Returning Home

Over the past few years there has been much discussion of roots and home. Of native and foreigner. I have given it much thought. My conclusions are the same as always, mine. It is my feeling unless you were born there, and at least several preceding generations were born there, you are not native to the land. And you never will be. The land of our ancestors is the ground we were nurtured from and from that, the essence of our souls. That will not be changed by relocating. We will change and adapt to our environs, man has always done so, but the part of us that is inherent, remains unchanged.
Every so often I feel a pull. A desire to return to the place of my birth. Really it is just the desire to relive the past, something my conscious mind tells me is impossible. I will think about it and journey there in my daydreams. The weather is always perfect, the fish are biting and all my old friends are there. Everyone is fine and has had no sorrow in their life. I walk the same old streets and see the same old landscape. Unchanged from forty years ago. Then I wake up.
Over the last forty years or so I have walked upon much foreign soil. Made many brief stops along the way. A couple years here and a few years there. Eventually coming to rest where I am now. I live here as a foreigner in a foreign land. I have learned much of the local customs. I've adopted some of their speaking patterns and phraseology. I can sometimes pass as a local. Yet, I know my roots here are all on the surface. They have begun to spread and take hold. I am pleased.
Perhaps I am where I am for a reason. Perhaps my old soul could not have stood the changes. The roots of my upbringing reaching for new and vital nourishment. As my distant immigrant ancestors came searching for a new home and a new beginning so might have I. We are not always aware of history or moments as they occur. Sometimes only through reflection do we actually see.
The day will come when I return to my ancestors. Of that much I am certain. In that land there are no foreigners, only friends. The roots of my raising run deep in my soul. 

A simple thought

I have come to realize another thing about blog writing. My essays on life in you will. One reason I enjoy it so, is I'm not being interrupted. No thought is a simple thought and must be explained. Often times the explanation of thought is interrupted by another's question, comment or rejection of the idea altogether.
Most of the time in general conversation that is not an issue, but when really discussing something it can be problematic. Please let me finish my thought before interjecting your own. I'm sure we have all felt this way on one occasion or another. I wasn't finished with my thought !
Now I know that can be my own fault. Perhaps I am not being concise enough or clear enough in my explanation. Brevity in conversation can be a blessing. I am no different from most, I do tend to go on about things that interest me or I find important. And so I have found an outlet. I can now fully explore whatever thought I have, uninterrupted. The only drawback being, someone has to actually read them. I do have  small readership and I appreciate that. Yes, it would be great if the entire world would just listen to me, but that's not gonna happen. I'll live with it.
Today's thought is, there is no simple thought. All of our thoughts come from our experiences in life. The older we become the more complicated the thought process. More data to analyze. It may take a little time for me to sift through that data. The speed of the processor may also be affected by someone interrupting the process. The trick is to not become bogged down by it all. Back to the brevity aspect. We have all been told at some point in our lives to think before you speak. Good advice. Everything seems to be much faster nowadays. Perhaps if we just slowed down a bit we could avoid some of these misunderstandings and mishaps along the way. Pause, give the person time to complete their thought. And more importantly don't interject your own without thinking about what it is. Thinking out loud is often not a good thing, at least not to those around you. They may not process the data the same as you. Maybe there should be a rule about it. No speaking, or replying to being spoken to, without a minimum of a ten second pause. Now there is a simple thought..

Election Time

My grandson is going to make a run for election. Student council. I couldn't be happier. I just think it is a wonderful thing. He has set a goal and is going for it. His sister has agreed to help with the campaign posters.
The rules clearly state, no electronic devices or social media are to be used in the campaign. Posters,flyers and good old word of mouth. I think Dad will secretly be the campaign manager.
The election itself is based on a four part process. The popular vote, an essay, an interview and teacher selection. Mark has already anaylized his chances. Not wildly popular with the electorate he has decided to run upon his merits. A wise decision. And I must say he has a strong foundation in that area. He is active in many programs over a broad spectrum. A memeber of the youth group at his church, the youngest active member of the Greensboro chapter of the Caroline County Historical society, was nominated for and attended The National Youth Leadership program in Washington,D.C. An honors student and participants in baseball and soccer.
It is an exciting time around my house. I can't wait to see his posters and read his essay. I, too am anxious about the election. I think he has an excellant chance of winning. All the credentials are in place. Marks Dad, you may recall, is one of the Commisioners of Greensboro. So I am hopeful for Mark to continue that legacy of service to the community. I'll keep you posted.

The plain truth

Why is common sense becoming so uncommon ? Could it be all our advances in technology and strides in education are costing us the basic skill of common sense ? Are we simply over thinking and over analyzing everything ? I know I'm not the first to notice this trend nor the first to speak of it. The question is what can be done about it ? Recently I've seen a bumper sticker or poster saying, " you can't fix stupid." I can understand the truth in that statement but at least their is hope for some education. A lack of common sense however, is a different thing altogether. A lot of those lacking that skill have a great deal of education. It is a quandary.
The trend seems to be for every bad behavior, bad decision or inappropriate action there is a therapist or a medication. Watch an episode of the Dr. Phil show and you'll see what I mean. My wife enjoys this show, and like watching a train wreck, I just get drawn into it. I really don't want to watch but I find myself watching. Guess that is the appeal . At any rate, the good doctor always has an explanation for the behavior in question. The cure usually involves being sent to some center or another. Therapy. Most times a diagnosis of some kind of disorder. DR. Phil never actually works with them, he just sends them to the appropriate center. Never have I heard him just tell someone the simple unvarnished truth, you're an idiot !
Never had I heard him give the advice that some of these misguided individuals really need. You made your bed, now sleep in it ! Or, you will be held accountable for your actions and not be coddled or appeased with medications. No one is going to give you anything that you haven't earned. That includes respect.
My view is that most of these people just want attention. Like a child that cries, they have learned this. The more you pay attention to it, the more they continue. Simple. Common sense. No phd required to figure that out. My advice to them is also simple, be careful the attention you draw to yourself, it can be harmful as easily as helpful.
Yup, I believe in the old tried and true. Tough Love. I'll help you, I'll offer advice and share the benefits of my life experience with you. In the end however it is your choice to make. Your experience to live. You are accountable. Help will be forthcoming when it is necessary but not until you have tried to help yourself. The simple continuance of a behavior is not justification for a diagnosis of an illness. Sometimes,it is just a simple lack of common sense.

