Decoding the past

 I received my little device for scanning 35MM slides and have begun that process. It works quite well and as advertised simple enough for a senior to operate. I did laugh at that bit of advertising feeling I was slighted just a bit. That's usually my first reaction when offended, a derisive laugh. After having scanned a number of those slides and transferring them to my desktop computer, yes I still use a desktop, my wife uses a laptop, I began thinking about what to do with them. I have in mind to create a slideshow with them, a sort or remembrance of Uncle George, the man that took the pictures. But more than that, a remembrance of all the people in those photos as well. I have discovered some that have labels on them identifying the people, but many do not. As a result, they are faces lost to time, at least as far as I know. A precious few my wife can identify. Thing is these photos were taken forty years ago or more. The small children in those photos are seniors now! Still, I have in mind a slide show that I could share with family members. So, to the internet I go for advice and whatever equipment/devices I may require. To my surprise I discovered that no one uses DVD's anymore. I have "burned" those in the past and have them in a container. I confess I haven't tried looking at them in a while.

 The internet informed me that I could record my slideshow to an SD card. Hey, I know what they are. Don't get too excited though I said to myself as I read on. Turns out not all SD cards are the same. I would require a specific type and a specific format. The choices, I was told, are numerous. The predominant thing today is simply streaming your creations. They are stored somewhere in the clouds and appear by magic and money. I kept searching for the one that is so easy a senior can do it! I found a couple that makes that promise. I have a lot more reading to do on the subject. All is not as easy as one would think.

 It isn't the first time I have encountered this problem. It's the issue of media. Sure, was easy when we simply wrote the words down and drew some pictures to go along with it. The first portable media. Of course, even then there was the problem of others being able to read what you had written. Think of the hieroglyphics and other ancient writing. Think of Chinese today, if you aren't Chinese, you probably can't make head nor tail out of that! Fortunately, we have computers that will translate all of that. The issue lies in operating the computer. Compatibility is of primary concern. The issue is in the playback. That's what I'm trying to establish. I want to record this slideshow in or on a device that most people can playback. According to the internet only about 1/3 of all households today would have a DVD player. So my question was, what do people use? The answer was, a streaming service for the most part. You can record it to a SD card as long as you use the proper format. Not an easy thing for a senior to grasp. Personally, I hate it when I have a piece of media and am unable to play it. I have had that happen a number of times, where the computer asks, do you want to look for a program to open this media? I'm just a big fan of plug and play. 

 Well, I guess this is all progress. When I was small the advertisement would be, even a child can do it. Now, it's so easy a senior can do it. We sure have made a lot of progress, haven't we? We have one button we can push when we fall and can't get up but a myriad of buttons to watch the television. They still haven't made a remote so easy a senior can use it! And yes, seniors still watch television. The reason for that? Just selecting the proper input for your "monitor" what we call a tv, can be a baffling experience. HDMI, DVI, Display port and the antique VGA only used when everything else isn't available. I'm still looking for the two little screws you attach the antenna too! Yeah, that's progress. 

 I'm undaunted however, I will continue with this project. I'll figure something out eventually. The real difficult lies in finding someone that can explain it to you. Someone that isn't trying to sell you something I mean. But finding a method that people will still be using ten years from now? Well, that's a problem that can't be solved. Are we going to keep making progress to the point where we can't read our own writing? Where we will need a computer to find the program to decipher what was recorded? It took the Rosetta stone for us to decipher what the Egyptians had written. What will be the Rosetta stone in the future? Will it be an old desktop computer discovered in grandpa's attic? Can anyone still use DOS? I wonder about that sometimes. Computers aren't worth a damn if you can't figure out how to use them. I know, been faced with that problem a few times myself. "You need permission from the administrator to perform this function" and I answer, I am the administrator!! "Forgot your password" The computer just laughs, I hear the same derisive laugh I use, followed by, too bad access denied. 

 On second thought maybe I should simply print the pictures and write what I want to go along with them. At least future generations will be able to access that, well as long as I don't write it in cursive and am careful about the use of pronouns. Probably would have to include a "definition of terms" so as not to confuse or offend someone. A disclaimer that states this is what I wrote, this is what it means. An explanation that at this time there were only two genders and Moms were always females, and Dads were always males, and you couldn't marry your pets. 

 Decoding the past isn't always as easy as you might think. Things aren't always what they seem to be or what you are seeing. Recording the past has always been the challenge. Recovering the past is even more difficult. On those slides there are faces without names, but they were all people of importance. I have in mind preserving them for future generations and a method that those future generations will be able to do so. Something so easy even a child or a senior can do it! Now that, that will be progress. 

It's a comfort

  A cedar shingled house transports me back home every time I see one. My grandparents both lived in houses like that. My own childhood home was covered with those asbestos shingles that were so popular in the 50's. Still, it is those cedar shingles that hold that magic for me. The older they get, the better they look. Whether they get darker with age or get bleached almost grey makes no difference to me, both are as familiar as my own hands. Both give me that warmth, the warmth of a home.

 I love log cabins, I used to dream about owning one tucked away in the woods somewhere. A brook, creek, river or pond would be close by. Today though, I think about owning a cedar shingled house. It's two stories with a porch across the front, one side may be covered in ivy. The standard six over six double hung windows painted bright white in contrast. A brick chimney extends from the peak of that roof. This house would also be in the woods or possibly tucked away in a cul de sac. It will look old, with a clothes yard off to the side. A wood pile sits close to the back door, an ax stuck in the chopping block. The drive is dirt, just two ruts with a grass strip in the center. 

 I notice these homes wherever I go. I know of several in the area and admire them. They are not pristine examples, quite the contrary. Those homes are lived in, and I imagine filled with love, and stories of love and loss. Houses that have stood against time, weather and misfortune. They are houses with a soul. That is my thinking. Home Sweet Home. That house memorialized in song sits on Main Street in the town I grew up in. It is a cedar shingled salt box style home. That style was developed to avoid paying an additional tax for having a two story home. It was designed as a deceit. The cedar shingles were used out of necessity and availability. They are also durable, cedar doesn't rot. More commonly called shaker shingles these days, they are quite expensive. Rather ironic to me as only the common folks had them on their homes when I was young. I figured they were the cheap stuff. And they were at the time, today that resource is becoming scarce. 

 As a man that loves tools I have quite a few. I do have some specialized ones, designed for a specific job or purpose. I don't have a shingling hatchet, however. My grandmother had one and my great grandfather. I remember them well. As a kid I used them to make some kindling wood for both of them. I wasn't allowed to use the ax, practice with that hatchet first. How many would recognize that tool for what it is? 

 Strange the things that evoke emotions sometimes. Cedar shingles, the smell of salt air or a particular word or phrase. Those little things, sitting around my home that I call knick-knacks, do that repeatedly. It's the reason I keep them around. Objects that hold emotions have a soul. That is what we feel when that connection is made. Call it love, contentment or possibly reassurance, it's always a comfort. 

Leaving a record

 We have all heard the expression, leaving a paper trail, and more recently leaving your digital footprint. It is certainly true on both accounts, at least with me it is. I went looking for a document and discovered the tremendous amount of paper I have. Files and folders full of paper. The majority of it relates to research on the family tree but there is plenty of the other stuff around. I keep a notepad on my desk beside the computer. I have taken to saving those after they are filled. Not sure why I do but I have quite a number of them, filled with notes on various topics, scribbles of ideas and dates, lots of dates. So, I'm not leaving a paper trail, it's becoming more of a superhighway! I really need to start throwing some of that stuff away.

