writing the story

  The choices we make will ultimately define our lives. That I believe wholeheartedly, and it is a lesson I wish could be taught to children. But youth can not be taught that lesson, only time can accomplish that. The truth is it remains your choice until either legal authority, or death, decides otherwise. In both situations your choice is being removed and placed under the authority of another. Recently in the news we have heard about the conservatorship of Brittney Spears. From what little I know that has existed for thirteen years. Her choices have been restricted, if not outright denied. Is it justified? I really don't know and to be honest am not concerned about that in the least. Were she a person of less fame and wealth I doubt any such action would have been taken in the first place. How many mentally disturbed people, making bad choices, die in our streets every day? How many people are there fighting for and defending the rights of those people to make those choices? Indeed, tax payers are funding the counter drug to the illegal drugs so that person can make the same bad choice again! It's about choices.

 I'm a retired Navy man. The initial decision to join the Navy was my choice. Well, to be more accurate about that I would say, I was presented with several choices. My parents and in a broader sense, society, offered me those choices, tailored to my circumstances. Lacking scholarships and funding higher education wasn't a viable option, that left two. Get a job locally or join the service. Circumstances today would be far different, with a far greater range of choices, perhaps too many choices. But that is a discussion for another time. So, the decision was made and off I went. In a brief synopsis I served my initial enlistment, satisfying the contract, and returned to my hometown. Then I choose to get married and have a child. Didn't take long for experience to teach me a few lessons about all of that. I soon discovered life isn't really like a Hallmark movie. Let's just say reality crashed down on me and a decision needed to be made. I decided to return to the Navy for the job security and benefits that could earn me. It also removed me from my hometown, as it turned out, forever. I hadn't thought about that in the decision making process. In my experience almost everyone in the service intends to go back "home " In my estimation few ever do. That was one unintended circumstance stemming from that choice. It was a severing of ties. Few personal relationships exist to this day from that. Yes, I have old friends and classmates, folks I knew back then, but I haven't been in their physical presence in many years. For some of them it has been over forty years! Mostly they are all memories now. Many I wonder about, are they still with us? 

 But, I'm just writing about the choices we make and how they will define us. In thinking about that and remembering my time in the service, I've now been retired longer than I was on active duty, I realized the cost of service. Oh I hear the, thank you for your service, and appreciate the sentiment and recognition. I enjoy the benefits I earned for that service. Benefits I have to admit make my life far easier than it would be otherwise. Veterans benefits and retirement benefits. I am thankful for those. Thankful that either by choice, luck or circumstance I am entitled. Still there are times when I realize the cost to myself. That cost can't be measured, can't be quantified in any way.  The cost was included in the choices I made, even when I wasn't aware of those costs. It is more than the missed holidays, the separation from loved ones, and any inherent dangers. Those costs are short term, lasting the length of your enlistment. I'm thinking about the lifetime cost of service.

 In todays world we hear about sacrifice all the time. Those serving are sacrificing. Yes, you could say that but I don't believe it is taken in the correct context. A sacrifice is something freely given with the hope of a return. I gave my time, my service, in the hope for a return. Fact is, I'm enjoying that return to this day. It was a choice. 

 The thing is, whether I want it or not, that choice will always define me. Well, at least a portion of me. It will always be said, he was a veteran. Will I be remembered for anything else? I'd say not. Sure my family, friends and others may remember me, tell tales about me, but what will they say? A simple truth remains in all of this, if a different choice had been made, a different outcome would have resulted. It was my choice. And we can always choose a different path. That choice can only be made by you. The hard part, getting others to go along with your choices, when others are affected by those choices. We really aren't in this alone. Your choices will ultimately define you but it is the others writing the definition. All you can do is provide the story. The story can't be written until it is over. Choose wisely.