Who are you

I admit I'm terrible with names and faces. Unless I see that person on a regular basis my memory can be a bit sketchy. Working in the grocery store and meeting with the public this can be a bit awkward. I often have people speaking to me and I get a sense that they feel they know me,and I have no recollection of them. More importantly I get a feeling they think I should remember them. That is when it gets a little awkward.
Usually I can get by with a smile and just agreeing with whatever they say. People, being human, love being right. At other times though it gets a little sticky. If they start mentioning my grand kids I have to quickly try to figure what sport or activity they may be associated with. Soccer mom or dance Mom ?
I find the best strategy for me is to try to keep the encounter brief and jovial. Attempt to make them do all the talking and listen for clues. I do hope that I don't come of as rude or brusque at times. Occasionally I put my foot in my mouth and say something from out in left field. That happens when I think I know this person and don't. Oh, I hate it when that happens. I either place them with the wrong children or the wrong sport. I may even have forgotten you if I haven't seen you in a long time. IE: Old co-workers. If I didn't work with you personally and you just worked at the same place I did, I may have forgotten who you are. Nothing personal about it, it is just the way I am.
I am fortunate in that I have no trouble meeting and speaking to strangers. I can converse with anyone about just about anything you would care to discuss. There is a term for that ability and it is not very flattering. I'm aware of that and have learned to live with it. Turn your flaws into abilities and exploit them. That ability has served me well over the years. It is a skill I learned as a child, I grew up around some highly skilled communicators !
I do wish I was better at remembering names and faces. It would make things a little easier. When I come home and try to tell my wife about it,it turns into a guessing game. I try to describe the person and she guesses who I'm talking about. I'm betting some would be offended by the description used to identify them. And it is not always a physical description. Manner of speech or certain character traits will often do it. But then it is what it is. I'm not overly concerned because I've always been this way so it is not early onset of Alzheimer. Not unless it started real early. So on the bright side if that does happen no one will notice. LOL
If I don't place you right away please don't be hurt. It is that way with everyone.

Two Cents Worth

Just a short observation. I heard on the news that the Chinese company that makes the Apple I-phone had a small riot. The workers were protesting the working conditions. They are back to work now, after only one day. Guess the Chinese have great negotiating skills. All the while this is happening Americans are lined up trying to buy this I phone. I'm not hearing any complaints about Apple exploiting foreign workers or civil rights violations in China. That doesn't seem to bother too many people. Yet when Chic Fil-A comes out in support of traditional marriage a huge response. Boycotts and threats to not allow the restaurants in some cities. Although there was no evidence that Chic Fil-A discriminated against anyone in anyway. It is just me or does that seem a bit jaded ? We can do without fried chicken but we need I phones, at any cost.
I have only one thing to say. If you talk the talk you had better be ready to walk the walk. In your liberal minded principles you must be equal in your justice or injustice. No changing your ground whenever it suits.
                                                           JUST SAYIN'

Directions

Along with my blogging I also enjoy writing a poem or two. I have a special little book where I record them. I write each one in my own handwriting ( printing really ) date and sign them. It is my hope that one of the grandchildren will save this book and become the caretaker of my thoughts. It is my hope that future generations of Reicharts will get some enjoyment from them. A piece of me living on.
I have reflected upon similar thoughts in the past. How it is so much easier today to record and preserve our thoughts and our images. Not just the wealthy class but the common fellow too. Was a time when only those that could afford to have their picture painted had their likeness saved. Was a time when only a few were even literate. And now, look at how far we have come. I wonder though with it being so commonplace and blase how much will remain ? Often we begin to take things for granted. How many old home movies have been lost over the years ? How many CD'S destroyed or erased ? That is one reason I have gone with the low tech approach. Handwritten manuscripts usually get saved. Sometimes even the most trivial of things. Greeting cards, letters to loved ones and childrens' school work. I know I have some of all of those things. A postcard from 1936 to my Great Grandfather. Some handwritten notes from Grandma. None are great literary works but all are priceless to me. Would I feel the same connection if I was viewing them on CD or flash drive ? Probably not. Watching a movie of them and hearing their voices would be a cool thing. That is something I haven't given much thought to. I have heard of people recording their life story for future generations. The question their would be, when to start or stop. Also I think that may prove to be a it morbid. My life has not been lived according to a script and so I don't think I could record it either. I'm thinking it would have to more a catch as catch can sort of thing. Assembled by someone else. It is scary to have to trust your legacy to another but a necessity for clarity of emotion.
We all have something to leave behind . Something that defines us. Perhaps it is a craft, maybe writing or music. Some just leave a vacuum in our hearts. But we are all here for a reason. We don't need to know the reason, that is not important. What is important is how we affect those around us. Concentrate on that and everything will work out just fine. Jot down a few notes along the way, they may come in handy for someone down the road.

