those we knew

  I was happy when Facebook put the birthday list back on. I notice them every morning and try to extend my birthday wishes to all. A good number of those names I have never met the person, or just have a vague memory of them from years gone past. I'm not one to remember such things as birthdays, anniversaries, and the like. My wife has a tremendous capacity for such things. From my limited experience there appears to be a part of a woman's brain devoted exclusively to that. Well that and any time a man made a mistake of any kind, that never gets forgotten, ever. But every now and again a name appears on that list that you do know a little better than others. Childhood friends and their siblings are often in that group. That happened to me this very morning and is the impetus for writing this blog. I looked up there in the upper right hand corner and saw that it was Lori Rosen's birthday. Lori Rosen Marsten that is. I had to smile a bit as I wrote happy birthday to her, remembering her as a little kid.

 You see Lori is the younger sister to Merianne Rosen a good friend to my sister when we were growing up. Younger than myself I paid little attention to her, she was just a kid. And my smile is because, that's the way I remember her the most. Of course I'm aware that she has aged somewhat, after all today is her birthday so that's proof of that, but in my mind she is still Merianne's little sister. I don't know her age and being the gentleman that I am I wouldn't ask but she is younger. I see her postings on Facebook and occasionally make a comment or two. I would say we were acquaintances, familiar with each others past a bit, but not so much anything past 1971 or so. That is the year I left East Hampton and no longer had contact with her. Oh you hear things about those you knew, you know how that is, but you no longer know them. And that is where memories are, in what we once knew. And we smile at the good memories. 

 The people we knew. That's what came to mind when I saw her name this morning on the birthday list. Those folks exist in our minds as we remember them being. The question is, what have they become? It's a process we call maturing, not to be confused with aging. I haven't had much experience with getting reacquainted with the people I used to know. Having not returned to my hometown or living in an area where I would meet these folks again, they exist in the past. I have kept in touch with close friends and believe them to be the same people I grew up with. They have matured into the same people I knew. I wonder though about those I think I knew, like the little kids. Did I say that right? Like in the case of little Lori Rosen, I knew her as a little girl, with long black hair, a smile and always busy. She was Merianne's little sister, nothing more, nothing less. So did I know her? Not really I guess, she was just a kid. Isn't that strange? 

 The people we knew older than ourselves we grow up to be equals with. Have you noticed that? At some point we don't see them as older, we see them as equals. Is that from our childhood days when we wished we were older? The " big " kids, as anyone older than myself but not yet an adult were called, always got to do the fun stuff. They could go here and there, stay up late, and were " allowed. " Why, because they were older. Well, now that we are all adults, we are equal regardless of age, unless you are a little kid, then you stay a little kid. That state exists in our minds. Lori is certainly an adult but still a little kid to me. But that is only so when that person hasn't entered your adult world, they are still living in the past. It's your past though, not theirs. It's very strange how our minds work that way. 

 Now those we considered adults when we were growing up remain adults. I think that is something that happened more in the past than it does today. It's a little something we call respect these days. Those that we knew as adults we addressed in that manner, Mr. Mrs., Aunt, Uncle, or whatever term is used in the local vernacular. For me it was Mr. or Mrs. unless they were close friends to my parents then they became aunts and uncles. To strangers it was sir or ma'am. I'll never be old enough to call them otherwise, at least not to their face. Although there are exceptions to that rule as well. It all hinges on familiarity. It seems I'm more familiar with the past than I am with the present. Guess that is what getting old is all about. I guess that is also why we keep younger people younger. Makes us feel grown up. I like being grown up but being old isn't as much fun as I thought it would be.