conjuring a memory

It has been said a picture is worth a thousand words. I present this picture as an example of a picture gone silent. This photo was among my great grandfathers things and is unidentified. By all estimates it was taken in the early part of the twentieth century. But just who are these children ? Sadly I can't say with 100% certainty. I'll tell you who I think they are. The young lady is my great aunt Mildred and the young man my grandfather Elwood Christian Reichart. I reached that conclusion after what the law calls a preponderance of the evidence. I call it a good guess. Aunt Mildred , the lady my own sister was named for was born in 1898 and so fits the time frame. Grandfather Elwood was born in 1900 and so also fits the time period. Doing a little research on the internet I discovered he is dressed in what was called a Buster Brown outfit, popular in , you guessed it the early part of the twentieth century. Buster Brown shoes adopted the cartoon character as its' mascot in 1904 and the shoes became a fashion staple. Interesting is that Buster Brown had a girl friend, Mary Jane. Do you remember those candies? And his pet dog? A pit bull! The gladiator style shoes the young lady is wearing was quite popular as well.

 I also know that the picture came from my great grandfathers home. It was Elwood Christian Reichart that married his daughter Clara Lester. Sadly Clara passed shortly after giving birth to my father. As a result my father and his brother was raised by their grandmother and grandfather. Elwood would go on to marry another lady, Lina, and have two sons with her. That grandmother Lester would have kept that picture is reasonable enough to assume. Grandfather Elwood would pass away from a ruptured appendix on a trip to Florida in 1932. Great Aunt Mildred would live to be in her eighties and I knew her well. Strange I don't recall her ever talking about her mother and father or any of the family history for that matter. It was, of course, during the time people didn't speak of the dead and children were to be seen and not heard. There were many secrets, dirty laundry was the term used, that went unaired.

 Now I also know, after much research and reading, that Great Grandfather Christian Reichart, born on the fourth of July, married Catherine Gaffga. Catherine came from a rather well to do family that lived in Greenport on Long Island. Her family were German immigrants to this country. Great Grandfather Christian was the first born Reichart on American soil. I haven't discovered the circumstances but Catherine passed away at an early age. Following that there seems to have been a falling out between Christian and her family. Why Elwood took his children to live with his deceased wife's' parents instead of his own is a mystery. What is no mystery is that the Gaffgas' were financially far better off than the Lester's. It is a fact that Christian Reichart passed away from stomach cancer in the " poor house " at Yapank, Long Island. He was interred with the rest of the family at Sterling Cemetery in Greenport. 

 All of that information combined with other later photographs has convinced me that is who is in that picture. The Gaffga family would certainly have had the resources to have a photo taken. We do have to remember that in the early 1900's having a picture taken was an event. You had to make an appointment, get all dressed up and go to the studio. All in all a big deal and not cheap. What was the occasion? Of that I can't even guess. Perhaps it followed the death of their mother Catherine, I just don't know. The picture is silent. I have written what I believe on the back of that picture for future generations to discover. I have given it a voice. The question is, does it speak the truth? I'm hoping I will know that for certain one day as solving of a mystery. Life itself is a mystery and all we can do is speculate anyway. 

 Well I haven't counted but I don't believe this is a thousand words. I'm thinking I could write a thousand words about this one picture if I really made an effort to do so. That was my thought this morning. I sit at my desk surrounded by pictures of the family. Each picture does have a story to tell. For the pictures that I can I intend to one day write the story. The majority of them will be non-fiction and that is a good thing. Others, like the one presented, will be fiction. Still I feel compelled to tell the " story " even if a bit of it is conjecture. It is from conjecture that magic is made. To conjur, to call an image to the mind. Old photographs are magic in a way, capturing a single moment in time. That moment can only be released by words. Words then conjur a memory, and what is a memory? Just a mist in the mind subject to change at any time. But a picture last forever.            

The Doctor is in

 My wife had an appointment with her primary physician. Doesn't that sound strange? It does to me because when I was growing up we went to the doctor, we didn't have a doctor, just whoever was available at the moment. A primary doctor? Just what would that be? I remember a pediatrician named Dr. Zenger. She, yup a female Doctor, quite controversial, but a baby Doctor so that made sense. She came to the house once when I had scarlet fever. Then I got hit on the top of the head with a clam and required a few stiches in my scalp. I think Dr. Abel may have done that, at the clinic, and he may have given me a physical for my working papers. Until I joined the Navy that was about the extent of Doctors for me. A primary physician though? That is something insurance companies have invented. At least that is my thinking about that. One person to coordinate all tests and procedures, an overseer so to speak. This person needs to be a Doctor, but not specialize in any thing in particular. Their job is to direct you to the right secondary doctor. What I always called a specialist. Thing is, I always felt like if you needed a specialist, that wasn't good! That was serious business, dead serious. But times have changed and now we all have a primary and a string of specialists. I even have three myself.
 But I got off track there a bit. I was saying my wife had an appointment with her primary physician. When we got there we were informed that he was sick. In fact, he has been out of the office for some time and it was hopeful he could return in August. Now, I know Doctors are just people like you and I but it seemed strange that he was sick. My first thought was, physician heal thyself. That was followed by another irrational thought, if the guy can't keep himself healthy, do I want him tending to my wife? And, yes he is my primary doctor too. But like I said I realize he is just a man. It does seem funny however. You can't see your primary doctor because he is ill and that means you can't see your secondary one either! You can't see the backup? Well looks like the team is without a coach at the moment. The appointment has been rescheduled. Wishing the Doctor a speedy recovery.
 In thinking about all of this it occurred to me that health care really has become a business. I know that sounds obvious. It sounds obvious because it is what we hear all the time these days. That wasn't so when I was growing up. You went to the Doctor, or he came to you, as necessary. No one went for maintenance. No, you had to be broke first, then he fixed you up. The business of a doctor was to patch you up and help you regain your health. Now it seems like doctors are available to perform specific procedures. You go see the Coordinator ( primary physician )who then directs you to the person with the necessary skill to execute the play. After that you return to the coordinator and the cycle continues. You are scheduled to see this primary doctor at set intervals. It isn't a matter of if you are going to need further care, just when and by whom. We do have a doctor for everything these days.
 All of this is predicated upon your ability to pay. Short of you being independently wealthy, your insurance is the deciding factor. I am firmly convinced that health care is modified depending upon that issue alone. Can you or your insurance company pay. I'm not saying it hasn't always been this way, it certainly has, but it has grown worse. The old family doctor didn't do his job for free either. Thing is he also didn't send you to three others. You might wind up seeing one of those specialists but it wasn't a matter of course. No, the old Doctor did everything he could for you first. Well, to be fair to todays doctors, they also didn't have teams of television lawyers ready to sue them! That is a portion of the " health care " system everyone knows about, but nothing can be done about. The lawyers themselves have ensured that. Anything less would be an injustice denying you your right to compensation! Yes, that is the mantra; justice is monetary compensation. If you or a loved you suffered a medical mistake you should be compensated. Even if the doctor made an honest mistake, its' still a mistake and you deserve compensation. Sure Great Aunt Gertrude died but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get millions to ease your sorrow. Sure it'll be a structured settlement but you can always sell that to JG Wentworth, it's your money you deserve it now!
 Well this is just rambling on about a simple thing. I sometimes do that. The Doctor is sick. Funny how that comes off as such a surprise. You just expect the doctor to be in. I wish him a speedy recovery from whatever malady has befallen him. I'm betting he makes a terrible patient though. It would just have to be a pain in the butt. I can hear him now, I'm a primary physician, I'm no second stringer, I know what I need.              