Moments

Small moments in life often create large memories. Looking back over the years I can recall many of these. Most would have no meaning to any one else. Just a moment in time. However, in my mind and feelings these moments are often relived. These are the moments when I felt special or somehow especially blessed. Some of those moments are just selfish moments. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I think we all have them.

I remember one year at the Christmas program in church I was selected to read a certain passage. I was nervous but stood behind that large Bible on it's ornate stand. Locating chapter and verse I began to read. The congregation was silent, listening to my every word. I made it through the passage without fault. I felt the oratory was excellent. Following the service I did receive a few compliments. That was a small moment in time. Somehow that experience has remained with me. 

Over the years other moments stand out. Times I was able to help another or offer comfort. Times I was recognized. I think we all want those times but never know when they might occur. Spontaneous is the only way to describe it. Some will gain their fifteen minutes of fame, others will just get their fifteen minutes a few moments at a time. 

I think we all have our moments. I believe we are placed in those moments by a higher power. We respond to those moments according to the plan. That is the spontaneity. All things for a greater purpose. There are no trivial moments in life. As we age I think we become aware of that. And for at least some of us, that gives us a sense of urgency. Not a sense of haste, that is something different. No, a sense of urgency to enjoy those moments in life to the fullest. To savor them and look for them. That is what reminiscing is all about. Recovering forgotten moments in time. You can not plan these moments. All one can do is live them. Live for the positive and reject the negative. Bright moments exist everywhere and occur every day.   

A decade of Love

A decade has passed since the birth of my grand daughter Morgan. She informs me she is now double digits ! I sit and wonder how that can be. I remember each holiday and milestone in her life. I was with her when she took her first steps. In fact I was there when he stood upright for the very first time. I made her a certificate celebrating that very occasion. I've watched her grow from Barney to Justin Bieber.
What a wonderful decade it has been. She has been growing and getting older, all the while keeping me younger ! Now that is a win,win situation.
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and trick or treating. Birthday cakes and sleepovers. And asking Grandpa to brush her hair. Life doesn't get much sweeter than that. Those bright eyes, loving smile and laughter. And now I face a new decade. The decade of awakening. Not looking forward to that. The time of teenage angst and heartbreak. I know what awaits and wish she could just bypass all that. Or at the very least skip over the bad parts.
There is nothing to do but join her on her journey. I hope she brings Grandpa along.

That's my Girl !

Problem Solved

I've noticed what appears to be a trend. When a law or issue gets to be difficult, or uncomfortable, to enforce, we just legalize it. Oh, the lawmakers will explain how this should be legalized and cite many reasons why this is so. Popular among the excuses are, the cost of enforcement, that it isn't really a crime, we should be taxing it and we have been infringing on certain groups rights. I find this trend somewhat disturbing.
It is insidious in its' nature. I see it slowly eroding our values.
One issue, although not the latest, is the legalization of Marijuana. The general thinking now is that this drug is no worse than alcohol, it has legitimate health benefits, it is not really a crime, we should just tax it's sale, and it would relieve crowding in the jails and legal system. All valid arguments for an immediate response but certainly not a solution to the central issue. And what is the central issue ? This activity was made illegal for a variety of valid reasons. Central to those issues was the belief that using this drug altered your perception of reality, much like being drunk, and posed a risk to the general public. How has that changed ? We legalized alcohol, how has that been working out ? We don't have a problem with people using that drug and endangering public safety do we ? Making another substance readily available for consumption shouldn't add to that. And even if it does we will just start some 12 step program for recovery. It's cool. To me the arguments just don't hold water.
That is just one example. Another is this notion of amnesty. We have possibly over a million or more people in our country illegally. Enforcement of the law is difficult and a touchy subject. Solution, amnesty. Just make it no longer a crime. If you have managed to circumvent our laws and evade detection, especially for an extended period of time, we'll forgive you. No problem. Those pesky issues of enforcement swept under the rug.
Gambling, the same way. We will just build more casinos. State lotteries. Can a federal lottery be far behind ? More importantly, we can tax all these activities. And there is the root of the question. Money. We can justify our actions with every moral and ethical argument you can imagine. The bottom line is always money. Tax It !
Do we really want to base our economy on gambling, drug sales, tobacco taxes and a host of other vices ?
Is that what we want America to stand for ? The land of the free as long as it can be taxed ? Just seems like that is the trend I'm seeing. Law enforcement and social issues dealt with only when it is convenient or a possible revenue source ?
I could go on but hopefully you begin to see my point here. Cut through the talk and double talk and you can see. If enforcement becomes too difficult or unpopular, legalize that activity. Problem solved.

Talking about it

It seems to me in today's world we are getting caught up discussing the minutia of life. Each and every little detail and nuance. I find it taxing and wearing. I have become weary of it all. A little less talk and a little more doing, please ! It is far better to do have done something wrong, than to have done nothing at all.
I wonder if this is a reaction to all the lawsuits being filed. Are we becoming so concerned with correctness that we are getting nothing done ? Or is it something else ? Are we just becoming lazy ? As long as we talk about what we plan to do, we think we are doing something. Is it that it makes us feel important ?
We have all heard it said, " fools rush in where wise men fear to tread. " There is a certain amount of logic in that statement." I can't disagree with the wisdom. But on the other hand, I had a neighbor that said to me, understanding it isn't doing it, doing it is doing it. Can't argue with that homespun logic either.
This disease of inaction needs to be reversed. It has spread to all levels. Look at Congress for an example. How much are they getting done ? No one wants to make a decision. Few want to make the stand. It seems to me those that take a stand today, stand a good chance of being ridiculed. Unless that stand is in agreement with the vast majority of public opinion, look out ! So it is far easier to just keep talking ( in discussions ) and blame others for the inaction. We form focus groups to study the issue. Polls are taken. Statistics gathered and analyzed. And then we form a committee, because when committees make a decision no one person has to bear the blame. We take a secret ballot to protect ourselves.
Please, just get the facts, make a choice and go with it ! Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. Be bold in your actions or languish in obscurity. Your choice. Think about it and talk some more.

