men and fought by those that believe. That is about as basic as it gets.  

Wreaths across America

This Saturday morning I will be participating in " Wreaths across America. " We will all meet at the Greensboro Cemetery @ 7:15 am. Saturday is also the Army/Navy football game and some have tickets for that, so an early start is necessary. At any rate I am pleased to be a participant.
In case you are not aware of this effort it is a program whose goal is to provide a wreath on every veterans grave in America ! A monumental task to be sure but one worthy of the effort. Funeral homes across the nation are the facilitators for this. It is a fairly new endeavor and this year is the first year for Geensboro. I checked with the cemetery where my father is interred but they are not participating. What a shame. I still could have contacted someone in the area and had a wreath sent there. But, I'm getting ahead of myself a bit.
There is a national organization that is the spearhead for this. There website is, Wreaths Across America. From there you can read all about the mission and order your wreaths. They will ship the wreaths to the appropriate funeral home for distribution. I would encourage you all to go to that website and read about it. Do your research and if you agree with the mission, join in. It is too late for this year but there is always the next. I believe it would make an excellent fundraiser too,but am not sure about the details in that regard. Something worth considering.
My daughter in law purchased her wreaths and is laying one on her Dad's grave. I purchased some as well and have selected Col. William Comegy, civil war veteran, to receive mine. I salute your service sir ! The object here is that no veteran goes without recognition at Christmas. There is an effort to place a wreath on every grave at Arlington National as well. That should be a spectacular sight.
They have special deals and offers as well. There is more than can be purchased. I took advantage of the deal to buy two and get a third free. The other two I received will be placed on veterans that I have known, unless their family members have already done so. In that case I will locate some veterans in need of a wreath and place them there. Knowing the person is not the important part of this exercise. It is not about that.
I am excited and proud to participate. A small ceremony will be held prior to lying the wreaths. Perhaps just a small prayer and the playing of Taps. We shall see how it goes. I'm hoping for an annual event that grows in size. I do think it is a wonderful idea.  

Listening to the Christmas tree

It is a tradition with me. A personal tradition one might say, if there is such a thing. I suppose you could label it a quirk. Whatever the case may be it is something I do each year. I listen to the Christmas tree. Some of us may see the tree as a symbol at the end of another year. I see it as a beginning and a fixture of a birthday party. Yes, instead of cake, Jesus gets a tree. It is sort of a strange merging of  separate concepts. And the thing is, the tree speaks to those who listen.
Now I'm not saying the tree is Jesus. Don't go getting any crazy notions like that. I am saying that both speak to us, if we but listen.
Now just when this tradition began I can't say exactly. I do recall that at some point in my childhood my Mother told me about listening to the Christmas tree. Turn out all the lights, except those on the tree, and turn off the television or radio. Just sit in the quiet and the in the glow of that tree and listen. Soon you will hear. You just have to listen. What do I hear ? Well, at times I hear the laughter of children on Christmas morning, my own included, and at other times I hear entire conversations. The tree catches me up on the events from the last year. A sort of therapy.
This year I discovered something new. A real tree speaks louder. I know that because the last two years I have had an artificial tree. I used all the excuses. A real tree is expensive, they makes a mess, they can be a hazard and it is only the two of us, no kids. Yes, I became complacent. I had intended to do the same again this year, then my wife saw them, real trees only in tabletop size ! We circled the block and went back to the store that was selling them. Struck me funny that it was a liquor and lottery store. You know the kind, probably owned by a Pakistani. Not a business associated with Christmas. I bought one about three feet in height. I placed it in the back seat of the car. That was easy. When I got it home I went old school and built a wooden stand. The traditional cross shaped type, like on Charlie Brown. I set it up on a snack table and " viola " it's Christmas ! A few lights, a ribbon or two and the Angel on the top. That very evening the tree began to speak ! Even before I had things turned off, that tree was almost screaming at me. Well, maybe that is a bit of exaggeration but I could hear it.
Maybe it is the smell of that fresh cut spruce. Maybe it has something to do with building the stand. I don't know but that little tree sure brightened my home. Just like the presence of Jesus will do in your life. Yes, and both speak to you if you but listen. Is that what my Mom was trying to tell me ? Could be, I'll go with that. God hears even those who whisper, no shouting required. He also speaks, quietly and gently. The tree reminds me of the season. It also serves as a reminder of why we celebrate. A new birth, a new beginning. It is wise to review the past before proceeding into the future. Makes sense to me.

