I spend a good bit of time thinking about the past. Reminiscing as it where. A mixture of emotions accompany these flights into the ," what was. " Happiness,regret,amusement and wonder. The choices made in review. I believe we all do this. At what point in my life I went from looking ahead, to looking back, is not clear. It happens to us all though. At least I think it does. There are notable exceptions, that is always true. To be old and have these dreams or aspirations, if you prefer, may get you a label. Eccentric. And a good synonym for Eccentric is : Kookiness ! I know because I looked it up and that is what the online dictionary says. And so, in accordance with standard convention, I had just better stay focused on the past.
I do wonder why this should be so. Why shouldn't I look to the future ? I have amassed a number of years of experience. I have never been better prepared to embark upon new adventures, unless we are talking about the physical. You do have to be aware of certain limitations, but that is always true no matter your age.I'm thinking I am being influenced by my own expectations. What is the motivation ? Recognition, wealth ?
These are usually the prime motivators in anyone's life. Wealth has never been a prime consideration in my decisions. Recognition ? I enjoy that as much as the next person, but am not driven by it. And therein lies my dilemma. I can't seem to find that motivator. Either that, or I just refuse to acknowledge it. There are times when we just won't admit to the truths we already know. A failing of the human mind. Honesty can be painful, even with yourself. Are their truly pure motivations ? The desire to do whatever for the benefit of others, without personal consideration ? Mother Teresa seemed to posses that quality. After all, she is a saint. I certainly don't fit that category.
Whatever the reason I think I will make an effort to spend less time remembering and more time doing. I do have a habit of over thinking things. Discretion is the better part of valor, but you do have to enter the fight. I do know I don't want to go quietly. I really don't want to be labeled as the " crazy old man " that lives down the street either. I'll have to risk it though, with risk comes reward. I'm just not sure what prize I'm looking for.
I do wonder why this should be so. Why shouldn't I look to the future ? I have amassed a number of years of experience. I have never been better prepared to embark upon new adventures, unless we are talking about the physical. You do have to be aware of certain limitations, but that is always true no matter your age.I'm thinking I am being influenced by my own expectations. What is the motivation ? Recognition, wealth ?
These are usually the prime motivators in anyone's life. Wealth has never been a prime consideration in my decisions. Recognition ? I enjoy that as much as the next person, but am not driven by it. And therein lies my dilemma. I can't seem to find that motivator. Either that, or I just refuse to acknowledge it. There are times when we just won't admit to the truths we already know. A failing of the human mind. Honesty can be painful, even with yourself. Are their truly pure motivations ? The desire to do whatever for the benefit of others, without personal consideration ? Mother Teresa seemed to posses that quality. After all, she is a saint. I certainly don't fit that category.
Whatever the reason I think I will make an effort to spend less time remembering and more time doing. I do have a habit of over thinking things. Discretion is the better part of valor, but you do have to enter the fight. I do know I don't want to go quietly. I really don't want to be labeled as the " crazy old man " that lives down the street either. I'll have to risk it though, with risk comes reward. I'm just not sure what prize I'm looking for.
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