Threads from the past

Writing yesterdays post my mind wandered into thoughts of the past. After posting it, it occurred to me that, "the threads of the past, form the fabric of the future." I'm not sure if I just like the sound of the phrase or if I understand exactly what that means, but you can quote me on that.
 Our future is influenced by the past. How could it not be ? Our early years we do nothing but imitate our elders. We instinctively adopt their behaviors and attitudes. It is only later in life, we begin to form our own opinions. Our personalities begin to be influenced by others. Their past has influenced them. They were in turn influenced by their elders. And so the past moves forward.
We should all live with an awareness of the past. The possible benefits are self explanatory. On some level there may be no benefit at all. The past may in fact be contradictory to the present. All in all though, self reflection and the stories of the past can be useful guidelines. An explanation of the present. Sometimes an explanation is all that is required. Putting something to rest. If nothing more an awareness that the path you are walking has been walked before, is somehow comforting. As humans, we don't like to be alone. Few choices have not already been chosen. Only the circumstance change.
On a personal level I find demystifying the past and finding it's relevance to today, specifically to me, a fascinating thing. All those that have gone before us have left some threads. Follow those threads and you may unravel some of the future. I find some sense in it all. Some threads just lead to a simple answer and others may lead to more threads. Questions answered and some asked.
One should remember that the future is always just ahead. It is not ten years from now,ten minutes from now or ten seconds from now. Remembering the threads of yesterday could prevent a snag today.

What's in a picture

left to right: Millie Reichart, My Mom holding me, Uncle Ben, friend Annie

I received some old photographs from my mother today. In them was a picture of a man I only remember from hearing his name. This man was named Austin Bennett. In family history and lore he was a friend and mentor to my Grandfather. When I first started working on my family tree this man and his story provided a clue. You see, my grandfather passed away when my Dad was only eight years old. I didn't know much about him. My own father rarely spoke of him. I did remember Dad telling me he had lived in Greenport, New York at one time. I checked the census records and found him living there. Looking at the neighbors there was that name, Austin Bennett. So, they had lived on the same street. That led credence to the stories I had heard. The story was that they were such close friends that my father got his name from that man. My father is Austin Bennett Reichart. His father was Elwood. Grandfather Elwood had two sons. His first born carried his name but his second born,my father, carried the name of this friend. Over the years I have discovered more pieces to the story. I had heard my mother and father speak of this man they called Uncle Ben. It was from that,that my own father was always called Ben instead of Austin. Looking at old records I discovered his full name to be, Austin Benjamin Bennett Jr. I can imagine these two friends and confidants working together and sharing good times. My Grandmother Clara passes a day after giving birth to little Ben. Grandfather Elwood is naturally heartbroken. His two boys one just over a year old and the other a new born go to live with their maternal Grandparents. Three years pass and he remarries. The boys stay with the grandparents. Grandfather Elwood has two other boys with his second wife. Tragically he dies of a ruptured appendix on a trip to Florida. My father is eight years old.
The  years pass but Uncle Ben still comes to visit. Then somewhere long about 1956 or so he is visiting once again, standing beside my mother, who is holding me in her arms. Austin Benjamin Bennett, Jr and Austin Bennett Reichart, Jr. Austin Benjamin Bennett, Jr never married as far as I have been able to determine. He had no children. Myself, Austin Bennett Reichart,Jr never named a son the third.
So, there is quite a story behind a name. Some mysteries have been solved. Uncle Ben passed away in 1971 in Palm Beach Florida. That is where my Grandfather Elwood, his friend also passed all those years ago. A circle completed. 

Paths not taken

The path not taken. Don't we all think think about that ? The what if's in life. Most were our own choices. Decisions we made. But what of those we were directed away from ? Those paths we were not told not to take or at the very least discouraged from taking. A lack of encouragement or arguments against that choice.

I suppose the classic example would be the starving artist. Laboring for his love of art, struggling for his very existence. There is no denying the talent but is it a reasonable choice ? Is that person a good enough artist ? Does it matter ? It matters only as far as the person being able to survive in the world. Money. That is what is needed. Remove that from the equation and we could all just spend our time pursuing our own dreams. We could follow each and every path we encounter. Would that be a good thing ? I'm not so sure about that. Time is a precious commodity and shouldn't be wasted. Then, one could argue that pursuing happiness is never a waste of time, if the motivation of that pursuit is pure. 

Is there blame to be placed for paths not taken ? Would you have gone a different way if encouraged to do so ? I'm not talking about in retrospect, I mean then. If the decision was left to just your own instinct and feeling, would it have been different ? That is the central question here. Each person we encounter can be a signpost. Social attitudes can be a guide. Both may be a force to influence your decisions. How much that influence directed your path is an answer only you can know. That is a measure of your personality. 

I enjoy taking these little flights of what if. In the world of what if, it always works out for the best. Not much sense in imagining a future of failure. Unanswered questions and speculation. Hope. 

What if you had been supported in every choice you made ?   