Can you hear it ? 

Fortune

It is just a little thing. A trinket really but irreplaceable. It is my great grandfathers tie-tac. I have it in a small brown velvet covered jewelry box. I believe it is the box it originally came in. There is no writing or markings anywhere on the box. No manufacturer markings of any kind are on the tie tac itself. It is all a mystery to me. The how and why of it all is unknown and lost to time. That it belonged to my great grandfather is without question. I know that beyond a doubt. I can remember him wearing it because of it's design. It is two gold wishbones. The design is also different to me. It is like a hatpin. It is just a straight pin that you poke through. Seems like you would damage the material and possibly yourself ! It is a small treasure.
I have given some thought on how to display this little item. At first I thought I might place it in a shadow box. Another idea was to display that tie tac on a vintage tie, one like " gramp " would have worn. I am still considering that possibility. I am one of those that believe these treasures should be on display somewhere. I mean what's the point in having them if you can't share them with others. Not that I get that much company but I do think it is that sort of thing that makes a home. Homes should be interesting places. Homes should reflect your hopes and dreams and pieces of the past as well. At least that is my feeling. Homes should feel old, houses are new or they are empty. Think about it, you don't go home shopping. Once you buy a house, you make it home. You can't buy the stuff to make a home. Home is where the heart is and where does your heart reside ? Not at the department store, that's for sure. I'm fortunate to have things to add that love in my home.
If you have ever watched " The Quiet Man " movie, the one with John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara you will recognize this line. Maureen O'Hara is telling John Wayne how much she always dreamed of having her own home, and this is the important part, with all me things about me. That was her " fortune. " It is a sentiment that I understand completely. Now whether the Irish have or had such a tradition as " her fortune " I couldn't say. It was portrayed as a very important thing in their society and to her. As in all dramatic portrayals it was, by design, dramatic ! Still I can relate to exactly what she was talking about. In a way, the things that I have are also , me fortune. They are the things one can leave for future generations that will not leave them. Money can be spent and squandered away but objects can last forever if they are kept alive. By that I mean as long as their stories are being told. An attachment to the object must be established. That is part of my intent in displaying these things. Primarily it is for my own enjoyment, but the secondary purpose is a happy coincidence. It is my hope that these objects stay around.
I'll give it some more thought. Perhaps I will display it on a tie. I just don't know the best way to go about it. I have no idea the age of that tie tac but it can wait. A curiosity ? Not to me, although there are mysteries associated with it. When did he get it ? Was it a gift ? All I know is that he prized it very highly. A piece of his fortune. I have it now and that makes me fortunate. Funny how that works out.

Not the best picture but as good as it gets at 5:45 in the morning !

