Prespective

Growing up in the fifties and sixties a man cooking,other than a Chef,was kinda different. At least from my perspective it was. My Great Grandfather cooked but that was only because he lived alone and had no choice. About the only cooking I saw men doing was on the grill. We didn't have gas grills then so it was charcoal . Building a fire was mans work ! Meat was roasted in this open flame and it was a no nonsense job.
Occasionally, however my Dad would cook the evening meal. Well,just the main course. I can only remember him cooking a few dishes, fried eels,clam fritters,fried scallops and pancakes. He would also make the gravy at Thanksgiving.That as far as I know was his entire expertise in the kitchen. The evenings that he did cook were rather festive occasions with much ballyho about him cooking. A rare treat. My siblings and I thought there was something special and certainly amusing about seeing our Dad cook. He did not wear a apron I can assure you. If you remember the foods he was cooking it was a messy,greasy affair. My Mom would try her best to be patient but her annoyance was plainly evident ! I vaguely remember my father drying the dishes once but never washing them. I think he was trying to make up for some transgression at the time.
Years later when I was grown I was reflecting upon these times with my mom. My father had long since passed. I was telling her how I enjoyed those nights when he cooked. She just laughed and said,yes they were interesting. A lot of extra work for her with the cleanup involved. But then she got a sad look about her face and I asked what was wrong. She told me this, all those times your father cooked was because we were short on money. Your father worked on the bay and knew a lot of people that did also. When times were tight he would get those eels or clams by either catching them or a friend giving them to him. He always felt bad about that and that is why he cooked. He wanted it to be special to distract you kids.
Now,knowing this has made those memories even more special. I never suspected anything was wrong or felt deprived of anything. Funny how you can remember things one way and then with a little more knowledge gain a whole new perspective. Thanks Dad !