Meeting Father

I was talking with an old childhood friend the other day. He was relating a tale about my father to me. They had an occasion when they were both hospitalized. While there, they had long conversations to pass the time of day. I was away,off in the Navy. I remarked to my friend how I had never had the chance to really sit and talk with Dad, man to man like. This friend of mine could relate to that because he had lost his own father when he was just eight years old. He went on to tell me that sometime later Dad stopped at his house and presented him with a" flight bag."  My father had carried this flight bag while flying over Burma in World War Two. Why he chose to give that to him is a mystery.
After having this chat with my  friend I continued to think about this. A longing came over me. I wish I could have talked with Dad is his later years. Or more properly, mine. To have discussions with him on equal footing. Not as Father to Son but as one man to another. What insights to this man might I have gained. I think I caught glimpses of the man over the years. His close friends told me some tales from his youth. But I never had the opportunity to really get to know him. It sounds a little strange,I know, but all I ever really knew was the Father. Under that suit of " Father " there was a man. Would I have liked that man ? I'm thinking I would have.
Once,when I was eighteen or so, we did stop at a local bar and share a beer. Yes,it was legal. I had heard stories about this particular establishment that bordered on the mythic. I remember walking in there with Dad and he said Hello to the barkeep like they were old friends. Several others at the bar also said HI. Dad said give us a couple beers ! Pride swelled within me. I was introduced to the bar keeper. She was also the owner. We stood side by side. On his stomping grounds. Two men having a beer. We stayed long enough for one beer and went home. An hour I'll never forget. It is more moments like that, that I'm wishing we could have shared.
I have boys of my own. I've had to think about this. Wonder if they feel the same way ? And then I'm left with a question. Just when should I lower the cloak of Father ? I suppose I really should have done that already. They are both full grown with children of their own. Yet I still find myself attempting to influence them. Playing the " I'm your Father card " really hasn't had any real effect in years, but there is always the guilt trip !
And finally, and this is a big one, do I want to expose myself to their scrutiny ? To show them the truth behind the man. It is a risk. They may or may not like the man. It could change the dynamic altogether. It is a lot to consider.