learn to live

 Watched a segment on the news about back to school. It is that time of year again, after all, the fourth of July is long gone now, Labor Day and back to school are next up. The story began by centering on how much money parents will spend on school supplies. It's expected to be higher this year than any year before. That's a real surprise, the reporter must be psychic! When hasn't the price of anything gone up every year? But there are new considerations and modifications to be made. Backpacks are being phased out in some districts due to safety concerns. You can't really search them without violating someone's rights. You can run them threw a scanner, but that takes time, and getting the children inside in time for classes to begin could be impacted. 

  The report went on to talk about the students themselves. The issue being their mental health. Because of the last two years with Covid, distance learning and all that many have mental issues. Social anxiety tops the list. It was discussed that there is a lack of trained health professionals to help these children. The system is failing them! Concessions and accommodations need to be implemented. The kids are suffering. We should make every effort to provide them with all the help they need. It was a plea on the part of the reporter, a story of doom and gloom. The children, oh my god, the children. They aren't learning how to function in society, how to get along with others and accept differences. They require professional counseling, a safe space and to be accommodated. 

 Well not being a professional health care specialist, child phycologist or behavioral therapist or specialist I can only offer my opinion. In my opinion if you continue to tell these kids they have problems, they will have problems. Teach them to seek help at every turn and that is exactly what they will do. You have to allow children to fail! You have to allow children to get hurt, to get dirty, to learn to resolve their own issues. You have to hold them accountable, not provide excuses for them. They need to learn a simple truth: the world isn't fair! It has never been fair, and it will never be fair. Get that through their head first and foremost. It's nothing personal, it is just a simple, basic fact of life. Like your gender, you are one of two, there aren't other choices. There will always be people smarter, better looking and having more money than you. There will always be better athletes, better musicians, better artists, better poets, better mechanics, better everything than you. There will always be those that are more popular than you are. Get over it! 

 Look, all I'm saying is if we keep telling our children they need help, they will need help. They will become dependent upon that help their entire lives. How many adult children are at home living in mommy and daddy's basement? Oh, they have an entire litany of excuses and reasons for being there. It's not their fault. They want to live independently but they need help. They always need help. And now we are moving into the realm of the invisible. I have anxiety, a serious social disorder. I should be coddled, every accomplishment I make should be celebrated with a Nobel prize! Failure isn't my fault; it is the fault of the system. The system should be replaced with whatever makes me feel comfortable and validated. 

 You know what? It's good for children to be a little afraid. That's right, afraid of their parents and afraid of authority. That fear should be based in accountability. I wasn't afraid of my parents physically hurting me, although a good spanking wasn't out of the question, I was afraid of failure. Now it was expected by my parents that I would fail at some things and succeed at others. Repeating my failures however wasn't expected. Failure wasn't celebrated, failure wasn't excused, I was reminded, you know better than that!  I was expected to learn my lesson and move on from that. Fear of authority? Yes, authority exercises control over my freedom. Was true as a child and true today! Fear or respect? Call it whatever you like the result is the same. The bottom line is it is something children need to learn on their own. You know I was taught that somebody was always watching. Didn't matter much if it was Santa Claus or Jesus Christ. you were being watched. You would be held accountable, that was the lesson. Fear? Only when I knew I was screwing up and was afraid of being caught. Every time I found myself in trouble I knew, it was my own fault. My choice was my own, take the risk and receive the reward, or decide the reward wasn't worth the risk. If you are doing the right thing, there is no risk. Not in the final accounting there isn't. That's because in the end you have to answer to only one person, yourself. Best to learn to live with that person early on is my advice.