time travel

 The past few days I've gone fishing and crabbing. As a result I haven't been on social media very much or listened to the news. I certainly haven't missed the drama but do feel a bit uninformed. Just what have I missed? I'm certain Trump has been blamed for something and should be impeached for whatever it is. Those folks on the left are relentless in their pursuit of a victory for Hillary. never mind the election has long since been lost. Maybe if they get to impeach somebody, anybody they will quiet down some, but probably not.
 The other news I did hear about was the return of remains from North Korea. I hope that it brings some comfort and closure to folks. Surely those that miss those people are elderly now themselves. t has been 65 years since that conflict ended. I know that because it was seven days after my birth. A date easy to remember. I have known a few veterans from that war, sadly they have all passed on. I read a few comments about this on social media with mixed feelings/emotions. It was questioned why those remains are wrapped in the flag of the United Nations. I offered my opinion but was soon reminded that the forces of the allies fought under the flag of the United Nations and so that was why. I thanked the man reminding me of that bit of history. There were others that were leaving negative comments. I know that is to be expected but it angers me somewhat. Why not allow folks the opportunity to be grateful and feel some relief after 65 years? But no, I read remarks about we don't know who they are, and how remains in the past were returned only to be proven not what they were presented to be. Why throw cold water on that, why dash their hopes on the rocks? Is it because you don't like Trump? What a petty thing to do.
 While fishing I did have time to just sit and think. I was sitting on a bridge that spans the Chesapeake bay. I do enjoy watching the various boats going to and fro. There are the recreational boaters and the commercial ones. The smell of the water and a light breeze is a wining combination every time. The new span runs a few hundreds yards away from the old and you do hear the sound of the traffic. That is a strange experience if you grew up on the bay. I'm still not used to hearing semi-trucks while I'm fishing. It is a nice place to go however. There is no admission charge, benches and picnic tables are provided along with portable toilets. All the conveniences of home. Yesterday I did manage to catch a few blue gills, returned them to the bay and five blue crabs. My wife steamed the crabs and my grandson will enjoy them. Life is best with the simple things. No electronics required for eating crabs! Having only a few makes you enjoy them that much more. It is moderation that makes everything special. That's something I point out a lot. If everyone gets the trophy it just doesn't mean very much does it?
 I do enjoy the outdoors. Well, I should say the outdoors in warm weather. I'm not much on the cold weather stuff. I'm certain it would be different had I learned to ski or had snowmobiles when I was young. I did enjoy ice skating, but as a social event not as a sport. Strangely I did miss the social media . Yes, I admit to that, I did miss it somewhat. I didn't post a blog yesterday as I was " gone fishin' " I'm staying home today and catch up on some chores. I have a part to replace on my car, laundry to do and some maintenance on my fishing and crabbing equipment. You do have to maintain your stuff. Being retired I can just go whenever the mood strikes! Now that's living. I'm thinking about a trip to Assateague Island to go clamming. I did go once last year, got one clam! No matter felt good to scratch anyway.
 Yes, after all these years I still get that itch. I do want to do the things of my childhood. Fishing, clamming, scalloping, and all the things of the bay. Some men say their heart belongs to the Ocean but mine belongs to her sister, the bay. Even a bay with two bridges spanning it. Those bridges are the longest fixed water crossings in the state of Maryland. They are also some of the longest spans over water in the world. And I smile when I see a fishing boat tending his trot line alongside those spans. Men still working the bay, the way they always have. A timeless tradition still alive but on life support. May I never see it end. Yesterday you could say I went time traveling, back to my youth. I took my grandson with me, doesn't get much better than that.

   

Gone Fishin'

No, really I've gone fishin'. 

sanctity

 Forthright sanctimony. That's what I call what I write. And yes I have been called sanctimonious. I can see that and I really can't argue with that opinion. Of course I just see it as being forthright. Another name for that is honesty. You see, I believe you can know the answers without writing them down, so to speak. It is in that, that sanctimonious and forthrightness get confused. Being sanctimonious is viewed as a bad thing, a very bad thing. When I am writing about certain actions that I believe are the correct ones I am not being sanctimonious, I'm being forthright. How do I know these answers? Mostly they come from experience which means I have acted contrary to that advice at some point in time. That's how I know and it gets me gets me labeled sanctimonious! A real catch twenty two isn't it? Well all I can do is be forthright in my opinions and let the chips fall where they may.
 Now this does give me pause. Am I being sanctimonious? I'm thinking that depends upon whether the reader agrees with my statements or disagrees. It is the ones that disagree that usually resort to name calling. I'm thinking when you have no other counter that is the default method. As I recall it was what was employed on the playground. We called those kids " goody two shoes. " They were correct and we didn't like it one bit. I'll just call you names instead of correcting my behavior. Yes it stinks having someone tell you something you already know! It really stinks when you know they are right. It is at that point the " buts " come out, literally and figuratively. You do start hearing, but this, or but that. Eventually the other butt comes out, the ultimate show of disrespect. It may even be suggested that your parents weren't married when you were conceived! Oh that's bad, very bad. And its' all your fault to boot!
 There is one thing that confuses me though. We often hear about the sanctity of marriage. We must never violate that. In so doing wouldn't we be described as sanctimonious? But sanctimonious is a bad thing. See the confusion there? I'm supposed to preserve the sanctity of marriage at all costs but not be sanctimonious? The best way to do that in a marriage is to be forthright. No secrets, no deceit just straight up honest. Hmm, maybe I am sanctimonious after all. I'll just have to ask my wife. 

A plan

 My plan today is to go catch a few crabs. Maryland is famous for its' blue crabs. I guess being born by the water and around fisherman I feel the need to get an early start. I've got my gear together and the only thing I need now is a bag of ice. I'll be heading for Cambridge where there is an old traffic bridge the state has converted for use by fisherman and crabbers. It's a pretty ideal setup for recreational crabbing. I'm hoping to get enough to steam up for supper. I am not one to get greedy about it, get what you need and leave.
 Growing up we never ate crabs. We were more fish and clams folks. I would see those crabs in the creek but paid them no mind. Also when the season was right, eels. Here they sell eels for use as bait and treasure the crabs. The holy grail, the top of the line for me is Lobster! Always has been and always will be. A steamed Lobster setting in front of me with a cup of melted butter on the side! That's all I need. I require no side dishes whatsoever. And no, I don't need a bib as not a single morsel will escape!
 As with most of the east coast this week it has been rain every day. The rain is supposed to clear out today. That is what I am counting on. I really don't want to be on a bridge in the middle of the bay during a storm. I don't mind the rain it is the wind and lightening that gives me pause. This bridge is quite long and can take some time to evacuate. I did make a concession to age and purchased a wagon to haul my stuff in. This will be its' maiden outing. Yes, I'll look a bit like a tourist but I can't be concerned with that. Anyway, that is what is on my mind this morning. So good day I've gotta run.
      

just social media

 I was involved in a bit of a discussion, my fault, I posed a question. I read the responses and responded to those comments. I felt the whole thing was cordial enough. Later, to my complete surprise it was implied that some people get mad about everything. The word used wasn't mad but began with the letter p. It's an expression I've heard all my life, and to be truthful still makes no sense to me. Quite a few declarative statements similar to that also make no sense but that topic is for a different blog. I was just surprised that someone thought I might be angry. The only thing I can figure is one comment I did leave that may have come off as condescending but I assure you it wasn't meant to be. Another individual had remarked that it was just " social " media. My response, perhaps a bit snarky as the kids say today was, social media is part of what is forming our society! What we allow today becomes the norm tomorrow. That's why it is called social media. I went on to say that I didn't want to add to the degradation of society. It was for that reason I objected to what was posted. We are the " parents " for the future and it is a responsibilty. We should care for and raise our society with the same care we do our children.
 Now I'm not upset or angry about any of that. I wonder why people jump to that conclusion these days whenever someone doesn't agree with their opinion. Instead of defending their own opinion they tend to just discredit yours. The problem is the majority of the time they offer nothing of substance as a response. The response is " you're an idiot " or " everyone does it. " Or I hear my favorite one of all, it's no worse than! My immediate response to that is always, shouldn't we be trying for " it's better than " not just it isn't worse than? But I digress in this conversation. It is a frustration when you present facts, just plain verifiable facts, and the facts are rejected out of hand. It appears that many seem to confuse fact and fiction, fact and opinion. And I am aware that this whole thing I am writing is my opinion. That's what blogs usually are, opinion pieces. I remember when that was clearly stated in newspapers and such, this is an opinion piece. That line has surely been blurred today, if not completely erased. The headlines on newspapers and the evening news being somewhat suspect these days.
 The biggest offenders are the memes we see on social media! Each of those has to be carefully scrutinized. Saw one yesterday about Russia having a " potentially " world ending nuclear torpedo! In the comments section people are blaming Trump for it and concerned that Russia is going to destroy the United States. No matter that the headline said it was a world ending device! Guess Russia isn't on this world. That is the type of stuff that annoys me. If we are going to have meaningful discussion shouldn't the meaning be clear? I mean what does that even mean, a potentially world ending torpedo! Look unless you have been living under a rock somewhere your entire life you should be aware. Russia, China, the United States and a few other countries have the nuclear capability to destroy the entire world! We have had that potential since 1945!
  Anyway, the whole thing just leaves me scratching my head. I am concerned for the future of America. If we allow everything in the name of progress, inclusiveness and human compassion what will be the result? I'm not certain I know that answer, but I'm fairly certain it won't be some utopia where everyone is held in high regard and valued as a human being. There will be those that have, and those that have not. That is just as certain as the sun rising in the east. Just a fact.
 Whether you choose to believe that God handed down the commandments or not is entirely up to you. The point being there are ten rules for living that were carved in stone. Scholars tell us they were given to man about the 16th century before Christ. Those commandments are in essence rules or laws, if you prefer that terminology. They are the guidelines for a civil society! And that is my point, we need to have rules, to have boundaries in order to form a society. That is what a society is, a group of people with common beliefs, common goals, and indeed a common morality. Without that you don't have a society. That's true even when that society is just " social media. "
 We all need to remember that the seeds we sow are what propagate the garden. This is true in nature and true in a society. If we allow, condone and accept weeds, the weeds take over the garden. Soon the fruits are spoiled, the garden worthless. 

