A luxury lost

 Its' been near eight months since my sister passed away and I think about her daily. No surprise there, she has always been a part of my life. She was, after all, here when I arrived. That she had to leave early is something I have no answer for. I try to take comfort in knowing that things are the way they are supposed to be. That's not always easy, I do like to control things, as we all do. But there are times when that loss is felt more strongly than others. Holidays, special occasions and things like that. There are markers and milestones in our lives that define the past and lead us to tomorrow.
 Yesterday I felt a longing to just call my sister and have a chat. That happens every now and again and I expect it always will. My wife tells me she feels the same way about her sister, that's why she still has messages from her on her phone. It's a comfort to hear her voice. I don't have my sister on my phone however, she seldom left a message, we usually just talked away, sometimes for an hour or more! But that's alright I don't feel a need for that. I think what I do feel a need for is; validation. I think there are times when we just want to hear someone else say what we are thinking, and my sister was great at that. She always seemed to know what was on my mind before I even told her. She would say what I was thinking! I don't know how to explain that, but that is what I feel.
 There were many years that we didn't see each other at all. I was busy living my life and she was buy with hers. It didn't have anything to do with anything else. It is just where the path took us. We always walked our own paths, her and I. Those that knew us well would attest to that. But we were joined by the love of brother to sister and sister to brother. We were there for each other whenever it was needed. She walked a great path and did so with honor and dignity her entire life. If you needed a model, an example to follow, you would be well advised to follow hers. I admired her as a child and I admire her still. She spoke her truth quietly and with conviction.
 I would call her when I was troubled and receive calm. I wasn't aware at the time but it came from her understanding. What I mean by that is that she knew what I was thinking. I didn't have to tell her my conclusions, often I didn't know I even had one, but she would tell me. She didn't always agree with that conclusion but she knew what it was. There were times when she gently chided me. There were times when I needed that. There were times when she offered encouragement. There were even times when we both seemed stymied! What's a person to do. But she was there when I wanted to listen, or to talk. And that is the crux of it all. I think that is what separates friends from those we love. Our friends will listen to us, our friends will talk with us, but those that love, do either, equally and without question. Those that we love, and that love us in return, know what is required at the time, like a sixth sense. My sister was like that. No matter if we hadn't spoken in years, or in hours. She always knew. It was a comfort. I miss that comfort, that luxury. Yes, having her for my sister was a luxury I enjoyed fully. I miss her. You know you could say: I know what she would say, but it isn't the same as her saying it. Do you know what I mean? A luxury lost. 

little things

 Sometimes it is the littlest things. Take my morning coffee for instance. I sure enjoy that, a mixture of pleasure and nostalgia. Now I never really started drinking coffee until after I was in the Navy.  I know it sounds cliche but it is the truth. Being in the Navy can influence many things in your life, coffee being the least of them. But I'm not talking about those, I'm talking about my morning coffee. I do enjoy a good cup of hot, black coffee. No sugar, no cream, no other flavors, just Folgers classic grind. After drinking government coffee for twenty years Folgers is far superior to Starbucks! A real treat, a luxury.
 As for the nostalgia part, it does go back to my childhood. Grandmother Bennett kept a fresh pot of coffee on all day. After greeting you her next word always was, coffee? That percolator was there, hot and ready to go. Now Grandma didn't drink coffee, preferring tea, but she always had coffee for everyone else. When I was little she would pour an ounce of coffee in a cup, add lots or milk and sugar and we would share coffee. Made me feel like a part of the social scene, even though I had no idea it was a social scene. It was just being at grandmas. Grandma, her kitchen, and a percolator are forever linked in my thoughts. You can't have one without the other.
 In the service coffee is brewed in an urn! Think about that. An urn. Usually associated with cremation, it's a place to put the ashes. Associated with death. In the service an urn is associated with life. Coffee is life to a sailor! Now I can't speak for the other branches but in the Navy, coffee is imperative. Old time sailors called it Joe but I rarely heard anyone say that. I'm not that old! Still coffee was important. Someone was always assigned to make the coffee for the watch. It didn't make any difference if you drank that coffee or not, you would be assigned to make it. When the boss wanted coffee you had best have coffee. In my day there were no automatic drip coffee makers on the ship! Well I joined in '71 and Mr. Coffee wasn't released to the public until '72. I was in until 1991 and still can't recall ever seeing an automatic drip coffee maker on a ship, not even in a private office. Surely there must have been some. But my memories are of those urns full of hot, black coffee. You learned to drink it that way simply because cream and sugar isn't always available, plus real sailors drink it black! It's a macho thing. And coffee is always drank from a mug, no cups. Hey, we're men here, this ain't a tea party!
 Following my Navy career I drank plenty of coffee from automatic drip coffee makers. Mr Coffee and a host of others. I'll say this much, they are convenient. The coffee tastes good, like a great cheeseburger does, but doesn't compare to perked coffee, that's like a sirloin steak! Well maybe the analogy isn't the best but you get what I mean. So at some point I purchased an old fashioned percolator just like Grandma had. I even got it with the little glass in the lid so you can see it perk. Now that coffee is the best and I'm never going back. Well I went back, but back is better than forward in this case. I do enjoy that fresh perked coffee. And the funny thing about it is this, I like seeing the grounds in the bottom of my mug, although I call it a cup. I say a cup of coffee but I want a mug, isn't that strange? Well as long as it is hot, black and strong we are good to go. Sometimes it is the littlest things, coffee grinds. 

for the brand

 I hear the cries all the time about out veterans. To hear the story you would think that every veteran suffers from PTSD. That is the reason so many are homeless, drug addicted or otherwise outside the boundaries of society. I hear advocates saying all veterans should get preferential treatment. Veterans first, and the worst thing , all veterans are heroes. As a twenty year veterans I can assure you I'm no hero. I earned the brand of Veteran, not the title hero.
 I have written about this in the past, no surprise there, but it came to the forefront of my thinking once again. It's something I struggle with on a personal level. I don't have PTSD, I have the opposite. I'm not sure what you would call that but I feel a bit unworthy. What I mean is, when I hear about these vets that have lost arms, legs, and suffered terrible emotional stress, and get compared to them I feel unworthy. Over my twenty year Naval career I went untested. Like a firetruck that never left the firehouse, I never put out a fire! That's the best way I can describe it. Yes I was deployed many times, all over the world, but I was never engaged in combat. Nope, not even once.
 Now I don't view that as a disappointment, I'm not a war monger. I have never been one to seek a fight. I did take the advice of a childhood television hero, The Rifleman. In one episode he explains to his son, a man never runs from a fight, but a man doesn't run to one either! Well because television shows back in the day carried a moral to them, a message. In this case the code of the west. Yes, it was a Hollywood creation, that code of the west, but it was a morality lesson. Cowboys never mistreated women, children, and animals. You don't look for a fight! If a fight finds you, stand your ground! I was standing there, but the fight never showed up. I was there for some saber rattling, a few minor dust ups, but was never engaged in the heavy fighting. As I said, not a disappointment but I was left untested. I'll never know how I would respond to that situation. And for that reason I feel uncomfortable with all these veteran accolades. Not all veterans are created equal. That's my feeling about it.
 Sure I can take pride in having served. I served. Yes I signed the contract, the agreement to follow the orders of those appointed over me. Yes the job could kill me! So could a thousand other jobs that people do every day. I was compensated for my time and effort. Fact is I still receive compensation for that. I have been retired longer than I was on active duty! But the question remains, did I do my job? I followed the orders of those appointed over me, I did what I was told. I remained vigilant. I was ready to fight if that was the next order. Isn't that what I signed up to do? Yes, you could say that. But I didn't sign up to run to the fight, just not run from one. In 1971 when I first signed that contract there was a fight going on. It was Vietnam. I didn't sign up to go there, to go to the fight, one reason I joined the Navy. Did I agree with that war? Hey I was 18 years old and really wasn't concerned with world politics. I made no pretense of being socially aware and concerned for the planet. No, my country was involved in a war. My responsibility is to my country first and foremost. It still is. Like that Hollywood cowboy I ride for the brand! This is the United States of America, land of the free and home of the brave. I raised my right hand and spoke those words; I solemnly swear I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America against all enemies foreign and domestic, that I will bear true faith  and allegiance to the same, and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States, and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the uniform code of military justice, so help me God. When my name was placed on the retired list I was not relieved of that duty. I stand ready.
 I think what bothers me is the observation that words are cheap. Yes I agree with that. Words without action are nothing more than a description, a fiction. I can say this or that but without action it means little. I was ready. Ready is a noun not a verb. A noun is a person, place, thing, or idea. That's what I learned in grammar school. A verb is an action word. I fought! Fought is the verb, the action. Was being ready enough? That's the question that will be left unanswered in my life. Could be it was nevr intended for me to know.
 Well like I said, like the Hollywood cowboy I ride for the brand. I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America! If I'm taking her money, I'm giving her my loyalty in return. Old fashioned, Hollywood, a fiction? No, not hardly. I'm ready. Felt that way in '71 and feel that way in '19. You could say, I'm branded myself. I'll say this much, if you ain't riding for the brand, get off the ranch! 

