Merry of Happy ?

I've been hearing that familiar phrase for a few weeks already. Merry Christmas. I got to wondering why Merry Christmas and happy everything else ? Why can't we have a merry birthday or Thanksgiving. Turns out many of us do. There was a time when I had a Merry  Friday night or whatever. My old friend Google provided some insight into this question. It appears that in Great Britain the word Merry implies that you are tipsy or drunk. Why Queen Elizabeth II prefers to say Happy Christmas and so do most Brits. News to me, I thought Merry Christmas was a universal thing.
A little reading up on the subject and the phrase seems to have become popular after Charles Dickens wrote the story, A Christmas Carol. After James Marley said to Scrooge, Merry Christmas, and scrooge replies with, anyone using that greeting should be boiled in their own pudding, the greeting seems to have caught on. Their was a card in England, released in 1843 that is the first known example of Merry Christmas and a Happy New year being used.
Now the singing of Christmas Carols being sung was started by beggars back in jolly old England. They would go door to door singing and begging for food and drink. In America the tradition was continued  but they would usually just get a drink. That custom may also have influenced the use of the term, Merry. Remember merry means a little tipsy. It does kinda tie the two celebrations together now doesn't it ?
Well from the little reading I've done on the subject that's my theory. The original carolers also danced in a circle while signing ! Staying warm, celebrating or did they just have to go to the bathroom ? Now there is a question for a real historian.
Oh, in the original book it does say , A Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night. I'll always say Merry Christmas, that phrase is ingrained. Happy Christmas just doesn't seem right at all. But now I can be like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory and have the answer to that question. And it is one of those questions that no one really cares what the answer is ! It can be amusing however, just don't get too Merry and start dancing in circles !

Memories of the 5 & Dime

The narrow, slightly warped boards on the floor creaked as you walked. There was no shine to this floor, no discernible finish at all, just swept clean wood. As you walked down the aisles you were surrounded. On each side were long wooden boxes, divided into bins. These boxes were on legs but so closely fitted together as to appear as one. They stretched from the front of the store to the back. Those bins, both large and small, contained all matter of goods. Everything from toys to clothes to cleaning supplies. There was candy and cards and ribbon and paper. Books and magazines. At certain times of the year they even had little turtles and different colored live baby chicks. This was the 5 & 10 cent store ! It was right there on main street and was one of my favorite places. I don't remember a whole lot about the rest of the store but I do know this, if you went in the front door, the one on the left hand side because there were two, and went straight for a few steps, turn left, go down that first aisle. That is where all the good stuff was. That is where the toys and really cool stuff could be found. It is where I always went, and where Mom would come and get me when it was time to go.
I do have a faint memory of this store having a automatic donut making machine. It sat somewhere close to the checkout counter. Really cool and an amazing machine. The checkout counter was really just a large table with two cash registers. The baseball cards and other small items were right there where the owner could keep an eye on them. The gentleman that ran and owned that stores' name escapes me at the moment, but I do remember he watched you like a hawk. He was a friendly enough man, very pleasant but you knew you were being watched. It kept larceny off your mind.
The ceiling was very high and covered in pressed tin. Several fans hung from long poles and would wobble as they turned. I tried not to stand underneath them. I don't recall the lighting system in there but it always seemed a little dim.
Now this 5 & 10 was not a F.W. Woolworth. It was independently owned and operated. No great lunch counter in this store. It was a store I visited each time I went to town. It was a great place to shop for Christmas and any other special occasion. I wonder when it finally closed it doors. That certainly would have been a sad day. My first Little Golden Book may have come from there. I know I got a turtle there at least on one occasion. They were in a fish tank right on the checkout counter. The colored Easter chicks were in a cage by the front window, if memory serves. To this day I can not walk into a store with those old wooden floors without the memory of this store coming to mind. I unconsciously head for that first aisle. I haven't seen a store with those bins in a while. They displayed the wares nicely.The things I was looking at were not individually wrapped like they are today. The item was just there, sitting in that bin waiting for you to pick it up. Very convenient. No bar codes to scan, the price was clearly marked, hand written on a little white tag. Oh, and I seem to remember the really good toys, the expensive ones, being on a shelf, out of reach of little hands or hanging on the wall. You had to get someone to take it down for you. If it came down, you usually got it. Mom wouldn't bother the person just so you could look at it ! It was exciting if Mom said, I'll ask, if you wanted to hold it because the chances were pretty good you would get it.
That was all in the day when you normally only got toys for your birthday and Christmas. You didn't just get stuff for no reason. At least the stuff that cost more than a dollar or so. Those really good toys hung there on the walls or sat on those shelves calling to you. I remember standing there and admiring them and Mom saying, maybe for Christmas, let's go. And that would be in July ! Each time I went back I would check to see if that toy was still there. Some other kid might have a birthday and get it first. It was first come first served. There was only one of those toys displayed at a time, so you never knew. It was a form of child torture. It did teach you patience and about disappointment. It was also used as a weapon. Mom saying, you can just forget about that toy at the 5 & 10 if you are going to act like that ! Depending on how close to Christmas or your birthday it was, it was pretty effective.
All of that was fifty years ago or so, so my memory has faded some. I wonder how much I really remember and how much is entering the realm of myth and legend. No matter, it is my myth and my legend so I can tell it anyway I want too. That is the best part about memories anyway.

A Hallmark Holiday

I have often thought it would be wonderful to have a Hallmark holiday. You know what I mean. Relatives flying in from all over the country. Arriving a day ahead of time and staying in their old bedrooms or bunking in the guestrooms. That happens in the Hallmark holidays because you have a huge house. Aunts and Uncles, brothers and cousins all gathered together. And one is an addict and another turns to the lord. Excitement,drama and a happy ending ! Now that is the formula for a Hallmark Holiday ! No one has money problems in these scenarios, no one has to rush back to work and no one ever gets in any serious trouble. It is always a hoot and a holiday to remember.
After thinking about that for a while I just laugh and remember how mine have usually gone. Over the years, with my parents and with my own family, I have never had more than a couple guests. As a kid at home it might be an Aunt and Uncle. Thinking back, that is all I can remember about anyone else being there, We certainly never had anyone fly into town and stay with us. No guestrooms at my house. I have had my own children and their wives over for Thanksgiving. That's about as close as it gets around here.
This year it is going to be a little different. My wife and I are driving to upstate New York to have Thanksgiving with my son Kenny and his wife. He purchased a new home this past year and we are going to celebrate with him. So, this is going to be a Hallmark holiday for us. He even has a guest room. We are taking Mark and Morgan, our grandchildren, with us as well. They are anxious to visit with their cousin and see New York. Yup, just like on TV. Maybe we'll even play " I Spy " in the car on the way up.
I do hope that there is little to no drama involved. Seems like that always happens in those movies on television but I figure that is Hollywood. Wouldn't be very entertaining without it. No, I'm hoping for a day of watching football and eating ! Food and Football sounds like a good plan to me. We are staying Friday so that day will be for everything else.
I do feel a little anxious about the whole thing. I have never driven any distance on a holiday weekend or in this case during the week. I have never just showed up anywhere without bringing something. I have been instructed to not bring any food of any kind with me. They want to do the whole thing. I understand that, they are excited to be hosting this Hallmark Holiday ! It is their time to show their new home and be the stars. I'm happy for them. Looks like I am going to have that holiday I often thought about. I can't wait. Hope that there are no big " reveals " though. No plot twists or hidden agendas. I better quit thinking about it, I'm getting nervous. LOL

A small world

Mine was a small world. I didn't know that at the time, those living in that world seldom do, but it has taken years to realize just how small it really was. The farthest reaches of that world was twenty five miles to the west of me. I knew the places in between my home and that far away place. There was Bridgehampton and Watermill to pass through.  South Hampton and Flanders, Then Riverhead itself. I seldom traveled that far. In fact I seldom left the town of East Hampton. Anytime I did that it was for a special reason, you didn't just go running around willy nilly. To go to other places you had to deal with strangers and you can't trust strangers. Those people " from away " could be deceitful and mean. I had heard about them my whole life and knew to be leery. Across the sound from me, that's what we always called it, " the sound " which is more formally known as Long Island Sound, was the far away land of Greenport and beyond that Connecticut. That's where television came from. I had heard tell of the old folks sailing to those places. That was in the time before automobiles were common. Back and forth across the sound the way we would drive up the road to Riverhead. I could see doing that as a matter of practicality, but it wasn't a voyage to be taken lightly either. Many a boat and ship has been lost in those waters. Just about eighteen miles to the east of me was Montauk. Montauk, the end of the Island. Not much there besides a light house and some good fishing. Had to be careful of those Montauk girls too, at least that is what I was told. I don't remember the big issue with them, but they were to be kept an eye on. Best not to get involved with them. Of course, that made them all the more attractive. Dating or marrying one of those Montauk girls was liking dating a foreigner ! Might just as well go to Riverhead and find a girl for that matter. Later in life I married a girl from Commack ( another distant land ) ! Might just as well have been a foreign country. In the end, it didn't work out, but that is another story altogether.