  The thing is this, if I were someone famous all these papers would be preserved. Then others would be interested in anything I wrote. You hear about discoveries made concerning documents from celebrities and how much value is placed upon them. The most obvious, the glaring one being a simple autograph. People are willing to spend a good deal of money just to have a signature. It is something that always fascinated me. Not the autograph but why anyone would spend money to get one. And that was doubly so when the signature would be someone you didn't even meet. I don't believe there is a single thing anyone would pay a single dime for that I signed. After all, these days I don't even sign a check. LOL, not that my checks would be worth a whole lot. 

  In all of this stuff, these papers and documents I have, very few are written in someone else's hand. What I mean is, I don't have much in the way of letters or cards written by my parents, grandparents or siblings. I don't save Christmas cards or birthday cards given to me. They usually lie around for a few weeks before being discarded. Cards being discarded, I haven't really thought about that before now. If you send it to the wrong person is that a miscard? Well, whatever the case is I don't have many things with autographs on them. Some of the things I have written are in cursive. Not very good cursive, penmanship wasn't my strongest subject, and it will be a struggle for others to read. More like reading hieroglyphics!  

  I'm thinking at some point I may write something for all the grandkids to keep as an example of ancient writing they could show to their children. Perhaps record a bit of news, telling the story in my own words. Maybe like the time before cell phones and selfies! Seriously though I would pick something a bit more memorable, like the story of 9/11 or when Trump was President. Those are things that will be remembered and taught in history classes in the future. Perhaps the overturning of Roe V Wade that sort of thing. Or maybe something more personal, like how I met Grandma and some of the adventures we had together. Would be a shock, I'm sure! When they are old enough, they will be able to handle that. On second thought, maybe not, why expose that we are normal, everyday people. We never did anything foolish or wrong, not us. That isn't where the trail will lead, not if I write the signposts! Something to think about.         

In the background

  I ordered a device that will scan 35MM slides and convert them to digital files. They will then be in JPEG format. JPEG stands for Joint Photographic Experts Group, the folks that decided upon the standard. I read where that is the go-to format. I know it is what I use all the time. This device is supposed to be easy to use, for seniors! That's even a part of the advertising, the simplicity of use, even a senior can do it. Very reassuring. But I'm looking forward to trying this out. 

  My wifes' Uncle George was an avid photographer. Generally speaking, he just took pictures of the family. A lifelong bachelor it was a passion of his. Later in life he became blind. After his passing a cache of 35MM slides were discovered. He also had the projector which was still in working order. My wife was given these things because there was no one else having an interest in them. My wife may be one of the few that would recognize some of the people in those photographs. Now I have another possession that belonged to Uncle George, a memorial print on velvet saying remember Pearl Harbor. He displayed that in his front window every year and I have taken up the tradition. I had developed a relationship with Uncle George over the years as well. 

  So, I have in mind to scan all those slides, identifying whoever I can and create a record. Placing them on SD cards to preserve them for whoever would like them. No one wants to watch a slide show the old fashioned way. We have all become spoiled in a fashion. We now demand narration, background music and a smooth polished presentation. I don't believe I can provide all of that but at least you won't have to push a button to change the slide every time. OMG, imaging you tiring that would be. 

  I am well aware that the majority of these pictures will hold no meaning for me, many will be unidentified. I'm thinking the background may prove more interesting than the subject of the picture. The heyday of the slide show was in the 1950's. I'm certain the majority of those slides will be from the 50's and 60's. Uncle George tried to stay on the cutting edge of technology and began using super 8 and VHS later on. I don't know the fate of any of those recordings. Like I said he did lose his vision later on and with the tapes, by listening, he could tell you about them somewhat. 

 I'm excited to start the process. It is going to take some time to scan all those images. My concern is that they are saved, preserved for future generations. Just how interesting they will be I can't say. Still, it will be a connection to the past. A conversation starter perhaps. Uncle George being a confirmed bachelor had no children. I know it is possible that he could have, but he didn't. He did have three sisters though. I'm not certain of their whereabouts or even if they are still with us. If so, they would be of advanced age. I will attempt to locate their children when I'm finished with this project and send them a copy. Hopefully they will appreciate them as well. 

 It should be fun though. I will post any interesting finds on my Facebook page to share with others. No telling what exactly will be found in the background. It should be interesting to see the style of clothing worn, hairstyles and that sort of thing. Because I will not know the people in the photographs beyond what my wife may be able to identify it is the background that interests me the most. Rather ironic when you think about that. Uncle George photographed the individuals, preserving that moment, that memory for himself. That's what we all do to an extent. We even take "selfies" these days. The irony is Uncle Georges memories are lost to time, he no longer being here to identify them, but I'm interested in saving the backgrounds, something he probably never even considered when taking the picture.          

Heroes and Villains

 Ever get excited about a "find" only to discover it was nothing to get too excited about? I have had that happen to me more times than I care to mention. Most often it happens when researching the family tree. It happens because I am somewhat of a stickler when it comes to the facts, the straight truth of the matter. Then having uncovered the truth I find myself a bit disappointed. No heroic characters from my past, no one famous, just regular folks living regular lives for the times they were in. I've also had that experience with things. Nothing of great rarity or value, just stuff. Stuff that is cool if you knew the person or were related in some fashion but nothing real exciting. 

 An example is an "escape" map I found among my father's things from his time in WW2. He was a flight engineer on B-24 Consolidated bombers. So he had this escape map that covered an area of Japan. It is printed on Rayon to be waterproof and lightweight. The date on that map is 1942. Pretty cool, exciting even. I had visions of Dad putting this map into the pocket of his flight jacket, you know the type, leather with a big fur collar, iconic in appearance. It was a bomb run over Kanazawa Japan or possibly Sendai Japan. Next to that in the same pocket would have been his "blood" chit. That chit promises a reward to anyone helping him escape should he get shot down. It is also printed on Rayon and the writing is in Chinese because he was flying over Chinese territory to gain access to Japan. Also, in that pocket would have been the handkerchief his grandmother embroidered for him. I have that mounted in a frame hanging on my living room wall. All pretty cool stuff.

 After doing some reading and research there was a let down. I read about the bombing raids in Japan during the time my father was there. Turns out Kanazawa was never bombed. Dad couldn't have flown over that area. The other side of that map was Sendai, perhaps that was it. Sendai had indeed been the target of the Eighth Air Force late in 1944. I read where a campaign of carpet bombing had been carried out. Then I read where it was conducted by a squadron of B-29 Super fortresses. Dad never flew in a B-29 so he wouldn't have been a part of that. That leaves me with the question, why did he have that map? I did some more research on that map, and it turns out 33,000 of them were printed. Perhaps he was issued that map as just in case thing, perhaps he just traded something for it. Still a cool relic but I can't attach a great story to it. 

 Now I have some things from my time in the Navy. I have quite the collection of "Letters of Appreciation" and a few "Letters of Commendation" along with certificates of training, and certificates marking milestones. I have my Shellback certificate, a Bluenose certificate, an Order of the Rock certificate and a Suez Safari certificate. All are framed and look pretty cool. Well, not the letters, they are in the closet somewhere, in a pile. When they are "discovered" it may cause some excitement on the part of the grandkids or great grands. Perhaps they will wonder about all of that. I was there for Desert Shield/ Desert Storm and have the medals to prove it. Thing is, I was there but never in any real danger at all. I was serving on an Ammo ship providing shells and oil to the other ships in the fleet. Well back from any serious threat. I have navigated the Straits of Hormuz. It all sounds exciting unless you were there, then you know the truth of it. If they do their research, that is what they will discover. 