it's a struggle

 There are days when I feel like I'm battling the tide. I expect a lot of seniors feel the same way. Seniors, I'm a senior. Well actually I'm junior, Dad is senior, just because he passed away in 1990 that didn't change. But I know they are just talking about age. I'm old! It's nothing new to me though as I've been called old since I was about thirty five. I know, that's not old. I was in the Navy then and having been in the Navy for fifteen years to many I was old. You have to remember a great deal of the people I was dealing with were in there twenties. When you are in your twenties thirty five is pretty old. Those same folks presented me with a shadow box containing the ribbons and medals I was awarded over my career. One inscription on there calls me " Father Time " That was a name they often used when talking about me. It was all in good fun. Just another example of time and relativity.   Time and tide wait for no man is an old adage, one I heard my Grandmother say many times. She didn't believe in wasting time. There are only so many hours in a day you know! I feel like I'm battling the tide of change, not time. Now I'm not against change. The thing to remember is, not all change is good. Oh I know the first impression of change is its' a good thing, that's what most think. Well at least change that frees them of some constraint. If everyone is doing it, it must be alright. That's the kind of change everyone wants, everyone embraces. Take smoking pot as an example. It should be legalized! It's no worse than drinking alcohol. If it's not worse it's okay, the standard used for comparison isn't being judged, just the pot. That's the kind of change I'm talking about. A change in the moral standard. Consider the language many use in everyday conversation. I'd say compared to thirty years ago it has degraded considerably. Certainly wouldn't call it polite! But its' accepted isn't it? Yes it is accepted for the most part as an everyday thing, no one is particularity shocked when an " F " bomb is dropped. Even politicians do that, it's only wrong depending upon your political affiliation. If that person belongs to your party, he or she is just being " real." If they don't they are crass and uncouth. Probably grounds to be impeached! That's because the standard is flexible these days. We'll call it change.
 I expect it is always the same and always will be. It doesn't change the way I feel. Each person adopts a moral standard. When that standard begins to shift it is unsettling. It's similar to standing in the sand when the waves rush back to the sea. The sand is pulled from under your feet, you feel unstable, you fight to regain balance. There are those that will simply sit down, surrender to that pull. There are others that will run for the shore. But I'm one that stands there, defiant. I will not be swept away with the tide. I've never been one to just go with the tide. Never been much of a follower. Fad and fashion were never a big interest of mine. I don't really care what the popular opinion is, what the popular answer may be. No just repeating the answers from rote has never been a long suit of mine. It's true, I have never been one of the cool kids. The reason for that is simple enough, I didn't always agree with the changes. You can't be popular when you have an unpopular opinion. Now it's also true I've never been much of a leader either. I know that because a leader would have followers, I don't have followers. So that leaves me just fighting the tide going in and going out. Some things never change.
 I know I'm not going to win against the tide, no one does. That's alright, no changes there. The only thing that changes are our perceptions. The struggle is not to lose perspective. It is easy to just go along with the crowd, fit in and be accepted. People love it when people agree with them. I know that for a fact, I love it too. It is a skill I'm afraid I never mastered, I always wind up saying something that upsets folks. Well, the ones that are my friends understand that because they are standing there with me. I have been lucky to have friends like that. As I said the struggle is not to lose perspective. The best way to do that is to remain where you are. Don't sit down, don'r run for the shore, just stand there and face the tide. The water will change, it is ever changing, but your perspective remains the same. The world around us is much the same, always changing, sometimes peaceful and calm, at other times the storm rages. Maintain perspective though and you'll get through. 

Looking back

 We all like to look back on things and examine them. The what ifs' in life. What if we have done this  instead of that. Then we envision a better outcome for whatever it was. Did we really have a choice? That's something I find myself considering at times. I'm thinking that was all situational. Sometimes I had a choice, sometimes there was no other viable alternative. So I guess you could say my decisions were based on viability. Or at the very least what I believed to be viable. In retrospect many things I thought impossible where actually doable. Nowadays we are encouraged to tell our children they can do and be anything they want. Pointing out their lack of talent or ability isn't something we are supposed to do. Parents are supposed to just encourage and accept whatever their children decide. To do anything else brings your parenting skills into question. Go too far with that stuff and social services will be paying you a visit!
 For me, looking back I was encouraged to do the right thing. Yes, it was what my parents, friends, and clergy thought were the right thing, but I was told that is what I should do. My personal ideas of right and wrong were secondary, what was important was doing the right thing. Making the right choice. That's not to say I was always successful in that, but I tried. That's why I made some choices that were contrary to what I actually wanted. Granted most of them were insignificant little things but there are a few biggies in there as well. The biggest that jumps to mind is joining the Navy after high school. Did I really want to do that? Well the truth is, I didn't have any other plan in mind and something was expected. I wasn't going to graduate high school and just hang around. That didn't seem like an option. I knew I wasn't going to college, that wasn't a viable option. Get a job, get a place of my own? Well, the Navy was a job. But what if? I had to make a choice, I chose to do the right thing. Turns out, it was the right thing but I still think, what if? What if my parents had just said, do whatever you like, no pressure.
 Now this isn't about me joining the Navy. I just used that as an example. As I said it has mostly been insignificant little things but still my choices have been driven by a sense of what is right. I was taught the law is right. You may not like the law, you may not agree with the law, but you obey the law! Your parents are the law. Sometimes there are laws to protect us from ourselves. Civil law works in much the same way. Laws are made to protect us, sometimes to protect us from each other. Yes you can petition to change laws but you do that according to, guess what, the law! That's correct, breaking the law to change the law is breaking the law. What if that weren't so? Then you have anarchy. That isn't the right thing. In my house, growing up, that would be met with punishment, depending upon the severity of the infraction, corporal punishment. It was an effective deterrent! If nothing else it gave me pause. And sometimes that is all we need, a break to think about things. Also seeing others paying for their crimes served as a warning, this could be you. I didn't hear many excuses, many explanations why the person committed that crime, what I heard was they had broken the law. They had a chance to explain all that to the judge, if they are in jail it's because they broke the law.
 That's what I see looking back. What are the kids of today going to look back on? Protests and excuses. If you don't like something, protest it or boycott it! That's what I'm seeing on a regular basis. Excuses abound for everything and anything. It's not your fault. It's someones else's. Charity is to be expected, in fact, receiving charity is a right! You can even start an account for that. Want something. start a go fund me account, just ask for charity. If you don't get it you can probably sue someone. If you have a phone. or the internet, you have a lawyer! And that is what lawyers are for, to sue somebody or something! Because we are teaching our children that justice is, monetary compensation. Punishing the criminal isn't the way to go, they should be treated with respect, given consul, rehabilitated, maybe even funds for a new start in life! Justice is served when I receive monetary compensation not when the criminal is punished.
 I don't know, reading over this I guess I'm just wondering what the kids today are being taught. What is right and wrong? I wonder if we aren't teaching our children that right is whatever they feel like doing at the time. Well because we are not supposed to judge. If I tell you that something is bad that you feel is good, I'm judging you. We shouldn't do that. Funny thing is, I was taught to exercise good judgement. It is what was expected. As I said I wasn't always successful but I used my best judgement. And judgement is impartial. It's supposed to be anyway. That's why lady justice is blindfolded. You know her, she holds the scales of justice in her hand. Now if I can't judge between good and bad how do I know what side of the scale to put things on?
 A scale uses weight to tip the balance. Thing is weights are constants. They are always the same. Without a constant the scales don't tell us much. I'm just looking back at the constants in my life. Those are what I use to judge. Right and wrong don't change. It is only what we accept as right and wrong that changes. But, can we change the constants? I don't think so. 

fact or philosophy

 Philosophy is defined as the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence. That is especially so when considered as an academic discipline. Fact is defined as that what is known or proved to be true. So is philosophy fact? I think philosophy may be fact to the philosopher, to the one doing the philosophizing. It is certainly known to that person but there does remain the burden of proof. Can it be proven to be true? That's the crux of the whole matter isn't it? That is the reason we think of philosophy as nothing more than thoughts. We may adopt those thoughts as an action plan, a guidepost so to speak, believing them to be correct, but the proof lies with others. The proof is in the validation of those thoughts. 

 I've never taken any advanced classes in such things as philosophy. It can be an academic discipline. I'm a bit curious as to what you would learn. I'm thinking you would just read and study what other philosophers had to say about the fundamental nature of things. Then it would be up to you to either agree or disagree with those thoughts and ideas. I wonder how would you be graded on such a subject? Would it be based upon your ability to identify what philosopher said what? I can't see where it makes a difference who said what, but rather it makes a difference what you believe to be true. But even then, the truth is subjective in the area of philosophy. Fact is what is proven to be true, can you prove philosophy? Is there a right and wrong answer?

 I wasn't really aware that what I was writing was philosophy. I've just been writing down my thoughts. Turns out a good number of these blog postings are just that, philosophy. I say it often and believe it to be true, there is little you can say that hasn't been said before. That would be true with philosophy as well. I don't think there is much that hasn't been thought about before! We are all philosophers. Our philosophy is shaped by our circumstance. Our philosophy changes with those circumstances as well. Our reality changes affecting our existence. Remember philosophy is the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality and existence. So the philosophical question becomes, where does the fundamental nature of knowledge come from? Is knowledge truth? Knowledge is fact. Facts are proven how? By general acceptance is the answer. When the majority agree, based on experimentation, experience or practical understanding something becomes fact. Knowledge can be described as the application of fact. But fundamental knowledge remains, that which is inherent in a person. It is what we call intelligence.

