One of the most irritating things in life, to me, is the inability to adequately express a thought or concept that I have. To have another understand just what it is I am trying to say. When I fail to do that it often causes an argument. The more I try to explain, the worse it seems to get. I may get angry or just disgusted. There are times I just give up, dismiss the thought altogether. I walk away feeling, frustrated ! Discouraged is also an appropriate description of my feelings. Then I can't decide if I am discouraged by the others failure to understand, or my failure to explain.
The problem usually lies in the opening statement. The other person immediately infers something other than what it is I am trying to impart to them. Following that initial statement, the tone is set and there is no swaying them from their original interpretation . No matter how many different ways I express it, the meaning is lost. This happens with trivial matters as quickly as it does with things of more importance. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason behind it. That is where the irritation comes in. What part don't you understand ? The meaning is clear to me, what is wrong with you ? What is it that I am not hearing or saying ?
I will say that I enjoy a good debate. I like to discuss the issues. It is not that someone disagrees with me that is the cause of this problem. I don't have an issue with that. It is the failure to understand, on their part, that causes the irritation. I do understand that the other person may feel the same way about me. They heard what I said and it is perfectly clear to them. It sometimes takes me a little while to catch on to that concept. When I do, that is when I resign. It is at this point I know that further discussion is fruitless. It is best to just drop it and move on. That, I find, can be an uncomfortable time for both of us. The other person has to reach that understanding at the same time. That doesn't happen very often. The sudden need to use the restroom is a convenient excuse to leave the conversation. That, or the ever popular, it isn't important statement. At least that is usually the truth, it usually isn't very important. Sometimes I'll even just agree to defuse the situation. I confess to not doing that very often, the last word thing you know. It's a fault of mine.
There is one thing more puzzling. When you make a statement and the other person immediately rejects it. You are given no chance to explain what it is you where saying or allowed to expound upon it. They just start off telling you what they think and feel without any regard for you whatsoever. It is as if you just turned on a switch. And just as quickly, the discussion is over. Without so much as a, how do you do, it's over. Well, I just guess that is that ! What just happened here ? All I said was......
The problem usually lies in the opening statement. The other person immediately infers something other than what it is I am trying to impart to them. Following that initial statement, the tone is set and there is no swaying them from their original interpretation . No matter how many different ways I express it, the meaning is lost. This happens with trivial matters as quickly as it does with things of more importance. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason behind it. That is where the irritation comes in. What part don't you understand ? The meaning is clear to me, what is wrong with you ? What is it that I am not hearing or saying ?
I will say that I enjoy a good debate. I like to discuss the issues. It is not that someone disagrees with me that is the cause of this problem. I don't have an issue with that. It is the failure to understand, on their part, that causes the irritation. I do understand that the other person may feel the same way about me. They heard what I said and it is perfectly clear to them. It sometimes takes me a little while to catch on to that concept. When I do, that is when I resign. It is at this point I know that further discussion is fruitless. It is best to just drop it and move on. That, I find, can be an uncomfortable time for both of us. The other person has to reach that understanding at the same time. That doesn't happen very often. The sudden need to use the restroom is a convenient excuse to leave the conversation. That, or the ever popular, it isn't important statement. At least that is usually the truth, it usually isn't very important. Sometimes I'll even just agree to defuse the situation. I confess to not doing that very often, the last word thing you know. It's a fault of mine.
There is one thing more puzzling. When you make a statement and the other person immediately rejects it. You are given no chance to explain what it is you where saying or allowed to expound upon it. They just start off telling you what they think and feel without any regard for you whatsoever. It is as if you just turned on a switch. And just as quickly, the discussion is over. Without so much as a, how do you do, it's over. Well, I just guess that is that ! What just happened here ? All I said was......
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