 Maybe it is just the optimist in me but I'm always thinking I will make a discovery of importance. All I have found is the everyday things of life. I do enjoy finding out about the lives of my ancestors, especially the ones long gone before my time. I know I have had whalers, those seagoing men chasing the "great beasts" for their oil. Some ancestors were pioneers, heading west back in the day. I've discovered ship Captains, carpenters, merchants and photographers. There has been tailors and shipbuilders. At least one ancestor was an indentured servant, later becoming a shoemaker. But all of those people were just the regular folk of their day. No heroes, no standouts, no fame or fortunes. Today they are all just names in history, names carved in stone, or simply buried and forgotten to time. 

 It's a temptation to elaborate and speculate about those folks. It wouldn't be too difficult to build a story about any number of them. My second great grandfather was at Fort Sumter during the Civil War. I had vision of him charging into battle. Truth is, he was there on picket duty after the fort had been surrendered back to the Union forces. He spent most of his enlistment in the hospital, not from battle wounds but from disease. After the war he suffered from what we now call PTSD although at the time they just called that "nerves." He had a breakdown at some point and seems to have recovered. Not a very heroic tale to tell. But I'm interested in the truth and that is simply how it was. My own father was in a plane crash! Yes, his bomber crashed. Thing is it crashed shortly after taking off and not from a high altitude at all. His knee was injured in that crash, everyone survived. As Dad told the story he tried to warn the pilot that the plane was overloaded and with the current weather conditions it wouldn't fly but that college man figured he knew better! So, the true story is one of error, not of valor. Just the everyday stuff during that time in history.

 It has been said that fact is stranger than fiction. That is true often enough. But the facts are often not very exciting. That is true almost all the time. I think if we are lucky, we will have a "moment" that fifteen minutes Andy Warhol spoke of. He actually said, "In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes." In this day of Twitter and the world wide web, he may not have been far off the mark. Have I had a heroic moment? In my own mind I have, but I don't get to choose that. Only history gets to choose the heroes and the villains. Strangely even they are subject to change, by history. It's all in how the story is told.   

learn to live

 Watched a segment on the news about back to school. It is that time of year again, after all, the fourth of July is long gone now, Labor Day and back to school are next up. The story began by centering on how much money parents will spend on school supplies. It's expected to be higher this year than any year before. That's a real surprise, the reporter must be psychic! When hasn't the price of anything gone up every year? But there are new considerations and modifications to be made. Backpacks are being phased out in some districts due to safety concerns. You can't really search them without violating someone's rights. You can run them threw a scanner, but that takes time, and getting the children inside in time for classes to begin could be impacted. 

  The report went on to talk about the students themselves. The issue being their mental health. Because of the last two years with Covid, distance learning and all that many have mental issues. Social anxiety tops the list. It was discussed that there is a lack of trained health professionals to help these children. The system is failing them! Concessions and accommodations need to be implemented. The kids are suffering. We should make every effort to provide them with all the help they need. It was a plea on the part of the reporter, a story of doom and gloom. The children, oh my god, the children. They aren't learning how to function in society, how to get along with others and accept differences. They require professional counseling, a safe space and to be accommodated. 

 Well not being a professional health care specialist, child phycologist or behavioral therapist or specialist I can only offer my opinion. In my opinion if you continue to tell these kids they have problems, they will have problems. Teach them to seek help at every turn and that is exactly what they will do. You have to allow children to fail! You have to allow children to get hurt, to get dirty, to learn to resolve their own issues. You have to hold them accountable, not provide excuses for them. They need to learn a simple truth: the world isn't fair! It has never been fair, and it will never be fair. Get that through their head first and foremost. It's nothing personal, it is just a simple, basic fact of life. Like your gender, you are one of two, there aren't other choices. There will always be people smarter, better looking and having more money than you. There will always be better athletes, better musicians, better artists, better poets, better mechanics, better everything than you. There will always be those that are more popular than you are. Get over it! 

 Look, all I'm saying is if we keep telling our children they need help, they will need help. They will become dependent upon that help their entire lives. How many adult children are at home living in mommy and daddy's basement? Oh, they have an entire litany of excuses and reasons for being there. It's not their fault. They want to live independently but they need help. They always need help. And now we are moving into the realm of the invisible. I have anxiety, a serious social disorder. I should be coddled, every accomplishment I make should be celebrated with a Nobel prize! Failure isn't my fault; it is the fault of the system. The system should be replaced with whatever makes me feel comfortable and validated. 

 You know what? It's good for children to be a little afraid. That's right, afraid of their parents and afraid of authority. That fear should be based in accountability. I wasn't afraid of my parents physically hurting me, although a good spanking wasn't out of the question, I was afraid of failure. Now it was expected by my parents that I would fail at some things and succeed at others. Repeating my failures however wasn't expected. Failure wasn't celebrated, failure wasn't excused, I was reminded, you know better than that!  I was expected to learn my lesson and move on from that. Fear of authority? Yes, authority exercises control over my freedom. Was true as a child and true today! Fear or respect? Call it whatever you like the result is the same. The bottom line is it is something children need to learn on their own. You know I was taught that somebody was always watching. Didn't matter much if it was Santa Claus or Jesus Christ. you were being watched. You would be held accountable, that was the lesson. Fear? Only when I knew I was screwing up and was afraid of being caught. Every time I found myself in trouble I knew, it was my own fault. My choice was my own, take the risk and receive the reward, or decide the reward wasn't worth the risk. If you are doing the right thing, there is no risk. Not in the final accounting there isn't. That's because in the end you have to answer to only one person, yourself. Best to learn to live with that person early on is my advice.        

not at all

 This past Saturday I went to breakfast with my son and his wife. It was a birthday celebration for me. It was just us, no grandchildren in attendance. It wasn't the first time we have gotten together without the kids being present, but it did give me pause to think. I said to my wife, guess it's just us old people now. And that is what hit home a bit, the kids are old people. I'm certain they don't feel that way, my son is forty-seven and I'm not telling my daughter in laws age, but she isn't a teenager! Suffice to say her children, my grandchildren aren't teenagers either. They are busy with their lives, working, going to college, having relationships. No time for breakfast with the old folks. For the first time I felt like I was having breakfast with other adults, isn't that a strange thing? I mean, yeah, he is my son, but we stand on equal ground. He is, and has been for a number of years, the Mayor of Greensboro. Maria is some sort of vice president for loan operations at Shore United Bank. A position of great responsibility and trust. We, the wife and I, are just the old, retired people that they watch out for. You know what I mean, offer advice about modern technology, explain things to us, and watch us when we are stepping up and down curbs. They are beginning to "parent" the parents. It's kinda cute and touching in a way. 

 Now when we do see the grandkids these days, they are feeling all grown up. They are still respectful of the old people, that's good thing, but express their opinions a bit more freely than in years past. Mark, becoming a recent college graduate and holding a degree is feeling, how should I say this, enlightened. I have noticed he is beginning to lean more toward the liberal side of things, a sort of rebellion against his grandfather and my outdated thinking. I understand that and just smile to myself. That isn't to say it doesn't rile me up sometimes. We are alike in some ways, stubborn and bull headed, a bit of a know it all. Of course, in my case I have the advantage of experience. He calls that old fashioned. He is rebelling against his father a bit too, about life decisions and that sort of thing. Butting heads is what I call that. I did it with my Dad. Now, all these years later I find myself in agreement with what Dad was saying more than not. Sometimes you don't appreciate what you have till it's gone. 

 Now I'm feeling like a new phase has begun. The phase were the kids hang out with the parents. They do so and feel good about that. But not because they feel like they have to, I don't mean it in that way, they want to. Whatever the motivation to do so is not important. The importance lies in action, not thought. We all say, it's the thought that counts but we mean the action caused by that thought. It doesn't matter if it just sending a card, a quick phone call to just say Hi, or a text message. It is the action of them thinking about you that is important. It's a reassurance to know that you are being thought about. 

