Saturday, November 16, 2013

Get Tough

I see an increasing trend to try to litigate our problems away. The latest example being the football players. They are saying it is a case of bullying. Well let's jump on the bandwagon. Not too many years ago it was called hazing. And hazing was an issue. Before it was hazing it was called horsing around. You had to learn how to deal with it without hiring a team of lawyers. Yes, we were forced to develop life skills ! At least that is what they call it nowadays. In my time we called it, manning up.
Now I'm not saying the behavior is correct or acceptable. These behaviors all too often go way too far. What I am saying is, you can not just litigate them away. The world is a big cruel place and full of people that engage in this type of behavior. I think you need to learn to deal with it, thicken your skin a little bit ! Yes, I know that is an old fashioned idea and not a very popular one now. I do believe it is a valid point however. I'm not advocating running around getting into physical confrontations. I am advocating for standing up for yourself, on your own two feet, without a legal posse !
In the case of these football players or any professional sport for that matter one has to keep in mind the players, for the most part, are just young men. In my opinion most are still just kids, kids with a lot of money. Aggressive sports, like football, require a certain personality to play the game. Ever hear of a passive football lineman ? I can speak from experience about putting a bunch of young men together. I was in the service and witness to this phenomena. Some guys just wanna act real macho and domineering. Others join a group or clique if you prefer and get involved in things they shouldn't. I was subject to hazing along with everyone else, you learn to just deal with it. Minimal reaction on your part leads to a lack of interest on the pranksters part. You aren't any fun and they just move on.
The Alpha male has long been identified and admired in popular culture. The strong, hero type guy. This Alpha male is the type to engage in this particular activity. It is what they are. Aggressive and dominate. They do not dominate by intellect. Can we reasonably expect them to all become a passive/aggressive personality ?
The question lies in where to draw the line. When is it good natured fun and when is it abusive ? Can we write a guideline for that ? I don't think so. I do think that mental toughness is just as important as physical toughness. In fact, mental toughness may win out in the end. Quitters never win is what I was told. Can we expect children or young adults to develop any semblance of mental toughness if we teach them to just quit and hire a lawyer ? You hurt my feelings so, I sue you ?
Oh, it is a sticky wicket, as the saying goes. On the one hand these behaviors are totally wrong, and on the other part of human nature. It is a fact of life that the playing field is not equal. We are not all alike. I just think we need to teach more about how to deal with that fact instead of trying to change it through a series of laws. The Bible lays out a pretty good plan for living your life. There are few in this world that are not aware of the contents of that book yet we still have people treating each other badly. Go figure. I'm just sayin'.

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