I had packed away my old photographs and mementos in the attic. But I was asked to provide a copy of a particular one for a friend. I am always happy to do that and a bit flattered as well. To have others show interest in your memories is a compliment. So, I went to the attic and brought down the box. I call that collection the archives. I began searching for that picture and of course got distracted a bit. Pictures have a way of doing that, sending you down different roads.I did find that picture however, along with a few others that I set aside for future use. As I packed the archives up once again I thought about what will happen to them in the future. What happens when I am gone? Not that I plan on going anywhere anytime soon but my memory may have other plans that I don't know about! But whatever the case turns out to be, I want those items saved and talked about. You see the pictures from my childhood, and before, are mostly mysterious things to my wife and children. My wife didn't grow up in my hometown, in fact she has never been there, and so only knows what I tell her. Not that I don't talk,talk,talk, about all of that but I don't expect her to remember much .
This isn't the first time I have considered all of this. It happens every time I drag out that box. I have considered putting all those photos in an album but have rejected that idea. It certainly saves the pictures but there is little room for explanations. They say a picture is worth a thousand words but unless you write something, they are silent. Then there is the problem of those little momentos. You know the type of thing I mean? Little items saved over time that mean little without explanation. Handmade items, items you treasured. All relics from the past. So, I thinking maybe I should try something different. I'm thinking I need to make a catalogue. If I were to number each item I could then provide a description/explanation for those items. Now I realize that not all items, especially pictures, would have a description of much length but a description nonetheless. It's my feeling they are far less likely to be discarded if you can identify them. Surely you couldn't throw out great, great, great grandfather!
Several years ago I was given a book. It is a rather large volume and contains blank pages. That's it, all the pages are blank. I have considered what to do with it and now may have found a use for it. Perhaps I'll use it for recording those items. If stored with the box it could act as a sort of catalog. A catalog of memories! My memories. It's an interesting idea and one that would take some time to complete. That has always been the issue, the time it takes and maintaining that interest. It is a boring task no doubt about that. The thing is I don't want to leave any secrets. There were and still are secrets in my past that I seek the answers too. I realize that for some the answer will never be known. You can't know what the mind of a person was unless they tell you. When that person has been deceased for one hundred and fifty years that's difficult. Still I wish I had an answer. I want to know the why of the past not just the what. It's the why that fascinates us. Call it historical gossip if you like. I think a great deal of the " why " of history is just that, gossip. History is told by the victor is an old adage and holds much truth. My history would be no different. I did say I didn't want to leave any secrets but that isn't exactly true. There are things best left to history, things just between you and your God.
The funny thing about history is that it can offend today. Never in history has that been more evident. Just look at the removal of statues as an example. Those statues are offensive. We are now talking about reparations for the past. These reparations are to be paid to people that weren't even alive at the time of the offense. Their parents weren't alive either! Some are offended by the truth. There are moments in history to be celebrated, and moments in history to be mourned, but all history should be remembered. For that reason I hesitate. I wouldn't want to offend anyone. I am torn between telling the whole story and just glossing over some areas. Do I have the right to tell others secrets? Isn't that what gossiping is all about? Nobody likes a gossip, but everyone is fascinated with gossip, there is a whole industry based on that premise. We reprimand the one telling, while listening intently to the story. But is it gossip if you are telling the truth? That's the justification we like to use, just stating the facts. I'm not certain that justification is enough. Is it alright to upset others when you are assured it will not affect you? I mean, after your passing is it acceptable to expose those secrets?
You could say each generation will be the last to tell the story. I feel that way at times. It's true that given that box few would know much about it. Oh many things could be surmised, conclusion drawn but details would be missing. And for me, it's all in the details, that is what makes those things important. I talk often of writing a book and have begun the process. I admit it is slow going and difficult to stay focused upon. I keep changing my mind on content. Maybe the book I should be writing is solely about the past, my past. The audience for that book would surely be a narrow one. Not much of interest to someone not a member of the family. In short, there is nothing sensational for me to tell. The only way that book would work is by a total baring of the soul. I'm not certain I can do that. I'd like to say it is because I'm afraid of offending someone, and that is a part of it, but it's not the thing that constrains me the most. I'm more concerned with what damage may be done to myself! It's a very difficult thing to be exposed and vulnerable. It's just not in my nature. Probably the reason I don't consider myself a victim, a popular thing to be these days, but that's another topic. Nor am I a survivor, I'm a conqueror! That's right, I didn't merely survive, I defeated whatever it was I was challenged with. And history is written by the victor! Maybe I will write that book after all. I'll give it some more thought.