 As for the kids (my son and his wife) I think this will be a temporary lull. Mark has wedding plans and Morgan is in a relationship. Can grandchildren be far off? I can see that in the not too distant future. Perhaps a year or two. The grandkids have good heads on their shoulders, and I don't think there will be any accidents. Yes, I know said every parent and grandparent that ever lived. But my point is simply when that happens my kids will be active grandparents, no doubt about that. To be truthful I haven't really gotten used to the idea that those kids are parents! To think about them becoming grandparents? Well, it's strange world we all live in that much is certain. And now, now all I can do is sit back and watch. I'm just a spectator in all of this. And you know what? That isn't a bad thing. Not at all.         

the parental state

 The parental state. That's what I think our government is going to become if things don't change. It certainly seems that is what a great number of people are proposing these days. There is to be no self-accountability, only accountability to the state. And by the state, I mean law. This extends from business all the way down to the individual. That change is evident if you look. Take a close look at the manner of lawsuits being filed these days. A great many involve placing the blame. It's true that what lawsuits have always been about, holding the responsible party accountable, but where is the blame being placed today? Mostly on inanimate objects, manufacturers and some vague claims of inequity. And the thing is, like a doting parent, the state is now insisting that you are not at fault, someone else is. If you have a mental issue, commit a serious crime, that's probably because you didn't receive mental health services before you needed those mental health services. It's not your fault at all, it is the fault of the system. Your "parent" failed you. The "system" failed you. 

 I listen daily as the news is broadcast. The increase in crime, deadly shootings, corruption in government, and the proposals for dealing with all that. The proposals don't include punishment for wrongdoing, no, the proposals are for reward. Well because people are going to break the law anyway. If we strike that law from the books, then there will be less crime. If we remove every weapon, then weapons can't be used. It isn't the people; it is the law that is at fault! It's the "system" that needs to change, to become more lenient and understanding. The "system" should be better parents. Well, popular parents is closer to the truth. You know, those parents that just allow you to do whatever and then bail you out when you get in trouble. 

 That is the "parental" state. There are those that are completely satisfied with that lifestyle. They are happy living in their parents' basement being dependent upon that. They have a litany of excuses and reasons for that. They borrowed money and have to pay it back. They can't find a job that pays them what they demand. They have "issues" with social anxiety and personality disorders. It's not their fault, never is. And with all of that they should be treated equally. Equality means I have everything you have. It doesn't mean I should have to work as hard as you though, I shouldn't have to do equal work, just receive equal benefits. The government (my parents) should provide for me. It should be free. 

  Yes, parents should lecture you occasionally, after all they earned that right, but they shouldn't punish you. That would be child abuse. You can't hold children accountable, and remember parents will tell you, you are always their child. So that means you should never be punished. No, you get a lecture and an admonishment to do better next time. It wasn't really your fault anyway; it was a failure on your parents' part. They didn't tell you, there was no warning label! The "parental" state failed to prepare you properly! Somebody should sue. Someone beside you should be held accountable!             

think about it

 What do you do, for you? It's a question that can be difficult to answer. I know it is for me. I write these daily essays and explanations in the hope that the future will enjoy them. I suppose you could say that is for me. I really don't believe they are anything more than an amusement to others. Sometimes I like to think they are insightful and provide some food for thought, that they are meaningful. But that is a value I don't get to assign. I do it for me. We all want validation and I'm no exception to the rule when it comes to that. It's part of the reason I do things for others. I think it is part of the reason we all do things for others. Feels good to hear a thank you, receive a little praise for a job well done. Doing for others is a self-satisfying thing. That's true even when you get paid to do it. We disguise that as taking pride in our work. Sometimes we do the same work in our off time and call that our hobby. Then we admit we are doing it for ourselves. 

 It's a funny thing. When I was growing up it was our deeds that were measured and admired. It was the things we did for others that received the emphasis. To concentrate on things for yourself was called being selfish or self-centered. None of that was a good thing. Somewhere along the way, that attitude has shifted somewhat. Self-care it is being called. Do not be concerned with others, be concerned with your wants and needs first. The thinking today is becoming, make yourself happy without regard for others, their thoughts, their needs or wishes. Your rights supersede others. 

 That attitude is tied into religious belief. All religions have at least one thing in common, the promise of a reward. Whether that reward is eternal life or another chance at living, the promise is a reward for following the instructions. All religions instruct us on how to treat one another. Religion seeks to establish a moral base. Morality establishes equality. In fact, morality is the only enforcement of equality that there is. It's a personal thing, enforced by yourself. Governments attempt to codify moral conduct calling it law. The reward for compliance being not being punished. Really the same as what religion promises except with the law the punishment is immediate. 

 What I do for me, should be done for others. That's the message I was told. I was told that by the others. The reward would come later on, as long as I believed it would. A self-fulfilling prophecy. Others certainly appreciate it, that much is true. Well, most people do anyway, there are always the users. Nothing is absolute. Well except for death that is, that is certain. What we don't know is what happens after that. The only control we have over that eventuality is what we do here on earth. That's the message. Do unto others is a Christian doctrine. The lesson? Please others and you will please yourself. That's because you will be doing what you want done to you. The only issue being getting others to want what you want. You can't do it for yourself! You have to do it for others. What are you doing for yourself? The question isn't as east to answer as you think, if you think about it. 

mean tweets

 I guess we will have to wait for the new season of Jan 6 to see the next episodes. The Democrats wrapped up this season last night. I didn't watch. How long can they carry on with this? The new episodes will be out just prior to the mid-terms of that you can be certain. Maybe a few teasers in between but the main event not until September. They need time to find some new sponsors and witnesses. Perhaps a few secret witnesses as well, brought up from the basement, remaining completely anonymous. Kept as secret as the contents of Hunter Biden's laptop and Maxwell's client list. 

 In other news the Dems are busy trying to codify same sex marriage, abortions, and any other controversial topic you can name. It's a full court press to satisfy the demands of the extreme left. It is an all-out attempt to secure the vote at any cost. The only concern being the retention of power, no concern for America or the American people. Even as these same people are being strangled by high prices and even higher crime rates the thinking is, they will vote for us if we just give them what they want. 

 Create a dependence and then cash in on that. That's the plan. You won't have a choice! Not if we can make it law. You will support those that either refuse to work, aren't able to function because of their drug and alcohol use, can't work because they aren't in the country legally, or any other reason for that matter. The jail doors will be thrown open and the criminals turned loose. No matter, by that time the fence will be a fortress protecting the capital. Only "authorized" people will be allowed to have arms.

 Have you noticed? This administration priorities have been what? First and foremost, to vilify Trump. Trump, the big evil orange man that sent out mean tweets. The man that was going to get us in a war! The man that made America energy independent! Talk about losing your sponsors! You can't cut them out of the profits and expect their backing, can you? Did you see the reception Biden received on his trip to Saudi Arbia? Did you see the reception Trump received? Quite a stark contrast wasn't there. Why was that? It's simple really. If you want to do business, do it with a businessman, not a puppet. And that was the whole problem with Trump. He was concerned with the business of government, not feelings. Diplomacy in business is quite different than diplomacy for political gain. With one the implied action is, I will kick your *ss and in the other I will kiss you *ss. 