 We present our philosophy as fact. That is simply because it is what we believe to be truth at the moment. We may change that philosophy at any time. It can happen instantly with the addition of another fact or the disproving of a fact that we previously believed. We can change fact! Getting you to adopt my fact is another thing altogether. In order to do that I have to change your fundamental knowledge, your understanding. I have to get you to change your philosophy. What is more important, philosophy or fact? Philosophy is thought, fact is reality. But then my thoughts create my reality. My thoughts don't create yours however. Which is reality? Now that's something to think about. 

subject to change

 Is there law above culture? Or are laws a result of culture? The thing is they are two different questions. Laws are made among men to create an ordered society. Certainly those laws will reflect the culture of that society. But are there laws above culture? Yes there are, what we call morality. Laws are subjective but morality is not. If it is wrong, it is always wrong. Morality is not relative. If it were we could never have moral reformers. That's simply because if our morals are relative there is no standard to compare them too. To be a moral reformer one has to oppose the moral code of the society. In so doing you become an immoral person, relative to the society. 

 If morality were relative you could never improve it, only change it. Why? Because in order to improve something you have to have a standard, the ideal. That's why we say Christ is perfect! You can't improve upon Christ. Christ is the moral standard in this situation. We use the excuse that we are mere mortals to excuse our failure to reach that moral standard. It's relativism. Relatively speaking, even the best man falls short of the standard. What is important however is having that moral standard! The moral standard supersedes the law. Indeed, in the ideal situation all laws would align with the moral code. That has yet to be achieved by man and most likely never will be attained. The reason for that, moral relativism. When cultures decide that a wrong is somehow right: relatively speaking. The moral code is clear, thou shalt not kill. Still all cultures have made exceptions to that rule. Each excuse being relative to a different situation. Self defense, defeating evil, or even convenience! 

 Evil is proof that there is good. You can't have evil without first having good. The moral code is the good. Any perversion of that code is evil. That's it in a nutshell. If morality really were relative or subjective there could be no evil as there would be no moral standard. There is no ultimate truth. No ultimate right! You have to have a right before you can have wrong. You can't be wrong if there is no right! Wrong is dependent upon right, but right needs no wrong. Therefore moral relevance is false. If it is wrong, it is always wrong. 

 The real problem with moral relativism is in the constant change. You can tell what people want by what they do, not what they say. I've known a few that were all non-violent until confronted. Then they quickly became an advocate of self defense. I've known others that were all about sharing until they had to share. If I point that out, I am accused of judging. Yes I am. I am judging your action against a moral standard. That has nothing to do with my actions, it is just a determination of right and wrong. I can not accept that morality is subjective. I will not buy into this premise that an action is wrong today but right tomorrow. As far as judging, yes I judge actions against a moral standard. I judge my actions as well as others. If you tell me I shouldn't make judgments aren't you them making a judgement about me? Doing the very thing you say I shouldn't do, a subjective morality? Good for you, but not for me. And that is subjective morality. The question becomes what feels good versus what is good? Subjective morality is all about you ( the subject ) instead of what is right. 

 Now none of this is intended as a judgement or a condemnation. It is just my thoughts on things. I'm watching what is going on in my country, my culture, and becoming alarmed. Are we becoming a culture of relativists? Are we abandoning the moral code altogether in favor of comfort, convenience and commerce? Christianity is under attack while promoting Muslims and their ideology. It's a form of relativity. For Christians there are portions of the Islamic faith that are quite troubling, sharia law among them. But some Christians are also saying we must support this as a tenet to Christianity.  Well because Christians must support evil to be Christian! That's subjective morality. It's only wrong when we say it is wrong. Yes laws are a reflection of culture. I believe that is a valid statement. And that is what troubles me. Our culture is changing to a more subjective society, the foundation is being eroded. The line between right and wrong is being blurred, dependent upon the situation. Dependent upon what? What feels good, or feels right, at the time? Subject to change. 

 I do want to make a simple statement here. There are things going on in this country that I oppose. In doing so I have been accused of prejudice, hate, intolerance, and a few other adjectives. I want to say it is not about any of those things. What it is is moral repugnance! That's correct there are some actions that have been codified in the law , in our culture that I find morally repugnant! That doesn't mean I will attack anyone, cause them harm in any way, mistreat them or any of that. What it means is, I find those things morally repugnant! They are a moral contradiction! Yes, against my moral standard. I will not apologize for that. If you have to apologize for your belief perhaps you need a new belief! Just sayin' 

if at first

 Well the plan for yesterday didn't go quite the way I had hoped. I did go crabbing with the grandkids but the crabs failed to show up for the party. Oh well, we are going to try again today. Got some fresh chicken and renewed hopes. I was asked yesterday about the number of crabs I had caught and had to report that number, zero. But I did answer with, it's not about the crabs, it's about making memories. I've already forgotten about that, it's time to get some crabs and make a memory of eating them! But, hey, you gotta say something, it's like saying, it's the thought that counts. Sure it is. The weather is supposed to be clear with pleasant temperatures prevailing.
 I have to say it was nice having someone drive me. I could just sit back and relax. My grandson Mark is a cautious driver, although he does tend to tailgate just a bit, so I was testing that right side brake pedal. It doesn't work. Mark found that amusing. I didn't say anything though, just keep trying that brake. I could get used to being driven. I can see where having a driver would be convenient.  James, bring the car around! I can remember seeing a chauffeur bringing someone to church when I was little. Some rich person I assume. Silly me I wanted to be the chauffeur instead of the rich person! I wanted to drive that limo. Guess that is the difference between blue blood and red blood. I got the red. Beer, burgers and pick up trucks. And where did it get me?  Clogged arteries from eating burgers and a DWI driving that pick up truck. LOL Should have had a driver, a Latte and the Atkins diet. Of course if I was a blue blood that would make me a horseshoe crab! Horseshoe crabs have blue blood, did you know that? It has something to do with the copper in their blood, like copper pennies, guess that is why they have money too. But now I'm just rambling.
 So anyway today we will try again. It was fun yesterday despite the weather. Guess we showed 'em. No fair weather fisherman here. We were the only ones on that bridge. I didn't expect it would be overly crowded on a weekday morning but was surprised that no one else showed up. I'm thinking today will be different. There is plenty of room for everyone. You can fish off that bridge as well but I didn't bring a rod and reel. I really like doing one thing at a time. If I'm fishing, I'm fishing, if I'm crabbing, I'm crabbing. I do enjoy the smell of the bay and watching the gulls fly. Yesterday there was a man running a trot line and I watched him for a while. Even though there is a span next to this one with the traffic, it is nice. Sometimes I wave at the people driving across the bridge. You know, the way you wave at passing boaters when you are on the water. It's sort of a social convention.
 Also today the famous Assateague island ponies make their swim. It is such a large event, drawing thousands, that I stay away. The traffic will be horrendous. I have been to Assateague and saw the ponies roaming freely about. It is quite a sight. Went clamming there year before last and caught the last clam. I only got one so figured that must be it! It was nice though and I may go again this year sometime. It's a good drive from here, maybe if I get that driver? I don't know, soon, Mark is off to college. Maybe I can get my granddaughter to do the driving. Well for today I'm going back to Cambridge and taking another crack at those crabs. Hoping to " crack " some crabs, get it, take a crack at crabs. A good grandpa joke. Time to get up and get going. If at first you don't succeed try, try, again. That's what I was taught.   

the plan

 I'm writing this at 3:30 this morning because the plan for the day is to go crabbing. The grandkids, the wife and I figure on leaving about 5. I know, here it is over half way through July and I haven't been crabbing yet. Well having gotten the required license from the state and gathered the equipment we are ready. I did have to check those regulations, they change every year. This year we can catch only male crabs 5 and one quarter inches or larger. No females this year. Everyone wants the males anyway although I have to admit I have never been that particular. A crab is a crab and very tasty. Strangely I never acquired the taste for crabs until I moved to Maryland. It is just further evidence that so far there isn't a seafood I don't enjoy. I've had a big variety that's for sure.
 So the plan is my grandson will pick us up at 5. That's an amazing statement, my grandson will pick us up. How did we get to this point? He has an suv and more room that my car. My granddaughter is coming along too, she's bringing her boyfriend! I don't mind, in that way I can keep an eye on things. In about three weeks Mark goes off to college and will be on his own in the world. I know, I know, but that's the way it feels. Big changes are on the horizon. Morgan starts the 11th grade this year. No more little kids. But for today, we are going crabbing. It'll be like old times.
 I need to get up and get moving. I am looking forward to the day. I'm hoping the storms hold off, there is supposed to be a big change in the weather.As near as I can tell nothing happened last night, at least not around here. It's a drive of about thirty miles to get to the bridge we will be crabbing off. Times sure do change. When I was a kid a drive of thirty miles was a trip! It was practically a vacation. Now I'll drive that far to go crabbing. If you grew up where I did, you'll understand. So, enjoy the day. My plans are set. Going crabbing.    

to be clear

  Just thought I'd clear things up this morning. I keep hearing how it's the white guys that have conquered everyone else and abused them. Going back through history we see it again and again. The Europeans were always fighting with one another. They never could get along with one another, that's why the European continent comprises so many different countries. White guys conquering white guys! The Chinese just stayed to themselves for the most part, they just fought each other. They built a wall to keep others out! Worked well for centuries. At some point Asians migrated across the land bridge to the north American continent and became what we call Indians. Later the Europeans came in ships and took the land away from them. They must have forgotten about building a wall but whatever. It's those pesky white guys again. 