A Norman Rockwell memory

It would have been just about now. Mom would be asking for the running pine and princess pine for her Christmas decorations. That was an annual event, the gathering of the greens. It is something I will remember my entire life and not a Christmas goes by that I don't think about it. We kids had a special spot to go. The signs are long gone now, but at one time they were posted. Game sanctuary, no trespassing ! Violators will be prosecuted. Ha, didn't apply to us woodsmen though. We were masters of those woods and would move about through them freely. We had it like that ! Or at least so we believed. Northwest woods was still rather sparsely populated. There was plenty of " open " space as they call it nowadays. It was in northwest that we gathered some other necessities of the season, like white birch for a yule log, or white pine for wreath making. Mistletoe could be had too, if you were brave enough to climb the tree. Deep in northwest woods was the remnants of an old orchard. Apple trees could be found there and it was in those apple trees that mistletoe could be found. Those trees weren't very large but climbing them was a bit tricky,especially so in cold weather. Harder to get a grip with gloves on. But it was that running pine and princess pine that were the real treasures of the season. Running pine could be wrapped around the bannister of the staircase. It was great for covering the mantle as well. And princess pine, those delicate little plants were just spectacular, especially if the tops were still there. The deer loved those little brown shoots that came out of the top and would eat them . They seldom touched the pine, just the shoot. Delicate eaters those deer and I have seen them do it. If you lie still enough and just wait you can watch. Princess pine grows close to water, another attraction to the wildlife, and so good grazing ground.
It has been forty four years since my last Christmas harvest. That would have been the Christmas of '70. I joined the Navy the next year and left in August of '71. Sure I went home and visited but never roamed those woods again. The memory of that was still fresh and commonplace in the years directly following. It is often that way. We don't really begin to appreciate or miss those things until we can no longer do them. We tend to think, we can do that anytime. But time marches on and things change. Northwest woods is heavily populated now. I'm betting those old apple trees are long gone. No longer could I drag my ax behind me and chop away at a white pine ! Perhaps a few white birch remain, they were always treated with respect because of their few numbers. I would just remove a limb or perhaps find some already on the ground.
Yes they were the traditions I grew up with. It wasn't Christmas until the greens were gathered. The tree, always a real one, standing by the staircase. Yes, we had holly too. The princess pine and running pine were the stars however. The location of those items is still safe from development. It is protected and shall remain forever so. That is a comforting thought. I like to think those pines still flourish there. I can think of no reason they would not. Perhaps one day I will go have a look. Perhaps it will be in December. It is a nice thought. I do think it is one of those things we like to think and dream about. It is also something best left undone. Memories are sometimes sweeter when left in the past. Something to just carry with us and use when the mood strikes us. A comfort. Those memories will forever be linked to Christmas and my childhood, my Norman Rockwell memory. 

A boy and a bear

There are small incidents that happen in our lives that remain with us. They may be small and insignificant at the time but somehow retain a prominence in our mind. I can't explain why this is, only that it happens. Recently I was reminded of just such a small event. A friend had posted a blog about her granddaughter. She was speaking of an attachment that young girl girl has to a stuffed animal. She remarked how she found it funny how children will sometimes do that. We both agreed that there is nothing wrong with that, a perfectly natural thing. It is a curiosity however how some children will do that, and others will not. I myself carried a stuffed monkey around for a while. I don't really remember it, but there are pictures. Also Mom told me about it and she would know. I was telling this friend about my grandson, he has a stuffed raccoon. He no longer carries it around or anything like, that but it does occupy a special place in his room, and I think, in his heart. Exactly why that is I couldn't say, and I'm sure he couldn't either. It was then I was reminded of another little incident.
When my boys were just little guys, probably five or six they each had a small stuffed bear. They carried them around and played with them often. Now one day their mom had taken them out somewhere, I can't recall the details, but I was left at home with the bears. For some reason I decided to tease the boys. I took their bears and hung them, by their necks, from a light fixture. I know, I know it sounds awful but hey, I'm a guy ! So when the kids come home they see the bears and have a small fit about it. Just the reaction I was hoping for. We laughed and teased and they got their bears back. Funny thing is, one son still has that bear. It has been washed so many times it really isn't brown anymore, it is threadbare and had to be restuffed. That bear has been around !
That was just a little incident that took place close to thirty five years ago. A dad fooling around with his boys. Seemed insignificant enough at the time. It was just a passing thing, or was it ? For some unexplainable reason a bond was formed that day. It wasn't a bond between a stuffed bear and a boy however, it was a bond between a father and son. Who could have foreseen such a result from what would seem a cruel act. Yet, there it is. Is nostalgia that bond ? That would seem reasonable on the surface of things. I do believe however it is deeper than that. There is much more to the story. That story is only known by my son. It can not be told. That is because that story only exists in our collective conscious and would make no sense to anyone else. At this point the existence of the bear is only symbolic. The fact that it still exists is pretty cool, but not necessary.
Our lives are full of such small incidents. We are not always aware of them however. Sometimes it takes years to understand a single moment. It is that single moment in time that transcends our human limitations and we are enlightened. That point of light still shines brightly and shall forever.