More than blood

Children and Grand children. I have been fortunate to have both. I was reminded of this by a fellow blogger and friend. As I looked at the photo of her holding her newest grandchild and seeing the joy in her eyes, I knew. I knew the happiness she felt. I remarked to her how fortunate she was to hold her legacy in her hands and her heart. That also applies to me. It applies to anyone that has ever known the love of a child.
For that love is the purest form of love. Unconditional,unbiased and unashamed. I think that is the joy we feel. That purity of spirit transcends time and the prejudices of man. What a wonderful thing,new life. A promise. Another beginning.
Raising children. An interesting phrase. I think of it more as participating in the future. I can choose the amount of participation. With my own children I perhaps didn't get to participate as much as I would have liked. My career often kept me away. My youth and general inexperience in life also contributed to that. That was all years ago, before the grandchildren. They provided me with a second chance. A new beginning if you will. I haven't missed any chances to participate this time around !
I have noticed that raising grandchildren is quite a bit different. First off, it is not 24/7. That's a blessing in itself. LOL. Secondly, you have someone else to blame. That's another plus. And lastly I find I have a lot more time I'm willing to invest in them. That comes with age. The wisdom to know that their needs are more important than your own. Either that or I've finally come to realize I have a captive audience for my stories and they are easily bribed.
The thing is though whether those children are of your blood or not makes no difference whatsoever. That is where the purity of love comes in. Stepchildren,adopted children,birth children or just children in general. All are the same. Children are the future. When we get the chance to hold that future in our hands that is a gift. When we have the chance to guide that future, it is a responsibility. It should also be a joy. Children are more than your blood, children are the blood of mankind. The manner in which they are raised and the principles taught them are what you can expect in the future. That is the responsibility I speak of. The joy comes from having the chance to participate in that future. Your thoughts,your principles and values being carried forward. Your legacy.
Isn't it funny how a picture can stir up such thoughts ? Worth a thousand words. This is no where near a thousand, but it is a start. 

Happiness and Contentment

Contentment and happiness. One and the same. If I'm contented with my situation in life, I am also happy. There are those that will try to destroy that happiness, whether by design or unwittingly, by insisting I should want more. Either I should want more money, more property, better health or some other thing. Every day we are bombarded by that concept in advertisements. We need this or that to make us happy. And if we are not striving toward those acquisitions we are not living up to our potential. It starts when we are very young and doesn't relent under we are very old. And even that time frame has been moved onward in these later years. Witness all the Senior products being advertised. Are we being set up for depression ?
Is it ever alright to just be content with what we already have ? Or, does that make me lazy or a never do well ? Lacking ambition ? Shouldn't I be happier ? It is a delicate balance, is it not ? The drive to improve oneself or improve the general condition of man is a noble cause. When do we become consumed by that cause ?
Fulfillment. That is the answer. When you have fulfilled your basic needs and desires then you can become content. You are the only person that can decide that. No matter what others would tell you, that is the answer. Some require a lot more than others to find that place. Each one of us would argue that we know the answer. It is not so, however. I can not truly know that about you. Even with your spouse or closest friends you can not know. It is very difficult to even know that about yourself ! Should I ever feel content ? Is that acceptable ? Under what conditions ?
There is a guilt instilled in us. We should always be striving to improve. Don't rest upon your laurels. If you have achieved material success in the world, you are obligated to share that. All the good people do. Do not be so concerned with your own happiness, that is a selfish gain. Share in everything. There are books written about this subject and religions based upon finding happiness and contentment. I say use them as a guide but only you know the final destination.
Happiness and contentment are fragile things. If you have them, protect them. Protect them with the same zeal you used to obtain them. As for me, I'm content in believing I have thus far made a positive contribution to society as a whole. Do I want more ? Sure, it is instilled in me. I have learned however, to be happy with the gifts I have been given. Yes, there are still obstacles before me. I will continue on. There are many things that make me happy. When am I the happiest ? When I allow myself to just rest upon my laurels and feel good about myself. Not basking in vanity or bragging about them. Just between myself and my God. That's happiness and contentment. 

Traditional Cooking

I saw a request for a " traditional " recipe the other day. An old fashioned recipe for a particular place. I immediately responded with my recipe. Then I read a few others. All came from those native to this particular area the recipe was requested for. Problem lies in that all our " traditions " are not exactly the same. My second thought is what this person really wanted was their Mothers recipe. the old saying, Moms' cooking is home cookin', comes to mind. Ok, maybe that's not an old saying I just made it up, but you know what I mean. Everyone thinks their recipe is the one. And it is, for them.
I am not what you would call a good cook. I can cook edible dishes and a few that are excellent but on the whole, I'm not a cook. I didn't pay close attention to how Mom prepared our food. I didn't even pay particular attention to what was being served. If it tasted good that's was all that was necessary. Growing up our food was basic and standard fare for the time and place. Growing up near the water seafood played a large part and potatoes were grown there. That combination showed up a lot on the dinner table. Not a lot of wild game made it to our table. It was more of a novelty to us than a staple. Meals were not a big deal at my house. You knew what time dinner was. If you didn't show up, you didn't eat. I don't recall any big discussions taking place at the dinner table. You ate, and then you were done eating. Simple as that.
Did we eat traditional meals ? Depends on whose traditions you're talking about. I would say we generally all started with the same basic ingredients. It was the subtle differences in preparation that gave the food the " traditional " taste. And I think it is that taste we  try to imitate. But there is no cooking like home cooking. And like I said, home cooking is Moms' cooking. And as my wife is quick to point out, She ain't my mother ! I must admit I really do like my wife's cooking and that cooking is the " tradition " for my kids.
 