Is that possible

 I'm thinking I may have worn a memory out. Do you think that is even possible? I never dreamed that it could happen, but I think it has. I have looked at, turned over and nuzzled with a memory for so long, it is almost gone. Now it is more like mist than a shower. I do remember when that memory was a flood. The time has come to put that memory to rest, to relegate it to the corridors of time. A time to say goodbye.
 I titled this blog Random thoughts and memories because that is what I thought I would record. Seems I have recorded more thoughts than memories. I suppose that is because I'm still having thoughts and memories take time to develop. Why are our memories viewed as old things? Yesterday isn't that old, yet yesterday is just a memory today. I'm thinking it has something to do with how long that memory is kept alive. I believe it is the same as losing someone you loved, as long as their name is spoken, they are not really gone. They are there, just around the corner, waiting for you. If you listen closely, they speak to you. But what happens when you no longer remember, or you choose to forget, where does the memory go? The answer would have to be it dies. Death is a permanent state. At least as far as the human experience goes it is, although many of us choose to believe otherwise, myself included. So then if a memory can never die, where does it go when forgotten? Do they reside with forgotten dreams?
 Perhaps there comes a time when you should let the memory die. When that memory no longer brings you happiness, contentment or cause for reflection, perhaps it's time is up. Memory should be a useful tool, not one to cause harm. It is true that memories can hurt, even after having given us joy. Perhaps then memories transform to stories. Stories are memories without the pain. Or more properly, stories are memories without personal pain. We do tend to forget what hurts us. We learn to dismiss that. And I feel at times I have told all the stories, the memories long since gone. A memory worn out.
 Today I feel a bit of melancholy, old memories and old friends revisited. The melancholy coming from a realization that I may never visit those places and people again, not even in my mind. Memories are after all just wisps in the wind. Memories have no substance, no reason for being. One can only resuscitate a memory so many times before it is lost. Time gone by can never be recovered. The reality being, it can never be again. Each moment that passes becomes a memory and each one will one day die. They go to join forgotten dreams. I'm thinking that is how it should be.
 Now if I could only remember what it is that I have forgotten. If I could just recover a memory and revive that dream. The two are surely inexplicably linked. This thought is a random one, thinking about a memory. A memory worn out. Is that even possible?      
  

what I want?

 We have all heard the expression walk the straight and narrow. The belief being that the road to heaven is indeed a straight and narrow one. I was raised to believe just that. It is indeed a straight a narrow set of parameters. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you being the primary directive. If we all did exactly that, we would all be happy. But unfortunately that isn't the case, nor will it ever be so. Each of us will, at some point decide we are exempt from that. Oh it is to varying degrees, but true for us all. I do expect certain actions from others. When those actions are not forthcoming I will react. I may take action to, shall I say, stimulate the response I was hoping to receive. That action will often be contrary to what I would like you to do to me. That is where the path gets crooked, as we dodge and weave our way around the truth. The path is widened to allow others to pass!
 These thoughts came to mind as I read a posting the other day. This posting was concerned with the way Christians are practicing their faith. The gest of the article was that by calling others out on their sins, by imploring them to change their ways, Christians were in some fashion betraying the faith! The general premise being, Jesus preached forgiveness and tolerance for everyone. I won't argue that point, he certainly did that. The thing is, he preached, and he did offer forgiveness. There was a stipulation to that forgiveness however, that stipulation being " Go and sin no more. " Whoever wrote that article seems to have either forgotten that part, or chose to ignore it. To me it is the fundamental basis for forgiveness, this action we call repentance! And just what is repentance? Repentance is understanding the error of your ways. It isn't just being sorry for past misdeeds, or even naming those deeds. To truly repent is to change your ways. To " go and sin no more. "
 The whole discussion centers around defining what is sin, or sinful. That has certainly been changed over the years. We have the ten commandments, those are pretty clear directives as far as I am concerned. Do this and don't do that. The question is, if I would like you to do whatever to me, does that make it not a sin? I ask the question based on my initial premise of the golden rule, do unto others. But then wouldn't that depend upon me telling you what I want? If I want it, it is not a sin even if it something you don't want? If you want something, it isn't a sin? And then having determined that is what you want, but I believe that to be a sin because it is something I don't want, I am required to forgive you, and in fact support your choice to sin because it isn't sin if you want it? Somehow I don't think that is how it is supposed to work. In that way, sin or wrongdoing however you wish to phrase that is only determined by my own desires. Well now, isn't that convenient.
 Epictetus said: All religions must be tolerated, for every man must get to heaven is his own way. I believe that wholeheartedly. We must remember that tolerance is not acceptance. Those are separate actions. Tolerance does not involve me supporting or condoning an action or actions. In fact tolerance is nothing more than a failure to act upon something that irritates me! So your insistence that tolerance means I should condone or support your actions is actually quite intolerant! Tolerance is listening to what I have to say, politely and attentively. Acceptance, is agreeing. 

fifty years ago

 Fifty years ago I was fifteen. What an amazing statement. How many I have known that couldn't make such a claim. Having a birthday does return some perspective to our lives if we are paying attention. It is so easy to get lost in your own thoughts and feelings that you forget about others. It is also easy to gain a sense of entitlement by virtue of the passing years. I have been guilty of both actions and suspect I will be again. But this morning I was just thinking, fifty years ago I was fifteen.
 Much has changed in the world and in technology since 1968. A great deal of it I take for granted and a great deal of it I complain about. I'm certain it has always been that way, each succeeding generation adopting the technology presented to it, aging a bit and then longing for the good old days. And my good old days where in the 1960's. I think from age 12 to 15 is the sweet spot. Old enough to enjoy some independence, young enough to not have a great deal of responsibilty. Still learning about " new " things in the world, exciting things, but able to use the immature excuse when necessary. In 1968 I was still riding a bicycle as my primary means of transportation, no insurance to pay, no gas to buy. All I needed was a little spending money, money I could earn from various sources. Then when I had made " enough " I would go off to enjoy it. Ah, the good old days indeed. Living the life of a vagabond. Well, at least in spirit I was, Mom and Dad provided a fine home and plenty to eat. I did work and earn a few dollars here and there, moving about and the seasons did effect all of that. Cutting grass, raking leaves or shoveling snow! There was plenty to do for the savvy vagabond.
 I do remember when15 was old. At least I thought it was. It is that memory that prompted my statement, fifty years ago I was fifteen. Now, I have grandchildren that age and older. They are feeling rather grown up and I can't help but smile about that. That is one thing that never changes over time, the human experience. That is life, the human experience. There was nothing before it, and the majority of us pray for something beyond it. The range of emotions hasn't changed, nor the interpretation of those emotions. Man has sought ways to explain them, ways to control them and ways to avoid them, all with relative success. Time is the great equalizer. Time waits for no man is an old adage and the truth of that statement is irrefutable. The secret is to be comfortable in your time.
 When is your time? There are times I long for the good old days and at others times I long for whatever the future holds. The reality is I'm alive today. You do have to learn to be comfortable with the moment. The difficult part is in realizing each moment does not belong to you. It all speaks to purpose. I do believe each of us has a purpose, a reason to be in this time. When we have completed the purpose, our time is over. That's why we don't know how much time we have. To know that would be to know the purpose, the objective. And in knowing that, the outcome would be changed. Of course you could say, there is always a next time, always has been. Will we be aware of the next time? That is why we pray. Fifty years ago I was fifteen. 

By all means

 I heard on the news that Trumps former lawyer secretly taped conversations with him. In these secret recordings Trump discusses payments to a former Playboy model. It is supposed to be some kind of bombshell and could lead to Trumps' impeachment and going to jail! Well, we'll just have to wait and see about that. I haven't heard much more than that and so I'm not getting all excited about it. I understand those on the left are already salivating like a dog with a bone. That's nothing new and is to be expected. Sadly, it is human nature to wish the worst in situations like this. We all love a good scandal! It is a chink in the armor of our morals. Granted some are more vocal about it than others but we are all prey to that emotion. It probably has something to do with social standing, status and perceived injustices. There is just something about seeing the powerful brought down.
 I haven't forgotten about the Stormy Daniels deal either. She had signed a confidentiality agreement   for the sum of 180,000 dollars. Then she decides to tell all! Apparently that is allowed in some fashion as I haven't seen any action taken against her legally. Not being a lawyer I just assumed she broke the law when she told. I mean wasn't that the agreement? And if that agreement isn't enforceable what is the purpose of it in the first place? It surely seems cut and dried to me. But that whole thing has died down somewhat although I heard she was arrested, then charges were dropped. Remember that guy they called the " Teflon Don? " He hasn't got a thing on Stormy Daniels! After all, in a strip club, with all eyes on the performer, she commits a crime and then no one sees it? The police arrest her but drop the charges?
 No matter your feelings toward Trump, Daniels or anyone else for that matter this leaves me wondering. I wonder what the law really is? Can a lawyer secretly tape his clients and then use those tapes for his own purposes? I realize I have only heard this on television but I believed their was a lawyer/client confidentiality thing. If, well not if, allegedly he has, broken that agreement isn't he subject to censor? But then surrendering your license to practice law isn't as big a deal as one would initially think. I won't name anyone but a few prominent individuals come to mind that did exactly that. The line is, my license wasn't revoked, I just choose not to renew it. Yeah, okay if you say so. I have to admit it hasn't hurt those folks financially! Could it be that lawyer has plans of his own? I don't know but I'm not a big conspiracy guy. I'm more of a why would someone do whatever kinda guy. It's usually for one of several reasons, money, fame or revenge. Human motivations aren't that difficult to understand, we all share them. Yes some will act upon those motivations, and others will just sit on them.
 All of this just goes to show me something I have noticed over the years is true. When we begin to replace morality and ethics with the letter of the law, both suffer. There was a day when a handshake was enough. A man's word was his bond. Then the lawyers got involved. We started writing this stuff down, putting it in stone so to speak. The meaning and intent that it was made permanent. It was back in the day when we were more concerned with what we " should " be doing than what was the minimum requirement. We started requiring a written guarantee because we no longer could trust the word of our neighbor. There was also no recourse to us if we didn't have that " legal " guarantee. Yes, we became civilized. Funny thing is, civilization is based on people acting in a civilized manner, acting, dare I say, as Gentlemen, bound by Gentlemen's agreements. An idea, a concept, that for the most part is scoffed at today. And sadly, it is accepted as the normal course of events. But what if we are dismissing these " legal " requirements as well? What if we accept the notion that the ends always justifies the means? All bets are off! It's every man or woman for themselves. And isn't that exactly what we are seeing today? It's all about me and what I want. " By any means necessary "             

