Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Friends

 I had a bit of a rough day yesterday. It began with hearing the news people spewing forth some nonsense questioning why there were no tests available for the Covid 19 virus before the virus was known to exist. I guess that is the name they have decided upon this time, Covid19, like it's a rocket or something. What happened to Wuhan, Chinese and Corona? None of those satisfied the politically correct crowd, so they chose a more neutral name, the scientific one you know in the interest of facts. Yeah, that's why that is. But anyway I began my day annoyed with that.
 Following that I composed my blog and posted it to Google, wherever that goes, and to my social media pages. I once again was taking about my concern for our freedoms being lost. Yes, that was the subject of that post. After reading a few comments that were posted to that blog I responded in frustration. The frustration being either those reading that post missed the subject entirely, or I failed to get that across. I responded to that. Yes, I was frustrated and a bit upset, not angry, just frustrated.     But there was one person that just wasn't having any of it. I don't need to mention any name(s). Quite a long discussion followed where I continued to explain that I was talking about loss of freedoms , not the response to Covid19. But then I was informed that Covid19 was the subject of that blog, which cane as a surprise since I wrote it and felt like, still do to be honest, that I know what the subject matter is. I pointed that out. I was informed once again, I was wrong. Well, okey dokey then.
 The day ended when after having made a rather sarcastic post earlier in the day, one I posted independently of any other post, just writing it in the " what's on your mind " block. That post resulted in being called an a**hole by someone I had thought of as a friend. Now that's unfortunate. Surprising certainly as the post wasn't directed at anyone in particular, just a general statement. I did ask that person a simple question, Is this post directed at you? And answered my own question with, it is only if you believe it to be. Think about that for a moment. And then, poof, just like that the person disappears from the page. I can only assume I have been blocked, deleted or whatever you call it. Unfriended? I don't know.
 My wife was aware of all this and asked how I was. Of course I responded with, I don't care, which always means someone does care. Yes it bothers me. I don't feel like I deserved that treatment at all. Well it is what it is. So after brooding a bit and running all the scenarios through my mind I have settled down. I thought I would just stop writing my blogs altogether. Then I thought I would write them but not post them, after all I'm always saying how I write them for myself and that's true. It's also true I post them enjoying positive feedback as a sort of reward to myself for writing them in the first place. I really don't mind it when people disagree with whatever I wrote, still trying to understand why they sometimes believe they are going to change my mind, but I do enjoy the discussion. It was at that point where I  decided I will not be bullied into silence. And if I allow others comments or actions to silence me that is exactly what it would be. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about all of this. I lie there for a couple hours grappling with all that had transpired. In the end I did reach this conclusion, one best stated by Frederick Douglas, " I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. " At the end of the day you really do only have to live with one person, yourself, you can not escape from yourself. Turns out, and a phycologist confirms this, honesty is not always the best policy. I'd argue that depend upon who you are trying to satisfy.
 I didn't choose to end the discussion. I didn't choose to start calling people names. It's a shame though, but life goes on. And in that vein an ancient philosopher Epicuris pointed out : " We do not so much need the help of our friends, as the confidence of their help in need. "   

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