Goodbye to heroes

Today being Pearl Harbor day I can not but think of my father. I am also reminded of the countless others that were brought into the struggle. On a Sunday morning those planes swept in and commenced to just bomb. Then some looped around and raced across the naval station guns blazing strafing anything and everything in sight. What a horrific sight that must have been. My father was not there, by the grace of God, and so was spared that. As far as I am aware I had no family member on that base. That was seventy three years ago today.
The memory is fading. The survivors are becoming few. A passage into history is taking place and I am keenly aware. I can only guess at the emotions those present must feel today. Especially so those that went on to fight. Young men now grown old. Warriors once, but the battle has been won. Surely they carry the pride of victory in their hearts and justifiedly so.
I think many of us fail to recognize the context in which this event took place. This was a time before television. The only world or national news you heard was on the radio, if you had one. No internet. Newspapers and magazines kept you up to date. There was no radar stations, no early warning systems. Imagine, if you will, sitting at home on the east coast of the country and hearing that news. Pearl Harbor has been attacked ! Where are the Japanese now ? Are they off our coast and preparing another assault ? You have no real time information, no clue. Surely the anxiety level had to be way up there. Anxiety and anger ! You would have heard of the attack and then the President giving his speech to congress. You would have heard those now famous words, a day that will live in infamy. About an hour following that speech the Congress of the United States of America declared war on imperial Japan, Germany and Italy. On June 2, 1942 congress also declared war upon Bulgaria, Hungary and Romania. There has been no declaration of war made since that time. Not one.
Things have not been so clear cut since that time.
Those returning from that war seldom spoke of the battle. It was only discussed in smoke filled rooms and in hushed tones. Whatever mental issues those returning soldiers suffered with was their own. Yes there were parades and celebrations. Our veterans were honored, for a while. Then as time passed their contributions became more of a piece of history, now they are being slowly absorbed. Those young men, barely more than boys, were tempered in the fire of war and prevailed. Hollywood and time has shown many portrayals of their deeds. Some names remain a part of our discussion today, men like Patton and Eisenhower. Both were generals and one would become president. So many conflicts have followed but none have been declared War. They were labeled that after the fact but not by Congress, by politicians. Yes, when it comes to death and dying semantics matter little but it is a fact. On this day seventy three years ago we were attacked. The following day we declared war. Hasn't happened since ! And so now the combatants in that war are becoming few. It was the generation of my father. My own dad has long since passed but I remember. It is our lot to say goodbye. Saying goodbye to heroes is never easy. I will carry the memory for them, as best I can.

