What's wrong with this world? It's a question I hear asked often enough. Having given it some thought I have decided a big part of it is a lack of a healthy respect. I thought it is a healthy respect that has gotten me this far in life without significant trauma. I have to attribute a portion of that to simple blind luck but whatever trauma I experienced I did bring upon myself. Still, having a healthy respect for others and what they may or may do has served me well.
Respect is much talked about these days. I think the meaning of that has been altered over the years. It certainly doesn't mean what it did when I was a kid. Respect was something you gave in an act of preservation. That is to say, if you were wise. When you disrespected others, you were called a real wise guy! In that context, not a good thing at all. Today respect is a demand. What they really want however is obedience. That is where the wheels have come off the track. Respecting others isn't always agreeing with them or supporting their causes. Respect doesn't mean I have to adopt your ways. Respect is understanding your feelings and responding accordingly.
Now the phrase a healthy respect was commonly used. The reason is quite obvious. It was unhealthy to disrespect others. It was unhealthy not just in a physical way, although that was an option back in the day, but in a mental way as well. It spoke to your character. The brash, outspoken, and disrespectful folks were not admired as some sort of cultural heroes. No, quite the opposite in fact, brutish, boorish and ignorant were the adjectives most often applied.
It is respect that serves to form our morals. That is the purpose. You can't be immoral and treat others unjustly while respecting them. Doesn't work that way. That isn't to say you have to kowtow to others just show a healthy respect for their traditions, customs and thoughts. Respect shouldn't leave you defenseless. That is what many think it should be today. I can say whatever I like, and you can't do anything about that. If you counter their opinion the typical response will be, you're disrespecting me. That's the part I'm talking about. I shouldn't defend myself because to do so is showing disrespect. When I was a child, it was called talking back. You didn't do that, it was unhealthy. Was it fair? No, I'm not going to say it was, but it was a lesson learned. You learned how to direct your questions in a civil manner. Occasionally I could get Mom or Dad to relent, to see my point of view. It never worked by being disrespectful, yelling, screaming or throwing a fit. That would get you an unhealthy outcome. That's the healthy respect I'm thinking about.
Respect and rights are not always the same thing. Respect is given, rights are earned. Each is dependent upon the other, however. You really can't have one without the other, along with a degree of risk. Yes, with risk comes reward, respect is one of those rewards. We all admire those who succeed. The risk is extending that healthy respect to others. It is sometimes misunderstood as a surrender. Then others get offended when they discover otherwise. At that point they usually want to apply their "rights" to force compliance on your part. It may be a Constitutional right, very popular in America, or simply human rights. Both are open to interpretation. Rights granted by man are really the only rights enforceable by man. Human rights are always subjective to authority. Best to have a healthy respect for that. And that is something I believe is not being taught, not being understood by far too many today. It really isn't all about you!
Perhaps this is a more succinct way of saying what I'm thinking about. "The Founding Fathers and their heirs wanted to establish and maintain a prosperous republic, yet they welcomed limitations on prosperity as much as they had welcomed restraints on power. This healthy respect for limits offers a way to recover the political and moral realism that contemporary Americans have lost."
(Mark Malvasi)
It is limits that I'm thinking about. Call it restraint or respect, whatever you wish but you should exercise discretion. Have a healthy respect.
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