I don't have to

 I won't mention any names but I do have conversations with folks of a different political flavor than myself. These discussion may be just a brief comment, a meme, and sometimes protracted debates. I've lost a few friends and acquaintances over the course of a few years. It's a two way street and that is as it should be. Of course I feel I am right or I wouldn't be arguing for my point, that's just common sense. Opinions can be debated and beliefs questioned. That is also as it should be. Problems arise when attempting to determine fact. Facts can be nothing more than what you believe! Yes, it's true, there are facts that are merely beliefs. So how can we arrive at a standard answer, a matter of fact? We can only do that by mutual consent.
  In my experience most belief is acquired through peer pressure. And if it isn't peer pressure it is the desire of the individual to fit in. How firmly do you believe? Well, I read somewhere that if you want to know what you really believe, write. It is something I have been doing for a number of years now, in the form of these blog postings. I have discovered beliefs I hold that I wasn't aware of. I can honestly say I haven't found any major beliefs that I felt a need to change. I'll leave that up to someone else to decide, I'm confident in my beliefs. I think that stems from the fact that I realize they are just my beliefs and not necessarily yours. I will try to convince you of my belief if yours is contrary to that belief.
 Yesterday I had an experience that I found most troubling. I was engaged in one of these discussions of belief and fact. The discussion turned to standing for the national anthem. I firmly believe that you should do that in every situation and instance. Regardless of your like or dislike for the President, the law enforcement agencies of the United States, or any real or perceived injustices being perpetrated against any one! I had posted a picture of a boy being presented that National Ensign, folded into the familiar triangle shape, at the funeral of what we can assume is his father or mother. My comment was, this is why we stand for the anthem. I was answered with the posting of a link detailing the origins of standing for the anthem. It was an interesting read and I did learn some things about the practice I hadn't known before. To be brief it explained the custom was started in part by a Senator Burrows at graduation ceremonies for West Point. The intent was to draw attention to that song and the words to it while remembering and honoring those that served under her colors. In short, a sign of respect.
 After I read the link I copy and pasted a portion of that link to cite that very sentiment. I posted that in response to support my belief, my contention, that is why we should stand for the anthem. The response from the person initially posting the link was what troubled me. The response, I don't have to do anything, it's not a law. There is no requirement for me to stand for the playing of the national anthem. I agreed that there is no law saying so, no legislation demanding that, but rather it should be done as a matter of respect. I went on to say how some people, a majority of people in my opinion, understand the meaning behind that show of respect and find it demeaning, disrespectful and just plain wrong to ignore that. Again the response was, but I don't have to! And that response was from a grown man! It was in that moment I came to another realization, he really didn't understand at all.
 It was an amazing thing. What I read was, you're right about the meaning and purpose of that tradition, but I don't have to. You're right, but right is wrong! Think about that for just a few minutes. this person is saying, " I fully understand why you feel the way you do about that tradition. It is a tradition to show honor and respect, in a symbolic fashion, to every soldiers and citizen of this country that has defended her. It symbolizes that sentiment of love of country." And that is followed by, " but I don't have to. " 

starch or no starch

 My grandmother was a laundress. I know it isn't a term you hear a lot these days but that is what she did to earn her living. Folks dropped their dirty laundry off at her house where she washed, ironed and folded it all. Grandma never drove an automobile in her life and in her last ten years on earth didn't go any further than three miles or so from home. Her primary heating source in her house was a kitchen stove. It burned either wood or coal, quite the convenience. She did have an electric refrigerator. She had her routine, Monday was always a wash day followed by ironing and folding, then washing again as needed to complete the weeks work. She didn't " work " on Sunday, that was the lords day. No, on Sunday she cleaned her house, chopped more firewood, did her sewing and mending and maybe some baking just for fun. I never heard her complain about any of it. I'm certain that was just her sparing us children from hearing any of that. There being nothing we could do to help her change her situation in life what would be the point? Grandma raised ten children of her own and understood children well. I would say Grandma, NaNa, as I called her was about as stoic a woman as you would want to meet. Practical and to the point.
 I was thinking about this this morning. When folks dropped out their laundry Grandma always asked, starch or no starch? She was, of course, referring to the collars and cuffs mostly. I asked her about that one day and she explained it to me. She told me the ones that wanted starch were all about business and the ones without were worried about comfort. She told me that is pretty much the two types of people you will meet in the world. You have those that observe the proprieties, that think about others before themselves and they will ask for starch. It may be uncomfortable, it may even chaff a bit, but it is what a professional will wear. Then you have the others. With the others it is personal comfort that comes first. Never mind about appearance, never mind about what other people see, as long as it is comfortable to you, that is what matters! It is those folks that degrade the quality in life, it is those that " relax " the rules normalizing that which isn't normal. Never in history has that analogy been more obvious than in America today. We have an entire political party dedicated to that. NaNa was right, not much changes in the world. The only thing that changes are the people.
 You can decide on starch or no starch. Those are pretty much your choices in life. It does require a bit more effort, more commitment to take the starch. As I said, it may even chaff a bit but it isn't about comfort, it is about what is right. Collars and cuffs are meant to be stiff, it is in their design. You can decide to do what is right, even when met with opposition, or you can decide to just go soft. When you go soft you lose your purpose. You might as well not be there at all! Then you are like the spectators at a sporting event. You are the one cheering for everyone else. You usually just go with the popular choice. It demands on what the crowd is chanting at the moment! But if you have a team and it is losing, the others are cheating. I hear that all the time, have even been guilty of using that excuse myself. Does any of that sound familiar? Well the bottom line is this, even though it may chaff, it may irritate, maybe you don't even like it, but you have to go with what is right. It isn't always comfortable. You don't go soft because it is easier. The British are famous for saying, " keep a stiff upper lip " and we all understand the implication there. As my Dad was found of saying, " don't start blubbering " do something about it. Seems to me a whole lot of folks spend every day " blubbering " about everything that is uncomfortable to them. They would be better served to learn to live with it. 

It's the strangest thing

 It's the strangest thing really. There are all these folks on the left crying, protesting and moralizing on a daily basis. These folks fight to support a woman's' right to choose. That's what they call abortion, the termination of a life. I have been lectured and accused of being unchristian because I oppose this action. The same people hold parades celebrating deviant lifestyles, insisting that they are perfectly normal. They suggest legislation to prevent a doctor from assigning gender to those children they choose to let live. I've been informed you can't decide gender, you have to ask the child! It has been suggested that because I seen a Latino man with tattoos on his neck and face proclaiming his allegiance to MS-13 I am just prejudiced. I should assume he is a refugee just seeking a safe place to live and raise a family. After all, all Latino people crossing our border are just running for their lives, crossing miles of desert with no water or food. They are dodging the banditos that would rob, kill and rape them. Oh, the humanity of it all.  The bottom line in all of this, their big message, indeed their mantra is " Don't Judge. " Well, except if they are Russians. Especially Putin, Putin is a liar, a crook, a beast. Putin is heading up the largest cyber hacking group in the world and influencing our elections!!!!!  It's the strangest thing, the left is now insisting that I judge Putin. It's the strangest thing, I'm not an American unless I do that. They scoff at the notion that I should even listen to him, indeed the last administration headed by the biggest " liberal " of them all refused to even speak with him. It's the strangest thing really, Bill Clinton, the poster child of the left, had no objections to speaking with the Russians, for a cool half million. It's the strangest thing Chuck Schumer didn't mind coffee and donuts with Putin. But, then I suppose he wasn't speaking to him either.
 It's the strangest thing really, Obama is now claiming he told Putin to, knock it off! That's right, old Barry was talking tough to that Russian dude. He told him to stop. No indictments were handed out, indeed no investigation was conducted, Obama just knew the Russians were interfering with the election process. It was a, gasp, judgement call! Maybe the evidence was on Hillarys' servers, but we'll never know, weren't those servers acid washed? Isn't that what we have been told? IT's the strangest thing, now we have intelligence agencies claiming to have evidence from those servers. Evidence that is detrimental to Trump but nothing on anything Hillary was involved with. It's the strangest thing, all these people that say they will testify and then commit suicide. Yup, it's just the strangest thing.    