  It takes a firm hand on the reins. That's an old adage that explains a few things. You can't be limp wristed, weak and afraid. Yeah, you might have to use the lash on occasion, just to let the team know you're in charge. Right now, with this administration there is serious doubt. Just who is in charge? Is it really Joe Biden? No, he is just there for show. He will do as he is told, read the teleprompter as faithfully as he is able, and wander off if not watched closely. Joe doesn't even know where the wagon is supposed to be going! Just what is the agenda of the Democrats? Ask yourself that and give yourself an honest answer. If you do that, you will be concerned. You will be if you care about the next generation(s) and what America will become. Just what are the Democrats doing for America? That's the question. Not minorities, not equity, not you, not for me, but for America. America is worth the fight. And yes, mean tweets too.   

ignorance

 We have all heard it said, ignorance is bliss. I agree that it certainly can be. First thing to understand is that ignorance is simply a lack of knowledge. Being ignorant doesn't mean you are stupid; it means you haven't learned something yet. Ignorance has nothing to do with the ability to learn. That being understood we need to understand that knowledge itself can be troubling. That's why being ignorant can be a good thing. Being ignorant is another way to avoid the more unpleasant things in life. It also leaves you open to other possibilities.

 Those thoughts came to mind after hearing the news report this morning. They were discussing the election results. It was announced that our current governor, Larry Hogan, said he will not vote for the republican candidate in the November elections. The candidate he had endorsed lost in the primary. That's fine, his prerogative, but I thought, he shouldn't be saying that. My thought was, it was better when we were all a bit ignorant about such things. I mean when we didn't go around telling everyone who we were voting for, what out sexual preferences were, and discussing our incomes. Those subjects were only shared with those closest to us. In some cases, not even then. I think that was in the days when everyone was given the benefit of the doubt. I sincerely doubted your choices would be different than mine. At least I pretended I gave you that benefit anyway. I still do. That's why what some perceive as argument is really just me being incredulous. I don't believe it and so try to educate you on the subject. 

 The people that are the most content are those that only know what they need to know. That's my thinking anyway. I want to know enough to protect myself from harm and have intelligent conversations with people. But I do believe in the don't ask, don't tell mentality concerning certain subjects. If I need to know that stuff, I'll ask. Sometimes when you know too much, it's uncomfortable. The more you know about another, the stronger your feelings grow, whether for the good or bad! That is the purpose of marriage, to really learn about one another. Yes, today we all want to hedge our bets in that regard, that's why the acceptance of "living in sin" and all that whole attitude. Gives us a chance to really get to know one another without the commitment. Relationships are always a risk, that's just the way it is.

 I'm not talking about keeping secrets from each other. Secrets are those things that may cause injury. Isn't that the perception there? Yes, secret knowledge that inhibits our ability to make an informed decision. Secrets are always bad to the ones that don't know them. That isn't the reality though, just the perception. I'm talking about the things you need to know. If I just meet you casually in the street, a brief encounter, do I need to know your politics? We have all encountered those people. The ones that want to tell you their life story the very first time you meet them. I would just as soon remain ignorant of your troubling bodily functions or a failing relationship you are having. I am not interested in a romantic relationship with you. Should that develop, I'll ask. Until then just assume traditional roles apply. That will about 97% of the time anyway. 

 We all form our opinions, our likes and dislikes. Call them prejudices, attitudes, or countenance it makes little difference. They are the things we like or dislike when it comes to other people. Personalities clash on occasion. All of that is based in knowledge, or perceived knowledge about the other person. Truth and prejudice are often confused. If you tell me something, I assume you are telling me the truth. That is especially true if you tell me something in confidence. If you tell me in confidence, I assume that it is something you feel I have a need to know. Or more correctly, something you want me to know that is important to you. The hope on your part is for acceptance of that information. Acceptance and understanding. Thing is, do I need to know? 

 It just seems to me we all got along a lot better with one another before we started with all this transparency. Seems like a great thing on the surface, like chocolate cake. But too much of either one can be detrimental. Best to have just a little bit of that at a time. Don't put all your cards on the table at once. That's another analogy we seem to have forgotten about. It is best to keep those cards close to the chest! Keep the other players ignorant. When the time is right, they'll learn, you'll educate them. Or they you.   

aging

 Having reached the age of sixty-nine, at least in a few more hours I will have, I have to say it isn't what I expected. First, I didn't think I'd make it this far and secondly if I did, I would be old! I don't feel old. Oh, I hear that I am all the time but that is always from those that are inexperienced. Kids really, what do they know? Well given time they will learn.

 Seriously though I was thinking about becoming sixty-nine and how that is supposed to be. Thinking back and remembering the "adults" in my past and how they were. I remember thinking they were old, they looked old, they moved like they were old, and by God they were old. A good many of them were in fact younger than I am today. Talking with me was always a bit awkward, they often laughed at the way I said things or told me how I was wrong. When I got older, I would know "better." I'm older but not sure I know "better" just know what hurts the most the next day. That's what I've learned to avoid mostly, getting hurt. And that hurt isn't physical, you learn to live with that, it is the emotional hurt you learn to control. 

 I didn't realize you spent so much time just thinking about things when you get old. It's almost like you begin living your life in review. All the what if's and what if I had's. But really it is just the baggage you learn to discard. You understand there is no point in carrying all that stuff around with you all the time. Old grudges, old heartaches, and old disappointments. Just leave those things behind. And I think that is the difference between young and old. When you are young you are concerned with "getting" stuff and when you are old you are concerned with getting "rid" of stuff. A sort of going back to the beginning. Sometimes that even happens in a physical way, another one of those things in life.

 It's just another day I tell myself. And indeed, it is just that. My thoughts go to an old friend, it's his birthday too, he was born just a few hours after myself. Several other old friends will be celebrating their birthdays over the next few days. Seems like there was a bit of a baby boom in July of '53 in old East Hampton. I'm happy to be able to say there are all still here too. That's the other thing about growing older, the frequency of saying that final goodbye. Often when you look at the age of those people it is sobering. They weren't old either. 

 So today I plan on cutting the grass, starting early before the heat of the day. I'll respond to all the birthday wishes; they are appreciated. I will have cake later today. Just another day. But it's a day I do get to hold a trump card. I can play that card whenever I want, it's my birthday. Not that it always works but it is still nice to have. LOL. No birthday week for me, no birthday weekend, just the one day. One day I'm holding the card. Takes years of experience to know how to deploy that card in the most effective way. All day I'll be watching for my chance. That is the exciting part for me. "But, it's my birthday." I've heard it said with age comes wisdom. I'm not aged enough for that, I guess. Still just a wise guy to most people.    

the first

  When I was growing up I had a gramp and a nana. Gramp was Great Grandfather Floyd and nana was Grandmother Cecilia. Those were the names used to address those folks. My Mother was Mom, occasionally ma when I was teasing her, and my father was always Dad. My sisters name was Mildred, but everyone called her Millie. Harold and Dan were my brothers and were called Harold and Dan. My dad always called me bubba. I was told that was because when I was born my sister couldn't say brother, she said bubba, and so it stuck with dad. Dad was the only one that called me bubba though, to everyone else in the family I was little ben. Dad's name was Austin, but he was known as ben. Everyone else were Aunts and Uncles if my parents knew them personally, if not, they were Mr. or Mrs. followed by their last name. And there were a few "characters" in town that even as a child I was allowed to call by their name, at least around my parents I was, but never to them directly. A man they called Porky comes to mind. I think his name was Dick, but I wouldn't swear to that. The reason for that was unknown to me at the time but in later years I came to realize that was a withholding of respect for those people. Yeah, what we talk about today as being inclusive and tolerant. Their "lifestyle" choices were not approved of and that is why that withholding of respect was allowed. Still, I knew to never say that to them directly! Call it discretion. 

 We assign names to people, objects and actions. We call that semantics. What do we actually mean when using a particular word or phrase? It is an ever changing, ever evolving thing, these semantics. Simple things that take on new and different meanings. In our Christmas songs we sing about being happy and gay. Gay means something different today than when that song was written. If you say you are gay, if you just mean you're happy, you do have to include an explanation of that. In addressing our elected officials their titles were normally used. Mayor this or Officer so and so. Today that isn't as prevalent. Consider the way the President of the United States may be addressed. Used to be, Mr. President, today you will hear Orange man or Sleepy Joe. More often than not just the last name will be used dropping the title altogether. Abortion is now, reproductive choice or healthcare. It is still the same action, just a different connotation by the changing of the name. 

