I was thinking about how things change over time. When I was growing up family members saying " I love you " to one another was a rare occurrence. Normally that only happened in extreme situations such as serious injuries or maybe you were going away for an extended period of time. A male member of the family never said that to another male member ! A firm handshake was about as close as you came. There wasn't a lot of hugging and touching going on. It wasn't that there was a lack of love or affection, it just wasn't displayed as freely or openly as in today's world. I realize I can only speak from my perspective and yours may have been a different experience.
With my grandchildren it is the polar opposite. There are lots of I love yous' and hugging going on around here. No thought is given to any other way. The kids and Grandpa are as comfortable saying I love you to one another as an old couch. I would not hesitate a second to hold them, or take their hand as the mood struck me. It is this familiarity that raises a question. Do you think something can be repeated so often as to become insincere? That it becomes a reflex action or response ?
As a child, and to a lesser degree an adult, I was suspicious of anyone using those terms freely. Having not been subject to such displays of affection in my own home, others doing so made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I was confused as to how to react. Saying, I love you, was especially reserved. I was taught to not say that unless it was genuine and sincere. At least that was what I felt, whether that lesson was actually being taught or not.
I'm thinking this was all a part of the times and social attitudes. Men were supposed to be men and women ,women. Men were strong, stoic and determined. Women were prone to wearing their hearts on their sleeves and dependent upon their men. Although with the women that description was ambiguous. They could also be strong and as stoic as any man depending upon the situation. The roles are a bit more blurred today. One need only listen to the news to know that.
I do wonder if this new social attitude is a good thing. I'm wondering if it isn't somehow weakening our resolve. It is okay to just quit nowadays. It is okay for a man to show his emotions and act in an emotional manner. I would not advocate for a return to the old ways. There were injustices back then that needed rectified. I am just concerned that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. And what,you may ask, has this to do with me saying "I Love You to the grandchildren ?" I'm not really sure I can answer that question. It is more feeling than action. I am concerned for them. I want them to live a long and happy life. They need be prepared. Experiencing only love and acceptance is doing them an injustice. They must learn of disappointment, failure, and that there are those in this world that just don't like you. They should learn to be aware or to be wary. But perhaps that is not the role of the grandparent. Could be I'm just over thinking the whole deal. It is just having so much influence over these children is a big responsibility. I am acutely aware of that and tread lightly. That is probably why having children is for the young. Us senior people tend to dwell upon responsibility and the younger people just go with the flow. It is just the way it should be. The love for your grand children is a different love from all others. It is love with less responsibility. No,it's not ! What was I thinking ? Love and responsibility go hand in hand.
With my grandchildren it is the polar opposite. There are lots of I love yous' and hugging going on around here. No thought is given to any other way. The kids and Grandpa are as comfortable saying I love you to one another as an old couch. I would not hesitate a second to hold them, or take their hand as the mood struck me. It is this familiarity that raises a question. Do you think something can be repeated so often as to become insincere? That it becomes a reflex action or response ?
As a child, and to a lesser degree an adult, I was suspicious of anyone using those terms freely. Having not been subject to such displays of affection in my own home, others doing so made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I was confused as to how to react. Saying, I love you, was especially reserved. I was taught to not say that unless it was genuine and sincere. At least that was what I felt, whether that lesson was actually being taught or not.
I'm thinking this was all a part of the times and social attitudes. Men were supposed to be men and women ,women. Men were strong, stoic and determined. Women were prone to wearing their hearts on their sleeves and dependent upon their men. Although with the women that description was ambiguous. They could also be strong and as stoic as any man depending upon the situation. The roles are a bit more blurred today. One need only listen to the news to know that.
I do wonder if this new social attitude is a good thing. I'm wondering if it isn't somehow weakening our resolve. It is okay to just quit nowadays. It is okay for a man to show his emotions and act in an emotional manner. I would not advocate for a return to the old ways. There were injustices back then that needed rectified. I am just concerned that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. And what,you may ask, has this to do with me saying "I Love You to the grandchildren ?" I'm not really sure I can answer that question. It is more feeling than action. I am concerned for them. I want them to live a long and happy life. They need be prepared. Experiencing only love and acceptance is doing them an injustice. They must learn of disappointment, failure, and that there are those in this world that just don't like you. They should learn to be aware or to be wary. But perhaps that is not the role of the grandparent. Could be I'm just over thinking the whole deal. It is just having so much influence over these children is a big responsibility. I am acutely aware of that and tread lightly. That is probably why having children is for the young. Us senior people tend to dwell upon responsibility and the younger people just go with the flow. It is just the way it should be. The love for your grand children is a different love from all others. It is love with less responsibility. No,it's not ! What was I thinking ? Love and responsibility go hand in hand.
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