Pride

  Yesterday I posted a question to Facebook and received all the answers I was expecting, no surprises there. I asked about taking veterans discounts or free items when they are available. Many are advertised, especially considering this weekend is Memorial Day weekend. My reaction is I seldom ask for or take them, although I will at Lowes or Home Depot when the savings are significant. I wouldn't mention it on a few small items though. It's like asking for a senior discount, I don't do that either, Fortunately or unfortunately depending, I usually get it anyway. I can't imagine why that is. But whatever, the case may be, I always feel a little uncomfortable, a little guilty in asking for any of that. I was asked why? That's something I have been thinking about.

 I did answer one person jokingly saying it is probably my conservative values. Everything today is either liberal or conservative. They are terms thrown at one another like darts. I think traditional values is closer to the truth. I am seventy years old now and "old fashioned" in many respects. It isn't quite as noticeable as when you are a kid, but age differences can lead to quite a different view, even as adults. That's another point of contention as well, being an adult. Often, by adopting whatever the latest thing is, we convince ourselves that we are staying young. As a teenager, back in my day, it was called being cool. Don't be a square daddy-o and I'm hip. Twenty-three skidoo and all of that is the same thing. We feel like we have to be current to be relevant. 

 Personal security plays a major role in my opinion. How secure are you with just being you? I think that is why some of us desire the accolades, recognition and reassurance that comes with awards and such. I think that is why some fly their flags, or other symbols and signs. In modern terms that has been called virtue signaling. I don't think that is what all that is, although that is certainly a thing. What I'm thinking about are those folks that always include their "letters" after their signature. They do so every time. Or those that wear patches, jackets and caps emblazoned with the branch of service they were in at one time or another. I always feel uncomfortable doing so as a civilian. That was something I did, a long time ago. There are literally millions of others that have done the same. 

 I just feel like a lot of things are on a need-to-know basis. In my youth we called that minding your own business. There were a great many things I just didn't need to know about you. Today we all concerned about transparency. Well, that means seeing right through whatever it is you are looking at. I don't want to be transparent, I'd much rather you not know certain things. Yes, I've always tried to hide my faults and my mistakes. The objective being, to not let anyone know. Only those I trust that is, with those folks I will become vulnerable. And it is only those folks that hurt me. 

 But back to what I was thinking about. Pride is a difficult thing to manage. Pride cometh before the fall is a biblical warning. The proverb speaks of destruction and a haughty spirit leading to your downfall. Pride and arrogance are often bedfellows. "Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor." That's another proverb that speaks to being haughty. It's not a term we hear a lot these days. It means to be arrogant, disdainful, or acting superior to others. It does seem prideful to me to ask for or accept benefits or gifts for something I did voluntarily. I wasn't drafted, I volunteered. Is that something to be proud of? Now with those that were drafted I view that as answering the call. For me, that is an obligation as a citizen of this nation. That was eliminated in 1973, however. Today the only obligation is to register. How many that register would answer the call if that came? I hope we never have to find out. 

 Pride as a tool. That is what I'm thinking about. When I use that pride to gain an advantage, for personal gain, I am taking the first steps toward a haughty disposition. If you begin to exercise that "right" or "entitlement" on a regular basis it does become a part of you. It becomes the normal thing; the expected thing and a sense of entitlement develops. You can become haughty! You can't be humble by bragging about it. Humility is like integrity; you have to have it, even when no one is looking. "The biggest challenge after success, is shutting up about it" (Criss Jami) All tools are capable of creation or ruin. It is how the tool is used in the hands of the craftsman that determines that. Pride is a tool, no different than any other.