This isn't the first time I have considered all of this. It happens every time I drag out that box. I have considered putting all those photos in an album but have rejected that idea. It certainly saves the pictures but there is little room for explanations. They say a picture is worth a thousand words but unless you write something, they are silent. Then there is the problem of those little momentos. You know the type of thing I mean? Little items saved over time that mean little without explanation. Handmade items, items you treasured. All relics from the past. So, I thinking maybe I should try something different. I'm thinking I need to make a catalogue. If I were to number each item I could then provide a description/explanation for those items. Now I realize that not all items, especially pictures, would have a description of much length but a description nonetheless. It's my feeling they are far less likely to be discarded if you can identify them. Surely you couldn't throw out great, great, great grandfather!
Several years ago I was given a book. It is a rather large volume and contains blank pages. That's it, all the pages are blank. I have considered what to do with it and now may have found a use for it. Perhaps I'll use it for recording those items. If stored with the box it could act as a sort of catalog. A catalog of memories! My memories. It's an interesting idea and one that would take some time to complete. That has always been the issue, the time it takes and maintaining that interest. It is a boring task no doubt about that. The thing is I don't want to leave any secrets. There were and still are secrets in my past that I seek the answers too. I realize that for some the answer will never be known. You can't know what the mind of a person was unless they tell you. When that person has been deceased for one hundred and fifty years that's difficult. Still I wish I had an answer. I want to know the why of the past not just the what. It's the why that fascinates us. Call it historical gossip if you like. I think a great deal of the " why " of history is just that, gossip. History is told by the victor is an old adage and holds much truth. My history would be no different. I did say I didn't want to leave any secrets but that isn't exactly true. There are things best left to history, things just between you and your God.
The funny thing about history is that it can offend today. Never in history has that been more evident. Just look at the removal of statues as an example. Those statues are offensive. We are now talking about reparations for the past. These reparations are to be paid to people that weren't even alive at the time of the offense. Their parents weren't alive either! Some are offended by the truth. There are moments in history to be celebrated, and moments in history to be mourned, but all history should be remembered. For that reason I hesitate. I wouldn't want to offend anyone. I am torn between telling the whole story and just glossing over some areas. Do I have the right to tell others secrets? Isn't that what gossiping is all about? Nobody likes a gossip, but everyone is fascinated with gossip, there is a whole industry based on that premise. We reprimand the one telling, while listening intently to the story. But is it gossip if you are telling the truth? That's the justification we like to use, just stating the facts. I'm not certain that justification is enough. Is it alright to upset others when you are assured it will not affect you? I mean, after your passing is it acceptable to expose those secrets?
You could say each generation will be the last to tell the story. I feel that way at times. It's true that given that box few would know much about it. Oh many things could be surmised, conclusion drawn but details would be missing. And for me, it's all in the details, that is what makes those things important. I talk often of writing a book and have begun the process. I admit it is slow going and difficult to stay focused upon. I keep changing my mind on content. Maybe the book I should be writing is solely about the past, my past. The audience for that book would surely be a narrow one. Not much of interest to someone not a member of the family. In short, there is nothing sensational for me to tell. The only way that book would work is by a total baring of the soul. I'm not certain I can do that. I'd like to say it is because I'm afraid of offending someone, and that is a part of it, but it's not the thing that constrains me the most. I'm more concerned with what damage may be done to myself! It's a very difficult thing to be exposed and vulnerable. It's just not in my nature. Probably the reason I don't consider myself a victim, a popular thing to be these days, but that's another topic. Nor am I a survivor, I'm a conqueror! That's right, I didn't merely survive, I defeated whatever it was I was challenged with. And history is written by the victor! Maybe I will write that book after all. I'll give it some more thought.
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