I was born into this little world. It was a world of us and those " from away. " Those from away brought the money and we did the work. That is the way it was. We that were born there had no desire to leave there. Everything we loved and needed was right there. It was during my generation that television became a big thing. Oh, it had been around a while by '53 but in our town three channels was the extent of it. We watched shows that was broadcast from Ct. It raised our awareness of the outside world that much is sure. I'm sure it did for all Americans. I remember seeing Kennedy shot on television. Then a man named Jack Ruby shooting the man that shot Kenendy. I watched hippies, with their long hair, electric music and free loving. I saw families driving in their cars and going on vacations. Some drove their cars hundreds of miles, a difficult concept to grasp. I watched a war. Vietnam and those images on television. I will always remember them.

This was at a time when most guys either got a job after high school or joined the military. Yes, some went off to College, but only the rich kids, not us common folk. And so in the Navy I went. I sailed away from that little world and have never been able to go back. The place is there, but the time has passed. And that is the hardest part to accept of all. The passage of time. Well, it happens and will continue to do so. Even after all my travels and adventures around the world, and right here in this country, I have discovered something. Walt Disney was correct is saying, " It's a small world after all. "

Community Commitment

We had a book signing last evening at the Greensboro Historical Society Museum. The Society has published a book we titled Bygone Images of Greensboro and as the name implies it is a collection of photographs dating back to the early 1800's. We had a surprisingly good turnout. There was much talk of the old days and the way things used to be. Stories were told and memories shared. All in all, a very pleasant evening.
Toward the end of the evening a lady asked the question how could we revitalize the downtown area. She was speaking of attracting business and commerce. She ,along with a lot of others, think of the day when new life can be breathed back into the town. Naturally a discussion of funding followed. It was at this point I felt compelled to speak. It is my belief unless you first establish community, any venture to revitalize downtown will be met with failure. That is, unless a tremendous windfall was to befall the town to attract a major business to employ hundreds. Barring that, we are on our own. I also believe community is people. It is the citizens of the town that make the community. Buildings,clubs and functions are secondary to that. Religious affiliation, race and national origin should also be second to that. Community must come first.
With the anniversary of the assassination of Kennedy on my mind I was reminded of his famous words, " ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."  That same statement applies to a community. We can begin by just saying hello. The simple act of acknowledging your fellow citizens can go a long way to establishing a community. Let's get to know one another. It doesn't take festivals,parades, bazaars and large mass gatherings to accomplish this. It takes saying, hello.
Community involvement does not have to include vast sums of money. Many things cost little or nothing at all. By all working together for the common good, much can be done. In this modern world of mass transit,mass communication and the ability to retrieve information so readily, why have we become so isolated from one another ? It would seem we longer have the trust in our fellow man that we once enjoyed. Why do we find it so hard to accept others for who they are ? We have become a paranoid society. We have closed the door on community !
What will be my contribution to the community ? I have an interest in history and the recording of the past. The preservation of the old cemeteries is important to me. Those souls there are a part of the community as well. Saving the past is not just saving old buildings and artifacts. Saving the past includes recording the thoughts and feelings of the community over the ages. The explanation of why and the logic employed to arrive at certain decisions can be fascinating. What I like to call the justification of man. We can come up with some pretty strange ideas at times.
I can get pretty wound up about the subject of community. I become annoyed when I am told community is money and business. It is not. Those things are the by-products of a healthy community. A healthy community begins with its' citizens. You get the people together and the rest comes along naturally.

Forgiveness

Once again I turn on the news to hear about a disgraced congressman. This time it is Florida congressman Trey Radel. Arrested for purchasing cocaine , there is no doubt about his guilt. He has already faced a judge and received his punishment. He was sentenced to one year of probation, for what in D.C., is a misdemeanor drug charge. He is now taking a leave of absence to enter a rehab facility. He says he will give his salary to charity during this time.
I realize that these elected officials are only human like you and I. They make mistakes and do bad things. They have weaknesses. I watched this man standing at the microphone apologizing for his actions. What struck me was his attitude. He did seem a bit contrite, but a little defiant as well. What he was saying was that all he asked for was forgiveness. The issue I have is that he expects it, almost demands it, as some sort of right. I had to ask myself a question. Should forgiveness just be given or should it be earned ? Does not Jesus say, ask and you shall be forgiven ? At the same time is not repentance necessary ? Is penance a prerequisite to that forgiveness ?
On one level I do think he should be removed from office. If I were to be convicted of drug usage I would certainly lose my commercial drivers license. With other occupations that are subject to drug testing, that would also be the result. This man violated a sacred trust. A trust between himself and all those that voted for him. Those that walk the halls of congress should be held to a higher standard, don't you think ? I can't help but feel that in the current climate one can do just about anything, just say I'm sorry, receive some form of treatment and that is that. This leave of absence is being funded by you and I. His giving it to charity does not change the disbursement of those funds. That doesn't make it aright. If I fraudulently obtain money from you, but give it to someone else, does that exonerate me from the crime ? I don't think so.
Now I'm not saying he shouldn't be given a second chance. What I am saying is he should have to pay the consequences of his first actions. I think he should be removed from office. Following his successful completion of whatever treatment and therapy he becomes eligible again. For me, he would have to demonstrate that he is deserving of my trust once again. It is incumbent upon him to restore my confidence in him. Being held fully accountable for your actions is not a form of persecution. It is prosecution.
I do think that forgiveness should be given, but not asked for. Is that not the function of mercy ? Mercy begets forgiveness. Do they regret the deed or regret being caught ? It is either extreme weakness or extreme arrogance that leads someone to jeopardize their position. Should it make a difference in the punishment which one it is ?  Should it make a difference in the granting of forgiveness ?
These are all tough ethical questions. Questions that test our judicial system and our faith. For me I think you should have to do your penance first and pray for forgiveness. Forgiveness must be earned. Mercy may be granted. Therapy for a problem should not constitute forgiveness for the problem. The therapy is to correct the issue, punishment is the penance.

