Saturday, June 1, 2019

contributing

 Finding where you fit. Isn't that what we spend our lives doing? That is the pursuit of happiness the founding fathers were talking about. Happiness is being comfortable with who you are and with what you are doing. There are outside forces that wish to direct you, but it's the inner force that provides happiness. Expectations from others and expectations from ourselves form that balance. Every day the scales are tipping one way or another. Tomorrow is another day is a common adage. Tomorrow will be different. That's true even when every day seems the same.
 Finding where you fit will define your purpose. Like a piece in a puzzle it will complete a picture. We all belong somewhere, of that I have no doubt. I think we must begin by examining the big picture. Like looking at the picture on the box of puzzle pieces, we need to see the big picture. Some of us will be the border, and some the interior. Some are the subjects and some are nothing more than the background. Things is, you need all the pieces to complete the puzzle. Until you find the place you fit, it is incomplete.
 It is something I find myself thinking about. I'm 65 years old, soon to be 66. I've done a bunch of stuff, been a bunch of places. No one thing defines me. I guess the major accomplishment, if you want to call it that, was having spent twenty years in the Navy. I'm a veteran. So are 18.2 million others. So taking that in context, not a very significant part in a bigger picture. Certainly a good contribution to my little section of that picture though. It has had a positive effect on my immediate family. I've had several other occupations contributing to the workforce, utilizing whatever talents I have to offer. But I'm retired now so what is the contribution to be? It doesn't feel right to say, the contribution is solely to myself. We are all a part of something bigger, something better. Isn't that what those founding fathers believed? When they said, the pursuit of happiness they were thinking about the future. Specifically they had in mind a land where men could live free. Free to pursue their dreams, free to pray to whatever God they chose and the freedom to act upon those wishes. The goal is to make a contribution, to be a good citizen.
 But I feel like I want to be a bit more than a piece in the background. I feel like I have more to give than that. I also believe that the majority of us feel that same way. It is a part of the human condition. Some seek to satisfy that need with the acquisition of wealth. We call that being successful. That's what we say about those that have a lot of money, no matter the method used to attain that wealth. They are successful. It says nothing about their character however, just that they are successful. At the same time we all will say, you don't need money to be a success. Money isn't everything! Well, my mom had a little figurine of a hobo that sat on the shelf next to the fireplace. He had a little sign hanging around his neck that read, Money isn't everything, but it beats whatever is in second place. I chuckle at the sentiment and the truth in it. Money can't buy you happiness , that is true, but it can sure keep you distracted. But does money make you a success? My thinking is, only to others, although I can't say from personal experience. If that ever happens I'll be sure to write a follow up.
 So, I'm left thinking about what my contribution is to be. Where do I fit into the big picture. It'll only be a guess because the picture isn't complete until I'm gone. That is the only time the final analysis can be made. Truth is, I'm thinking I will never know the answer. But, maybe I will, I'm not sure how informed you are after death. First question I want answered is, do you know that you are dead?  Then, can you hear what they are saying about you, outside of the polite remarks at your funeral that is. Will they say, he was a success? Depends doesn't it. How do you measure success? 

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