Interrupted

I awoke the other day to issues with the internet. Nothing wrong on my end, but due to planned maintenance on their end, they were, unable to restore your service at this time. Please call 1-800-Comcast for assistance ! Arrg ! Not the dreaded call them message. This isn't going to be easy. Let me begin by saying, I am an American, I live in America, in an American town, with all my billing sent in the English language. I want to speak to someone in ENGLISH, please. Now, with that out of the way could we also dispense with all the, do I want to purchase this or upgrade to that nonsense. I'll be perfectly happy if you can just restore my service, that I already paid for ! Almost two days later and they discover, what a surprise, there was an error on their part. There was no physical damage to the system, no hardware or software problem, nothing wrong at all in fact except they made a mistake. " Sorry ". Will I be given credit for the time I lost ? Nope. So now I'm ripped off for two days service. Guess I'll only be getting 28 days this billing cycle. Oh well, pretend it is February I suppose. Funny how that works out isn't it ?  Doesn't work the other way around though.

I'm back online and although somewhat disgruntled, happy to have my service back. I think they count on that too. That is why the whole process of dealing with them is so frustrating. All part of the plan. To get you so mad and frustrated that when they finally get around to actually helping you, you are just grateful the experience is over. Like going to the dentist. Necessary, but what a relief when that is over ! 

Now, just what was I thinking about a couple days ago when I was going to write my blog ? 

Grandparents Day

Yesterday was Grandparents day. I got to wondering just when this holiday began. Googled it.
The short answer was 1978. Jimmy Carter signed it into law. The first Sunday following labor day is to be Grandparents Day. Who knew ? I thought it was just a Hallmark thing. No, as it turns out their is a National Grandparents Council and an official song. A gentleman named Johnny Prill, a songwriter by trade, composed the tune and lyrics to " A song for Grandma and Grandpa. " Turns out he won a national songwriters award for it ! So this is an official holiday according to the United States government.
And so now I know something of the history of Grandparents day.
More importantly however my Grandchildren that live here in town came over for a short visit.We had to be out of town most of the day and it was a disappointment to them. They had both walked over to our place, anticipating surprising us, only to discover we were not at home. An unusual thing for us on a Sunday morning. Plus, the kids are so much a part of our daily lives, it is seldom they wouldn't have known our plans. Truth is, they did know but had forgotten in their excitement. They had each made us gifts and cards. They had worked hard and long putting together items they figured we would both enjoy. Much thought had been placed into the items. Turns out they waited all day for our return. As soon as they knew we were home they dashed over ! Their excitement was evident as they proudly presented us with our gifts. We were both nearly overcome with emotion. The love those children showed us was staggering. It is more than a love, it is a responsibility. To have those children place that much love in us is such a blessing.
Yes, the cards and gifts were lovely. The ship Mark built for me has been placed in a place of honor and the refrigerator is decorated with the pictures and frames that Morgan made. Along with an Apple decorated banner. ( matches the apple theme decor of Grandmas' kitchen ). Our hearts and our home are filled with love. It was the best, Grandparents Day ever.

In the Air

Today was the first day I noticed how brown the corn has become. I've seen the fall grass coming in for a few weeks now. And the trees are getting a hint of color. All the signs of fall are beginning to appear. You always know it is coming, yet it is always a surprise. Funny how our minds work like that.
A cold front moved through yesterday and with it the accompanying storms.Luckily for us, nothing too serious. The evening air is cooler now. The crickets have fallen silent. The air conditioner has been turned off and the windows thrown open. I just love feeling a cool breeze in the early evening.
Can the smell of burning leaves be far off ? Warm apple cider and a bowl of chili. Homemade bread. Sweaters and jackets. Fall is in the air ! Pumpkins. And the holidays loom large. Anticipation. Can that word sum up fall ? For some it certainly can. For me, Fall is resting. Resting after the summer and before the harshness of winter. A time to relax just a bit. Enjoy mother nature in her full glory of dress and the bounty she has provided. That,to me, is Fall.

Layaway

We have all heard of the empty nest syndrome. I can't honestly say I've ever experienced that. Oh, I had children alright, but I was gone from home most of their juvenile lives. When they left to embark on their own life journey, I bid them farewell and good luck. I missed having them around but can't say I felt any anxiety. Life goes on and so it has. The grand kids came along and I am fortunate to have at least some of them right here with me. The grand daughter that lives in New York I see rarely, but think of her daily. Maybe having those children right here has spared me from the empty nest thing. Believe me, the nest has been full ! And I wouldn't want it any other way.
As I was sitting here at my computer, bored, I began looking around. My wife has been rearranging the furniture, as women are apt to do, and so I began noticing things again. You know how after things have been in a certain spot for a period of time they begin to blend in ? Doesn't matter if it is pictures, knick knacks, or books on shelves. They all become part of the homescape. Can't say landscape, I live indoors. Then another thought occurred to me. One of those random thoughts. As I looked at some of the objects I have around me I wondered if I was feathering my nest ? The things I have surrounding me are all familiar and comforting in some fashion. Even the latest things added to the decor. Old photographs and objects brought down from the attic. Men tend to leave things alone, I think. At least I do. I resist changes in my environment. My wife will tell you it is because I'm too lazy to help move the furniture, but that is not the case. ( That's my story )
No, I think women inherently want new and different things. They like changes. One of the things that make them different from men. Maybe is it related somehow to having children. New life, and bringing in something new. I don't know. In my experience women never lose this desire, even after they " change ". But now I'm venturing into dangerous ground so think I'll leave this track. With age comes some measure of wisdom.
On another level though maybe it has nothing to do with all that. Maybe it has to do with aging. As we age we discover what is most important in life. It is not the possessions we have, but rather love and memories shared. You can't buy that at Staples. Could be that is why I have begun bringing those objects out of the dark corners and the dust of the attic. I have just had those objects on layaway. The time has come to retrieve them. Payment has been made.
In my younger years I put those items away. They had lost their immediate appeal. And isn't that the way it is in our youth ? We want everything and we want it now. How quickly we become bored and complacent with those things. If we are lucky, we have the forethought to store them. To just put them on layaway. Years go by and through the travails of life we pay our dues. At some point we begin to withdraw those things. To bring them out and enjoy them for what they really are. A part of the past, a part of our lives. In the end we get the greatest enjoyment from these things. We extract the memories and love held within them. Treasured objects and reminders. 

