Sunday, April 19, 2020

don't be anxious

 The other day I mentioned something to the effect of we can be surprised by how people turn out. I also think we can be surprised by how life turns out. I'm hoping when it's over I get the chance to look it over. What I mean is, I want more than seeing my life flash before my eyes. I'd like the chance to review the lives of those I knew while I was here. I'd like to see how it all turned out for them as well. Hopefully there will be many still here, I'll have the time to wait, and get to see the ending for myself. Strangely how people are remembered isn't always the way things turned out. Mostly we know about that when the person is famous in some fashion, fame or notoriety makes little difference to the deceased. I'm thinking about lives like Elvis. How did it all turn out for him? He passed away from a drug overdose in the bathroom. It just didn't turn out well for him in my opinion. That seems to happen to a great number of celebrities. Tragic ends to what appears to be great lives.
 When we are interested in the story we are always anxious to hear the end. It's a rather ironic thing when you think about it. Then we read the same book, or watch the same movie over and over again. We still enjoy the story even after the end is known. I expect it is that way with people too. We call it being remembered. There are many names from history that we remember. We remember them for the way things turned out. Whether the end result was good or bad, they are remembered. It is something we all aspire too in my opinion, to be remembered. In order to accomplish that, we must be memorable. In what can only be described as ironic that depends upon others, not ourselves. That's not to say we can't make ourselves memorable in the short term, that's a fairly easy thing to do. but to have the memory last requires others. Your book or movie has to be read or watched over and over again. It is the introduction of a new audience that keeps it moving forward. But I do believe we have to remain interested in the story. That is to say we shouldn't become anxious for the story to end! That becomes more difficult as the years pass. It's one thing to want to stay alive, another to live. Another thing entirely to keep writing the story.
 It has been called, resting on your laurels. That's when you expect a certain measure of respect and acknowledgement from what you have already accomplished. It's being anxious to be remembered. It's like knowing the end of the story. I suppose that's fine if you are happy with the ending as it was, but that doesn't mean how it will be. Won't know that till it's over. Only then can we tell how it all turned out. It is that that interests me more than what happened yesterday or the day before. I'm interested in the results more so than the action. That is why I say I'm hoping I get to see how it all turns out. I like to believe that those before me can see the story unfolding before them. I also like to believe they are enjoying the character I am portraying in what we call living. It's the only part in the story I can control. Well unless you believe the part was written for you the day you were born, and I can't rule out that possibility. I do tend to believe that we are given instructions and it is up to us to either follow them or ignore them. The only question being, can we always understand them? Are we forgiven for misunderstandings? Yes, I think we are. I know I will forgive misunderstandings until I understand it wasn't.
 Well I'm thinking we are the only one that will know how it all turned out anyway. Everyone else will form their own opinion. Perhaps that is the flash that we get to see. The answer illuminated in an instant before the darkness. Does everyone see that? I'm hoping to see how it all turns out, just not anxious to finish the story. 

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