Candles and Christmas

I was a member of St. Luke's Episcopal church throughout my childhood. It is the church I was baptized in and took my first communion. I was a member of the junior choir and went on to serve as an acolyte. I have many fond memories of that church and the fellowship that was there. As the Christmas season is close upon us I was thinking about how we always decorated the church. A large group of us would meet in the evening and put everything up. Parents and children all working together. The  layout was always the same. It did look beautiful.
It was at this time of the year we also had a candlelight service. We called it the Festival of Lights. At the end of the service each one of us left with a lighted candle. The object was to try to get it home still lighted. Two or three kids in a car with lighted candles was always a bit of a challenge, but we managed it. It is a good memory.
It is funny how I did this every year as a child, but remember so little about it. Exactly what day we did it I don't recall. That this Festival of Lights is a Jewish holiday I don't recall being told. I only knew the Jewish people lit a candle a night for Hanukkah. That the service took place in the evening I know because it was always dark going home. And that is about all I remember.
Another little memory was going Christmas caroling. The church had a bus and we went to various homes and retirement centers. I think I only went two or three times. I do remember that following the caroling we went back to the church hall and had hot chocolate and cookies.
Finally I can remember going to Jesus's birthday party. We all assembled in the hall for cake and ice cream. Santa Claus made his appearance and every child there got a present. It was an amazing thing to a child when Santa called your name. We all sang Christmas carols and of course, Happy Birthday. Seems like I remember also getting a small box of hard candy. A box like one animal crackers came in, with a little string handle. Also for some reason Oranges come to mind.
It was a wonderful time of year. I wonder if the church carries on those traditions today. Does Santa still come ? Is there a birthday party ? Ah, childhood memories make me smile. We had candles to take home and candles on the birthday cake. Candles are forever linked to Christmas. 

Bayblood not Blueblood Bub !

Living on the eastern end of Long Island I had access to the bay as well as the ocean. I took that for granted. There is a lake in Montauk and I had seen it a few times, but wasn't impressed. The closet thing to a river I saw was down to Hands creek ( pronounced crik ) where it emptied into the bay, or more properly, the harbor. Being born there I didn't give much thought to living on an Island. I knew about Gardiners Island out in the bay and Shelter Island. Somehow they seemed more like Islands than the one I was living on. Isn't that strange ? I had been to both of those Islands and they sure felt like islands should feel, isolated. That was probably because you couldn't just drive to either one. To get to Shelter Island you had to take a ferry. Sure, you could take a car on that ferry, but if the ferry boat doesn't run, you aren't going anywhere. Gardiners Island was different. It was a private Island only accessible by boat. In the distant past Captain Kidd himself had been on that piece of real estate. Now you don't get much more of an Island than one used by a pirate !
My home was closer to the bay than it was to the Ocean. The ocean was a good three miles away. The bay is where I usually went swimming and fishing. We had  boats and played on the bay but always keeping in mind just how dangerous it really was. Many a life was lost on Gardiners bay. More than one of them ancestors of mine. I had been told tales about that and was leery. The Ocean was a different thing altogether. The Ocean was where you went to sit in the sand and try to meet girls. It was not a place to go swimming ! Sure, like everyone else I was macho enough to go splashing around in the waves and bounce up and down in the surf, but I didn't like it. Still don't. The surf is no place to be clowning around. It's a good place to catch some stripers in the fall but that's about it, as far as I am concerned. No surfing for me ! The upstreet kids went there and the wealthy. Yeah, all the "cool " people and tourists go there. Some of those upstreet kids even had there own bathouse lockers. I had heard about changing rooms and stuff but was never in there. I may have bought a soda from the concession stand, but don't remember doing so. Again, that was for the rich kids. Like I said, I didn't go there very often. The only time I really enjoy the ocean is walking along the shoreline in the off season when it is quiet and uncrowded. I like to hear the sound of the surf and gaze out across that great expanse of water. The ocean has many moods and I enjoy them all.
Since those days I have seen just about every body of water you can think of. I've been on the oceans and seas of the world. I have traveled the Mississippi river, been on the Great Lakes and sailed Lake Pontchatrain. Now I live on the Delmarva Peninsula. The Delaware bay is to the west and the Atlantic Ocean to the east. The Choptank River runs right through the middle of Greensboro. It takes a little while to get to the bay or the ocean so I seldom go. I sometimes wish I could live a lot closer to either one. I have to tell you the river just isn't the same. Well, they say you never know what you have until it is gone. There is truth in that. On the plus side the river does have catfish. I love catfish. Would rather have a catfish than a striper. I don't have to put on waders and brace against the cold to catch catfish. I can just sit in the shade on the riverbank. Not a bad thing.
The bay will always be in my blood. It is just my heritage and there is no escaping that. I do miss the clamming and scalloping and fishing from a boat. It is alright though, I'll always have the memories and often memories are better than the real thing ! Not quite as cold or uncomfortable. Also not as tiring. Yes, sitting on the bank and catching catfish just might be the best thing. I'm nothing, if not adaptable.

Soak Hide

I lived on the edge of Northwest woods growing up. There wasn't many kids close by to play with and so I found ways of entertaining myself. Across the main road, Springy Banks Road, was a small patch of land. This piece of land had been given to the town at some point and was a game preserve. I didn't know anything about all of that, I just saw an old weathered sign on a tree saying No Hunting,game preserve. I couldn't see why anyone would want to hunt in there anyway. In the center of it ran the dreen. Now you may not be familiar with that term,dreen. Dreen is an old English word meaning drain. This dreen or drain ,if you will, emptied into three mile harbor. It is strange now to think about it, but I never did follow it to its' source.
On the far side of the dreen there where houses, my Uncles house being the second one out. A man named Dave Jacobs lived in the one closest to the dreen. The name of their road was Soak Hide. They said the Indians ( Native Americans ) soaked their hides in that dreen and evidence was found of them being there. I never found anything myself, but then I wasn't looking either. One thing I did know about this dreen is you could ride a bicycle right up the center of it. It wasn't more than a few inches deep and the center was quite hard. The center strip of ground was very light in color. Deer, along with other small animals came to that dreen to drink. I saw many a raccoon wash his food there. When I wasn't riding my bike in it, which in all honesty became boring real quick, I would walk along the sides of it playing Indian. I would hide in the underbrush and spy upon the white man. This little area of land was like my hundred acre wood. When I was younger, it is where I would go, the much larger Northwest woods being a bit intimidating for this explorer. There was no getting lost in there. Just go to the dreen and follow it out again.
Also in this little patch of ground grew running pine and princess pine. Both of these were cherished by my Mom for holiday decorating. I went there every year to collect it. The place was loaded with squirrels. Deer liked it too. The deer loved to eat the tops off the princess pine. A little brown shoot that resembles a grain of wheat. I think it is like candy to them. It was the only part of the plant they would eat.
I recently went on Google earth and was pleased to see that little piece of land still there, apparently untouched. The satellite view is pretty amazing. I couldn't see if the pines still grow there but I expect they do. My initials were on a certain tree and I wonder if they are visible. I'm certain the old box turtle " timothy " with his brightly painted shell has long gone to meet his maker. I put him in those woods back in '63. The source of that dreen is still a mystery to me and I think I will leave it that way. I do hope to go visit that place again someday. As a kid I was worried that I could be arrested for being in the game preserve and so took evasive actions whenever anyone else came around. I evaded the town police on more than one occasion. I'm betting I still can.