Probably

There was an interesting little story on the evening news. It concerned a man that has been sentenced to four years in jail for issuing threats. Without delving into a bunch of details basically he threatened his estranged wife/girlfriend. He did this on social media. He has now hired a lawyer to file an appeal. The lawyer is saying his client should be protected under the first amendment. Their position is that he said nothing that you don't hear in a Rap song on the radio everyday. He was just venting and his intent was not malicious. The appeal is going to be heard by the supreme court. The issue is freedom of speech vs the intent of that speech. The court is being asked to offer an opinion on intent ! A very slippery slope. Can anyone or any group of people really know the intent or the mind of another ? You must know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to satisfy the legal system we enjoy here in America. Can we convict on " probably ? "
I hesitate to rush to judgement, I don't have all the facts in this case. The thing is I don't really care all that much about the case, just the consequences. There should be consequences for our actions. I will say this, I am under the impression that this man's intent was to intimidate his ex. I believe he was hurt, emotionally, and was lashing out. Would he have carried out those threats ? Well that is where the probability factor comes in to the equation. Personally, I don't think so. I think if that was his intent he would have done so immediately following the breakup, probably.That is where the court enters the picture, at probably. Can we convict on probably ? Is that a preponderance of the evidence ? Probably. Is that beyond a shadow of a doubt ? You have to answer no. That is the problem here. The other person has a right to be protected against such an onslaught of malice. Do we have to wait until an action occurs to rule on the probability of it happening ? Hmmm, a bit of a sticky wicket eh ?
There is an entire field of science devoted to probability. Mathematicians calculating the probability of something happening. Is there a scientific formula that applies to human emotion ? I don't think so, although E harmony might disagree. If I own a gun what is the probability that I will shoot someone ? It is certainly greater than if I don't own one. If I threaten you with harm is the probability that I will harm you greater ? Probably, but not absolutely. So the question is, should I be punished for threatening you ? I do think I should be held accountable for my actions. Consequences should never be probably. It really is like raising a child. You can not leave room for probably. If you do this, the consequences are that. No guessing, no exceptions.
In this particular case I think we can all agree that his actions were inappropriate. Common sense dictates that. Four years in prison does seem a bit excessive, but as I said, I am not familiar with the case. Maybe there are other factors involved here. Whatever the situation, he was convicted on his actions, not on what he might have done, not on probably. Do you have the unequivocal right to say or write anything you like ? Is that the freedom of speech that is protected ? Yes, unless that speech or writing harms another. How to decide that is the central issue in this case. This case is especially relevant given today's politically correct attitude. Bullying is a hot topic right now. I can be held accountable for cyber-bullying. There are certain words or phrases that I can not say without incurring the wrath of the majority of others. Certain words or phrases being considered harmful. In fact, some may be labeled " hate crimes. " Hating is becoming illegal. Entire careers have been destroyed by saying these things. The fact of the matter is, we all judge on probably, to some extent. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is probably a duck. But will that hold up in court ? The supreme court is being asked for their opinion, what is yours ? 

The least we can do

Sunday is December the seventh. How many instantly know what that means ? How many see the significance of it being on a Sunday ? I'm thinking unless you are of a certain age/generation the likelihood that you know is low. It is Pearl Harbor Day, a day that will live in infamy ! It will live in my mind only because of my father and his contemporaries. They all fought in that war. My children have heard of it to a lesser degree and their children even less. A day in infamy slipping into the history books. When the last survivor of that war is laid to rest, so too, the day. That may happen in my lifetime. We are losing those veterans at an alarming rate. Most of them are in their eighties and nineties. I will not forget but I have no first hand memory of the day, only stories I have been told.
December 7, 1941 was a Sunday. That was seventy three years ago. World War two seems like it was a lot longer ago than that to most of us. To those that fought that war I'm sure it doesn't seem quite so long ago. First hand memories seldom seem far off. The truth is, they are not. They are there anytime you close your eyes or find a silent moment. Those memories are fading fast.
It is the natural order of things and shouldn't be met with sorrow. All that pain and hurt finally going to rest. Now the story can be written in the history books. Piece by piece and from the perspective of time. I do not support war in any fashion. War is an evil thing. No world wars have followed the second world war. Now man has taken more to isolated conflicts and in more recent years, terror attacks. Has the world lost it's collective valor ? The collective sense of honor that used to exist ? Ah, but war is a terrible thing. But are more personal attacks superior to an all out brawl ? And that is what the second world war was, an all out brawl. The axis powers combined to fight the evil that was Germany and her supporters. Good won out and evil was defeated. Isn't that what the history shows ? Even in German history, that is so. Even in Japanese history that is taught. So we, the axis powers fought the good fight and prevailed.
Our history in conflict has become a lot more complex than that in years following that war. All the wars and conflicts that have followed have not been as clearly defined as was WW2. The objectives and goals are in shadow and still debated today. Has there been a " winner " since ? You could argue that there has not. Does that speak to my generation and the generations following mine ? I would say that it does. Without clear cut goals and ideals to achieve have we become ambiguous ? Is it moral ambiguity ? The generation that fought the second world war has been labeled the " greatest generation " and with good cause. There was no ambiguity in their will to defeat the evil that was Germany and Japan. They just followed their moral compass to ultimate victory. I would say that is a lesson we should review today, and review often. I would say that sneak attack,on a Sunday morning, was the first terror attack ! That generation met that threat and prevailed.
Yes that was seventy three years ago and times have changed. Our enemies are not so clear. There is no central nation to attack. We are fighting shadows and cowards. How will history judge our reactions ? Will this be the generation of excuses ? We didn't do anything because ? I think we first need to reestablish that moral compass that once guided our country. That compass led us through that day in infamy and through the entire war ! Somehow the compass has been skewed. Has time really changed, or is it the people ? And what makes the people do what they do ? The guidance they receive. Perhaps the guides have become a little disoriented. Each generation wanting better for the next. Different isn't always better. Changes can be good or bad. Maybe, just maybe  reverting back to the ways of morality once practiced in this nation, as a matter of course, will restore her. We owe it to those that fought to at least try. It is the least we can do.

