Hangin' out the Laundry

I was chatting with a fellow blogger yesterday and this topic found its way into the conversation. We both wish to write down and preserve the family stories and histories. The "rest of the story" as Paul Harvey would have put it. We both agreed that you have to be careful just what you print. The phrase " airing out your laundry " came to mind.

Every family has stories to tell. People,being people,do not always behave as we would like or expect. Skeletons are in the closets. These stories/histories should be saved as well. The question remains, how long do you have to wait before you hang out the laundry ? As long as there are living participants would seem an obvious answer. But I think maybe it goes further than that. If that individual that the story concerns is still alive in someones memory,whether they knew them personally or not, then the laundry stays folded. The stories should bring the person to life, not destroy a memory.

I have been told tales of distant ancestors and the effect was satisfying. It made them seem more like a real person. Other stories did make me alter my conception of what they were like. And all that had to be weighed carefully against who was doing the telling. Getting a clean, unvarnished or untainted view can be difficult. Perceptions vary widely and we can not know the mind of the person when they acted.

I have given some thought in the past to compiling these family stories and histories. A secret journal of sorts. Into this journal I would write down those stories and histories as they were told to me. I would include my own story and history. The problem lies in that I would not want these stories and histories exposed for quite some time. Certainly not immediately after my demise. I wouldn't want to tarnish my legacy ! I've worked hard at being this good . LOL

What I'm saying is, I'm no different from everyone else. I prefer not to tell the rest of the story. My own Grandchildren would not be nearly removed enough,perhaps their Grandchildren ?

What about you ? How long do you think you would wait ? Or do you take some things to the grave with you ? Do others really need to know ? I ,for one ,can keep a secret. We all have them you know. But then what we think as terrible now, may be no big deal twenty years from now. Attitudes change and so do social customs.

As I work on the family tree certain questions come to mind. I wish I had answers for them. If only someone had thought to write it down. I would like to leave an honest explanation of my decisions for a future generation . Human nature changes little over time and I'm certain some descendant of mine would be interested. I just need to figure out a way to put those stories and histories in a time lock ! Then I would have to decide upon the time.

Well,it is something to consider. Putting oneself in a vulnerable position is never easy. The gain must be worth the risk.