Grandparents

I was talking with my Mom when the subject of Grandmas came up. She, of course, has reached Great Grandmother status and so can speak expertly on the subject. My Mom was the youngest of ten children. She remarked to me how old she thought her Mom looked to her when she was growing up. A little old lady with grey hair,a stooped back and always wearing a house dress and apron. She said her Mom never wore makeup or lipstick that she was aware of. Grandma was forty when my Mom was born. I remember Grandma being in her seventies. She looked seventy too. I don't say that to be mean, but as an observation. On September 16,1929 my Mom was born. The next day, her eldest sister Edith had a son. Remarkable, probably not that uncommon for the times. Her sister, my Aunt Edith was nineteen. And so my Mom grew up with a grandmother for a mother.
I believe most of us growing up think of our parents as old. They act old, they are always calling us kids and they look old. Let's face it, they are old. Age is all relevant. It is only we get some years on us that we begin to change our opinion of what is old. I'm sixty and that ain't old ! Grandparents now, they are old ! Your parents parents. The idea of it is almost incomprehensible to a five year old. Grandchildren tend to think that Grandparents where just born being a grandparent. They were never young ! Even now, it brings a smile to my face to consider that possibility. Grandma out on a date ? Really ? Back then it wasn't even dating, it was courtin', looking for a husband. The idea of dating just for the fun of it ? What, no way Grandma did that.
The only grandparents I knew where older people. My moms' mom was in her seventies, and her husband had passed away. My father was raised by his Grandfather and that was the only Grandparents I knew from his side of the family. Gramp, as I called him, was in his eighties. The grandparents I knew where the grandparents you would think of from a Norman Rockwell picture. Stereotypical Grandparents. Old.
That is my perspective on it.
I wonder if the kids of today, my own and their children, will share this same view ? I don't think so, after all, I'm not that old. I am pretty active and play games with them, physical games like tennis,basketball and soccer. My Grandparents certainly never did anything remotely close to that. As far as the lady Grandmas I know, they certainly don't resemble any that I remember. The Grandmas of today are quite different. There mode of dress is a stark contrast to days of old. Hair color,makeup and all that is being used for sure. I'm not seeing many orthopedic shoes. Yes I would say the Grandmas of today would not be painted by Norman Rockwell in the same way. I don't think Norman would even know that style !
We are living longer,healthier lives that much is undeniable. I hope we live long enough to gain the one thing the grandparents of old all seemed to possess, wisdom. It always seems like there is a trade off to be made for anything gained. Quality for quantity. Well maybe we haven't gained there wisdom just yet, but there is nothing that says you can't look good doing it. Not that I've noticed personally you understand, I only have eyes for one Grandma, but these Grandmas today, well I'll leave it at that.

Homey !

Yesterday I hung a few more pictures in my gallery of ancestors and descendants. I have begun to concentrate them in the corner above my computer desk. They are close together and I rather like the effect. Makes me feel at home. They are all familiar faces, even the ones I never met when they were living. I guess that comes from doing the family tree. They are not nameless faces.
As I sat back for a few minutes to admire my work it occurred to me that, for me, the essence of decorating is familiarity and comfort. Those pictures span about eleven decades in time. A good look back at the faces that have shaped my world. Looking around my house I began to see other objects that I could place in terms of time. New things and old things. Some things are treasures from the past and some are just things I have acquired over the years. I don't think of myself as a collector of anything in particular, but I do seem to have collected a bunch of stuff over the years. I don't think there is a rule that a collection has to be a singular group of objects, like toys or dishes. A collection can be just what you collected in your journey through life. An eclectic collection. The reason for keeping them is not important, it is their survival that gives them value. Well, that isn't exactly true, it is the value that you assign to them that makes them that way. The story behind the thing. With me the story isn't always my own but one passed down with the object. I do have a number of things where I witnessed the story and in some cases created that story.
I do think that your home should reflect your age. The objects sitting on your shelves or hanging on your walls shouldn't look like they belong in a museum, but shouldn't look like you just took them out of the box either. I'm sixty now and I should have things from several preceding decades. Remember going to Grandmas house ? She had funny old things didn't she ? Objects of curiosity. I think all homes should have that. All homes should look lived in. The inhabitants of that home should be able to explain the story of those curious objects as well. You need to be familiar with them. They need to be yours. If you are not completely comfortable in that home how can you expect anyone else to be ?
I do wish that I lived in the ancestral home. I think that surely must be the best. All the memories contained within those walls from generation to generation. That was not to be in my case. I have moved from place to place. I couldn't take the walls with me, but I have taken the memories. Memories are sometimes contained in objects. Articles from our childhood, objects our ancestors owned and even old stuff just purchased. These objects can help in making our homes comfortable. It does pay to keep in mind that these things are not essential to our happiness. The enjoyment of the article is in using that object. Whether you use it strictly for decoration or its' intended purpose, it should be used. I think if when you come into my home you can feel comfortable and make a connection to my home, I have accomplished the job of decorating. Ideally my home should feel somehow familiar to you. That is that " homey " feeling we all strive for. In current slang my intent is to make you feel like my " homey ! "


                                                                                   

My little corner, it's messy !

Get Tough

I see an increasing trend to try to litigate our problems away. The latest example being the football players. They are saying it is a case of bullying. Well let's jump on the bandwagon. Not too many years ago it was called hazing. And hazing was an issue. Before it was hazing it was called horsing around. You had to learn how to deal with it without hiring a team of lawyers. Yes, we were forced to develop life skills ! At least that is what they call it nowadays. In my time we called it, manning up.
Now I'm not saying the behavior is correct or acceptable. These behaviors all too often go way too far. What I am saying is, you can not just litigate them away. The world is a big cruel place and full of people that engage in this type of behavior. I think you need to learn to deal with it, thicken your skin a little bit ! Yes, I know that is an old fashioned idea and not a very popular one now. I do believe it is a valid point however. I'm not advocating running around getting into physical confrontations. I am advocating for standing up for yourself, on your own two feet, without a legal posse !
In the case of these football players or any professional sport for that matter one has to keep in mind the players, for the most part, are just young men. In my opinion most are still just kids, kids with a lot of money. Aggressive sports, like football, require a certain personality to play the game. Ever hear of a passive football lineman ? I can speak from experience about putting a bunch of young men together. I was in the service and witness to this phenomena. Some guys just wanna act real macho and domineering. Others join a group or clique if you prefer and get involved in things they shouldn't. I was subject to hazing along with everyone else, you learn to just deal with it. Minimal reaction on your part leads to a lack of interest on the pranksters part. You aren't any fun and they just move on.
The Alpha male has long been identified and admired in popular culture. The strong, hero type guy. This Alpha male is the type to engage in this particular activity. It is what they are. Aggressive and dominate. They do not dominate by intellect. Can we reasonably expect them to all become a passive/aggressive personality ?
The question lies in where to draw the line. When is it good natured fun and when is it abusive ? Can we write a guideline for that ? I don't think so. I do think that mental toughness is just as important as physical toughness. In fact, mental toughness may win out in the end. Quitters never win is what I was told. Can we expect children or young adults to develop any semblance of mental toughness if we teach them to just quit and hire a lawyer ? You hurt my feelings so, I sue you ?
Oh, it is a sticky wicket, as the saying goes. On the one hand these behaviors are totally wrong, and on the other part of human nature. It is a fact of life that the playing field is not equal. We are not all alike. I just think we need to teach more about how to deal with that fact instead of trying to change it through a series of laws. The Bible lays out a pretty good plan for living your life. There are few in this world that are not aware of the contents of that book yet we still have people treating each other badly. Go figure. I'm just sayin'.

And the beat goes on

It has been this way for a while but I just thought about it. We no longer have to spin it, to listen to music. We did ever since Edison invented his wax discs. We had records, in four different speeds. Do you remember the numbers ? It was fun to change the speed while listening too. Then we had eight track tapes, they didn't spin around but certainly were moving. Same with cassette tapes. Compact disc ushered us into the age of digital music but they were back to spinning and spinning really fast. Somehow the records and tapes and even the cd's made sense because they were moving. Now these flash drives or I-Pad things, whatever they call them, have no moving parts ! Nothing is moving at all so just how does the music work ? Ah, what does it matter I don't even want to think about it.
We played the records backwards at times to hear the hidden messages. We played them faster to get that chipmunk sound. Sometimes they would get stuck and we had to nudge the needle, a stylus if it was a Hi-Fi set. The hip hop boys use the record for some kind of sound generating thing. I'm not even sure of the purpose of that back and forth scratching the record motion. Seems to me that is about the only way I see records being used anymore.
I like music. I've always had a device to play music on. I started with 45 RPM records and long play albums. I have progressed through all the technical changes. I never did collect records of any kind. I just bought them, listened to them and pretty much was done with them. I've got cd's around here somewhere. They sit collecting dust. Now it is You Tube. That is the way I go. I can listen to anything at anytime. For music on the go I still just use the radio. If I where to be going a lot I would get that XM radio I hear about.
I remember asking people if they bought the record. Now you ask if they got the download. Things change and technology moves forward. The music is still playing anyway and will continue to do so. Records did have there drawbacks, they got scratched or broken but they had an advantage over everything that has come along since, with the right player you could just wind it up. The record would spin and music would play. There is no hand crank on an I-Pod. No moving parts ? Humm, it's like magic.