Unchanged

I went to back to school night with my grand daughter. The annual meet the teacher and look at my desk routine. She is already in fourth grade, so it won't be much longer before this ritual will be part of the past. I have become quite familiar with the elementary school over the years. I know the location of everything and most of the teachers. I know where the media center is. I still call it the library. The cafeteria is much the same as the one I remember from my own school days. This one does have the stage on one end. And of course the gym. They have a nice little playground with all the usual equipment, swings, a jungle gym and monkey bars.
This year in Morgans' classroom they have the new " smartboard " system. This device takes the place of the chalkboard. A marvel of technology. I asked her teacher for a demonstration of its' capabilities and I admit I was impressed. Run from her laptop I could see where this tool could provide a rich experience to the classroom. With a touch of her finger the teacher can connect to the internet and Google. From there all things are accessible. No question unanswered. Pictures of the students can be displayed and nothing gets children attention more than seeing things about themselves. Well, not just children like that.
No more chalkboard. That object is fast becoming a relic of the past. The dry erase board had a short lived career. Now this smart board has burst upon the scene. It looks like an overhead projector on steroids to me. Somehow a little imposing and almost intimidating in its' appearance. I tried to imagine what could be next. Will we soon have desks that interface with the smart board ? The students interacting via keyboard or touch screen ? I'm sure it is possible right now and only cost being a prohibiting factor.
All this modern technology is a sight to behold for us Grand parents. I have bemoaned the loss of the chalk board relating how we used to clap the erasers. Ask any elementary student today to clap the erasers and see what response you get. Progress I suppose as I am told chalk dust is hazardous. Time and technology advances. But I did note one thing that I am glad to see unchanged. Hanging there proudly, just to the right of that smart board, was the American flag. At the beginning of the back to school night the principle of the school came on the public address system. " Let us pause and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. "  I looked at the students in attendance, their hands placed over their hearts as they recited the Pledge. Now that is one thing I hope never changes in Greensboro Elementary. I hear it has in others and that is sad. May Greensboro Elementary continue this tradition forever.

I Pledge Allegiance

I didn't know

Football season has begun. OK, not real excited about it, but I can watch it. I prefer baseball and even with that I am what you would call a casual fan. Just not terribly into sports I guess. At any rate, at some point during all the pre-game hoopla there was some discussion about the safety of the game. It was mentioned that some studies indicate there could be long term effects from playing this game. Brain damage and a host of neurological diseases. Several retired players have filed a lawsuit alleging the NFL didn't inform them of this possible damage and didn't do enough to protect them.
Let's look at this in a different light. The majority of these players are college graduates. I think that is a fair statement. And these graduates didn't figure having other 250 to 300 pound professional athletes continuously slamming into you could cause permanent damage. They figure someone should have told them. And being issued various pads and a crash helmet wasn't an indicator of possible injury. More should have done to protect them. Like what, exactly ? Go to playing flag football ?
Look it is a sad and tragic thing that they should suffer bad effects later in life. We all agree on that. It is just that I get annoyed when professional athletes or professionals of any kind want to feign such ignorance. If I choose to drive racing cars whose fault is it if I crash ? When I get injured whose fault is that ? It just seems to me they don't mind demanding six figure salaries when playing the game. They certainly don't seem concerned about their future health then. A lot of regular every day workers in this country suffer long term effects from their occupation. The occupational health and safety administration is there to protect them. And if you have ever dealt with them you know how that can be. Might be a safer approach but less effective in terms of results. People make choices about that every day. Doesn't mean I should try to sue the employer.

The Squirrels

The soccer season began here in Caroline County. My grandsons' team had their first contest last night. They battled to a tie. It was a good clean game, well played, with it's moments of drama. The score was tied within the last ten seconds ! A relief for the opposition but a disappointment for our team. But, it is not a loss.
I have watched with interest each year as the team forms and practice begins. Some of the players have been together since the beginning and others have been fitted in as the need arose. My son is the towns soccer representative and is responsible for the team rosters. It is a lot more complicated than one would initially think. Attempting to balance the available talent between teams while dealing with personal preferences ( the parents ) can cause for some stress. Each year is filled with optimism. We can do this !
I have been watching the progress of the kids. They are learning to play as a team now. That is a big milestone. Learning how to play as a team and not as an individual is a definite sign of increased maturity. Next comes dealing with ego. Some children are naturally going to be more talented than others, keeping that in check is always a challenge. There are those that never get past it. Even the pros !
I find it somewhat surprising how I have come to view the seasons. I guess with age one does gain perspective. ( Hopefully ) I find myself watching more of the dynamics involved in the game than the actual game itself. Watching and considering how the kids interact with one another. Noticing the little details. My grandson is the constant on the team. All, or at least most, of the others have rotated in and out. But I still view the team as my kids. I am familiar with most of them. Being from a small town this is expected. I can't say I remember the different age groupings and how that all works. I think Mark is in U- 10 or something like it. The boys and girls are still on the same team. When that changes I don't know. I'm certain that will be a major shift in the dynamic. I'm not looking forward to that. They don't need to be that mature just yet !
So, the season begins ! The kids chose the name " Squirrels " some years back and it remains the unofficial official name. A few years back they did remind one of squirrels. Running all over the place apparently without purpose. Now they gather those nuts and squirrel away the goals ! Ok, a bad metaphor but what can I say. Go Squirrels.