 All of this is a psychological thing. Something I learned while training to be a Navy recruiter is, what you say and what people hear are often quite different things. We have all heard the stories of the recruiter lying to me. I personally never lied to anyone when recruiting them. What they heard however I can't say for certain. I think the same thing is happening with these student loans so many are complaining about. What they heard was, I'll get the money, what they didn't hear was, there is interest to be paid, interest that begins to accrue the minute you sign the papers. But they are still giddy with the feeling, I'm going to get what I want. I'm going to college, having a great time, and when I graduate, I'll get a job doing exactly what I want to do and make a lot of money. Not much different from some who join the service believing they will become an Admiral and rule the seas! When I first signed up I thought I was going to nuclear power school. I was then going to get out and get a job in the nuclear field and make big bucks. That isn't what happened. No one lied to me, I could have gone to nuclear power school, it was an option. For personal reasons I opted out of that program. I didn't sign that paper. 

 That is what I said, but it isn't what I mean. That's a useful tool to have in the toolbox, isn't it? Seems like it is the stock in trade these days. Your word isn't so much a bond these days, more like a post-it note. Might stay, might not. And being the first is always the best these days. No, not finishing first, or being the best, not that kind of first. You should be hired or elected because you will be the first! Your qualifications for the actual job or position are secondary to that. More important to be the first. Consider Rachel Levine. First trans/crossdresser to be the assistant secretary of health! He was a pediatrician. Now he thinks he is a woman, wears women clothing and advocates for encouraging children to be transgender. And he is a four star Admiral. More importantly however, he is the first. The message being, that's a good thing. It's always a good thing to be first. Well unless you are Madam Curie that is, then you die from being the first to handle radium. Then you are buried in a lead lined coffin with radioactive symbols on the outside. 

 Well, I guess I wandered off a bit in my thoughts. It's something I often do and not much I can do about it. I'll call it my style. Every writer has a style. Maybe I can name it, transformational intelligence or something fancy sounding like that. I can be the first! I still hear my father calling me bubba and look up. I still talk about gramp and nana. Those names identify specific individuals to me. Great Grandfather could mean a lot of people, there is only one gramp. He was the first. I got thrown off FaceBook for some words I used but I wasn't the first and that, that is a good thing.     

Holistic law

  It's developing into a trend. Law enforcement not enforcing the law. It isn't the officers on the beat though, it is the leadership instructing them not to enforce the law. No matter how you feel about a law, any law, it is a law as long as it is on the books. Individual states attorneys, or political figures do not get to decide what law is enforced and what law isn't! I hear a great deal about this on my local news because of Baltimore city. Marilyn Mosby, the city states attorney, has refused to prosecute a list of crimes she independently classified as, low level. As a result the criminals have been emboldened and the result is the city is like a shooting gallery. She is running for reelection despite being under federal indictment for tax fraud and lying on loan papers. In her latest statement she says she will not enforce the law about the so called "squeegee" kids. One of these kids, a 14 year old just shot and killed a man. There are several laws prohibiting the practice of "squeegee" kids. Instead, Marilyn Mosby says she will be taking a more "holistic" approach. What does that even mean? 

 It isn't just Baltimore however; this is happening all over the country. Take the whole marijuana thing. Regardless of your feeling about that it is still a federal crime. It isn't legal anywhere in the United States of America. The fact is no State may make law contrary to Federal law. For clarification see the Supremacy clause of the constitution. But how many states have decided to simply ignore federal law and establish their own rules? The reasons for doing so are as numerous as the people using the product. None of those reason negate the law. The law must be stricken from the books. Roe V Wade was never a law. The court has thrown that decision back to the states. The court simply issued an opinion that there is no constitutional guarantee to an abortion. The court does not say whether it is a law or not. Again, it was never a law. 

 The whole marijuana and abortion issues are just a few examples. There are many things similar to that going on. The thing is this, if you don't enforce the law, lawlessness is the result. Not a difficult concept to grasp. It won't win you any popularity contests that's a fact, but laws were written for a reason. For every reason a law was written, a reason it shouldn't have been can be offered. The law seeks to establish a minimum standard. Law enforcement, like a referee or umpire, is there to enforce the rules. They are bound by those rules whether they like the rule or not. They don't get to choose what rule to enforce or not. I don't understand how these "leaders" feel that they should have that latitude. They do not.

 This whole attitude is spreading. The respect for the law is waning. The lack of respect many children growing up today have for authority figures is a reflection of that. If the authority figures exempt themselves from the rules, why shouldn't I? The whole do as I say, not as I do scenario. I was raised with the answer, because I said so! That was the only law necessary. The objective was always to teach respect. Respect for others, for others property, and respect for the law. Responding in a respectful way was always to be the first response. Objections, exemptions, excuses, explanations and all of that came later. First you obeyed the law, then you appealed.

 The real problem lies in the support this new attitude is receiving. Who is supporting this? Politicians, lawyers and activists for the most part. The reason is very simple, it is profitable. Those groups benefit from this "tolerance" as it will either get them votes or money. When it comes to the rules, or the law, you can't tolerate disobedience! Yes, we all modify the rules to suit ourselves when no one is looking. The frequency and degree we do that varies with every individual, but we all do that. Like playing a game of Monopoly we modify the rules. Everyone playing agrees on those modifications before the game begins. Laws are the "rules" that were agreed upon. 

 Are laws negotiable? Yes, they are through the proper channels of legislation. It is why we elect our representatives. They are to review the laws, suggest changes or modifications to those laws, and present their findings to the public. This works all the way from the town level on up to the federal level. Consider such mundane things as "codes" established. Things as simple as the height of your fence or even if you can have a fence. Laws are usually presented to favor someone or some group of someone's. The intent being to obtain compliance by means of penalty. Remove the penalty, the law is ineffective. The result is chaos. You can't play the game without agreeing on the rules.

 The government insists we should follow the science. These are the facts, tried and tested. Compliance is mandatory. You will be injected with vaccines for your own good! We need to follow the science! Science and science alone rules the world, it is the only thing. But when it comes to law, a holistic approach should be applied. 

A healthy respect

 What's wrong with this world? It's a question I hear asked often enough. Having given it some thought I have decided a big part of it is a lack of a healthy respect. I thought it is a healthy respect that has gotten me this far in life without significant trauma. I have to attribute a portion of that to simple blind luck but whatever trauma I experienced I did bring upon myself. Still, having a healthy respect for others and what they may or may do has served me well. 

 Respect is much talked about these days. I think the meaning of that has been altered over the years. It certainly doesn't mean what it did when I was a kid. Respect was something you gave in an act of preservation. That is to say, if you were wise. When you disrespected others, you were called a real wise guy! In that context, not a good thing at all. Today respect is a demand. What they really want however is obedience. That is where the wheels have come off the track. Respecting others isn't always agreeing with them or supporting their causes. Respect doesn't mean I have to adopt your ways. Respect is understanding your feelings and responding accordingly. 

 Now the phrase a healthy respect was commonly used. The reason is quite obvious. It was unhealthy to disrespect others. It was unhealthy not just in a physical way, although that was an option back in the day, but in a mental way as well. It spoke to your character. The brash, outspoken, and disrespectful folks were not admired as some sort of cultural heroes. No, quite the opposite in fact, brutish, boorish and ignorant were the adjectives most often applied. 