It's all good

 Remember back in the 70's when someone, I don't know the author, wrote that book, I'm Ok, you're OK? It was a best seller and the brunt of some jokes as well. I did read a portion of it and joined in the joking crowd. I don't recall a great deal of what the author was saying just that he claimed we all lived in like four states of being. Seems to me he based his thinking on some experiments another person had done with the human brain. They had stimulated certain areas of the brain and recorded the reactions. Old memories and reactions were often the result of this probing around the brain. From that the title I'm Ok, You're Ok was taken, it was also one of the four states you could be in. Me, I'm mostly in the camp I'm Ok, you I'm not so sure about! That wasn't one of the categories he described though! I do believe each of us are unique individuals striving to fit into our society. The push nowadays is to change the society rather than ourselves. That wasn't always the way it was. This book may have been the start of the change in attitude. I'm Ok but you're not was the prevalent attitude prior to that book. It even said so in the book if I remember correctly.
 I think if we were to write a book today it would have to be titled, It's all good! That is what I hear all the time these days. No matter how perverse, how bizarre, how unnatural something is, if it doesn't directly effect me, it's all good! Now the things that effect me aren't good but I won't admit to that because that would require judgement. I can't judge what is good for you, only for me. If you want to use illegal drugs, sleep in an alley, and stay to yourself, its' all good. Just don't bother me, that's not good. But if you are doing something, and then decide it's not good, I am obligated to help you. If I don't, that ain't good. If I help you repeatedly, and you keep on asking for more help, that's all good. Everyone should get a hundredth chance. It's my responsibilty to help you, not yours. You get a choice. Even if that choice means someone has to die, it's a choice, it's all good. Of course you do have to choose to kill that person before they get a chance at life but, it's all good. You should get all the choices you want.
 If I recall the author of that book was a physiatrist. Now I'll be the first to tell you that is a profession I don't place much stock in. It isn't that I don't think those folks are intelligent, well meaning folks, it is just that I feel a good bartender does the same thing. They are all talk most of the time, unless they prescribe some drugs. The bartender may give you a double for the price of one, same concept. It is a field where they constantly change the diagnosis as well. What was a mental issue years ago, today they will say, it's all good! It's a good job though, pays well and the patient isn't cured until you say they are. Well unless insurance and money runs out. Well the guy that wrote that book committed suicide. I remember hearing that on the news. Guess he wasn't okay after all. Hey, I'm not making fun of him, he did have a best seller. I have no clue what drove him to take his own life. It does go to show one thing I have always known, we are each responsible for our own choices. No one else is to blame for what I choose to do. I'm okay, it's the others I have doubts about. Maybe you don't think I'm okay, maybe you think you I need help, but don't worry about it, it's all good. Well, until I decide that it isn't and then there is no telling what will happen.            

by policy

 It was on the news that the British were protesting Trump. I have seen a picture of a big balloon depicting Trump in a diaper and crying. Pretty funny stuff. I think its' funny that a foreign country is protesting our president. I think it is really funny that it is the same country that we defeated to gain our independence. I admit I haven't paid close attention to all of that. What is it that they don't like? Is it that they can't tax the United States? HaHa, they haven't been able to do that since 1776. Or is it that they are afraid the United States won't give them money and protect their butts like we did in the last world war? Whatever, they can fly their balloon and say whatever they like I could care less.
 In a way it is a compliment. Obviously they believe Trump has the power, the, dare I say it, influence to change the course of their nation. Surely they must. What other reason would you have to protest against someone? Oh, they say they are protesting his immigration policies. Well, the last I knew he didn't control immigration in any other country. I would also suggest the Brits take a real close look at immigration in their own backyard. Don't have to watch a lot of news to see how that is working out for them.
 Well whatever the case is, or was, or will be the United States still leads the world. That is the bottom line as far as I am concerned. Whether you are an American, a Brit or anything else that can't be denied. You may not like the leader, but you can't deny the country. And I would suggest to you if you don't like your country, leave! Go somewhere else where the living is easy. I'm sure those other nations will welcome you with open arms. It has been said, a bad workman blames his tools. That is exactly what I see happening today. We have a whole lot of " bad workmen " blaming everything else for the problems in the world, and indeed in their lives. The problem lies not with the outside forces, but what is inside of them. You lead by policy, not popularity.       

American family

 Maybe it's just me but I' thinking things are finally beginning to calm down a bit. What I mean is we still have flares up every few days but for the most part things seem calmer. Could it be that folks are really starting to understand you can't solve problems by name calling and protesting? Yes, both of those actions will draw attention to you or your cause but you do have to have solution to offer beyond saying I don't like it. Just denying reality isn't helping a thing. Being outraged over reality doesn't help either. It is my fervent prayer the tantrum is over!
One thing remaining is this Mueller investigation. How much longer are we going to throw money at the past? Even if the Russians or whomever attempted to influence the elections I just don't get the issue. Every politician running for office, whether it is the mayor of the smallest town in America or a national platform, is trying to influence the way you vote! Unless you can show me clear evidence that the Russians, or anyone else,  is actually changing the votes in the ballot box I don't see the problem. As the Romans would say, caveat emptor! Buyer beware. I believe that applies to goods, services and politicians! They all sound good when they are trying to sell you something. If you believe and are influenced by ads or whatever that is on you. I don't know about you but I don't want the government controlling what I can read, write, see or hear! There are those politicians that would dearly love that! So would I if I'm the one benefitting from it.
 As I said we have these little flare ups every few days. The latest being the interview with that FBI agent. Things did get a little vicious there. No matter which side you were taking the hearing was far from what I would call " professional. " It did sound more like a bunch of soccer Moms arguing a call. A little bit embarrassing to tell you the truth of it. Then I heard Stormy Daniels gets arrested and subsequently the charges are dropped. Not that I care one way or the other but she was dancing in a strip club, surely there were witnesses to the alleged infractions. Her lawyer says it was a set up. Look, either she touched the guy(s) or she didn't. It doesn't make any difference to me if they went there with that intent or not. Unless they grabbed her hand and forced her to touch them it isn't a set up! You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Isn't that right? But it made the evening news why? Bias ? I don't know but it was a waste of time and taxpayers money.
 I hope the fires aren't just smoldering. The mid-terms are coming up and the results could ignite a real firestorm. I do get the sense that if a certain party isn't successful that will be the result. There is a lot at stake, that much can't be denied. It is a real shame that our government has to be so divided. I do question just who those folks are representing at times? And believe me when I tell you it is on both sides of the proverbial aisle. I just want my representative to represent America! That is their primary function in my opinion. To do what is best for America, to preserve the Republic! Call me callous, call me whatever you will but I say America first!

1 Timothy 5:8

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (We must help our family and provide for our household!) I'd say that applies to a nation as well. The American family! 

a casual observation

 I mentioned it on my timeline, I think that is what it is called, on Facebook. There was a news article stating the Navy was going to allow the women to wear their hair down, in a ponytail or braids. I did say " girls " originally but was immediately corrected that " girls " don't join the military, they are women! Yeah, well they are females no matter which way you say it and that was the point, but whatever. Guess we need to change the Navy song Anchors Aweigh , the next lines say, Anchors Aweigh my boys, Anchors Aweigh. Well just how misogynistic is that! Guess it'll have to be changed to Anchors Aweigh, whatever gender you identify as, Anchors Aweigh. Funny, it just doesn't have the same ring to it. When I attended boot camp at Great Lakes, Ill in 1971 we were required to sing that song every time we went through a tunnel under the highway. Wonder if they still do that? Well, whatever the case may be I listened to that news report and thought, does that mean the guys can wear braids and ponytails too? If not, how long before that ruling is contested? Remember we can't be identified as boys and girls, or women and men without our permission. We could be " trans " which is short for transitioning from one to other. I don't think there is a limit to how many times you can do that either, it all depends upon your feelings that day. I can picture some guy claiming he is transitioning and not being allowed to wear his hair down, or indeed grow it long, it is causing emotional stress and he is feeling marginalized! We can't allow that to happen! Each of us deserve the headline, not a mention in the margin.
 I really don't care what the Navy decides to do in that regard. In fact the original purpose of that " flap " on the back of the traditional Navy uniform was to protect the uniform from grease worn in the hair. Remember, in the pictures of the old time sailors with their ponytails, that's why it was there. Just change the flap when it got dirty. I do feel it has to be a uniform thing, that is why we call them the uniform services. So, that means to me all the other branches will have to follow suit. I was always told long hair wasn't allowed due to hygiene and safety concerns. The hygiene issue I would argue is a thing of the past, long past in fact. As to the safety risk, I'm not so sure, but it is better to be safe that sorry. Is the goal a unisex armed force? I've noticed that the girls, er women, er females, er unspecified gender specific personnel, have a skirt included in their uniform choices. They can wear the traditional Navy Uniform, the crackerjack or a skirt. I wonder can the boys, er men, er males, er unspecified gender specific personnel can also choose to wear the skirt? Hmm, if not wouldn't that then be misandrist? Now you don't hear that word much do you? Misandrist, it means hatred of men. And if I am a man in the Navy and you don't allow me to wear a skirt that is obviously what you are, a misandrist! Misandry will not be tolerated, we have a zero tolerance policy about that, don't we? If not, better institute one right away.
 The bottom line is things change over time. I get that and whether the armed forces allow long hair,  and what style they allow it to be worn in  is really of little concern to me. It is no more than a passing interest. The only issue I would have in any of this regards discipline. In order to have an effective fighting force you require personnel to follow orders. There is no time to debate whether an order is " fair " or not. Regulations are established to provide that uniformity. I question where this change in policy originated and why. I saw the uniform change several times while I was on active duty. The changes were always because someone stood to profit. Last I knew we were back to the traditional crackerjack uniform because it is what everyone wants. I concur with that, if I wanted to wear an Army uniform I would have joined the Army. I have noticed the Navy has taken to wearing blue camo. I don't know about anyone else but if I go overboard I don't want to be camouflaged. But, I'm certain the Navy has a reason for that, probably cheaper. But like I said, everything changes over time. But, back in my day! LOL Old sailors never die, we are just over the horizon. Anchors Aweigh my? Oh my!! 

