Choices and regrets. I believe we all have them. Choices made, even when proven correct do not always leave us feeling satisfied. Sometimes we have to live with second guesses. And in that lies the truth. The truth is often times we can do no more than guess. We can gather facts,measure our response to those facts and act upon our emotions. Even after all of that, it is a guess. The conundrum is wanting to guess gain.The time has passed and the choice was made but we are not convinced of the outcome. It is that hope for a different outcome that drives these thoughts.
There are days when we are reminded of choices made. Today is one of them for me. Today is a date forever etched in my memory. A date that perhaps didn't have to be, but for my choices. Oh, the analytic mind tells me that isn't so, my spirituality confirms that, but emotions are different things altogether. There is no explaining feelings. Feelings can envelop your mind and overtake you. It is those feelings that can take control and cause you to make other choices, other guesses, that are as equally unsettling. It is wise to guard against those types of feelings. I think the best way to deal with them is to acknowledge them. Being aware is to be forewarned. Isn't that the advice we are given ? No, the saying is forearmed is forewarned but I would say being aware is forearmed.
Sadness and doubt. These are emotional responses I have to this day. Sadness for what was lost. Doubt about the choices leading up to this date. It is almost as this happened in another world,another time and place. In a sense I would say that that is so. Years pass and the world turns on its' axis,unstopped,unrelenting and unapologetic. The merciless progression of time.
They say time heels all wounds but I do not think that is so. Time may cloud the memory, but not the hurt. The hurt I speak of lives in the recesses of my mind and shows itself in little unexpected ways. That is a good thing, a healthy thing, in that way I do not become overwhelmed. Learning to live with the memory is what heals.
I do not have any answers. I have made my choices. I have had to live with a certain amount of regret. I am not alone. There is a price to pay for everything. The only question remaining is; was it worth the price,where I am today ? Yes, I would have to say it was. There was some gain from all of this. In the big picture there was gain. It is a very difficult choice to make, the choice between emotion and a measured response to that emotion. The correct choice is not always the obvious choice, or the one that benefits ourselves. When regrets stems from what you may have denied yourself, those regrets are not justified. It is the overall effect of the choices you make that is the ultimate judge. Regret is the emotion, the choice is the action. The results are what is important. It is in that, that I find consolation. All is as it should be. I have made the choices and I believe I have done well. Have I passed the test ? Depends upon who is giving the exam. And with that I am lead to faith. Only memories remain. My faith tells me I will live with them again. The choices I make today will determine the outcome of tomorrow. I can only hope.
There are days when we are reminded of choices made. Today is one of them for me. Today is a date forever etched in my memory. A date that perhaps didn't have to be, but for my choices. Oh, the analytic mind tells me that isn't so, my spirituality confirms that, but emotions are different things altogether. There is no explaining feelings. Feelings can envelop your mind and overtake you. It is those feelings that can take control and cause you to make other choices, other guesses, that are as equally unsettling. It is wise to guard against those types of feelings. I think the best way to deal with them is to acknowledge them. Being aware is to be forewarned. Isn't that the advice we are given ? No, the saying is forearmed is forewarned but I would say being aware is forearmed.
Sadness and doubt. These are emotional responses I have to this day. Sadness for what was lost. Doubt about the choices leading up to this date. It is almost as this happened in another world,another time and place. In a sense I would say that that is so. Years pass and the world turns on its' axis,unstopped,unrelenting and unapologetic. The merciless progression of time.
They say time heels all wounds but I do not think that is so. Time may cloud the memory, but not the hurt. The hurt I speak of lives in the recesses of my mind and shows itself in little unexpected ways. That is a good thing, a healthy thing, in that way I do not become overwhelmed. Learning to live with the memory is what heals.
I do not have any answers. I have made my choices. I have had to live with a certain amount of regret. I am not alone. There is a price to pay for everything. The only question remaining is; was it worth the price,where I am today ? Yes, I would have to say it was. There was some gain from all of this. In the big picture there was gain. It is a very difficult choice to make, the choice between emotion and a measured response to that emotion. The correct choice is not always the obvious choice, or the one that benefits ourselves. When regrets stems from what you may have denied yourself, those regrets are not justified. It is the overall effect of the choices you make that is the ultimate judge. Regret is the emotion, the choice is the action. The results are what is important. It is in that, that I find consolation. All is as it should be. I have made the choices and I believe I have done well. Have I passed the test ? Depends upon who is giving the exam. And with that I am lead to faith. Only memories remain. My faith tells me I will live with them again. The choices I make today will determine the outcome of tomorrow. I can only hope.
- Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
- Man never is, but always to be blessed:
- The soul, uneasy and confined from home,
- Rests and expatiates in a life to come.
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