 It is respect that serves to form our morals. That is the purpose. You can't be immoral and treat others unjustly while respecting them. Doesn't work that way. That isn't to say you have to kowtow to others just show a healthy respect for their traditions, customs and thoughts. Respect shouldn't leave you defenseless. That is what many think it should be today. I can say whatever I like, and you can't do anything about that. If you counter their opinion the typical response will be, you're disrespecting me. That's the part I'm talking about. I shouldn't defend myself because to do so is showing disrespect. When I was a child, it was called talking back. You didn't do that, it was unhealthy. Was it fair? No, I'm not going to say it was, but it was a lesson learned. You learned how to direct your questions in a civil manner. Occasionally I could get Mom or Dad to relent, to see my point of view. It never worked by being disrespectful, yelling, screaming or throwing a fit. That would get you an unhealthy outcome. That's the healthy respect I'm thinking about.

 Respect and rights are not always the same thing. Respect is given, rights are earned. Each is dependent upon the other, however. You really can't have one without the other, along with a degree of risk. Yes, with risk comes reward, respect is one of those rewards. We all admire those who succeed. The risk is extending that healthy respect to others. It is sometimes misunderstood as a surrender. Then others get offended when they discover otherwise. At that point they usually want to apply their "rights" to force compliance on your part. It may be a Constitutional right, very popular in America, or simply human rights. Both are open to interpretation. Rights granted by man are really the only rights enforceable by man. Human rights are always subjective to authority. Best to have a healthy respect for that. And that is something I believe is not being taught, not being understood by far too many today. It really isn't all about you! 

 Perhaps this is a more succinct way of saying what I'm thinking about. "The Founding Fathers and their heirs wanted to establish and maintain a prosperous republic, yet they welcomed limitations on prosperity as much as they had welcomed restraints on power. This healthy respect for limits offers a way to recover the political and moral realism that contemporary Americans have lost." 

(Mark Malvasi)  

 It is limits that I'm thinking about. Call it restraint or respect, whatever you wish but you should exercise discretion. Have a healthy respect.  

Justice or Revenge

  I didn't write anything first thing this morning, an unusual thing for me, just wasn't thinking about anything in particular I suppose. Later on I ran across an article about the authorities having no plans to prosecute the woman accused of making false testimony about Emmett Till. Apparently a warrant had been issued for her arrest back in 1955 but had never been served. This woman, now in her eighties wrote some memoirs about the whole thing. As to who is telling the whole truth about everything is left to speculation. That this boy of just 14 was taken out of his Aunts house by two white men at gunpoint is undisputed. We all know what happened. And there is no justification for that, none, period. That those men were acquitted is certainly a travesty of justice if ever there was one. Their guilt is without question in my mind. They admitted to killing him! That all happened sixty-seven years ago. 

 The family of Emmett now wants the woman arrested and brought to trial for her involvement. She is, after all, the one that accused him and set the whole thing in motion. In her memoirs she claims to have tried to get her husband and brother-in-law to release Emmett Till when they brought him to her to identify. She claims she just couldn't make them stop and Emmett Til told them he was the one. Does any of that make a difference? It does not in my book. But I'm not certain she should be brought to trial today. The court of public opinion has long convicted her and any resemblance to a fair and unbiased trial is simply impossible. I think she is guilty too! But, what purpose could it serve at this point? It certainly isn't going to bring Emmett Till back. The men directly responsible for his death are long since dead. The story has been told and everyone agrees. It was an extreme miscarriage of justice allowed to take place in the deep south of 1955. It wasn't right. 

 I'm not attempting to offer any justification for any of this. I doubt that woman ever thought it would go that far. Still, it was her statements that lead to it. Has that haunted her, does she feel any remorse, any regret? I don't know, only she knows that answer. A warrant was issued for her arrest on the charge of kidnapping. She didn't go into that house and abduct him. She wasn't guilty of kidnapping in my opinion. 

 An accessory after the fact? I'm no lawyer but that sounds right. She wasn't present when the crime took place either. So, what is she guilty of? All the witnesses in that store at the time say he did whistle at her. She claims he touched her hand and arm and that is disputed. She told the story that was at least partially a lie if you believe that he didn't touch her. Still, no reason for anything that happened after that to have taken place. I'm just saying I don't think there is any evidence strong enough to convict her of anything criminal. 

 An old arrest warrant? A warrant is nothing more than a summons to be questioned. Yes, it takes a judge to issue one feeling it warrants investigation. But it isn't proof of anything. Bottom line for me is simple enough, can she get a fair, impartial, unbiased trial anywhere in America? The answer has to be no. So, what punishment to give to a woman in her eighties for words spoken sixty-seven years ago? Her identity is no secret to anyone. Whatever consequences she has brought upon herself has been hers to bear. At this point it is no longer justice, it is revenge. And that isn't what the judicial system is supposed to be about. You can't correct a wrong through revenge. Might make you feel better, but it won't change a thing.                 

My bad

 What about the war in Ukraine? You sure don't hear much about that anymore, do you? Just an occasional mention when something is blown up. It's an amazing thing how something like that just fades away in the reporting. Buried in the back of the newscast somewhere. Are we being distracted from that story? Makes me wonder just what is going on? The last I heard we were sending troops to bolster our presence, although we aren't going to put "boots" on the ground. How many billions are being spent on that war either directly or indirectly? 

 What about Hunter Bidens laptop? Denied at first but now confirmed that it is real. Where is that laptop now? Is anything being done at all? Sure don't hear anything about any of that. Strange isn't it? We don't know and won't be told what exactly is on it, a national secret? Must be in the same folder with information about UFO's and the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa's body. Meanwhile his daddy is selling oil to China through a company Hunter has ties too. But, we are being told, nothing to see here. 

 The push is on to sell electric vehicles. Gas prices have spiked, pretty convenient when you think about that. Of course, Tesla is being disparaged whether justly or unjustly I can't say, but we know the liberals hate Elon Musk, the rich white guy that is going to destroy twitter. Never mind that we are constantly told to conserve energy because we don't have sufficient infrastructure to run air conditioning without causing rolling blackouts. Don't worry about that, everyone on the block can plug in their cars every night no problem. Solar panels and windmills! Yeah that'll work. Those Lithium Ion batteries are going to save the planet. Well only if there is any planet left after mining it. To make one battery for a Tesla you dig up 500,000 lbs of the earths crust. And yes, fossil fuels power all that equipment used to dig it up and refine it. 

 Yes, it is a strange world we are living in alright. I heard a woman testifying to congress about trans people having babies, along with the non-binary ones. Our deputy assistant secretary of spent fuel and waste disposition in the office of nuclear energy says he is a non-binary drag queen that has a puppy fetish. Nothing to see there! That's perfectly normal. And that's not to mention Rachel Levine, a man that thinks he is a woman, an Admiral in the United States Public Health Commission holding the title of assistant secretary for health. Again, nothing unusual about any of that. But then I realize I'm just an old white guy stuck in his ways, responsible for everything that happened to minorities over the last four hundred years or so. My bad. 

 Don't smoke cigarettes, smoke pot instead. If you can't afford your medicine that's a shame. Overdose on drugs and we'll provide the antidote free! Legalize all forms of gambling and provide counseling services for problem gamblers. Legalize the terminating of children in the womb, might as well, people are going to do it anyway so we should make it safer. Hey, it's a choice, right?    

the relevance of time

  With all the talk about the new pictures from space provided by the Webb telescope I have been thinking about that. I haven't studied astrophysics and hold no degrees in anything but apparently there are plenty on Facebook. It's especially true of those on the New York Time posts, along with animal behavioral specialists, economics professors, ethicists and any number of specialties. I guess I should be all excited, thrilled, that President Biden unlocked the universe for us all. Truth is, I'm not all that excited about it. Much of what the "experts" talk about is just theory and I take it that way, interesting to think about. As far as I can tell the only difference between their theories and mine are they can express theirs in complex mathematical formulas. Certainly, looks impressive enough. When it comes to time and space Einstein is still the king. Still, when it comes right down to it his special theory of relativity has yet to be proven. All the evidence points to him being correct, but it hasn't been proven. I'd take his word over my own though. But, I have my own theory about such things too. 