life goes on

 My grandson has an interest in politics and government in general. I'd say Mark has mostly conservative leanings, surprising given the agenda the schools are pushing. But I'm not going to get into all of that. The thing is, Mark has always been on the conservative side. Now his sister has zero interest in any of it. I don't know what her political leanings are but I believe she has recently learned a lesson. You see, Morgan got her first real job babysitting, although I'm thinking there is probably a different name for it these days, perhaps family service daycare worker or something similar. Whatever you call it she watches anywhere from one to three children. She did receive her paycheck and after banking the obligatory amount in accordance with her parents rules, she was free to go shopping with the remainder. After doing so her comment was, it isn't easy to go shopping on a budget! And in that I realized she had learned a lesson about government, even if she wasn't aware of that. The lesson? It is far easier to spend other peoples money than your own! Yes, her liberal ways of spending are going to have to change. Being the intelligent young lady that she is, she did notice that on her very first experience.
 Setting aside the lesson in government I did find it amusing. Morgan had to work hard for that money, and being a beginner at babysitting and child care in general, it was quite stressful for her. Then having received her paycheck she was required ( you could say it's a parental tax ) to deposit a set percentage in her savings account. She wasn't as anxious to spend that money as when Dad or Mom was paying that much was evident. Ah, the lessons we have to learn in life. It was rewarding to me to see all of that, a sort of reassurance. I'm confident that Morgan is learning the value of a dollar and it is a valuable lesson indeed. Yes, I'm proud that my grandkids are learning about money. I'm hoping that she realizes when you are spending others peoples money that you have to exercise the same care and concern as if it were your own. It is a lesson far too many have failed to learn today in my opinion.
 One of the greatest joys in life is to watch your grandchildren grow and learn. It is doubly so when they are doing great. Yes, I'm full of pride for them and believe they are good kids. Do they have flaws? Sure, but not so you would notice anyway. It's a comfort and a reassurance that the world will go on. With all the stuff we see in the news, all the gloom and doom, I can see that it isn't all bad. I'm thinking Mark will be a leader, he's not much of a follower, never has been. He has that inner strength and conviction that is required to be a leader. Morgan hasn't decided what she wants exactly but Morgan has a compassionate soul. I can see her in health care or something similar. It's an amazing, thing really, like watching a flower bloom. You get a peek every now and again of what it may look like. But, I'm still waiting for the full bloom. It's an exciting thing. Morgan will be getting her learner's permit in the fall and wants grandpa to teach her to drive. That's exciting, just not in the same way! I can't help but think that one day she'll be a grandmother telling her grandchild, I remember when you had to know how to drive a car, yes that's right, they didn't drive themselves. And life goes on.  

Censored?

 I see where Facebook is advertising a campaign against " fake news. " They claim to be taking down bogus accounts and removing posts that are plainly untrue. Whereas I agree that all of that stuff is misleading and annoying,  do we really want to condone censorship? And make no mistake about it, that is exactly what it is. Whenever you remove, alter, or in any way inhibit the free exchange of ideas, you are practicing a form of censorship. Yes, it's kinda a big deal. The intent may be a good one, but censorship isn't!
 Okay, so you say Facebook is a privately owned corporation and you are subject to the terms of usage. Fair enough and I concur. As long as it is plainly and clearly stated in the terms of usage that you may be censored for any and all views, opinions, or statements you make that's fair enough. It is a free service provided for your enjoyment. You can take it or leave it. I can't argue with any of that. So, if you don't want to be censored, don't use Facebook!
 Why did this come about? It came about because people were complaining about the fake news. It came about because people have a tendency to believe what they read, especially when it fits the agenda they currently subscribe to. The old self fulfilling prophecy thing. Well, that and the Russians were buying political ads on Facebook and influencing our elections. All of that started to interfere with profitability and action was required. How to please all the people. We will censor things! You can only tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! Problem here is, whose truth? And that is at the core of censorship. Who gets to determine the truth? That is why I say all censorship is bad.
 There was a time in America when it was our spirituality that governed our thoughts and subsequently our speech. In short, it was bad to lie. Today, it isn't bad to lie, it's a mark of success to be the best liar! Alright that is a little bit of an exaggeration, but being creative with the truth is certainly considered an asset. But what happens when we don't want to hear other views and opinions. We censor that. The end result is government governs our speech! Yes, we had to pass legislation to prevent people from hollering fire in a crowded theater, I understand that, and it is a form of censorship. Today we have " hate speech " to govern the same action, ie: prevent people from being idiots. I know, it doesn't prevent anything but is supposed to serve as a deterrent. That is also the purpose of spirituality, to deter us from wrong actions. Both carry consequences! With the government it is monetary or imprisonment, with the spiritual it is eternity. But we are only talking about Facebook here. Facebook is going to determine the truth! Well not necessarily the truth just what they want you to read.
 I'll continue to use Facebook according to the terms of usage that I agreed to. Did you read all of that? I certainly didn't. As far as I know I haven't violated their terms and haven't had anything removed. I'm as equally certain there are those that wish they had, censored me I mean. LOL As far as any fake stuff on there goes, I'll figure that out for myself, thank you very much. My truth may not be your truth that much is certain, and that's alright with me. I know I'm right so that makes you wrong. It can't be wrong to be right! See how that works? I'll do the censoring around here!
     

The test of Time

I was thinking about this again last night, will you know it when you are dead? I wonder will I just kinda know and go, crap, I died? I don't think dying will hurt, I'm not worried about that. I just wonder if I will know that I did. I've written about this sort of thing before, there is little I haven't written about in the last eight years. I believe our soul is energy and therefore can not be destroyed. The whole discussion about what that energy is, and how it got there in the first place is an entire book in itself and I won't go into that. Suffice to say I believe the soul goes on after the physical shell we call our bodies has expired. As to seeing a bright light and traveling down a hallway or whatever I'm not so certain about all of that. I would think the experience is going to be different for each of us. I can't fathom a " manufacturing " process for Angels or whatever we become afterwards. I don't like thinking about Angels much, that doesn't seem to fit in with what I picture for myself, I can't see myself as an Angel.
 Currently that energy is being directed at being me. It is what makes me do and say the things I do. I like to believe that my brain is directing that energy, for the most part, ( free will ) but does get a boost every now and again, or a redirection from a higher intellect. Energy would have to form our intellect wouldn't it? Brain waves we call that, and when they quit, we quit. Amazing how some folks can operate utilizing so little of that, but that's a different subject as well. When the body quits where does that energy go? It has to go somewhere and get utilized in some fashion. I wonder if it is stored in it's entirety or just distributed throughout the grid. The later seems more likely. When that energy is distributed will I be aware of that? Will I know where I go? Maybe that's what ghosts are all about, they don't want to go, or don't want to be where they are. Ghosts are supposed to be someone right? That would indicate that they haven't been distributed yet, maybe acting like a battery, just a storage device. When would my energy be surplus?
 I don't know, it's just a question I will have to wait to discover the answer. There is only one way I will know for sure. I'm in no hurry to find out that much is certain. I do find it an interesting thing to ponder. I like to think that I will indeed be aware of it. I like to think I will say, so that is what I was on earth to do and I did good! At least that is my hope. In the end all will be revealed, I'll know the answers to the questions of life. I'm hoping I pass the test of time. I really don't want to think about failure. Can you fail? Hmm, that's something to really give some thought too. If you can just how are you supposed to study for the test? Who exactly has the crib notes? I think I know where to find them. Do you? 