 But wait just a minute here. If we are going to go back in history to place blame shouldn't we go all the way back? If you are going to start placing blame, you do have to start at the beginning. Now the scientists all agree upon one thing. Man came out of Africa. That's what they say. So if we are going to go with science we would have to say it wasn't white guys. White guys didn't come out of Africa. No, the whiteness, that fair skin, is a result of adaptation. We adapted to the climate. Well because the climate has been changing since we arrived and the climate does change depending upon where you live. We are working on changing that. After we get that fixed humans will adapt to the climate change and all look alike. Be patient, we are working on that.

 But back to what I was saying. If we all came out of Africa, aren't we all black? I mean all the Europeans are white aren't they? Doesn't make any difference if they come from England, France, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, or whatever. All the Muslims are white aren't they? If not, what are they? They aren't Asians, you know yellow skinned people. But it doesn't matter because we all started out in the same place, that's what science says and science certainly can't be wrong. So just who is to blame for all of this? Seems like it is the Black guys. If they had stayed in Africa the rest of the world would be empty. No white guys at all! And if we didn't have the white guys none of this conquering would have happened in the first place. 

 There that explains that. Makes sense doesn't it? As much sense as a lot of other stuff I hear these days. Just listen to the left and you will quickly understand. It is always someone else's fault. It can be fixed though, just give them whatever you have or whatever they want. If you don't you are a racist! You are racist against the human race! Well you are racist against whatever identity they choose to call human at the moment. No requirement to be male or female! Just identify yourself as whatever. 

 Now we all know the white Europeans came to America and conquered the Indians. White guys beating up Asians who later on bombed Pearl Harbor in revenge for that I guess. The Latinos adapted to living in South America and up through the Yucatan peninsula, some living in parts of North America too, but they didn't conquer the Indians. Guess that was because their skin wasn't white, so it's all good brother. Now we have the Latinos attempting to invade the white guys lands. We should just give it back to the Asians following that reasoning, the Asians had it first. But the Asians started out in Africa, everyone did. So we are all Africans. Africans should have everything! Carried to its' logical conclusion, they do! We are all Africans and we all have what we have conquered. Really it is just a matter of what we did with what we had. It really was an equal opportunity situation in the beginning.  Equal opportunity doesn't guarantee equal results. The real culprit in all of this is climate change! If we hadn't had to adapt to the climate we would have all stayed looking the same.Fix that and the problem will be solved. When everyone looks alike what can we use as an excuse? Maybe, just maybe it will because of their culture, and not race. Nah, they're racists. 

cards and candles

 Yesterday I celebrated 66 years of being alive. Strange it doesn't seem that long, but there is that thing called time, and as Einstein pointed out, it's relative. I was overwhelmed with birthday wishes on my Facebook page. It was a reassurance. I'm aware that I can irritate some, annoy others, and make folks uncomfortable with my opinions. Despite all of that I was extended many wishes. A reassurance in humanity. I'm grateful for that, the best present you can receive is love, and I was feeling the love.
 There was a time in my life when birthdays were about cards and candles. I looked for those birthday cards and counted the candles on my cake. I still receive a few cards, there are those that still practice that ritual. I do, with certain individuals, I know they are expecting it. They expect it not for the receiving but the giving. It is a reassurance to them that all is well. That is especially true when we advance in age, a missing card can mean a missing life, a reality of living. As I celebrated my birthday I was reminded of those that are no longer here to celebrate. Too many younger than myself.
 I don't intend for this blog to be a somber thing. I am quite touched by the sheer numbers that took the time to wish me a happy birthday. It does give me pause. I don't want to ever take any of that for granted, it is not. In the politically charged climate we are living in rifts can appear in an instant. I'm just as apt to cause that rift as the next man. I'm quite certain I have done just that on more than one occasion. I can't, in all honesty, say I'm sorry. I can't apologize for being me. I can however be grateful that I am accepted and tolerated for being me. I don't know how to say what it is I'm feeling. It's not a satisfaction, it's not that emotion. It's more of a, in spite of feeling. In spite of my shortcomings I did receive those wishes. But at the same time the " in spite of " doesn't exactly describe it either. In spite of implies wrongdoing, and I don't feel wrong.
 Whatever the feeling were/are yesterday was not about cards and candles. The truth is I can't honestly say when that changed. At what age do we stop anticipating all of that. I'm guessing for most of us it is when we moved out of our childhood home and into the real world. That first birthday, away, certainly wasn't about cards and candles! I was in the Navy then, just another name in the crowd. A celebration? No, it was an excuse. Today is my birthday. It didn't mean much. Then the kids had birthdays. Yes , my kids had birthdays. Those we celebrate with cards and candles once again. Now it's grandkids. Mine are old enough that the excitement for them is diminishing. I still give them cards and candles but they aren't excited about that any more than I am. It is a ritual, not much more. Now all that is necessary is an acknowledgement. A simple Happy Birthday is sufficient to convey the message. I received that message yesterday and I am grateful.   

defining

 I thought that a blog was usually centered on a specific topic or interest. I looked up the definition to discover that isn't necessarily so. A blog is just a website or web page run by one or more people that is updated regularly and written in an informal style. That's what it says. Now having been writing one of these blogs for years I have decided for me anyway, the name really should be blab. You know, as in blabber mouth. Well at least I'm positive that some think so. I hadn't ever looked up the word blabber before and was surprised to read this definition. " To talk foolishly, mindlessly or excessively. " I can agree with the excessively part, I do tend to ramble on. I don't think it is mindlessly, foolish perhaps, I don't really expect to change any minds or opinions, but its' worth the effort anyway.

 It has become increasingly apparent to me that we need to define each word we use. There seems to be a great deal of confusion among some about what word to use. I'm thinking we will need to include a definitions list, as a footnote, to ensure we are clear about what we are saying. Wasn't that the intent of Websters' standard dictionary of the English language? It's what I used when I was in school but apparently it has been replaced. I'm not certain what we are using, the urban dictionary, the rap dictionary, the make it mean whatever you like dictionary or something else. All this may have started the first time someone said, that's cool meaning it was hot, as in I accept that proposal or action. Now changed to, it's all good, bro. Well because we are all brothers, even when one of us is a female. Brothers and Sisters! I hear that is being outlawed as sexist! I'm thinking we will have to stick with, hey you. I guess it is contextual reference that I am thinking about in those footnotes. We need to explain the context! It's really like a road sign, to keep you on track with what my thoughts are.

 I hear the phrase, words matter, a lot these days. Yes, I agree words do matter. That is exactly why we need to have a standard definition for those words. The definition of the words will define the context of the message. For instance, if someone crossed our border, without proper authorization, they have committed an offense. What is the offense. In this instance one has to understand that " offense " means breaking federal law of the United States of America. That doesn't imply a nationality, race, creed or national origin, it means a person committed an offense. It doesn't speak to the reason the offense was committed. Now, understanding that we can apply the label illegal. Yes , that person is illegal having committed an offense. Furthermore they are alien because, they belong to a foreign nation or country. That's the standard definition of an alien, pretty clear to me. So, yes if someone crosses the border without authorization they are then a illegal alien. See, that's clear, placed into context and easily understood by everyone. The acceptance of that reality is the only thing in question. But for me, " a rose by any other name, would smell as sweet. " That's what Shakespeare said meaning, the name doesn't change a thing. 

 It is this skewing of meanings that frustrates me so. Call it double talk or whatever but changing the name of things doesn't change what they are. Illegal is still illegal, in violation of established law. There are two, count them, two genders! It's true, there are only two. Now you may feel like there are more, there may be people who believe they are something different, but no matter what, there are two genders! Male and Female. That's all there are. Yes there are hermaphrodites but even they have a dominant gender. So the answer is two. Two genders. Gender being defined by chromosomes. They are either xx or xy. Xxy or xyy are the aberrations. Self identifying is not a real thing! You don't get to decide that. Self identifying is nothing more than delusional thinking. Different name, same condition. Finally the word racist is being use incorrectly all the time. What is a racist? A person that displays prejudice against people of another race. What is race? Race is concerned with the physical characteristics of person. So if I disagree with your opinion I am not a racist unless my opinion is based upon your physical characteristics. If our disagreement centers around culture ( heritage ) that is an ethnic problem. That's because ethnicity concerns your culture. I'm not being racist when I oppose your culture! All races can belong to all cultures, and, guess what, they do! I know it's an amazing revelation isn't it. But there is no name for that, racist is used instead. Why is that? Simply because your race is what I can readily see. You look different than me. I'm curious. But human instinct being what it is I am also wary. But having learned of your culture and rejected that, doesn't make me a racist. You may call me that because you feel like it is because of your physical  appearance. Why? What else have you got? Culture is subjective, 100% subjective. You obviously support yours and I mine. Then it boils down to one thing, which culture is assimilating to which culture. It is cultural assimilation that forms a nation! It isn't just people of different races! It's cultural! So quit calling me a racist. If you must call me a cultural purist. An American cultural purist. A culture based on Christian values of morals and ethics. It isn't perfect but it's America. Being an American isn't a race, it is a nationality. A nationality with a national identity. I will protect and defend that identity. Even, if you call me a racist! 

do you feel it?

