I had a nice conversation with my sister yesterday. I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but we began having adult conversations. No, not about that ! I mean conversations about real grown up issues. The health and well being of our mother. A real concern for the health of our oldest brother and general topics like that. You know, the kind old people have. I guess time really has moved on. Strange how when talking to your siblings you don't see them as grandparents. They don't see you in that light either. It is just one day you start talking to each other and sounding like your parents. You start talking about life insurance, medical insurance and where you want to be buried. Good grief.
Mom is getting on in years. Lately she has expressed some desire to be closer to her family. Like many native New Yorkers she moved to Florida a number of years ago. She lives on the west coast of Florida and my sister lives on the east coast. A three and one half hour drive separates them. It is a common dilemma. She ,of course, doesn't want to sell her home and move. None of us children have homes big enough for her and her husband to come live. And none of us are going there either. The whole deal makes you think about the old days when families all lived together in one house. Like the Waltons. Well, at least they did on the Hallmark channel. I gave that some thought. I have heard it said, " the kids don't want to take in the parents anymore." I think the reality was, the kids never moved out ! Big difference.
Once we started leaving the farms for the cities, the need for separate housing increased. We moved out to pursue our own interests. It became a mantra, grow up and move out of Mom and Dads house. Be independent. Stand on your own two feet. Now its a joke if you still live home with your parents. And if you do, your worth is questioned. Must be something wrong with you.
It is the American dream. To own your own home. To be your own person. Unfortunately, Mom and Dad are getting lost in the shuffle. A by product of our desire to achieve that American dream. Really, it is all about economics. The size of the home required, the availability of suitable employment in the immediate area, someone to stay at home and care for them if necessary. All those things are factors in the equation. All that and then the interpersonal relationship. That can be a big issue all by itself ! It may be true that birds of a feather flock together, but opposites attract. And for most of us, whether you want to admit it or not, you become a great deal like your parents. Like poles repel one other !
I have determined to not wind up in that situation. The kids have moved out and have homes of their own. One has escaped me to upstate New York, but another is still here in Greensboro. I'm not leaving here. I'll stick to them like a shadow. I'll always be just around the corner.
It has been said as we age we become children again. There is truth in that statement. As for me, I'll start sticking closer to home, the way I did as a child. Gives you that secure feeling. We have many roles to play during our lifetime. I can see the beginning of another. The wise old Grandfather dispensing advice and encouragement. Beloved by family and friends. Sounds like a wonderful role. I had best start rehearsing, it takes a long time to develop character. A lifetime, in fact. I've got a pretty good start on it. The character just needs a little tweeking.
Mom is getting on in years. Lately she has expressed some desire to be closer to her family. Like many native New Yorkers she moved to Florida a number of years ago. She lives on the west coast of Florida and my sister lives on the east coast. A three and one half hour drive separates them. It is a common dilemma. She ,of course, doesn't want to sell her home and move. None of us children have homes big enough for her and her husband to come live. And none of us are going there either. The whole deal makes you think about the old days when families all lived together in one house. Like the Waltons. Well, at least they did on the Hallmark channel. I gave that some thought. I have heard it said, " the kids don't want to take in the parents anymore." I think the reality was, the kids never moved out ! Big difference.
Once we started leaving the farms for the cities, the need for separate housing increased. We moved out to pursue our own interests. It became a mantra, grow up and move out of Mom and Dads house. Be independent. Stand on your own two feet. Now its a joke if you still live home with your parents. And if you do, your worth is questioned. Must be something wrong with you.
It is the American dream. To own your own home. To be your own person. Unfortunately, Mom and Dad are getting lost in the shuffle. A by product of our desire to achieve that American dream. Really, it is all about economics. The size of the home required, the availability of suitable employment in the immediate area, someone to stay at home and care for them if necessary. All those things are factors in the equation. All that and then the interpersonal relationship. That can be a big issue all by itself ! It may be true that birds of a feather flock together, but opposites attract. And for most of us, whether you want to admit it or not, you become a great deal like your parents. Like poles repel one other !
I have determined to not wind up in that situation. The kids have moved out and have homes of their own. One has escaped me to upstate New York, but another is still here in Greensboro. I'm not leaving here. I'll stick to them like a shadow. I'll always be just around the corner.
It has been said as we age we become children again. There is truth in that statement. As for me, I'll start sticking closer to home, the way I did as a child. Gives you that secure feeling. We have many roles to play during our lifetime. I can see the beginning of another. The wise old Grandfather dispensing advice and encouragement. Beloved by family and friends. Sounds like a wonderful role. I had best start rehearsing, it takes a long time to develop character. A lifetime, in fact. I've got a pretty good start on it. The character just needs a little tweeking.
The best thing about our trip to Buffalo last week was spending time with my siblings and sharing memories. For a few days we were all kids again and it was a nice break from our adult lives and adult problems!
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