just wondering

  I hear it a lot. Don't judge. I also laugh a lot at those saying that because they are judging me, for judging. It is their judgement that you shouldn't judge. There's a name for that but it escapes me at the moment. But that came to mind this morning as I scrolled down my page. It also occurred to me, just now, how most will understand exactly what I mean when I say, my page. Wasn't all that long ago that statement would have left everyone puzzled. Page? What the heck is he talking about? I'm rambling, sorry. But I was scrolling down my page, as I do most mornings, and looking at pictures and reading some comments. Some of these are people that I knew in high school and haven't seen since. Others are just people that appear on that page from time to time, and I have never known them. I am making judgements about them! Yes, I am. I am equally certain they are making judgements about me. Hey, it's what people do. It's just the ones that don't want to hear it say, don't judge. 

  Anyway, I am aware that I am making these judgements based on the impression they are leaving on the page. I have begun to wonder if people are more honest on social media than they are in person. I believe they are quicker to confront other people, quicker to express an opinion. Temperament is what I would call it. In person we tend to temper our comments based on the situation. We exercise judgement in responding, judging whether that comment could trigger a physical response. That was a real possibility when I was growing up and it remains so to this day, maybe even more so today. Call it situational awareness. Some call it political correctness.

  What I am thinking about is whether I would be "friends" with these people if it were real life. LOL, I mean, in person. I firmly believe social media isn't the real world. I wouldn't call it a fantasy land, if that were true fantasy isn't anything like I imagined. I interact with far more people on social media than I do in person. That's just a simple fact. Social media is the modern-day equivalent of what my mother called, polite company. It's actually the opposite of that in a way because the person isn't in your physical space. As such, the rules of engagement are different. For that reason I do wonder, which is real? 

  Now I believe we all think we are just the same on social media as we would be in person. That is the thinking, isn't it? I can't imagine anyone wanting to play a part on social media in some attempt to fool anyone? I mean, what would be the point in that? Yes, I know there are scammers, con men, and all that that may try to bilk you out of your money. There are frauds. I'm thinking mostly about the ones I have known in the past however, are they really the way they portray themselves to be? As for those I have never known, I guess that is who they are. Thing is, with all of them, I'm not giving out my bank account information, I'm not going to be tricked into giving anything. Call me a skeptic, call me stoic, call me just plain suspicious, but I don't believe many sob stories. I also don't believe it is my fate, my duty, or obligation to save the world. I firmly believe, God helps those who help themselves. 

  That bit of wisdom should be attributed to Ben Franklin although many mistakenly think it is a biblical verse. It is not! In fact, it is rather contrary to what the Bible teaches. But, just because I believe it that doesn't mean I don't believe in the Bible. I'm not perfect like that! I know, surprising, isn't it? I just believe it is practical advice. Acting independently is often the best method in achieving your goals. Self reliance. When you start relying on others, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. 

  As for me, I try to exercise sound judgement in all my dealings. I don't always succeed, especially when it is with someone I love or deeply care for. When your children or grandchildren look to you for help, for advice, or just for consolation the judgement may not be as harsh as it would be for others. It's a temptation difficult to resist. Far too many yield to that today in my opinion. But, that's another topic. I think that may also be the reason there are so many "social warriors" and "advocates of mercy" on social media these days. It is easy to just tell others what they should be doing, doing it is a lot harder. I know, I'm as guilty as anyone else. Still I like to believe I have a situational awareness. Sometimes I don't, that's when Facebook puts me in jail. Shot myself in the foot is what we used to say. Assault comments! I guess that is what Judgement has come to mean, an assault! So don't judge! 

 As for social media I wonder if my judgement would be different if I met you all in person. Would your judgement of me be different? What expectations do you have? I would think it would be yes on both counts. Impressions aren't always accurate. Perceptions are based on personal experience, that is the standard we measure by. The way we respond to every experience creates an impression. How we present that impression creates a perception. Painting the picture is one way to describe that. Is it real or an illusion? That's where judgement comes in.