Names

The name given to us by our parents effects who we are. At least I think it does. I got my fathers name, so become a junior. I was never called junior however, I was referred to as little. Even as a kid I didn't like that much. My " official " name is Austin Bennett Reichart, Jr. I have never been called Austin , except by an occasional teacher until I corrected them. I was Little Ben to my family and Bubba to my father. Why he always called me that I just don't know, but he did. To most others I was known as Benny. I hadn't really really given that any thought until recently. I joined a group on Facebook called hometown connect. On there I reconnected with some high school classmates. Some of those classmates I was close too and others we were more of acquaintances. In their responses to me most call me Benny. I chuckle because I haven't been called Benny in years. At some point in my life I became just Ben. I'm pretty certain I chose to be called Ben. I think most male names ending in " ny " the " ny " part gets dropped. Danny becoming Dan, Donny Don and so on. More masculine that way. I did know an adult man named Benny and he went by that. It fit him well. I wonder if Benny fit me in high school and would it fit today ? Does your name fit who you are ? My real name of Austin would seem to me to be a better choice for myself at this time in my life. If I could have chosen back then, knowing what I know now, I think I would have chosen Zebulon, Zeb for short. I have an ancestor that was named Zebulon. It was also the name of the Grandfather on the Waltons. I would have a middle initial, B, but it wouldn't stand for anything. It would just be Zebulon B. Reichart. I like that name. The initials are cool too, Z.B. R. Distinctive.
I have written before of the name thing. I do wonder if I hadn't been little Ben, Benny or Bubba would I have developed a different personality ? I believe with that name, came an unconscious need to be that name. And that name was my father. I tried to be like him. You could say all little boys want to be like their father but I don't believe that. Some of my friends certainly didn't. I will say that most adopted some of their fathers attitudes about core issues in life, but not all wanted to be him. There was a time when I wanted to walk like him,talk like him and really be him ! He was larger than life to me when I was young. That did change as I grew older and began to see chinks in the armor. I discovered he was just a man after all. A disappointment and a relief. He was definitely an influence and that influence was somehow tied to the name. He was Ben !
Actors change there names to sound more appealing. Think of John Wayne, Marion ( his real name ) just wouldn't cut the mustard now would it ? Wouldn't it be cool if we could just change our name whenever it suited us ? I mean, really change it. You get up in the morning and your Facebook account now says, Zebulon and all your friends and contacts are calling you Zeb. You go to work and are greeted with, Morning Zeb. All memory and traces of Ben, Benny or Bubba is gone. Maybe it should be a law. Once you reach a certain age you must then pick a suitable name for yourself. You could keep what you already have or choose another. What would you do ? Do you think the choice of a name effects a childs' development ? I guess we will never the know the answer to that question. I can't see a way to conduct an experiment to test that theory. Well I suppose if I wasn't Ben, Benny or Bubba I would never have thought of this at all so I have the right name after all, or do I ? What would Zebulon have to say about that ?

A good talking to

At one time I took a course in sales. This course was taught by a psychologist. The title of the course was aptly named, the Psychology of the sale. The main theme was teaching you the five steps to the sale. The first step being conversation. Just start talking, being real friendly like. The object of this conversation was to awaken the curiosity of the person. To get them asking questions and interested in your product. When they asked a question you were to respond with conviction ! Using phrases, like you can, you will and if you qualify. Once you got them wanting whatever it is you're selling, bam, close the deal. That's it in a nutshell and with that technique you can sell just about anything. Of course some people are more successful at it than others, some people just seem to have more credibility. Funny how that is though, those are the ones you really gotta watch. They will sell you anything.
I was thinking about this and how it applies in our own lives. The most important part of this sales pitch, I believe, is conviction. You must be convinced. For whatever action to succeed you most be certain the course is the right one. Well, at the very least you must be certain you want to try. Conviction leads to commitment. And it is this commitment to action that gets things done. When we find ourselves just sitting on the fence it is because of a lack of conviction. This conviction creates the desire.
You do have to guard against convincing yourself of what you want, and not what you need. That applies to the financial things in life but not necessarily the intangible ones. To support or begin a cause of some kind does require conviction, but it does not necessarily mean it is something you need. The thing is it is something you have to want, to the point of need. Sometimes a very difficult distinction to make.
I do think that if you have to sell yourself on an idea you probably shouldn't do it. I have found that giving myself a good talking too often clears my head. A good talking to implies perhaps bad choices or decisions. Remember when your Mom would give you a good talking to ? Just because you become an adult doesn't mean you shouldn't get one every now and again, even if you have to do it yourself. I do and often find this conversation has done its' job. It has left me curious, why or what was I thinking about. Not everything I want to do or think about is a good idea. This is the part where I'll find I really don't want or need whatever it was. I have psyched myself out ! And most times that is a good thing.
Successful people are convinced they will succeed. They do not give up or make excuses. They just keep moving forward. I do think the big difference is they have given themselves a good sound talking to ! And they listened. There is another big secret, listening. Can you hear yourself ? I can and sometimes I just don't like what I hear. What a wise guy ! But, I should listen more closely at times and heed the advice I so freely give. Most of us are like that.

Downtown

There is talk here in Greensboro and in small towns across America of revitalizing the downtown area. The businesses once owned and operated by Mom and Pop are gone. The little shops unable to compete with the corporate giants. The downtown area is beginning to show its age and lack of commerce. The old timers fondly recalling the days gone by. The days when downtown was vibrant and alive. Can it be so again ? I believe it could, but it would take a commitment by all. That commitment would have to be a commitment to community. Isn't that the heart of any downtown ? The community. When we speak of the old days and ways we always say how we all knew each other. We knew whose children were whose. We knew parents, grandparents ,aunts, uncles and all sorts of relatives. We were a community. We knew the shop owners. We knew of their personal lives and the triumphs and tribulations they had. The shop owners knew ours as well. But somewhere along the line we began to withdraw from that. We went for the bargains and the impersonal credit plans. It became, just business. A community is a lot more than business, a community is personal !
We can all make excuses for what has happened. After all it isn't our fault. The big corporations are to blame. Who can compete against them ? The question really is, who will support them ? And the answer to that one is not a pleasant thought. It is us. It wasn't the neighbor or the man down the street. It didn't just happen. We made that happen. Well we can make it change too. If we were to show support and commitment to the little guy we can have that again. It is all a matter of choice. The really big question is , how many choices do you need ? That is the big problem with small business isn't it ? A limited inventory. The world has become smaller. That can not be denied. Goods and services are available in every corner of the country. All matter of goods in an almost infinite variety. We have become drunk with inventory. The world has become so small our little down town areas have all but vanished,swallowed up in a glut of inventory. Rampant consumerism.
All that being said I wonder how to revitalize a community. Can that be accomplished in today's world ? Most of us barely know our neighbors anymore, let alone who may live on the next block. We see the bad in our neighbors quickly enough, but overlook the good. We barely speak to one another. Was a time when the Church served that function well. The social aspects of that are undeniable. The Churches are losing there appeal. A call for people to come to Church falls on deaf ears. Some are even proud of their disbelief. Some get angry when invited. The fabric of society has changed. It is a different world. Different from the world we remember. Different from the world we wished for for our children. We led the charge away from small town America. We built the Walmart's, The Toys R Us, and the strip malls. We supported all the fast food franchises. We took the bread right out of the mouths of our neighbors and now we complain. But we can change that. How to begin ? How to bring a community back together ? That is a very tough question. The answer it seems is a sad one, the answer lies in what is in it for me ? In today's world we want something tangible,that's why the consumerism. We do not want to wait for results either,we want it now. And so it is a tricky thing to get people to want the intangible. You figure that out and we can bring back the old days. Bring back that sense of community. I guess man has just become to smart for that though. We want results and we want proof. It is still nice to think about.