Decisions

In another interesting case going before the supreme court the question is this, should your employer be required to accommodate your choices ? The central issue that lead this question to the court is this. A woman that worked for UPS as a driver and delivery person became pregnant. At some point she brought a note for her doctor saying she could not lift more than twenty five pounds. UPS requires it's driver to be able to lift seventy pounds. Subsequently UPS then places the woman on unpaid leave. There reasoning being she is unable to perform the job she was hired to do. They will hold her position until she is able to return to work. She is suing the company on the basis of discrimination. It is her feeling that UPS violated the 1978 ruling that pregnant women can not be discriminated against.
So, that is the issue as I see it. Her lawyer has stated if we don't " win " in the supreme court congress will have to change the law. Well first thing we need to understand is that the supreme court only issues opinions. In reality her lawyer is just asking the court to agree with their opinion. Irregardless of what the court says, the law doesn't change unless congress changes it ! We must remember lawyers make their living off what what is written and not written. The law is this case does not address directly the idea of choice. Becoming pregnant is a choice. I know that isn't always the case, " accidents " happen but the choice to perform the act leading to that accident was still a choice. But that is not the issue here anyway. She, by her own admission said she wanted to get pregnant and have another child. Now she feels that her choice to do so should not result in the consequences that they have. She feels that her employer should have to make accommodations and/or provisions for that. It is her feeling she should continue to receive full pay and benefits.
I believe that employers should,as a matter of morality, try their best to accommodate these things as far as practical. Still, it is a choice and choices have consequences. I certainly haven't read the UPS employees handbook and do not know what it says about this. That is where the lawyer steps in. Is it addressed in the handbook ? Was she aware of the consequence of making that choice ? If the answer is no, my retort as the opposing lawyer is , does it say that they will accommodate this ? Do we have to spell out the reasoning that if you can no longer perform your job, as a result of your own choices, outside of the work environment, the employer has the right to terminate your employment ? And, I would add, in this situation the employer placed her in a leave status.
The issue centers around this ladys' desire to start a family. I can understand that. She also wants her career. It is her feeling that her career is being affected by her choice to do so. She says, it isn't fair. In her opinion childbearing should give her executive privilege. Is that fair ? What of her male counterparts ? If a male should injure himself training for a bodybuilding competition, and become unable to perform his job, should they have to accommodate his choice as well ?
I think this whole thing is another attempt to legislate morality and common sense. It can't be done. I would hope that any employer would try to support their employees in any way possible. That is just as I would hope that all humans treat each other kindly and with respect. Can you legislate that ? Don't think you can. Also it is a matter of choice. And so the original question remains, should your employer be required to accommodate the choices you make in your private life ? It is easy to become mired in this topic. There are so many other issues involved. Although the other aspects involved are certainly important and worthy of discussion that can be a distraction. The real question remains, just who is accountable for your actions ? The decision was hers.