 You often hear someone say there is a groundswell of support for this or that. It has become an expression to describe a slow building of a very powerful force. Having been in the Navy and experienced many groundswells I can attest to their force. They often come in waves as well, one after another. The only thing that stops them is when the hit the shore. That's when that energy is dissipated. It usually results in change. It changes the shore and the scenery.
 Now I am feeling a groundswell building. We are heading toward a change of some type. I have to say I don't have a good feeling about it either. I'm thinking there will be repercussions no matter the result. I fear the days of accepting political results, relatively peacefully, are over. Judging by the reactions from the last I can't see otherwise. I sense desperation, anger and resentment. That's all I can hear from the left. It does sound more like the cries of children that have been told no. But they still want the toy! And the right grows more determined than ever. Conciliatory has left the conversation.
 My concern grows, not for the election that is going to take place, but rather than something is going to happen before that. I'm not one for government conspiracies and all that but it does seem like distractions appear at opportune moments. I have a hunch something is going to happen. Maybe it is a self fulfilling prophecy, maybe it just a statistical certainty, but I feel like something is going to happen to change the whole discussion once again. And I say that because because as far as I'm concerned the left is losing the debate! It does take something extraordinary to happen to make an extraordinary change. And make no mistake about it what the left is proposing is extraordinary. Open borders is just the beginning. To propose we do not have a border around our country is just ludicrous. It's extraordinary! The same ones pushing for that have a border around their property to define their possessions. Even if it is only a line on the map it does give you protection. Without it, I could just use your yard for whatever purpose I want, maybe I need a little more room for expansion. Hey, no border here, just keep on going.
 Yes I feel the groundswell growing. For good or bad, I feel it. It is a nervous energy. I'm not one to be paranoid, not one to be jittery. I'm usually a pretty calm customer. Pragmatic is a word to describe my demeanor, most of the time. It's the New England upbringing. Stoic is another term that could be applied to me, although in a milder form, as I will react to things. I'd say my goal is to remain stoic but I don't always succeed. I am bracing myself for whatever is coming. Something is coming! Do you feel it?     

a lesson learned

 I saw a little piece on the news this morning. It was a human interest story about a woman that had beaten breast cancer. The story told of her struggle through thirty treatments. Now, she is cancer free. The story centered however on a small incident, one that on the surface seems amusing. You see at the end of their treatments, when these lucky souls are pronounced cancer free and leaving the facility for the last time, they ring a bell. Understandably this woman was so happy, so excited, she rang that bell enthusiastically, to say the least. She rang it so hard and fast the clapper broke! That was the source of amusement and the video shown on television.
 Now you would think that should be a story to make you smile, a heartwarming anecdote. But for me, that wasn't the case at all. December past I lost my sister to stomach cancer. When I watched that story memories came flooding back, not that those memories were far away I carry her with me everyday. But I remember talking with her. She lived in Florida and I in Maryland so talking on the phone was the best we could do. We spent many hours talking, talking about the old days, talking about family, talking, talking about most everything except cancer. She would tell me of her treatments, the ups and downs, and her hope for the future. Those conversation were usually brief, she tended to gloss over that stuff preferring to concentrate on the positive. We talked, we made plans, and we dreamed together just as we had done as children. And my big sister remained strong through it all.
 I did travel to Florida to visit with her. By that time she was pretty much bedridden, the cancer having taken its' toll. There were to be no more treatments, no more hoping against hope. She was aware, I was aware, and everyone was aware there would only be one ending to this story. Still she remained positive, still strong, reassuring. In one of our conversations she did share this with me. They had a bell where she went to get her treatments. The lucky folks would ring that bell. She confided in me a hidden resentment toward that bell. She knew she would never ring it. Yes, she was happy that others defeated that disease, yes she would smile and congratulate them. But deep down  she resented that bell.
 That is what came to mind as I watched that story on the news. You see what is positive for some can be negative for others. But I think the important thing to remember is, we all walk a different path. Even when we are going the same direction, the path may be different. But I learned from my sister just because your path is different it doesn't make it wrong. It's just the way we have to go. We don't always get to choose the path, only how we walk it. And my sister walked her path, head held high. I don't know what path am I destined to walk. I don't know if I get to ring the bell, but I do think it had to be a burden, that knowledge. Could I carry that burden? I'm lucky to be alive. A message heard, a lesson learned. 

the truth is hateful

 For a time yesterday I thought I had been placed in Facebook jail. I was unable to create a post on my timeline. That remained true for five or six hours. Then, just like that, the what's on your mind box reappeared. Perhaps it was just a mild censure or most likely, a computer glitch. My computer seems to have those frequently. Whatever the case I can create posts once again. I thanked those that offered advice and information. Later in the day it was reported that I had been hijacked! My niece said she had gotten a message from me and felt I hadn't sent it. She was right. She informed me I should change my password, which I did. Great now I have to remember that! Ah the price of cyber security. 

 During the time I thought I had been censured I did think about what I had posted earlier in the day. I couldn't recall anything I felt would warrant censorship. Yes, I had made some wise cracks, smart remarks and voiced displeasure at some political antics from the Democrats. I had posted in support of conservative views. And yes, I had discussions with those that read the New York Times as their Bible. That's where I figured opposition would originate if  I had been " reported " as disagreeable. Oh well, I thought, this too shall pass. I do believe that Facebook is a free entertainment and they can block whomever they choose, for whatever reason they choose. It does belong to Zuckerberg after all is said and done. It's his ball and he can take it and go home whenever he likes. I admit I felt inconvenienced in some way. I had to remind myself that it is just an amusement, not a right! The Constitution does not say I have a right to Facebook. 

 I'm thinking now that all in all it was a positive experience. It did give me pause to think about what I had been posting. I was reminded that it is an amusement only, not a lifeline. And I was made aware that it could be withheld from me at any time. Now I didn't come away feeling contrite, no, the feeling was quite the opposite. I felt a bit indignant. I mean, one of those New York Times commentators had remarked, " you sure are a nice guy to be around " I think it was sarcasm but I answered, you're correct, I'm a delight. So you see that's why I took it as an affront! Why would I be censured? But then I did calm myself and it became clear. I had presented facts to support my opinion, facts that were irrefutable to those I was speaking with, I quoted the Times, and that surely angers those folks. They sure hate it when that happens. I can empathize, I've had it happen to me as well. You start talking about something, you don't have all the facts, then the person you're talking with gives you the facts. You protest only to find the next sentence in your reference pointed that out. You didn't read that sentence! Crap, I hate it when that happens.

  Wondering what the source of this censure might be I had to look at the bigger picture. I had to remind myself, Facebook isn't about me, it is about society. Yes, Facebook is a microcosm of our society. A bit bolder perhaps, shall we say less inhibited, but a reflection of what people are thinking and saying. Where do I fit into that society? Had I been censured you would have to say I was rejected by that society. Well at least by the powers that be controlling that society. Is this a reflection of things to come? In the future, will American society censure those that speak out in opposition? Will you be censured for your thoughts? It has begun, on a limited basis. Did we not make laws calling some speech " hate? " Here's what the law says is hate speech, " speech that attacks a person or a group on the basis of protected attributes such as race, religion, ethnic origination, national origin, sex, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity. " First we must define just what is an attribute? Another word for that is characteristic. So what this law is saying is anytime you attack a persons characteristics, it is hate speech! A serial killer could be said to have the characteristic mentality of a savage. Would that be hate speech? According to the law, yes. Can't say that. You are subject to prosecution. Interesting to note is that gender identity is included as an attribute. In the face of scientific, biological evidence, you can't say a male is a male if he says he is a female. To do so is hate speech! Think about that. To speak the truth is hateful. 

 And so I did figure it out. I hadn't really been censured, prevented from posting by the powers that be, but know why I could be. You have to be careful what truth you tell. If that truth is an " attribute " to whoever, and you speak out in opposition, that's hateful! You can be silenced. Talk about a totalitarian regime. Now it is Zuckerbergs regime I'll give him that, as much as I disagree with his rules, it is his kingdom to rule as he sees fit. But it did open my eyes to a larger threat, the removal of the first amendment. This " hate " speech legislation is a chip in that wall. Censure the media and you censure the public, the society in general. Who is left to legislate? Think about that.  