Veterans Day

Today is Veterans day. On the eleventh day of the eleventh month at the eleventh hour the armistice was signed. The war to end all wars was over. Except it didn't last all that long. Germany wasn't happy and wanted redemption. And here we are today. History and I love it. But today is a day that has been set aside to honor our veterans, all veterans past and present. All too often the word veteran is used and we think, no longer on active duty or deceased. Truth of the matter is, serve ninety consecutive days of honorable service and you are a vet. Well, the service doesn't even have to be honorable to earn the Vet title, just to qualify for the benefits.
Since the time I joined the Navy back in 1971 I have seen it go up and down in popular opinion. The mid seventies were a very bad time for veterans. Mostly for Vietnam veterans but all vets caught some flak. Right now us Vets are riding a tide of popularity. The yellow ribbons are out in full force. It is cool to thank a Vet and all that. A sense of pride has been restored to the profession.
I can only speak from my own experience. I didn't serve the country out of an overriding sense of patriotism.It was a job that needed doing. It was also a job I could believe in. The benefits were good and the job itself honorable. What more could you want ? More money would have been great but isn't that true of any job ?
On Veterans day I remember and honor all those that have served before me and with me. I honor those that are serving now. I thank them all. We often say that our Veterans are the guardians of freedom. We are/were the warriors for that cause. Yes you could say we guard the freedom ! I am proud to count myself among those that have done so. But those freedoms we hold so dear are the responsibility of each and every citizen. Collectively we must all work together to preserve them. As a veteran I can say I have done my part both by my service, and by my continued support of the process. The civilian part of the process is support and exercising your right to vote. I look upon those as duties as much as any duty I performed. It takes effort and a degree of commitment. I appreciate the handshakes and the Thank You's. That is not what I served for however. I served so that we may live free and that freedom comes with obligations. I will continue to strive to fill my part of this bargain. Please do your part as well. That is the Thanks I want !  

What If

For about two years I worked at Cunning Interiors on Main Street in East Hampton. I was an apprentice upholsterer using my G.I. benefits. I received a set amount of money every month I completed a set number of hours. There was a book that required the bosses signature for verification of hours worked and skills learned. It was an excellent deal. In the end I was to receive a certificate of completion and certification as a drapery and upholstery measure man, the official government title for the job. As it turned out I never did receive that certificate as I returned to active duty just about a month short of the completion date. No matter, I still have the skill.
This was back in the mid 1970's. Different attitudes prevailed. Doing this type of work as a younger man lead some to have suspicions about your orientation. A word that meant something totally different back then. It just meant your position in space. Suffice to say it wasn't considered the most manly of job choices. I did enjoy the work and have often wished I had stayed with it. It was satisfying.
The majority of people having their furniture recovered and custom draperies made were quite wealthy. I went to and often met with these people. Some were celebrities and some just rich. In my observation most paid little attention to me, or my co-workers beyond telling us what they wanted. After that, you are dismissed. Not that that bothered me a whole lot, but I just found them to be a bit unfriendly or should I say not very cordial. Some were rude.
It was a good time in my life and I think often about it. I think about the what ifs. I had a chance to purchase the entire business. What if. I could have stayed and worked for another company. What if. I could have purchased two houses, one from my parents and one from my sister. What if. But in the end when I look back I see the mistakes I made as well. Perhaps that was the purpose of that time. To get past the foolishness. I did some very foolish things. I had completed four years of active duty in the Navy, but was far from mature. It was what I thought of as " mature " choices that precipitated my return the to the Navy. I won't go as far as to say it was a mistake, I'm proud of my service and the benefits I have earned are certainly beneficial, but it did come as a result of poor choices. Well, that is part of life isn't it ? The learning curve.
The past is the past. It is fun and sometimes melancholy to look back. We cannot change what was. That is the real beauty of life. Tomorrow. New days, new choices to be made the game isn't over. Now the question remains, What If ?

One Smart Animal

I have not listened to Billy Grahams final sermon. His family believes that it is going to be so anyway, and perhaps it will. I did listen to snippets of it and am anxious to hear more. I admit to not paying a lot of attention to the Reverend over the years. He has always been a figure to me, a sort of Reverend to the country. At least that is the way I always thought of him. His message and his influence has been immeasurable.The small amount I did hear, he was speaking of the movement in America away from God. I would have to agree with him on that account. I can see this happening.
From this point on the words I write are my own thoughts and not the Reverend Graham. I have heard little more than what I said so please don't attribute anything I say to him, or accuse me of taking his thoughts either. I am just grasping onto his thought of the movement away from God.
We certainly hear a lot about the separation of church and state. I will not try to define it as constitutional scholars do not seem to be able to do that. The interpretation of what the foundings fathers said and /or meant is highly subjective. Their own beliefs are just as subjective. Do we really know their thoughts ? Doubt it, and think it is a bit presumptuous to think we do. Be that as it may, I won't address that issue.
Now whether you like it or not you cannot deny there is a movement away from the teachings of the Bible. We speak of personal liberties and freedoms to justify these actions. The denial of the existence of a God altogether is common. Atheists complain of being offended by those who pray. Laws are being written and the Supreme court is currently ruling on the legality of praying before town meetings.
I wonder why the mention of God, and belief in a God is becoming so unpopular. Why should you be offended by that ? Whatever you choose to believe is your business. It is only when I attempt to impose my beliefs upon you that it should become a problem. Some complain it makes them feel uncomfortable when others publicly pray. Well perhaps it makes me uncomfortable when you do not.
We can not deny the facts. The United States of America is in a state of deterioration. Crime, poverty, and civil unrest is growing. The more we insist upon the idea of no God in government the worse it becomes. A coincidence ? I don't think so. I say that because God to me is synonymous with morality. The removal of moral behavior leads to decay. It really is as simple as that. A simple truth that needs no explanation. The concept of heaven or hell notwithstanding it is only through the exercise of good moral behavior that a society can exist. I have often said it and will continue to say so, you cannot legislate morality ! Write away you lawyers, it can not be done. Morality springs from the heart of man. When a society allows the abandonment of morale behavior under the guise of freedom, that society is doomed to failure. How can it be otherwise ?
One may choose to label these behaviors. Call them God, Jesus, Buddha, or whatever name suits you, the behaviors are unchanged. It is the teaching of the behavior that is of primary importance. You can not just write a law or rule about it. Didn't someone say laws are meant to be broken ? And there is truth in that when there is no moral consequences. Do not people commit crimes because of a lack of morality on their part or because of a false justification for the action ? The whole Robin Hood dilemma ?
So just how do we decide upon what behaviors are moral ones and which are not ? Now that is the real discussion we should be having. The true issue at hand. Deciding upon that is the discussion of the existence of a God/Creator/Higher Power than ourselves. Should we decide that there is not, what follows ? Anarchy that's what, every man for himself. If there are no lasting consequences for our actions why not just do whatever you feel ? Whatever action suits your mood or circumstance at the moment. To what purpose would you dedicate your life ? Making money or having a good time ? If that were the case than man is nothing more than a really smart animal ! I can not be content with that explanation. Can you ?

