bitter

  It was a bitter disappointment. That's a phrase I have heard a few times over the years. I hadn't given its' meaning much thought, just took it at face value. But these last few years or so on Facebook has caused me to examine that further. There are people who are both disappointed and bitter. What I've come to realize is there are those that are simply bitter at life. Does that bitterness stem from disappointment? That is certainly an individual thing. In order to be disappointed, one has to have had expectations. I was raised to not expect a whole lot, that was just the attitude. I was told you get pretty much what you earn and what you deserve. Your estimation of either one may be different than everyone else, but that doesn't make it right. I still believe that to be true. 

  I wonder if that isn't a part of the problem we are having today. Perhaps expectations are just too high. It certainly seems to me a lot of folks have "great" expectations. The issue being those expectations are misplaced. Too much concern for wealth and social status. The expectation of being successful, loved and admired by others. But just as in that famous story, a lack of loyalty, conscience and true caring for others creates that bitterness. One has to be genuine in order to enjoy true happiness. That's why your wealth or social status isn't so important. We all know you can be very happy, with very little, in the way of material things. It all depends upon where we attach our expectations. Reality can be a bitter pill to swallow to coin a familiar adage. 

  We aren't the victims of circumstance; we are the victim of our response to that circumstance. The vast majority we have little to no control over. It simply is. We are born into that. If you are then taught that you were born with a liability that will carry over throughout your life. How many are taught just that? You can't do this or that because. The fascination with being the first is also prevalent today. Simply pick anything, anything at all and be the first. That is somehow supposed to make you special, grant you a place in history. Well, remember there had to be a first at failure too, doesn't make it a good thing though. We are supposed to learn from all of that, not repeat it. Don't become bitter because the majority remains the majority. When we agreed to majority rules that didn't include making the minority the majority, or indeed, equal to that majority. That's just the way the majority works! Are you disappointed by that? 

  A reasonable expectation. Is there really such a thing? There is, although it only exists on an individual level. What others expect is often quite different. People have a tendency to expect a great more from you than from themselves. I can do this or that, but you shouldn't. The application of a moral code is very fluid in those circumstances. That is where the notion of if you have more than I do, you should give the difference to me, make us equal. It's the only moral thing to do. It's the expected thing. A prime example of that is the giving of a gratuity. A gratuity is a gift but is now expected, if not imposed upon you. Plenty of people bitter about that when they don't get that gift. It's beyond disappointed, it is bitterness. 

  I don't know it just seems to me that a lot of people are simply bitter at life. It hasn't turned out the way they expected it to. There have been disappointments and failures. Searching for a place to lay the blame they become bitter. They believe they have done everything right, or at least to the very best of their abilities, but were somehow prevented from accomplishing their goals. They are disappointed. The world turned against them. The universe conspired. Thing is, they never set a goal in the first place. They simply had expectations. They listened to and believed all the promises. There is only one promise that is true and that is, nothing is promised. I'm not disappointed in knowing that; it doesn't make me bitter. We don't even keep promises made to ourselves, therefore there should be no expectation of others doing that either. Reality seldom meets expectations. What happens tomorrow is not up to us. It isn't even up to what someone else wants. It is beyond the control of man. Being bitter about yesterday isn't going to change that.