The reality of Time

 And just like that, it's mid-summer. July the tenth, ten days till my birthday and the back to school supplies are on the shelf at Walmart. Memorial day has come and gone, the fourth of July has been celebrated, and this year debated. Up next, labor day. That's right labor day. And then the summer is over. Again I find myself asking, where does the time go? When school begins this fall my grandson will be a senior! A senior? How can that be? Well, truth be told I'll be 65 years old in a few days myself, 65 years. That's a long time. Regardless of all the catchy witticisms about growing older sixty five years is a long time! It was only 115 years ago that man took his first airplane ride. So, looked at in context 65 is a long time. The year I was born Queen Elizabeth II was crowned, the first color television sets were sold, the Polio vaccine was released to the public, the first Corvette was sold and James Bond himself was born! The Queen is still there, but all that other stuff has changed, dramatically!
 I planted my tomatoes and cukes a little later this year and so don't have a harvest just yet. They are coming though. I have yet to go to the beach. I haven't been fishing, crabbing or clamming either! And the summer is half over. Time is sure slipping away fast and I can't seem to get a grip. Well, truth be told I'm not even trying. I find making plans, even plans for recreational activities, to be stressful. I wonder why that is? Is it a product of aging? I'm thinking it must be. I'm not as spontaneous as I once was, unless it comes to taking naps, then I'm ready all the time. For everything else it seems I need to be prepared. I don't why that should be, I have no job, no obligation to be anywhere, and no one to answer to but myself, and my wife. And my wife doesn't have a lot of demands either, she will pretty much go with the flow as well. Maybe it is just a lack of motivation. When you are happy and contented with your surroundings why plan for anything more?
 I do think some of this comes from the media. We are constantly being bombarded with " entertainment " choices. We are told that not only should we go on vacations, we deserve them. It is practically mandatory that we go and do things and we should feel deprived if we don't. How many commercials do you see with people running on the beach, drinking adult beverages, traveling, attending concerts, playing golf, or otherwise just having fun. That is what life is all about right? Just having fun. It's why we work and save our money. Then we can vacay! Yes, that's the new catch word I hear all the time, Vacay! We even have staycations when it isn't a three day weekend. Maybe that is what I've been doing, having an extended staycation. Now I'm starting to feel like a need a vacation from my staycation! Is there no satisfying me?
 I did wake up thinking that summer is going by pretty quickly. I am thinking about going crabbing or maybe clamming. I have to drive a good distance to do either one, so it is a day trip. I do enjoy them but the motivation to go often doesn't override the hassle involved. Like I said, the planning gets to be stressful. I don't know, a lack of interest maybe? But I'm supposed to be all fired up about doing this stuff aren't I? The answer is no, I am under no obligation to do anything. But if I were to tell a " professional " about this I would probably be given a prescription! Yes, there are drugs for this, at least that is what is advertised. Better living through chemistry, or just smoking something might help. That message is broadcast quite a bit. If I am not living " life to fullest " I'm being cheated. I need to take action, therapy or some form of treatment. But just what is a " full " life? Well I guess that depends upon whether the " life " is half full or half empty in the eyes of the one living that life. I figure I'm about half full, I'm still adding to it. I wasted a lot of time just having fun and it's time to consider the realities. Realities aren't a bad thing, although there are many today that seem to think so. I'm thinking that is why all the distractions are necessary. All this concern with having a good time. All this concern with time itself.
 Now having spent some of my time writing down these thoughts it is time to move along. I've got a garden to water. Time well spent. That's a phrase I hear a lot. We are told to spend our time wisely. Don't waste your time. Time waits for no man and only time will tell. Each moment is precious right? " Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years. " ( Ausonius ) Yes, I agree. Time does bring happiness if you allow that process to take place. You can't force it, you can't manufacture that, patience is the key.      

jumping the past

 Last night on the history channel there was a live event. There was this guy, Travis Pastrana, attempting to complete three of Evel Knievel's most famous jumps. I stayed up long enough to see the first, an hour into the show. I won't tell the result in case you haven't seen or heard it. I haven't see the results of the other two, if they both took place. I have DVR'd the show and will watch later today. I knew nothing about this Pastrana before last evening. He is quite the accomplished rider and daredevil in his own right. Not being a person that is into motocross or the x-games I really had no reason to hear about his feats. He comes from Annapolis Maryland just a bit down the road from me. In a way he is a hometown boy if you subscribe to that sort of thing, you know, jumping on the bandwagon of celebrity and all. Whatever the case may be, I am interested to watch as he " pays tribute " to his childhood idol Evel Knievel.
 I admire how he insisted upon using the same type of motorcycle as Evel Knievel used. It was impressed upon us laypeople that Evel Knievels bikes weigh 350 lbs and have a suspension travel of about 4 inches whereas the bike Travis Pastrana would normally use weighs 210 lbs and has a 12inch suspension travel. I don't ride motorcycles but understand the difference would be a problem. It takes nerve to mount and attempt to out Evel, Evel Knievel! I have nothing but respect for that guy. The fact that he remained true to the original speaks volumes. Like I said, I did watch the first jump and it was like watching my childhood all over again. There he was, in those white leathers with the blue stripes and stars, cape flying behind. He had the white boots on and did a wheelie the length of the jump. And there he went, full speed up the ramp! And yes, when I was a kid I had that Evel Knievel stunt cycle toy and spent hours with that.
 I did get to thinking about all of that. I remember when Evel Knievel caught the attention of the world by crashing at Caesars Palace. After that, he was the man! He did become an icon, the first great daredevil. And then I thought you can't out Evel, Evel Knievel! That would be like trying to out Elvis, Elvis. It isn't going to happen, not ever. But then I realized he wasn't trying to do that at all, he was just paying homage. I'm certain there will be a certain amount of financial gain for him, some notoriety as well, but I don't believe he thinks he can reach the level of Evel. This guy has already done a double back flip on a motorcycle at the x-games! I didn't hear about that so that tells you something right there. What would a guy have to do to outdo Evel Knievel? The answer is there isn't anything I can think of. I do think that Michael Jackson came as close to eclipsing Elvis as anyone will ever come. His popularity reached that level but he never had the appeal to as broad a base as Elvis. You aren't going to out Elvis, Elvis!
 I wonder who will be next? In my opinion there hasn't been any real " super groups " in quite a while. I mean groups like the Beatles or the Rolling Stone. Where are the groups that have #1 hit after #1 year after year. It seems to me they just aren't there. I can't think of a " superhuman " like Elvis or Evel in the last twenty years or so. Yes there are those that have staying power, like Cher, Dolly Parton and the like. They have their house shows in Vegas doing their old hits. Elvis had new hits every year until he died. It is my feeling he would have continued to do so had he lived longer. Even when he was overweight and barely fitting into those jump suits he still had " IT " whatever it was. Travis Pastrana is trying to recreate Evel Knievel as a tribute. Yes, I believe that is his intent. Strangely Evel gained famed for crashing! If Pastrana didn't crash and completes that iconic jump will he feel like he is better than Evel? I will say this much, he got my attention. Mission accomplished! 

huh?

 There are times when I wonder what my connection to the universe is. I do believe we are all a part of that. Just how are we connected? Is it through what we call our soul? The soul is energy and can not be destroyed, that I believe wholeheartedly. So it seems the soul would be that connection. But, does the connection define the purpose? That is another question to be answered. We are free to act as we please. The actions we choose define our character. What is our character measured against? What standard is being applied? That is where morality enters the picture. Morality has no standard however, for only I know whether I am acting in a moral fashion or not. Morality is self determined! Man has created religion to instruct us in morality and man wrote the rules. The paradox is the rules come from a higher power, a divine presence in this universe. The precedents of morality are the same across all religious practice, it is the embellishments that complicate the situation. The way man connects to the universe.

 The purpose of faith is to connect ourselves to the universe. I think that is a fair statement to make. To be one with " god. " Being one with " god " allows us to direct our energy to the best advantage for the completion of a task. The real question in all of this is, just what is the task? To what purpose the universe? Never mind about your purpose, let's look at the bigger picture. To what purpose this universe? As far as we know this is the only one, although it is theorized there may be others, parallel to our own. I'll leave that for the theoretical physicists to ponder, I've got enough to think about. If we are energy connected to the universe and that universe is God, just what is God supposed to be doing? Wouldn't God have to serve a bigger purpose as well? Is God the purpose? Just what is the big picture?

