Was thinking about how the times have changed. When I was a kid the worst thing that could happen to you was being grounded. You're not going anywhere young man. Two weeks! Now go to your room and stay there until I say you can come out. Yes, it was social isolation. No phone, no television, nothing like that. Just you and your school books! And today there is an effort to socialize our children. Oh, they have television, cell phones and varied social media platforms but they use them mostly to bully and harass each other. They haven't learned any real social skills with real people. No need to send them to their room, they are isolated in a crowd.
In years past not everyone made the team. If you wanted to play soccer but you stunk, you played soccer with all the other kids that stunk, the best players were on the team. I remember the chart on the wall in elementary school. The one with the different colored stars. The gold star was the one you wanted, red and blue were there as well. Sometimes you didn't get a star at all! That's what happened when you failed to perform the task or pass the test. Alphabetical order was being fair. That was true even when your last name began with a Z I don't ever remember feeling empowered. No, what I remember is receiving approval. That is what motivated me and being excluded or punished reminded me of that. Didn't always get to go to recess on the playground. Nope, just sit there and do your work, I'll check it after recess. That was fair.
Yes, I grew up in the "you made your bed, now lie in it" era. And yeah, I had to make my bed every morning. Not sure why because Mom always did it again anyway, something about changing the sheets more than once a month, I guess. But the thing was if you got yourself into a fix, it was up to you to get out of it. Asking for advice was encouraged, welcomed even, even though I hated hearing the old I told you so line. Still, the final resolution was up to me, I had to figure it out. No excuses, no but everyone was doing it. The dog ate it never worked!
I recall one time I had made an "adobe" pueblo out of flour and water, paper mâché I guess it is called. Dad told me to put it in the basement close to the furnace and it would dry overnight. I went down there the next morning, and he was right, it had dried. The only problem was a mouse had also found it and thought it quite delicious and had eaten a portion of it! I couldn't take that to school. I had to tell the teacher; a mouse ate my homework. True story. I did make repairs and eventually brought that pueblo to school. I think I got a B because it was late. That's how things worked back then.
Yesterday I did see a group of younger kids, ten or twelve, somewhere in that age group, riding their bicycles together and one kid on a scooter. It made me smile because it isn't something you see often anymore. They weren't on cell phones, just laughing and talking with one another. Yup, just right there on the sidewalk, nowhere in particular, just kids being kids.
Here in Greensboro, you will occasionally see such a sight and that is one of the reasons I like it here so much. It does remind me of when I was a kid. You can still freely move about the town without too much fear. You can let your children go "free range" without undue stress. Yes, I saw children in the wild yesterday. They were not participating in any organized activity, monitored in any way by adults, just freely going wherever they wanted. Like Spanky and the gang. I wondered what curiosity they would get into. That's always what happened with me, although some called it mischief. I did learn a lot just being curious, going places and doing things on my own or with my buddies. And sometimes I would get a bit too curious and get grounded. Social isolation did give you a new look on things. Made you understand the responsibility of freedom. I'm thinking that is what is missing in a lot of these children today, especially the ones in these colleges and universities.
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