agreeing

 Qui tacet consentire videtur. That is a Latin phrase meaning " he who is silent is taken to agree. " It is used mostly in International Politics and referred to as a tacit agreement. In the contract world it doesn't really apply as a valid precept. But in everyday life, in the real world , I would say that it is indeed a valid observation. All the really classic philosophers spoke Latin. Those philosophers had a tendency to be direct, concise and clear in their thoughts. That's probably why we still quote them to this day. Truth is eternal. And it's true, Qui tacet consentire videtur.
 Why is this important? I'd say it is the basis for our Republic. We are given the right to vote. That right to vote is our voice, we get to dissent! Isn't that what voting is all about. We often think that voting is just choosing to support the candidate we like. We should be using that vote to speak out against what we don't agree with. If you don't vote, you agree. You agree to support whoever is elected. That is true whether you vote or not. Yes, you do agree to that. But to agree to that without exercising that voice, is just tacit approval. You are saying, I don't care!
 Now my Mom often says, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. What does she mean by that? It is just a method to avoid conflict. If you don't say anything at all you are agreeing. People don't argue with those that agree with them. The problem with that is, no ideas are exchanged. Without the exchange of ideas how can we resolve anything? Silence will keep the peace, that can't be denied. If are going to do that why have a Republic? Just pick a dictator and let him/her decide whatever. With no one dissenting we can live in a Utopian society, everyone agrees.
 Now I'm not one to be silent. I never was, and never will be. It isn't because of some higher calling, a sense of social justice. No it's because that's who I am. Maybe it's because I was the youngest in the family. I had to speak up or be continually silent. I couldn't physically challenge them but I could verbally challenge them. I employed sarcasm, wit, wisdom and facts to sway the opinion of the others. I still do that! I'm well aware of that. If I don't agree you will know it. Whether it does any good or not isn't the issue, the purpose is to speak up. If we have to agree to be friends, that isn't a friendship, its' an agreement. What I mean is, Qui tacet consentire videtur, He who is silent is taken to agree.  You can be " friends " as long as you agree. Not much of a friendship is it? 
 It is much easier to speak up when you are not in the physical presence of another person. We are more polite in person aren't we? Yes, as a general rule we are indeed. I see that changing a bit in today's society, a topic I have written about in the past. People are becoming more " offensive " rather than " defensive " in their demeanor. The strategy today being, strike first! Impose your will upon the other before they get a chance to impose theirs, be forceful. Strangely enough, the reason for doing so is you are " offended! " A bit of a contradiction. But when we can just type our responses into cyberspace relatively free of consequence, the game changes drastically. That's why we form " groups " little communities of like minded folks. Same as in real life! Amazing isn't it? No, it's reality. And then in those groups fractures begin to appear. The only way to avoid expanding those fractures is by silence. Silence gives consent. The only question being, how long can you remain silent? For me, it isn't very long. I'll speak up whether I agree or disagree. I want everyone to understand how I feel. No guessing. Whether you like it or not is your decision to make, not mine. About whatever the topic is I mean and you are entitled to that. Also the reason I don't stay silent. Qui tacet consentire vedetur.  

relatively speaking

 It's one of those things. It happens to all of us after a certain age. Einstein had a formula for it. It's called relativity. Of course he was concerned with time, but I'm talking about relatives. I was talking with my Mom yesterday afternoon and she mentioned one of the cousins. Now I haven't seen this cousin in over fifty years, although she has been mentioned. I did have some brief Facebook interface with her a few years back. So Mom says, did you know Elizabeth is going to be sixty. What? How can that be, I thought. She's just a kid! She is quite a bit younger than I and I'm only sixty six, and sixty six isn't old. Strangely, sixty is pretty old for Elizabeth! Do you know what I mean? Now that's relativity! Stranger still, it also applies with non-relatives. So maybe time isn't relative at all but a universal constant. I don't know what Einstein would have to say about that. Well whatever the case may be, I'm always shocked when it happens.
 I can't say with certainty the last time I saw Elizabeth. She was young enough that her father still called her Dolly. No explanation for that, it is just what her Dad called her. I expect when she got a bit older her friends didn't call her Dolly. But I was 18 when I left for the Navy and she would have been 12 at that time. So you can understand, to me, she was just a kid. That's the way it is at that age. At eighteen I'm feeling like a grown man and a twelve year old is just a kid. That's relativity. Our parents are always old, they just keep getting older. Older siblings the same way. Now I can't say about younger siblings, I never had any of those, but I expect they would remain " kids " in the same our own children do. Yeah mine are forty one and I say to the wife, have you heard from the kids? She knows who I'm talking about. It's relativity. But now I'm sixty six, almost, and that isn't old. Sure its' enough to draw social security, retirement, and get the senior discount, but it's not old. It's just the beginning of that time in my life where I get to enjoy myself. I don't have to go to school, or work! I've reached that goal, climbed the mountain.
 It is a bit of a shock to climb that mountain to discover your cousin, that kid, is old! That's right, she is old. My god, she's sixty. Surely I must have been dragging my feet somewhere along the way. She has almost caught up with me. I don't know for sure but she could be a grandmother by now. Grandparents are old people, well except for the wife and I, we're not old. I don't know, some things just age at different speeds I guess. It's like new curtains in your house, just bought them a little while ago, then you realize it's been ten years! There are lots of things like that, animate and inanimate, makes no difference.
 It is something that I have noticed. You know it works that way with the value of a dollar too. What I sometimes call, old peoples money. Now old people's money has greater value than young money. Maybe that is why you hear talk about the " old " money being more powerful, more influential, than new money. It takes more new money to equal the value of the old money. It's like this. Your grandfather gives you fifty dollars as a gift. To grandpa, that's a lot of money. almost a weeks pay! You look at it smiling, grateful, and thank him, all the while thinking, if I save this and get another fifty, I can buy a pair of shoes. That's also relativity. It also involves time. Have you gone to a movie lately? Now that is a measure of time, money and relativity. I remember going when the movies didn't come with warning labels, the tickets weren't in the double digits, and you could buy popcorn, candy and a drink for under two dollars. And you could relate to the movie! They weren't all superheroes, drug dealers or some alien fantasy stuff. Yes, they were good wholesome entertainment. Now that's relativity.

it's not fair

 Immature: not fully developed. That is one definition of the word, although we tend to think of someone thinking or acting like someone younger when we hear that term. Yes, they are the same, not fully developed, immature. I thought of this particular word this morning and thought it applies perfectly to the Democratic platform. Their ideas and proposals are immature, not fully developed. In short I don't think any of them have thought a thing through to its' logical conclusion. And that is the big frustration for me. At the end of the day you do have to make a  practical mature decision. You have to deal with what is, not what we wish it were. That is the beginning of progress.
 Take the current immigration crisis for example. What is the democratic approach, what is there platform? Open borders, charity for all. Just come in and we will take care of you. Yes, it's a noble sentiment, very emphatic, and the moral high ground. Sounds like a child saying, Daddy can I have the puppy! Obviously they have given no thought to the logistics of that scenario. Let's begin with funding. Where does the money come from to support thousands of people? According to Giving USA Americans donated over 410 Billion, yes that billion with a b, to charity in 2018 alone. I'd say that was pretty generous. We all know that money isn't enough to support the causes we already have, let alone add thousands of more people to that role. The cost is a staggering figure yet the Democrats keep asking, Daddy can I have the puppy. An immature thought! I fail to see how any logical person could conclude that it is a prudent decision to just fling open the border. Are these people flinging the doors to their homes and refrigerators open to anyone that wants to walk in? You can bet they are not.
 What are the Democrats proposing? Healthcare for all, as a human right! Their position being, if you are a human you should get free healthcare. No concern for how it is going to be funded, how it will be applied equally across all social and financial stations. No, just provide free health care to everyone! This from the same people that tell me healthcare includes killing babies! And healthcare includes assisting in suicides! No worries, the government will decide upon what healthcare you receive. Now if you are terminally ill there would be no need to throw good money after bad, just pull the plug on that! Ah, but its' free right? Well at least the very basic services would be, anything too costly would have to be trimmed from the list. No different than Mom buying your clothes for school really. You give her a list of designer fashions and she buys your clothes at Walmart! You got the basic plan. Mom made the mature decision. The financially prudent decision. She didn't expect the neighbor to " chip in " so you could have designer clothes! But that is what socialized medicine is all about. I should pay for your medical needs regardless of whether you contribute or not! It's free for everyone! Of course you do have to accept a reality, nothing is free. But that requires maturity, something the Democrats seem to be lacking.
 And the Democratic platform also includes this gem, ignore the law whenever that law doesn't suit your purposes. That's why we have sanctuary cities and states " legalizing " pot. Their platform says law enforcement agencies do not have to work together or cooperate with one another. If one agency doesn't like the law they don't have to help enforce that! No different than a child at the Daycare, I don't like little Billy so I don't have to pick up his toys! No, it doesn't matter if I also used those toys, it doesn't matter if yesterday little Billy picked up my toys. All that matters is how I feel!  A state can decide to not enforce a federal law if they don't like it. Mostly if that law impacts a revenue stream, then we will ignore that. We will just ignore the Supremacy clause in the Constitution. Well that's because we don't like it, this time. Again like a child, just stomping their feet and saying no.
 Yes in the end all I see from the Democrats is immaturity. I don't believe they don't understand or comprehend the situation. I'm not saying these folks are stupid, I am saying they are immature. Listen closely to their arguments. What you will hear is akin to listening to a child convince you he needs a new bicycle. The object is to get what you want, at any cost. No thought for the good of the whole, just me. The biggest argument? It isn't fair! But it isn't fair! That's not fair. 
  

