Yesterday I celebrated 66 years of being alive. Strange it doesn't seem that long, but there is that thing called time, and as Einstein pointed out, it's relative. I was overwhelmed with birthday wishes on my Facebook page. It was a reassurance. I'm aware that I can irritate some, annoy others, and make folks uncomfortable with my opinions. Despite all of that I was extended many wishes. A reassurance in humanity. I'm grateful for that, the best present you can receive is love, and I was feeling the love.
There was a time in my life when birthdays were about cards and candles. I looked for those birthday cards and counted the candles on my cake. I still receive a few cards, there are those that still practice that ritual. I do, with certain individuals, I know they are expecting it. They expect it not for the receiving but the giving. It is a reassurance to them that all is well. That is especially true when we advance in age, a missing card can mean a missing life, a reality of living. As I celebrated my birthday I was reminded of those that are no longer here to celebrate. Too many younger than myself.
I don't intend for this blog to be a somber thing. I am quite touched by the sheer numbers that took the time to wish me a happy birthday. It does give me pause. I don't want to ever take any of that for granted, it is not. In the politically charged climate we are living in rifts can appear in an instant. I'm just as apt to cause that rift as the next man. I'm quite certain I have done just that on more than one occasion. I can't, in all honesty, say I'm sorry. I can't apologize for being me. I can however be grateful that I am accepted and tolerated for being me. I don't know how to say what it is I'm feeling. It's not a satisfaction, it's not that emotion. It's more of a, in spite of feeling. In spite of my shortcomings I did receive those wishes. But at the same time the " in spite of " doesn't exactly describe it either. In spite of implies wrongdoing, and I don't feel wrong.
Whatever the feeling were/are yesterday was not about cards and candles. The truth is I can't honestly say when that changed. At what age do we stop anticipating all of that. I'm guessing for most of us it is when we moved out of our childhood home and into the real world. That first birthday, away, certainly wasn't about cards and candles! I was in the Navy then, just another name in the crowd. A celebration? No, it was an excuse. Today is my birthday. It didn't mean much. Then the kids had birthdays. Yes , my kids had birthdays. Those we celebrate with cards and candles once again. Now it's grandkids. Mine are old enough that the excitement for them is diminishing. I still give them cards and candles but they aren't excited about that any more than I am. It is a ritual, not much more. Now all that is necessary is an acknowledgement. A simple Happy Birthday is sufficient to convey the message. I received that message yesterday and I am grateful.
There was a time in my life when birthdays were about cards and candles. I looked for those birthday cards and counted the candles on my cake. I still receive a few cards, there are those that still practice that ritual. I do, with certain individuals, I know they are expecting it. They expect it not for the receiving but the giving. It is a reassurance to them that all is well. That is especially true when we advance in age, a missing card can mean a missing life, a reality of living. As I celebrated my birthday I was reminded of those that are no longer here to celebrate. Too many younger than myself.
I don't intend for this blog to be a somber thing. I am quite touched by the sheer numbers that took the time to wish me a happy birthday. It does give me pause. I don't want to ever take any of that for granted, it is not. In the politically charged climate we are living in rifts can appear in an instant. I'm just as apt to cause that rift as the next man. I'm quite certain I have done just that on more than one occasion. I can't, in all honesty, say I'm sorry. I can't apologize for being me. I can however be grateful that I am accepted and tolerated for being me. I don't know how to say what it is I'm feeling. It's not a satisfaction, it's not that emotion. It's more of a, in spite of feeling. In spite of my shortcomings I did receive those wishes. But at the same time the " in spite of " doesn't exactly describe it either. In spite of implies wrongdoing, and I don't feel wrong.
Whatever the feeling were/are yesterday was not about cards and candles. The truth is I can't honestly say when that changed. At what age do we stop anticipating all of that. I'm guessing for most of us it is when we moved out of our childhood home and into the real world. That first birthday, away, certainly wasn't about cards and candles! I was in the Navy then, just another name in the crowd. A celebration? No, it was an excuse. Today is my birthday. It didn't mean much. Then the kids had birthdays. Yes , my kids had birthdays. Those we celebrate with cards and candles once again. Now it's grandkids. Mine are old enough that the excitement for them is diminishing. I still give them cards and candles but they aren't excited about that any more than I am. It is a ritual, not much more. Now all that is necessary is an acknowledgement. A simple Happy Birthday is sufficient to convey the message. I received that message yesterday and I am grateful.
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