Fashion Dated

I have never been much of a follower of fashion. Even in my teen years I didn't particularly care about style. Normally I just went with what was comfortable and affordable. That being said I have noticed some fashions lately. Skinny jeans being one. I just recently discovered skinny jeans are being worn by guys as well as gals. Saw that in a posting and it just struck me as odd. I can't say I've ever paid much attention to what guys are wearing, save for that fashion where your pants look like they are falling off. Some of these so called fashion statements are quite questionable. Were during my days too.
The thing I have noticed lately is this wearing of fashion by, how should I  put this, generational separated individuals. What I'm trying to say is, is fashion dated ? Should we, of an older generation be wearing the young, hip fashions ? I'm thinking not. In a lot of cases it just comes off to me as, foolish. You are not kidding me. I can tell your age. It is not just the body type I refer too,although few us look as slim and fit as we used too, but I think it is more than that. I think a sense of fashion awareness should accompany our ages. When one has no hair on top and the sides are gray perhaps,just perhaps, the pony tail has seen its' day. Unless you are an aging rock star or a Native American it just looks foolish. Varicose veins and cargo shorts are also not a good combination.
Now I'm not saying one can't be aware of fashion. I'm not saying all new fashions are bad. I'm just saying I think we need to weigh the merit of each against our ages and body type. When the mid drift is larger than the chest, tube tops may not be a good choice. And skinny jeans do not actually make you skinny. Muscle tees really only work when you have muscles. At least when the muscle is still in the accepted areas, I mean.
It just leads me to question the thinking of the person sporting this new look. Does your mirror reflect something different that what I am seeing ? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,that much is true, but in some situations it is better to look with the eyes and not the heart. God bless you for your young spirit but a little discretion please. And then there is the question of getting new " ink " on an old canvas. You know, maybe that ship has sailed. The "sea " looks a little choppy if you catch my drift ? Just sayin'.
And so all of this leads to the question, is Fashion Dated ? I would have to say fashion in and of itself is not, but fad certainly is. With age one should come to recognize the difference. Settling on a fashion era is another topic altogether. I'll just continue the way I always have. Right now I'm sporting the " classic " look. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

Downshifting

Labor Day. Not much of a holiday if you ask me. Oh, the day off from work is a good thing , you won't hear any complaints about that , except I don't get the day off. Big grocery day for all those barbecues and picnics. A day started by the labor unions. And anyone that knows me knows, I'm not much of a supporter of labor unions. I'll leave that discussion alone, however.
Traditionally it does mark the end of summer. In the place I grew up that meant the city folks went back home and pretty much stayed there until spring. That is not an issue here in Greensboro. No crowds thronging in here. Our population remains steady throughout the year.
Labor day. A day for the workers to rest. What a concept. Of course it was started before we had sick days,vacation days and personal days. I'm thinking labor day has lost some of it's impact. I 've never been quite sure just what to celebrate. Are we celebrating a day off or that we have a job ? In today's' world the later would seem the most appropriate. Guess I have to put away those seersucker suits and white outfits. Not supposed to wear white after labor day. Shouldn't we be having those huge white sales ? I haven't noticed any advertisements for them. At least not the way they used too.
So now we put away the watermelons and umbrellas. Out come the pumpkins and leaf rakes. Lawn furniture   neatly stacked or put in the shed. Time for stew instead of salads. Soon I'll hear those words again, soups on. Push in the clutch and shift gears. The pace slows down. Next up, Thanksgiving. Halloween doesn't count.

Knowledge of Youth

My grandson comes home from the sixth grade and says, " Grandpa, could you give me some examples of helping verbs ? " My mind begins to race but it is going no where. I've heard of this before but just what is a helping verb ? Quickly doing a Google search I'm reminded of the proper response. There are twenty three helping verbs in the English language. And a list of them followed. Guess that explains the popularity of the show are you smarter than a fifth grader ?
That lead me to thinking about the things you learn in school. The age old question. Why do I need to know this ? The question is still relevant. Why would I need to know what a helping verb is ? I'm 59 years old and this is the first time since I was in grade school that I've been asked that question. Never have I had an employer tell me, diagram that sentence for me. In all fairness though, I have never held a position were writing or composing sentences was part of the job. Some things have stuck with me. I try to avoid the dreaded run on sentence. And those pesky dangling participles ! One should certainly be cautious in their use. Conjunction Junction got me straightened out on that grammatical structure. Other areas are a bit foggy.
I can see the usefulness of history. Math skills are essential and reading of course. The three R's. Some of the curriculum is just fluff. That's what I think. It is just that teachers want to teach. Teachers also want to show off their knowledge so they started adding this other stuff in. It's the old story, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with " B *#$%$ T ". Besides we have to fill the whole day don't we ?
One could argue that all knowledge is valuable. I can't find fault with that statement. The thing is, knowledge is only valuable if you need it. Just as money can't buy you happiness, knowledge ( in some areas ) can be useless. So just why do we learn some of this stuff ? Is it to prepare us for the great trivia game of life ? Or is it some kind of cruel joke ? Insist we learn this information whose usefulness is questionable ? Is it just so our children or grandchildren can ask us questions about things we no longer remember ? Is that the joke ?
What a cruel twist of fate. I'll admit English composition and grammar weren't my best subjects. I'll admit to perhaps not giving those subjects my full attention. I never expected to be asked again, which word in this sentence is an adverb ?
I found the answer and shared it with my Grandson. Turns out he already knew and was testing me. Funny stuff. I just smiled at him and reminded him of the importance of knowing about this stuff. I assured him that I did know this at one time but it had slipped my mind. Maybe, just maybe that is why this stuff is taught today. I had to learn it and so do you ! And then we'll see if you can remember it forty some years later.