DIY

 I've seen the commercials about buying insurance for your home and auto repairs. The pitch being something is going to break and you will need someone to fix it. Yes, that's true, something will break . I honestly can't say the last time I hired someone to fix something for me. I can't remember ever having an electrician, plumber, carpenter or painter come to my house. I don't hire anyone to do that stuff. I just do it myself. If it is beyond my capability I just buy a new one or do without. That is the way I was raised, not by design, but by necessity. In my house you either fixed it, made a new one, or went without. I admit it can be challenging at times, and frustrating. That is especially so with these computers, but I'm learning. I've replaced a few because I couldn't figure out what the heck to do but it was still cheaper that hiring a repair man. You see the thing is, if you want something done right, do it yourself has always been my motto. I can't bear to watch others doing work without wanting to help. I guess that is why I'm not wealthy, I'd go crazy watching others do stuff for me. I just couldn't stand it. I'm very uncomfortable in that situation, I have to help or leave.
 I am always amazed at people that don't know how to do stuff for themselves. How can you drive a car without having a clue how it works? How can you not know what to do for a dripping faucet or clogged toilet? You don't know how to hook up a ceiling fan or wire a lamp? There are so many things I discover that others really have no clue about and I'm amazed. Ninety five per cent of the time repairs are quite simple and you can figure out what's wrong using common sense. It's even easier with the internet, just google it! But then I wonder, is this the new normal or has it always been that way and I just didn't know it? I've always thought hiring a repair man was something the rich folks do. Why would I pay you to change the oil in my car, or change the tire? The window broke in my house, measure it, get a piece of glass and some putty, fix it. It's that simple. And now there is a whole industry concerning that, Do It Yourself. We just called it getting by, or making do. You either did it yourself or it didn't get done.
 I guess I get this attitude from my father. He did it all himself. I did witness him hiring a tv repair man when his Quasar works in a drawer color television quit working. That would have been about 1968. He looked in there and there were no tubes! What the heck are you going to do with that? The man came, slid out the drawer, replaced a circuit card and charged fifty dollars! I was given a color television once, man said it was a lightening strike and that television no longer worked. I took it home, replaced the in-line fuse and enjoyed it for years. I couldn't believe someone wouldn't know enough to check for a fuse. Dad did it all, plumbing, electrical, mechanical or whatever was needed at the time. I can also do a bit of everything. But I also think like my father did, can't everyone? He certainly expected people to have at least a basic understanding of how things were built and how they worked. He would say to me, before you can fix it you have to know how it works and why. He's right about that. If you know how and why you can figure out the, why not! It is also true that if you don't know, you should probably keep your fingers out of it! Time to do some studying. Now these computers are a bit of a puzzle to me but it's not the hardware it's getting the programs to run. And dang it, they don't have tubes in them either! What are you supposed to do with that? Very frustrating when they turn on and still don't work. Still I insist on trying to do it myself. I don't think that will ever change.
 Just like my dad it isn't that I believe I know so much, it is more that I can't believe others know so little. I wonder just what do they know? But then again I am one of those people that isn't an expert at anything. I'm more a jack of all trades and master at none. I'm okay with that, variety is the spice of life. I do get bored easily. I need a change in the daily routine. Being retired is the most exciting job I've ever had! It's great to be the boss, well almost, I am married. Just kidding, it's a co-op in my house, decisions are made by mutual agreement. Ties go to the mutual.
 I do wonder about others. How can you have a college degree yet no so little about life skills. At least that is what I call the things I know, life skills. The things you need to know to get by in life. Things like fixing stuff around the house, basic repairs. Things like knowing how to shut the water off in case of a pipe bursting, or turning off the power to the house. How to fix the lawnmower or jump start the car. Repairing the drywall or doing the flooring. Things like that. Things that you should be able to do yourself. I wonder, aren't they curious? Don't they want to know how or why something works? Don't they have any desire to do it themselves? I mean, I try to sing and play the guitar knowing full well I'll never be a pro at it. Doesn't stop me from trying and wanting to know. I know very little about computers, I also know I will never really master them, doesn't mean I don't want to know how and why. At the very least I can understand what someone is talking about on a basic level. And that is the beginning. Start there and you can, do it yourself.  

Parlors & Porches

 I was watching the Waltons when it occurred to me. We often hear the world could use more front porches, but I think what we really need are more parlors. Parlors were the formal reception area for our guests. It is where polite conversations were held and courtships began. They do harken back to a more genteel society. At least publicly it was, and I don't think that is a bad thing. Perhaps if we all could just step into the parlor some of the anger and hostility would be dissipated. Not that conflict didn't occur in those parlors, but I think that is where the phrase, let's step outside, began. There is a proper place for all things after all.
 I got to thinking about how our homes have changed over the years. I remember when formal dining rooms were a common thing. I believe that has fallen from favor in the design of new homes. Remember when the family room became a thing? I certainly do and the Brady Bunch is to blame for that. They had a family room, of course they also had a maid. But when I was growing up we had a living room. That's what we called it, even though it is were the television and dad's stereo console stayed. Our kitchen was definitely a separate room and you ate in there. Nowadays a " eat in " kitchen is an oddity. Most homes today go with the great room concept. Strangely that is how the cabins our forefathers built were designed, one great room. As progress was made we added rooms. Then we added porches and parlors. Maybe the last great improvement was the addition of closets. At first closets were small, shallow and dark. Now we make them " walk in " and can be bigger than another room in the house! We definitely require far more storage space for our stuff than say, a hundred years ago. That is especially true with clothing and shoes.
 Something I do miss are screen doors and open windows. I remember the front door being held open with a door stop. Mom had a cast iron cat that served that purpose. I had made her one, a dog, in shop class that she used for a while. It worked by sticking a wedge under the door. Kids today probably wouldn't know anything about any of that. And those double hung windows that rattled in their frames. When the cord broke you just got a stick to prop the window open. Remember changing the screens for storm windows? It's true those designs weren't much on home security but you sure could feel the outdoors while indoors! I loved listening to all the night sounds when lying in bed on a hot, humid night. When small I didn't like whip-or-wills for some unknown reason but today I find myself missing that sound. Today the windows and doors are closed and locked most of the time. The air conditioning or heat is going and you are isolated from the outdoors.
 Back in the day you would invite someone to step into the parlor. There they would be received, as the saying goes. What does that mean? It means listened too. If you are received as my guest it means I will listen to you, pay attention to you, I accept the gift of your presence. I received a gift. Less formally the front porch served the same purpose. At the same time the front porch did afford a degree of separation. You did have front door guests, front porch acquaintances, and those that could us the back door. Those coming in the back door were considered family. Now I will invite you into my sanctuary. That's what our homes have become, our sanctuaries from a hostile world and hostile environments. Tiny fortresses of solitude. Our parlors have disappeared and porches replaced with decks. And decks are almost always in the back yard. Probably the reason few of us know the neighbors anymore. Not too many people out taking walks and waving at the neighbors sitting on their front porch. Isn't that the difference between a porch and a deck. Porches are for relaxing and enjoying pleasant conversations. Decks however conjour up a different image altogether. Decks are for bar-b-cue and parties. Nothing relaxing about being on deck!
 If I say parlor what do we think of today? Tattoos and beauty, although the later is falling out of favor I think. Do women still go to the beauty parlor? I'm thinking they just say stylist these days. Parlors are old fashioned. Of course we really don't say tattoo's anymore, now it's getting inked. Well at least the cool people say that. Step into the parlor and get some ink. Things sure have changed.   
  

subjectively objective

 The history that I know. It is that history that I write about and record. A history from a different perspective. That's true for each of us. Our view of history is tainted by our beliefs. Personal history is subjective, whereas others peoples history is objective. Well that's true but the objectivity is dependent upon how close you are to the other person. In short, it's often difficult to talk bad about your momma! Objectivity can be lost in that situation. That is also true with politics. When we adopt a particular policy based on our own wants or needs, we can lose objectivity. Mostly that is the case when that policy will cost us something on a personal level. It is far easier to be objective with other peoples money.
 It is this balance between objectivity and subjectivity that arises so much passion in people. The pro side will usually argue for objectivity, we must remain objective. this is the objective decision. That certainly sounds like the way to go doesn't it? We all want an objective opinion, an objective judgement. But can you form an objective opinion without first having formed a subjective view? Perhaps if you were Solomon but not if you're the average person. You have to remember even the decisions of Solomon didn't directly effect him and that's the rub isn't it? It's pretty easy to make a decision that satisfies the needs of the many, when you are not one of the many. The very reason politicians and legislatures often exclude themselves from their decisions. Obamacare is a prime example of that. It's a tremendous plan, it's so great we will exclude ourselves from its' mandates. That is one form of objectivity. Immunity is often granted to those making the rules. It's the do as I say, not as I do mentality. Really a subjective decision as it benefits the one making the rule.
 That's true even if it is just a short term gain, ie: votes. It's a ploy politicians have been using forever. I don't expect that will change anytime in the near future either, In fact, I can't see it ever changing. But I was talking about history. History is a subjective thing. The current trend is to find someone to blame for history. The object is not to define or explain that history, the object is to place blame. In that way the hope is to gain an advantage of some type. The object there being, make history beneficial to me! Hey it's an objective view of history, you did this to me. The narrative being you are responsible for the past. That's correct, you are responsible for the past in the objective view. For that reason you need to make it right. Subjectively objective.
 I have nothing to gain by the recording of history. It's not like I'm getting paid to present a point of view. It was that way at one time, when journalists were paid for their views. More often today the journalist is paid to support the opinion of his employer. It's the only reason I can think of for some of the articles I read in major newspapers and television broadcasts. There certainly isn't any objectivity being shown. I remember when a reporter did just that, reported. He or she reported the facts as they knew them to be, no opinion, just the facts. It's what I try to write, the facts. Yes my facts are subjective. I make no pretense of objectivity. I record my history the way I see it. I do hope that one day someone will read that history, from an objective viewpoint, and gain some insight into the past. That's what I'm attempting to do, explain the past. I'm not interested in placing blame, I'm just trying to understand. If you want to know what you believe, write. Of course then the important part of that is to read what you wrote. Do you understand? For me, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. And who is to blame for that? 

exceptional justice

 This is the case and what is the cause? We have reached a point where we don't care about the case, just the cause. At least that is the way I see it a great deal of the time. The crime was committed but why? What was the motivation? That is what is being concentrated on these days. It's almost as if we knew why someone did what they did, we could prevent someone else from doing the same thing. The truth is, in most cases knowing the motivation isn't going to change a thing. Man has been motivated by the same emotions since the beginning of time, and you are not going to change that! The old adage applies, : " you can please some of the people some of the time. you can please all the people some of the time but you can't please all the people all the time. " When people aren't pleased ( happy ) bad things happen. 