Authors

It has been suggested to me that I write a book. Kind and flattering words and I appreciate the sentiment. I do think we all have a story to tell. I do enjoy writing and remembering. As anyone reading these blog postings know I will write about just about anything. I can be opinionated. Hopefully I offer some food for thought.
All this attention  and encouragement sent me to a website about publishing a book. I am a little embarrassed to admit that, but I did. I began reading about the process involved. First thing is they tell me I need an editor. Ok, what is the job of the editor ? I read a little further to discover that the editor will read my manuscript and suggest changes, corrections or even provide ideas. I immediately bristled at reading that. I do not want someone suggesting changes to my story. Tell me if I am spelling the word wrong or using it incorrectly but not changing the plot. The cost of this is considerable as well. I did see one that advertises editorial services for one penny a word. I can only assume those editors will encourage lengthy manuscripts !
I continued to read about the process and it is a long one. As with most things it is not as straightforward as one might think. There is the option to self publish as well. That just doesn't seem right to me somehow. If I just pay someone to publish my book I don't think that counts. I mean if you went by that standard everyone could be a published author. No I guess I thought you just submitted your book and they either agreed to publish it or not. I figured the company would want to maybe dress it up a little and design a cover for you but this editor stuff I'm not sure of. It just seems like I should write it all on my own without help of any kind. My words, my phrasing and my ideas.
I guess all authors have editors. At least that is what I am reading. Just part of the process I suppose. Companies publish books to make a profit after all. I hadn't really considered that part of it. I am only concerned with the creative aspect. I want to create it not have someone else tell me how to do it. I'll call it artistic integrity. There are starving artists, we hear about them all the time, so I'll be a starving author. Such is the fate of the true artist. Maybe my words will be published after my passing. That would be alright too.

The ultimate Luxury

There was an article on the evening news about Ray Lewis ( retired NFL player ) and others that have filed a lawsuit against BB&T Banking. Apparently a financial consultant under their employ was playing fast and loose with the money. ( pun intended ) Ray Lewis alleges a loss of over 3.7 million dollars. This person forged signatures on documents to authorize the expenditure of funds for investment. I did not catch all the details on the hows and whys. I admit I got distracted by my own thoughts. Just how do you lose 3.7 million dollars without noticing ? I mean, seriously, you have so much money that you pay someone else to watch it for you ? I can understand perhaps hiring a professional to do the investing part, but wouldn't I receive a statement from the bank concerning these transactions ? I really have no idea. Maybe when you have millions and millions you just don't pay attention to it. I do not have that luxury.
I guess that must be the ultimate luxury of all. To have so much money that you need not be concerned with everyday finances. Isn't that the dream of every man ? For some though the acquisition of wealth is a lifetime pursuit. No matter the amount they accumulate the desire is for more. That is something I do not understand. I sure would like to have a vast fortune, but once acquired, I would just stop to enjoy it. No more working for me. I surely would not allow anyone else to access that money. In this case it was done illegally, without the knowledge of these men, but they did allow access. They trusted the Bank and this man to manage their investments. My question is, why invest ? That is the part I don't understand. If I already have millions is that not enough ? I think it would be. In all honesty though I will never know for sure unless I am somehow in that position. Somebody give me a million or so and I'll let you know how it turns out.
I'm sure I'll hear more about this case as times goes on. Ray Lewis is a local hero with the Baltimore Ravens. I'll catch more of the details. In the meantime I am publicly stating that no one but my wife and I can withdraw more than a million at a time for any purpose ! That way I can keep an eye of things. I'm thinking that maybe these guys should have hired me, I'd watch their balance for them and tell them how to spend it. I'd do it pretty cheap too ! I mean really, you have so much money you can't even be bothered counting it once a month !
Yes the ultimate luxury would be to have that much money. It is only in the amount of that money that this luxury exists. The amount is dependent upon your desires and not your needs. What do you want, compared to what do you need. The ultimate luxury exists in contentment. Money is only a tool in obtaining that goal. And yes we are allowed to become contented. It is a luxury we earn. Isn't that the premise of retirement ?

Exploited

The last few days they have been advertising the interview between Dr. Phil and the girl that was abducted and abused  by that fellow Castro. Promos for the interview abounded, even appearing on the evening news shows several times. Teasing pieces of the interview interjected here and there. I found it disgusting.
I am convinced that this interview was conducted for the sole purpose of ratings. Sensationalist journalism at it's ugliest. Of what possible benefit could this interview be ? As a warning ? To scare us all straight ? I don't think so.
That the victims of this obviously demented and deranged person should get help is without question. The telling of the tale can be a part of the healing. The airing of the interview serves only one purpose; to satisfy the morbid curiosity of the general public. She is writing a book as well. Dr. Phils' son is a book publisher, coincidence ? Perhaps, but I am cynical in this regard. We shall see when the book comes out. Can a made for tv movie be far behind ?
This isn't the first time these horrid circumstances and incidences are exploited for financial gains. It is an age old story. I think what I do find troubling is Dr. Phil would be willing to be a part of it. Is there no moral code to being a therapist ? He professes to be so intelligent and his son son publishes his books. Why even the great one, Oprah, endorses him. And in my opinion this interview is something I would expect from Jerry Springer ! The man has credentials that is without question. I am left wondering why one would sacrifice those accomplishments for this. Surely it isn't the money ! I think he already had a good amount of that. I am left astonished. Has his ego expanded to the point he can no longer see his own shadow ? In the promo he is asking questions like, did you have any idea you would be held captive for ten years ? Ah, yeah Dr. Phil  sure I did, that is why I went with him. What kind of silly question is that ? I did not watch the interview. My reasoning was of what possible benefit could it be ?
I am left with nothing but sadness. Sadness for the victims of this maniac. Sadness that a man of letters, a once respected Doctor, would sully his name and reputation on this cheap piece of journalism. Is this to become his legacy ? The man that talked to the victim of Areil Castro ? I am sad too that so many would watch this and by watching give approval. What other monster lurks out there waiting for an opportunity ? I suppose the least we can do it provide reassurance to whomever awaits, that we will air it all on national television. We will write books and make movies about you. You too can become immortal in evil ! Should you survive you can be interviewed by Dr. Phil ! Baring that , we'll settle for your victims ! And the exploitation continues.

God,Government and the Golden Rule

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. The golden rule, we all know it and all agree it should be a guiding principle in our lives. No exceptions to the rule ! One could go as far as saying that this one rule sums up what God says. And not just the Christian God, but any such deity one chooses. They are all basically the same philosophy. Should not government do the same ? Government should apply equally to all members of the society. The government should do unto itself what it imposes upon the people. It would appear to me that our Congress and Senate has either forgotten the golden rule or is now choosing to ignore it. When the founding fathers spoke of the separation of church and state there intentions were not to abandon God altogether. I think we can all agree that the golden rule ( Gods law ) should apply.
The most immediate example of this I see is this ' affordable care act ". A puzzling bit of legislation. It is what is best for the American people yet, Congress, and the Senate, and the Executive branch, and their aids are exempt from it. An exemption from the Golden rule ? Or is the rule being rewritten to say, impose upon the population what you yourself do not want ?
The golden rule is God. The removal of God from government allows actions like this to take place. The American people are being duped into thinking that this comes under the guise of freedom. But it is our freedom that is being taken away. The freedom of choice. Yesterday I posted what appeared to be a simple thought. " The trees lose their color one leaf at a time. " The leaves I was thinking about are our freedoms. The color of the nation is changing. I, of course, am not speaking of color in the literal sense. The laws that protect and nourish our freedoms are being modified, reinterpreted and in some cases abolished altogether. The loss of these laws ( leaves ) will strip the country bare unless action is taken. We must keep fertile the soil of freedom. The best means available to us is the vote. We the people have the power of the vote if we but exercise it. And in the exercising of this vote we must all apply the golden rule. Any of those that by their words or deeds are contrary to that rule, must be eliminated. Vote them out of office.
There are many other leaves changing color in our nation. It is not just this imposition of an ill gotten universal health care plan. Code for a Socialist agenda. In the founding of our Republic is was made clear. Government shall not impose any specific religion upon the people. They did not say, no religion ! A government of the people, by the people shall not perish. What is the best government for the people ? The Golden Rule seems like a logical choice.

