I saw a little piece on the news this morning. It was a human interest story about a woman that had beaten breast cancer. The story told of her struggle through thirty treatments. Now, she is cancer free. The story centered however on a small incident, one that on the surface seems amusing. You see at the end of their treatments, when these lucky souls are pronounced cancer free and leaving the facility for the last time, they ring a bell. Understandably this woman was so happy, so excited, she rang that bell enthusiastically, to say the least. She rang it so hard and fast the clapper broke! That was the source of amusement and the video shown on television.
Now you would think that should be a story to make you smile, a heartwarming anecdote. But for me, that wasn't the case at all. December past I lost my sister to stomach cancer. When I watched that story memories came flooding back, not that those memories were far away I carry her with me everyday. But I remember talking with her. She lived in Florida and I in Maryland so talking on the phone was the best we could do. We spent many hours talking, talking about the old days, talking about family, talking, talking about most everything except cancer. She would tell me of her treatments, the ups and downs, and her hope for the future. Those conversation were usually brief, she tended to gloss over that stuff preferring to concentrate on the positive. We talked, we made plans, and we dreamed together just as we had done as children. And my big sister remained strong through it all.
I did travel to Florida to visit with her. By that time she was pretty much bedridden, the cancer having taken its' toll. There were to be no more treatments, no more hoping against hope. She was aware, I was aware, and everyone was aware there would only be one ending to this story. Still she remained positive, still strong, reassuring. In one of our conversations she did share this with me. They had a bell where she went to get her treatments. The lucky folks would ring that bell. She confided in me a hidden resentment toward that bell. She knew she would never ring it. Yes, she was happy that others defeated that disease, yes she would smile and congratulate them. But deep down she resented that bell.
That is what came to mind as I watched that story on the news. You see what is positive for some can be negative for others. But I think the important thing to remember is, we all walk a different path. Even when we are going the same direction, the path may be different. But I learned from my sister just because your path is different it doesn't make it wrong. It's just the way we have to go. We don't always get to choose the path, only how we walk it. And my sister walked her path, head held high. I don't know what path am I destined to walk. I don't know if I get to ring the bell, but I do think it had to be a burden, that knowledge. Could I carry that burden? I'm lucky to be alive. A message heard, a lesson learned.
Now you would think that should be a story to make you smile, a heartwarming anecdote. But for me, that wasn't the case at all. December past I lost my sister to stomach cancer. When I watched that story memories came flooding back, not that those memories were far away I carry her with me everyday. But I remember talking with her. She lived in Florida and I in Maryland so talking on the phone was the best we could do. We spent many hours talking, talking about the old days, talking about family, talking, talking about most everything except cancer. She would tell me of her treatments, the ups and downs, and her hope for the future. Those conversation were usually brief, she tended to gloss over that stuff preferring to concentrate on the positive. We talked, we made plans, and we dreamed together just as we had done as children. And my big sister remained strong through it all.
I did travel to Florida to visit with her. By that time she was pretty much bedridden, the cancer having taken its' toll. There were to be no more treatments, no more hoping against hope. She was aware, I was aware, and everyone was aware there would only be one ending to this story. Still she remained positive, still strong, reassuring. In one of our conversations she did share this with me. They had a bell where she went to get her treatments. The lucky folks would ring that bell. She confided in me a hidden resentment toward that bell. She knew she would never ring it. Yes, she was happy that others defeated that disease, yes she would smile and congratulate them. But deep down she resented that bell.
That is what came to mind as I watched that story on the news. You see what is positive for some can be negative for others. But I think the important thing to remember is, we all walk a different path. Even when we are going the same direction, the path may be different. But I learned from my sister just because your path is different it doesn't make it wrong. It's just the way we have to go. We don't always get to choose the path, only how we walk it. And my sister walked her path, head held high. I don't know what path am I destined to walk. I don't know if I get to ring the bell, but I do think it had to be a burden, that knowledge. Could I carry that burden? I'm lucky to be alive. A message heard, a lesson learned.
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