 So why have we become so focused on the why? It has to do with the application of justice. That's what you will hear. It depends on why I did the wrong. If I did wrong for the right reason, it isn't as wrong. That's the theory isn't it? The defense is concerned with the why, the prosecution just presents the case. Exceptions to the rule. That's what we all want to be, the exception. A long time ago I wrote about this mentality, the exception. I called those people the " Butimas. " That is pronounced But I'm Ah. You've met these folks before. They begin almost every sentence with that phrase, butima. They are exempt from courtesy and the rules. They will go on to explain their motivation for feeling the way they do. 

 The whole problem with this system of, justice by motivation, is justice is seldom served. Instead the one committing the offense is appeased. It's alright, you had a good reason, or no reason, or you were unreasonable, but it's not your fault the law is unreasonable. No law has ever been written that contained exceptions! If that were the case we wouldn't call it law, we would call it suggestions! Yes many crimes come with suggested sentences to be applied according to the judges discretion. That's the way it works with the laws of man. The law of God doesn't contain suggested sentences or suggested behaviors. There are moral absolutes. If something is wrong, it is always wrong morally. But we are talking about civil law, the law of civilization. In our republic the people decide upon the law, that's the way it was designed to work. A government of the people. And what is the purpose of government? To govern the actions of its' citizens, among other administrative functions.  

 Exceptional justice or justice that is exceptional? We are all aware that the more money you have, the more lenient the justice. Is that a perception or the reality? I'd say, sadly, it's the reality. It has always been so and that will remain unchanged. At first it was just the wealthy, those that could afford a team of attorneys to present your motivation for doing whatever it is that you did. It is there job to put the spin on things and by legal machinations subvert justice. Today you can just finance that. Just turn on the television and wait, before long the advertisement will come along. You don't need money to pursue your case, we will do it for you. Of course they will take a sizable cut of any settlement obtained, but hey, it didn't cost you anything. Now that's justice! You can always employ the " butima " clause. I'm a minority, I'm a single mother, I'm a Veteran, I'm a senior, I'm a disadvantaged youth and the list goes on. All exceptions to the rule.That's what I call exceptional justice. 

 We have come so far in this exceptional justice system that we even apply it to the law of God. All you have to do is ask for forgiveness. You are granted forgiveness and clemency every time. As long as you ask, there is no condemnation! Sure you tell others that what they are doing is wrong, against the laws of God, but you can't tell them there are consequences. By doing that you are passing judgement! And you mustn't judge, ever. By not judging there can not be right or wrong. Well because that is what a judge does, determine whether you broke the law or not. If you can provide a good enough excuse, an acceptable motivation, it's not a breach of the law. Only the judge can decide that! Doesn't matter how many time you do that wrong, each offense is nothing more than a relapse. You can't be held accountable for a relapse. That's not your fault. You get another chance. You are the exception! 

 It has been said an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and I agree. The thing is there are things for which there is no cure. You can not cure man. You will not change mans' thoughts or motivations. There are those that will comply, follow the law, and there are those that will not. And surprisingly it has little to do with wealth, position or anything else. It is based solely on the perceptions of the offender. It does depend upon the " butima " mentality. Teach your citizens that they are the exception to the rule, and soon there are no rules. So what's the answer? I'm not certain I can provide one. It has also been said we fear the unknown and I can understand that. Thing is we should also fear the certainty! If you break the law, this is the result. Was that way once. It was that way with God too, I believe it still is but that's for another day. Are we acting in the interest of justice or in the removal of consequence? That's the question to be answered. 

reward

 If you believe that intelligence made this universe, and everything in it, you have to believe that everything has a purpose. Much has come and gone over millennia, so I can only assume they served their purpose and are no longer required. That would include plants, animals, environment, and indeed human beings. I mean it would make no sense for intelligence to create all of this for no reason whatsoever, for its' own amusement. Personally I label that intelligence, God. Yes, I was instructed in that theory, that belief. Call it a hypothesis if you like. Belief and reality are often different things entirely. What is most important to man is his belief! For it is belief that motivates man. No matter the desired result, it is belief that motivates. 

 With man the objective is not to fulfill that purpose and be done, no, we expect a reward for doing so. That is the basis for the idea of life after death. I can see no other explanation for that. We just can't be content with being. Why should we behave in accordance with societal norms if there is no reward for doing so? Why not just act as we please? Beyond the obvious, we could be ostracized, isolated, persecuted, imprisoned or killed, what is the motivation to comply? A promise of something more is the answer. Something beyond death. The continuation of life, only better than life! Yes, we want something more. 

 Now we are just a tool in the universe. We are here for a purpose. When that purpose has been fulfilled, we are gone. That is a pragmatic approach to life. It doesn't mean our purpose wasn't important, that we didn't matter, but it does remove the reward. It is the removal of reward that troubles us, we feel used. Would a God create us just to use us for his/her purpose? Well, he/she might create us for a purpose, in fact I believe that is the case. Do I need to know that purpose? No, I don't need to know that purpose to fulfill that purpose. I'm not the one in control here. Still the intelligence that created me also gave me the ability to think, to reason, and to wonder. I'm not a robot, dedicated to a single purpose, a single function. For that reason I do not have a single purpose, I have many. I was also given the ability to enjoy the wonders around me. Perhaps that alone is the reward. Perhaps instead of receiving one big reward the reward is seeing a sunrise over the water, a bird sitting on a limb or the smile of your grandchildren. Perhaps those things are the reward. In those things I do find motivation. As for belief, the best I can offer is the statement, I believe. I believe I'm here for a reason, to serve a purpose, perform some function that is indispensable. After all, an intelligent being wouldn't create something for no reason whatsoever. Life is mine to enjoy, my purpose is beyond my control. When a craftsman creates an object, does the object expect a reward? Well the craftsman may admire the object, and for the object, that is enough.  

the goal

 I watched the U.S.  women soccer team win the world cup yesterday. It was a good game, fun to watch and exciting. I did so despite the one dissenter that had to embarrass America and herself on a public stage. I fail to understand why disrespecting our country and our flag makes her, or anyone else feel, like they are making a statement! The only thing you are saying as far as I'm concerned is, I'm an ingrate! But enough on that. She will just fade away now that the game is over.
 I have seen several articles, and the morning news mentioned it, pay inequality! The women's soccer team aren't getting paid the same as the men's team. It's true, there is no disputing that fact. Thing is, it has nothing to do with gender, it has to do with revenue. Athletes and entertainers pay are consummate with their ability to generate revenue. It's as simple as that. That's all there is to it. Still these ladies will each receive about 250,000 dollars. Not bad for playing a game. I don't know what there salaries are over the course of the year. I'm not up on any of that. I just feel if you are talented enough to make a living by playing a game, you are already blessed. I realize it isn't easy, it takes long hours of practice, it takes dedication and sacrifice. But, in the end, when you are doing your job, you have hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of people cheering for you. Now that's something most people will never experience. You might get to be employee of the month and get a temporary parking spot, maybe a gift card to Lowes or something, but a cheering crowd admiring you? I don't think so. It is that cheering crowd, that admiration, that pays your salary! The size of the crowd determines the size of the salary!
 Athletes and entertainers. We are willing to pay a great deal of money to be amused by them. That's the simple truth of it, they are an amusement. There purpose is to distract us from the woes of everyday life. They can serve as role models, well they used to do that anyway. The role of hero has certainly changed in my opinion. The traits being admired today are definitely at odds with what I admired. Yes my heroes had faults, they were human, but they didn't advertise those faults as badges of honor! No, they kept their private lives private as much as possible and the press gave them that privilege. Our perceptions are our realities. As far as I knew Mickey Mantle just played ball, I didn't know a thing about his political views, sexual preferences or world view! Fact is, I didn't care, he was a ball player.
 Now all of that isn't meant in a negative way towards those athletes and entertainers. They are people just like you and I. They have been given a gift and have chosen to use that gift. It doesn't mean that haven't been given other gifts as well. They could be intellectuals as well. The ability to entertain others whether through sports or any other medium doesn't negate that. It's just that I feel if you are going to complain about how much you are getting paid for entertaining others, maybe entertaining others isn't your thing. If a carpenter or mechanic isn't happy with his pay, he finds a new employer! 
“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.” Maya Angelou