the first

  When I was growing up I had a gramp and a nana. Gramp was Great Grandfather Floyd and nana was Grandmother Cecilia. Those were the names used to address those folks. My Mother was Mom, occasionally ma when I was teasing her, and my father was always Dad. My sisters name was Mildred, but everyone called her Millie. Harold and Dan were my brothers and were called Harold and Dan. My dad always called me bubba. I was told that was because when I was born my sister couldn't say brother, she said bubba, and so it stuck with dad. Dad was the only one that called me bubba though, to everyone else in the family I was little ben. Dad's name was Austin, but he was known as ben. Everyone else were Aunts and Uncles if my parents knew them personally, if not, they were Mr. or Mrs. followed by their last name. And there were a few "characters" in town that even as a child I was allowed to call by their name, at least around my parents I was, but never to them directly. A man they called Porky comes to mind. I think his name was Dick, but I wouldn't swear to that. The reason for that was unknown to me at the time but in later years I came to realize that was a withholding of respect for those people. Yeah, what we talk about today as being inclusive and tolerant. Their "lifestyle" choices were not approved of and that is why that withholding of respect was allowed. Still, I knew to never say that to them directly! Call it discretion. 

 We assign names to people, objects and actions. We call that semantics. What do we actually mean when using a particular word or phrase? It is an ever changing, ever evolving thing, these semantics. Simple things that take on new and different meanings. In our Christmas songs we sing about being happy and gay. Gay means something different today than when that song was written. If you say you are gay, if you just mean you're happy, you do have to include an explanation of that. In addressing our elected officials their titles were normally used. Mayor this or Officer so and so. Today that isn't as prevalent. Consider the way the President of the United States may be addressed. Used to be, Mr. President, today you will hear Orange man or Sleepy Joe. More often than not just the last name will be used dropping the title altogether. Abortion is now, reproductive choice or healthcare. It is still the same action, just a different connotation by the changing of the name. 

 All of this is a psychological thing. Something I learned while training to be a Navy recruiter is, what you say and what people hear are often quite different things. We have all heard the stories of the recruiter lying to me. I personally never lied to anyone when recruiting them. What they heard however I can't say for certain. I think the same thing is happening with these student loans so many are complaining about. What they heard was, I'll get the money, what they didn't hear was, there is interest to be paid, interest that begins to accrue the minute you sign the papers. But they are still giddy with the feeling, I'm going to get what I want. I'm going to college, having a great time, and when I graduate, I'll get a job doing exactly what I want to do and make a lot of money. Not much different from some who join the service believing they will become an Admiral and rule the seas! When I first signed up I thought I was going to nuclear power school. I was then going to get out and get a job in the nuclear field and make big bucks. That isn't what happened. No one lied to me, I could have gone to nuclear power school, it was an option. For personal reasons I opted out of that program. I didn't sign that paper. 

 That is what I said, but it isn't what I mean. That's a useful tool to have in the toolbox, isn't it? Seems like it is the stock in trade these days. Your word isn't so much a bond these days, more like a post-it note. Might stay, might not. And being the first is always the best these days. No, not finishing first, or being the best, not that kind of first. You should be hired or elected because you will be the first! Your qualifications for the actual job or position are secondary to that. More important to be the first. Consider Rachel Levine. First trans/crossdresser to be the assistant secretary of health! He was a pediatrician. Now he thinks he is a woman, wears women clothing and advocates for encouraging children to be transgender. And he is a four star Admiral. More importantly however, he is the first. The message being, that's a good thing. It's always a good thing to be first. Well unless you are Madam Curie that is, then you die from being the first to handle radium. Then you are buried in a lead lined coffin with radioactive symbols on the outside. 

 Well, I guess I wandered off a bit in my thoughts. It's something I often do and not much I can do about it. I'll call it my style. Every writer has a style. Maybe I can name it, transformational intelligence or something fancy sounding like that. I can be the first! I still hear my father calling me bubba and look up. I still talk about gramp and nana. Those names identify specific individuals to me. Great Grandfather could mean a lot of people, there is only one gramp. He was the first. I got thrown off FaceBook for some words I used but I wasn't the first and that, that is a good thing.