Motivation

The question of why is really a question of motivations. What was the impetus for a person, or a nation of people to act. Great moments in history have occurred when large groups of individuals share a common motivation. One person acting alone has also made large impacts in history. Understanding their motivation for those acts is the study of history. All too often the memorization of the dates, times and events are confused with knowing history. It is not, that is just remembering facts. It is the understanding of the underlining factors that lead up to the action that is of importance. Only by understanding those motivations can we prevent further mistakes or inspire new actions. Then we can learn from history.
A study of history is a study of the big picture. Yes there are many,many subsets to this study of history. One can spend a lifetime studying in just one area, but in general, all history is relevant. It is in this big picture that the real knowledge lies. The real reasons are revealed. I would not suggest that I am a historian. I would not claim to have a broad knowledge of the actions of mankind. I do think I can see the cause and effect however. From my humble position in the world I can observe. I have drawn some conclusions.
Money is the great motivator. Some would say power, but money is power, so the point is mute. It has always been the escape from perceived oppression and the desire for their own betterment that has inspired the great movements in history. Religious fervor has been used many times as a motivation. The goal was not religion itself, but it was the fuel. Consider the crusades. What was their stated purpose ? To recover the Holy lands. But what was the real reason ? To secure the trade routes so money could be made. The American revolution. No taxation without representation ! Why that is just tyranny !
Looking back over the centuries the plot remains pretty much the same. I have concerns for what is happening right now. Money " power " is rearing it's ugly head once again. The disruption in this country that I love has got me nervous. A major shift in the money base is happening. We should all be concerned and guarding against being falsely influenced to action. We need to examine our own motivations. Are the choices we are making, or at least tacitly endorsing, good for the future or just a patch for today. Are we willing to sacrifice and make the tough decisions ? The time is fast approaching when we must decide. History is an accurate indicator, infallible in it's truths. Think about that before the next election. We must look at the big picture, the overall scheme. Putting all other issues aside for a few minutes we should focus upon the main goal. The main goal, the number one priority, must be the preservation of the republic. If we lose that, all is lost and we succumb to history. Heady stuff to consider I know, but it must be considered. If we have learned nothing else from history we have learned Money is the great motivator, for good or evil.

Lucretia Lester

    Lucretia Lester of Southold, Long Island, who practiced midwifery from 1745 until 1779 was "respected as nurse and doctoress to the pains and infirmities incident to her fellow mortals, especially her own sex. She was . . . conspicuous as an Angel of Mercy; a woman whose price was above rubies. It is said that she attended the birth of 1300 children, and of that number, lost but two . . . ." (From: http://www.thehistorynet.com/WomensHistory/articles/19965_cover.htm)

In my genealogy research I ran across this small article. The Lester name was of interest as I have Lester's in the tree. This lady does not appear to be on any of my branches. Still I thought it noteworthy. She must have been a legend in her own time. The number of children that she delivered is staggering and should you be able to count their descendants I can barely fathom the number it would be. How many lives did she touch ? And it says she was a " doctoress " a new term to me. I surmised it meant a female doctor and that is correct. Google says it was listed in Websters dictionary in 1914. Funny, how they were, what we would consider sexist, in their terms. Perhaps, but an apt description nonetheless. 
This lady was doctoring before the revolutionary war and continued until well after. Did she treat the wounds received in that war ? There is certainly a possibility that she did. Given the conventions of the day, she must have felt some discrimination. Proud men demanding a male doctor. Funny too, how to this day, we generally think of doctors as men. Stereotypical ? It would seem so. Statistics show that by 2017 there will be more female doctors than male in the United States. The debate rages on, whether women and men doctor differently. The whole sexist attitude thing I suppose.
I love finding these little notes in history. These small pieces to give us a glimpse of real life. The history books tell us the big story and general attitudes. To read this about a lady, who was after all not in possession of what they would have called " bonafides " to receive such acknowledgement and accolades speaks to her skill. How many times was the call sent out for " Mrs Lester " if that is what she was called. I don't know if there was another doctor in the area where she served her people. Perhaps she was all they had. From that brief description the inhabitants of Southold, my own ancestors included, were fortunate to have her. It may be she delivered some of my own ancestors and my presence could be attributed to her. 
I especially like the line, " a women whose price was above rubies ". What a show of the value they placed upon her. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the same could be said for us all.

Soccer

Time for the big soccer tournament. A two day event here in Caroline County. The weather is predicted to be quite nice for this time of the year.The fields have been striped and the concession stands erected. Let the games begin.
The tournament does have a festival atmosphere. The children and adults all excited and anticipating the action. Some families having children playing in different age groups at the same time. Mom watching one and Dad watching the other. Occasionally playing against each other. All the drama and pathos one could want from a sporting event. My grandson's team must play three games today. They need to win two to advance to tomorrows rounds. Grandpa gets tired just watching them play. How those kids manage to play three times in one day is a testament to youth. An inspiration ; almost. Don't think I'll take up the sport myself.
My grandson has gotten to be quite interested in this game of soccer. Hr follows a team from some foreign country. I'm not well versed in all of this but I'm assuming it is the major league of soccer. He likes playing goal keeper. His ambition is to become a referee. In the Caroline County League teenagers can attend classes and become certified to do that. He'll be signing up as soon as possible. Soccer has replaced baseball for him. I admit I tried to get him to play baseball and be a New York Yankee fan. He does like the Yankees but just wants to play soccer. Time does change things. Soccer is a big thing now. I don't remember anyone paying attention to it when I was a kid.
My dream of coaching the next Babe Ruth is fading fast. Guess he isn't into that. But there is always Pele ? Didn't he play soccer and wasn't he a superstar ? I'll have to study up on this stuff. I bet they have one of those books for dummies about this subject. Need to read that for sure. For now though I'll just watch from the sidelines. Although not the official name for the team ( long story there ) I'll still be routing for the Squirrels ! GO SQUIRRELS !

The last time

I went last evening for what may be the final time Trick or Treating. The grandkids are just too old for next year. Mark, went in his costume I think more because it would be his last year, than the actual desire to go.
Morgan was still a bit excited to be going, but not with the old enthusiasm. The weather was beautiful and it was a pleasant evening. The houses that were giving out candy seemed to be farther and farther apart. Porches were lighted and in the big picture looked like the teeth in a jack o lantern. Large gaps in between them. There were a good number of small children but they were far outnumbered by the older ones. It just seemed like there were groups of adults escorting one or two children. Excellent security for the children but a bit strange.
All things change over time. The cost of the candy has risen sharply over the years. I believe that is a part of it, it just too expensive if you live in town. There is also the question of security. You have to be careful these days. Trips and falls can lead to lawsuits. There is also a change in the attitude. I don't understand it, but they had to make rules regarding age limits along the way and set specific times as well. Regulations are required for what should be a childhood memory. That started when we had to start x-raying the candy I suppose.
I see Halloween becoming more of an excuse for adults to party than for children. An awful lot of them were partying last night while walking with the kids. A good number don costumes and wear them to work. A few homes were lit up and the party in full swing, but not giving out candy.
We all tend to remember things the way they were when we were young. We also only remember the good stuff. I remember making our own costumes. Hobo's and Pirates abounded. Seemed like every house was lit and the candy was flowing. We also got candy apples, popcorn balls and homemade cookies. All those things are far too suspect for today. Any stranger handing out such things may just as well throw them in the trash.
I remember doing the Trick or Treat for Unicef thing too. It still exists but I sure haven't sen any children collecting for it. What happened to carrying that little orange box ? Well the kids today probably got an App for that and credit cards are accepted. Yes I think Halloween is morphing into something different altogether. One lady in the news was passing out letters to what she described as mildly obese children instead of giving them candy. There are many complaining about this distribution of candy. It is bad for the children. Yes it is, if parents allow them to eat every piece of it in one night.
I'm sure my grandchildren will tell tales to their children about trick or treating. Telling them how it, used to be. That is the way of the world. Moving forward, making progress. Then once we have achieved that progress we will bemoan the loss of whatever it was that we changed. We begin to wish for the old days.
Well rubbing that burned cork on our faces to make hobo's was probably dangerous anyway. Might find out that is what was causing pimples or something ! And we certainly lived on the edge eating homemade bakery products we got from strangers. Yes, we are lucky indeed to have survived.

Mark and Morgan