 Now my head is starting to hurt. Maybe I shouldn't think about what my connection to all this is and just concentrate of being. Maybe that is the answer. I just am, like the universe just is. I can't really explain the why of either one. It could be I just don't need to know. Curiosity killed the cat is the old saying. This saying was originally, care killed the cat. Care in that instance meaning worry. So maybe I shouldn't be worried about any of that, just accept life for what it is. This life is only temporary anyway. Is the universe a permanent thing? If the universe is God that would certainly be the case. If I am connected to that universe, through the energy of my soul, I too am permanent. I'm just not going to worry about it.       

silent faces

 I'm a man that just loves photographs. Old photographs and new. The old cliché is that pictures are worth a thousand words. I would say they are War and Peace to me! Each picture speaks volumes to me and I can become lost in them. The ones I have taken, or was present when it was taken instantly transport me to that place and time. Visual aids are what I would call them, just like in school, they aid in memory. The older ones I either hear the story that was told to me when I received that photo, or create a story of my own. It is not just pictures of people but of places as well. The places are far more difficult to place in the context of time and places are often mistaken. The walls of my home are covered with the pictures of my family, ancestors and descendants!
 There are certain photographs that capture me. Those pictures are scattered about and I stumble into them. That's the way I describe that, it is an accidental occurrence. A simple glance and I am captured, not always, but sometimes. There are other pictures that do not have that quality and I have no explanation for that. I'm thinking it must be the same quality that causes people to purchase works of art. Why someone would pay millions for an abstract piece of art is a mystery to me but surely that art must speak to them. Perhaps they get lost in that, I just don't know. I've heard about the smile of the Mona Lisa for years but I don't see that attraction. I understand there are classes in art appreciation but I don't believe that can be taught. I took a music appreciation class many years ago and didn't learn a thing. I liked the same music before as after. I'm thinking art, of any kind, would be the same way. I would not be convinced that Pollock or Picasso were great artists. I know, I know, educated people believe that they are, millions are spent on there " art " but it has zero appeal to me. To me attempting to teach someone to appreciate that would be like teaching someone to love, it can't be done. It is all an emotional thing. That's what my pictures capture, emotion, and I've been told art is the same way. The big difference is my pictures are personal and art created by another is not. I require a personal attachment, a personal emotion before I am captured. That's not to say I don't admire a fine painting of landscapes and such, I certainly do. I love the works of Norman Rockwell, who doesn't, and that is because of a personal attachment to those illustrations. Rockwell had that ability and there are others similar to him, just not as famous. I do have a penchant for pictures that are obvious in what they depict. Emotions should be stirred, not shaken.
 There is a sad side to all of this. Pictures with silent faces. That is what happens when the last person with an emotional attachment to the photograph is gone. Following that, all that is left is curiosity. That photograph is dependent upon that emotion alone. If no one takes an interest, it is gone, discarded as a fragment of the past. A past that is now lost forever. That thought saddens me. I have, in my possession, photographs like that. Pictures of faces without a name. And I have a collection of pictures, some with a name, that were wartime buddies of my Dad. I hate to think of them being lost to time. Those pictures speak to me, asking to be saved, and I am compelled to comply. I just don't know what to do.
 Well this posting took a turn to the melancholy. I guess that is the mood I woke up to. It's alright you don't have to be all upbeat and positive every second of the day. I believe in a balanced emotional state. Part of the problem we are seeing today stems from that I believe. We are trying to be happy all the time! Then reality comes along and people get upset. You have to learn to enjoy " life " and accept the components of living. They aren't always fun but necessary to the balance. Take some time, look at a picture and write a book. The best stories are the ones relived. Give a voice to the past. Give a voice to those silent faces. Give them life.          

Celebrate or Commemorate?

 I had a brief discussion yesterday concerning relocating the 4th of July holiday to a Monday. Celebrating a holiday in the middle of the week proved inconvenient to some. I had mentioned I remembered the days before the Uniform Monday Holiday Act. That took effect in 1971. Prior to that we just celebrated the holiday on the actual day, regardless of the day of the week. If the holiday fell on a Tuesday that just meant the next year it would be on a Monday, something to look forward to. Those rare three day weekends were special occasions, not the norm. I do think celebrating the holiday on the actual date designated did add a bit of " special " to it. It seems a great deal of the time nowadays the holiday itself is lost in all the celebration of the three day weekend! That was the reason Memorial day was moved back to the actual date after having been included in this act. Veterans group protested. It was well known and agreed that this moving of holidays was strictly a commercial thing. The intent was to increase revenue by allowing for greater travel and " vacation " planning. Yes, the holiday takes a back seat to profits. You could say it was a continuation of the removal of those pesky blue laws. You know , the laws that restricted commerce on Sundays. Never mind about religious observances, there is money to be made. But all that is a change in society over the years. Changes that in my opinion weren't for the better. Culture and customs are important factors in developing patriotism and pride. I don't believe you can eliminate either one and expect the nation to remain the same.
 There was some discussion of when the documents declaring our independence was actually signed, all interesting historically. The internet can make historians out of us all and that is a good thing. The reason for those holidays is to remember and celebrate our history. They weren't created to serve as long weekends. I am of the opinion that when you get something too often it loses its' significance or importance somewhat. You do hear more people saying, it's a three day weekend more often than it's Veterans day or whatever. The more common question is, why are we having a three day weekend or when is the next three day weekend? When we celebrate on the date regardless of the day of the week, people are aware of the holiday itself. The holiday takes precedence! And that is the way it should be, the way it was intended to be and I propose we change it back that way. Quick, what date is Memorial day? What is the date of George Washington's birthday? When was Lincoln born? When I was in school prior to 1971 and all this rearranging of holidays the majority of us would have known those answers. Today I'm not so sure how many young people would be aware of that. Why is that? Because those two dates have been rolled into one and called presidents day. An attempt I suppose to not diminish the importance of other Presidents birthdays. Well I understand the sentiment but George was the first and Lincoln saved the Union so I do think they are entitled to their own dates. Both days are important in the history of this country.
 As I said in my comments on that little thread it is really of little importance. It is all a matter of opinion. Should we choose commerce over sentiment? Are we celebrating or commemorating? It is just another shift in attitude. Some time back I wrote a blog I titled Supplicant or Celebrant concerning the manner in which folks approach their God. I was taught to be a supplicant, approaching my God with humility and begging for forgiveness. Some approach their God shouting praises and thanking God for their salvation fully expecting that it has been granted already! And that is the difference in attitude I speak about. Neither action is right or wrong as long as the belief exists. It does appear to me that commerce is taking precedence in our lives and the spiritual is taking a back seat. Our founding Fathers called upon a higher power to guide them and to protect our nation. I can't help but believe we should continue in that manner. " And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor. " That is the last line in the Declaration of Independence, the reason we commemorate that date. ( We did have to choose just one) I still support that Declaration and pray for a mutual pledge from my fellow citizens. Anything less is unacceptable. So no, let's not move the date to be more convenient, let's not degrade the significance of what was Declared on that date in 1776. Let's remember and honor that Pledge to each other no matter what day of the week it is.  

a free range nation

 It seems things get a bit more ridiculous every day. I can't believe that I'm hearing otherwise intelligent people calling for the abolishment of the Immigration, Customs and Enforcement agency of the United States. Known mostly by the acronym ICE it has been in existence for 15 years following the attacks of 9/11. Yes, those attacks that we swore we would " never forget " yet many seem to have amnesia today. Really it was just a consolidation of several agencies under the one umbrella. A very logical and reasonable move when attempting to control a situation. And what are we trying to control? The entry into our sovereign nation of those that would do us harm! Basically we are locking the door and asking for credentials before allowing someone in. No different than asking, " who's there " before opening your front door. How anyone can think it is a good idea to have open borders is beyond comprehension. Are you stupid?
 If ICE were abolished we would just revert to what we had prior to 9/11. We had customs, we had the Immigration and Naturalization service and we had law enforcement, as in the FBI. There were other agencies as well. ICE has two major components, Homeland security and the Terrorism task force. I'm guessing it is the homeland security section that all these folks want abolished, or is it the terrorism task force? I mean I don't think anyone really wants to allow terrorists in our country but they don't want any questions asked either. Allow everyone in and figure it out later? Is that the plan? Like I said, how ridiculous can it get? I'll just leave the safe door open, after the money is stolen I'll solve the crime.
 I guess I should have expected this from these folks. And I just don't know who these folks really are, who could be that silly? But these are the same folks that believe if you choose to not enforce a law that makes it legal! Think sanctuary cities and the " legalization " of marijuana for recreational uses. Under federal law, the ultimate law of the land, both those actions are illegal! I don't care if they are enforced or not they remain illegal until removed from the books! Still that's the thinking with some, as long as I can get away with it, its' legal. We tell our children Santa Claus sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're a wake to teach them to do the right thing. Shouldn't we be teaching our children to obey the law whether you like it or not? But some are now teaching their children, abolish the law! No laws, no borders, no boundaries on human behavior. If it feels good just do it! And further isn't that the reason for the removal of God, of any faith in the current narrative. Then we have to answer to no one but ourselves. Then we are not bound to do the right thing at all. We can practice situational morality! And the beauty of that is I can tell those that oppose me it is morally wrong for them to oppose me!
 Yeah well, I'll just stay calm until next week when a new suggestion is offered. I can't imagine what will be next. Let's see, so far the election was rigged, the election was influenced by the Russians and the electoral college should be abolished. Then illegal aliens became illegal immigrants, immigrants, refugees and currently asylum seekers. Some states began issuing drivers licenses to these known illegals in the country and providing " assistance " in the way of my tax dollars. Now these " asylum " seekers are staging protests across the country demanding they be allowed to bring in their extended families without any vetting, any control whatsoever. These people are entering the country illegally and demanding they not be arrested because it is separating them from their families! It just can't get any more ridiculous, can it? A country without boarders? A " free range " nation? What, you want me to pay taxes to who? No, we abolished the IRS last week.
 Home , home on the range, where the deer and the antelope play, where seldom is heard, a discouraging word, and the skies aren't cloudy all day. Sounds great doesn't it. First I heard that song, then I heard about free range chickens and free range parenting. Now I'm hearing we just want free range to do whatever we want, whenever we want to do it, with whomsoever we wish, without restrictions. Throw open the doors!