Who's to blame

What are professional sports teams doing to prevent domestic violence. That was the teaser to the story. As often happens with me the teaser just left me scratching my head. It left me befuddled. So much so I didn't listen to the story proper. My only question is, why should anyones' employer be responsible for the private actions of its' employees ? I mean, what does playing football,baseball,hockey or basketball have to do with domestic violence ? Do professional sports in some way promote it ? I don't think so, so why should they be held to account ? It sounds like another attempt to shift responsibility. It is not the players fault, the league didn't do enough to prevent it. When I next looked at the news report a professional football player was speaking, tears running down his face, his speech choked up, telling how he was a survivor of domestic violence ! A survivor !
As I said, I didn't listen to the entire story, but rather caught snippets of it as I was talking to my wife. There was a general feeling that the leagues should be educating the players concerning this issue. Isn't that the job of the parents ? Just what are you talking about ? You're an elite athlete and we admire your skills, so much so we pay millions of dollars for your services. We understand you have been to college and possess a degree, but you shouldn't hit your wife,girlfriends or children ! Geez coach, I didn't know that ! Gimme a break will ya. Just what do people expect the teams to do ? In the case of the Baltimore Ravens and Ray Rice, the incident that sparked this " discussion " the Ravens now support the House of Ruth. The house of Ruth provides shelter and counselling to victims of domestic abuse. A noble cause and one worth supporting. The thing is, prior to this incident the Ravens didn't give any aid or support to this organization. Now they claim they are doing their part to combat domestic violence. A bit of a transparent attempt don't you think ? More like a public relations thing to me. Whatever, as long as the House of Ruth benefits it is fine with me, but that is not the point.
Should your employer be responsible for, and dictate your private life ? If so what of other issues ? What if I become an alcoholic ? Should my employer have to provide rehabilitation and continued support ? What if I suffer from anxiety ? OMG, Chic Filet had an issue with the public due to the owners stand on gay marriage. There were outcries to boycott and censure that employer. Is it only the private issues that the general public agree with that these employers should " teach " and support ? Should not the " discussion " be about personal accountability ? Your employer is not responsible for your private actions ! Period, end of that discussion. You will be held accountable for actions deemed inappropriate by your employer. The employer is not responsible for modifying your personal behaviors. Is that hard to comprehend ? I don't think so.
It is my opinion that all this is getting out of control. The shifting of blame and/or responsibility to deflect personal shortcomings. Making excuses has become an occupation all it's own. It is bordering on the ridiculous. It is not my fault I got lung cancer, the cigarettes caused it. The fact that I smoked them is irrelevant ! When I took that first puff and choked and gagged, just a little bit, I thought that was a good thing, I just kept on doing it. Not my fault. I drank too much liquor and got sick. It was the fault of the alcohol. McDonalds gave me coffee that was too hot !
Now with this thing about professional sports teams having to educate their players about domestic violence. It has little to do with that issue and everything to do with the bottom line. It is costing the league money ! Can't have that now can we ? Millions of dollars are at stake. What to do,what to do ? Well ,we could say how appalled we are that domestic violence even exists in our world. Then, having made it clear to the public that we do not support that, we can include clauses in the contracts. If you are accused of that, immediate dismissal is the result, without the possibility of arbitration or appeal ! We will say that we will try harder in the future to prevent this sort of thing from happening. We will even throw a few bucks in that general direction.
Call me a skeptic if you will. Say I am jaded. Whatever. To me this whole debacle is just another example of shifting responsibility. You, and you alone are responsible for what you do ! The perpetuation of this twisted logic is just wrong. I hit my wife and it is the fault of my employer ? Yeah.