 I find myself asking this question; what is the relevance of time? That is to say, what is time relative too? Einsteins famous equation E=MC2 doesn't address that. That equation is basically saying that energy and mass are equal. That's in its' simplest understanding anyway. That equation is the famous special relativity one. Interesting that it came first, it wasn't until years later Einstein defines what he calls space/time with his general theory of relativity. He never did reconcile one with the other and no one else has either. 

 Now the scientists are saying that we are seeing images that are 13 billion light years old. You have to admit that is a number you and I can't really comprehend. Astrophysics deals with really large numbers. Space is infinite. The number of stars in the sky, infinite. Galaxies, infinite. If it took that light 13 billion years to get here how long was it travelling to get where it was 13 billion light years ago? Now that's something to think about. Beyond human comprehension in my opinion, even Einstein was puzzled. 

 And what of those mysterious black holes? We are told by Einstein and almost all of science agree, that there is nothing faster than the speed of light. That's where space/time comes into the equation. Time moves faster the father away from the center of the earth you get and a little slower towards the center. It's true, relatively speaking. Our GPS satellites compensate for this in microseconds. But that time is relative to the surface of the earth. I know, it can bog your mind down thinking about that stuff. But we are told that the gravity in a black hole is so strong that nothing can escape it, not even light! That's why they are black. It's a theory anyway. 

 But what if that black hole is simply that, a hole. Then light and everything else would just pass through it. In engineering we would call that an orifice. An orifice will create a pressure drop on the exiting side of that orifice. Yup, a partial vacuum. Pressure and temperature drop dramatically. Eventually they stabilize on the other side. Thing is we can't look through those black holes to see what is on the other side. So, that means, at best, we can only see half the picture. Nothing escapes a black hole. And that leaves me with a question. Can we really expect to understand what we can't see? And that, that is where God and creation enters into the whole thing. 

 So, for me I'm saying it is all very fascinating, interesting and certainly may prove to be of some benefit to man. I don't believe it is anything we will ever understand, not on this earth anyway. Perhaps in whatever afterlife there is, whatever form your energy assumes after death will enable that ability. The Bible tells us that the love of God surpasses all understanding. I believe that is exactly what it is talking about. Time is relevant to what? In the infinite, time has no relevance, other than as a marker, a way to look back, it is not a method to look ahead. Nothing escapes a black hole but where does it go? No one can answer that. Time is always in the past. Theory holds that time will continue forever. Forever as related to what? Relative to what? 

 Remember when you were a kid or had kids of your own? Remember when you would say, why. Remember your kids asking you why? You shouldn't do this, or you should do that, why? Buy why? Frustrating wasn't it. All the math, all the observation, all the theories and postulations and still no answer why. Tina Turner asked, what's love got to do with it. I'm asking what's time got to do with it? Look back as far as you like you won't see tomorrow. If you did see tomorrow how long did it take to get here? Then it isn't really tomorrow, is it? Is that what is on the other side of those black holes? I don't think we will ever know that answer. 

Transparent

  I heard on the news this morning that the entire footage of the Uvalde school shooting has been released. Well, leaked is the word used but the entire video can be seen. I googled it and it was readily available. On the news the parents of those students were quite upset as they had requested to see all the footage and have been denied. I believe they are completely justified in that outrage. Eight two minutes of surveillance video in total. 

 I believe releasing this footage to the general public is wrong. My reasoning is simple enough, it isn't entertainment! The only people that need to see this are those directly affected and those on a jury. What purpose does the release of this footage serve other than to serve as a legal record of what transpired. Posting this video to the internet, for the curiosity, for the amusement, or for perceived profit of anyone or any entity is plain wrong! I'm all for transparency, let every second of that footage be scrutinized. That scrutiny should serve the cause of justice, not as an entertainment. Those that need to see the footage should certainly see the footage. I'm just saying John Q Public doesn't need to see it. 

  I will not be watching that footage. I already know the result, the ending. I expect a "page view" will be recorded simply because I searched for that video. If I knew how I would remove that altogether, don't count me in on that morbid fascination. Make no mistake about it, this video was released in the interest of profit in some fashion. It has nothing to do with transparency, justice, or freedom! It serves a singular purpose, garnering views. The whole, look at me thing. Did they get your attention? Are you upset? That's the intent, the purpose. It's working too, I'm writing about it aren't I? Yes, and that is what this is all about. The "dreaded" influence that the mainstream media and political pundits are so concerned with these days. If it isn't Russians attempting to influence us, it is Elon Musk or some other rich people. I'm being "influenced." We used to call that being persuaded. Persuaded however implies something more subtle that influence. Being persuaded implies a surrender, whereas influenced implies you made the choice. Yes, it's a subtle thing, the power of words and suggestion. Transparency or exploitation? For me the truth is quite transparent. This is about profit in some fashion, nothing to do with justice.       

finding Phineas

  I have enjoyed searching the family tree over the years. I'm still undecided what to do with that information other than hand it down. I have in mind now to begin posting stories about my ancestors to this blog. It's my feeling they may be more widely read and enjoyed in that way. They say what goes on the web stays on the web, forever. I do know that Google sometimes displays my blog in response to a query. An example is the Dugan Man. I type that in the search block and a picture of me appears along with the address to my blog. Kinda a cool thing, published without publishing. Recently I have been assembling what information I have about my third great grandfather, Phineas Terry. It's a name I heard as a child, probably remembered because it is unusual. Apparently not so unusual in years past though and had somewhat of a reemergence with Phineas and Ferb. I've never watched that cartoon myself but have heard of it. Anyway, my Phineas was born in 1821 in Chester, New Jersey. 

 His father was Caleb Terry born in 1780 who married Mary Katherine Morris of Morristown, New Jersey. On the third of February in 1836 Phineas was indentured to a man named John Reeves. I have the document that was signed by his father, John Reeves and Phineas setting the terms of that indenture. It was for a period of five years. He was to learn the trade of Cordwinder (shoemaker) and receive $6.50 every three months. In exchange he had to do as the "master" instructed. He wasn't allowed to frequent ale houses, play cards or throw dice, tell any secrets about the trade, leave only when permitted by the master, and no dating or getting married! He completed this indenture on the third of February in 1841. Five years to the date! On July the sixteenth 1842 he marries Jerusha A Bishop. In April of 1843 he has a son, James Buckley Terry. For whatever reason he decides to go on a whaling voyage. He signs on the ship Martha sailing out of Sag Harbor, New York. The captain of the ship is Luther D Cook. The voyage would last from September of 1844 until April of 1847. By all accounts it was a success. But my great grandmother in an interview with the local paper reported that his family disapproved of that venture and Phineas never went to sea again. I have a digital clipping of that interview. Over the next nine years he will have three more sons and two daughters. His last-born son is named Phineas. Jershua, his wife would pass away just four years later in 1860. 

 His son James, his first born would become my second great grandfather marrying Agnes V King. James would go on to serve in the 127th New York Volunteers during the civil war. I have the belt and buckle that belonged to James during the war. James survived the war. Phinneas's father Caleb had passed in 1858 before the war. If any of his other sons served in that war, I don't know about it, yet. But Phineas would remarry in 1883 at the age of 62. He married Phebe Kate Lester. He would pass just seven years later at the age of 69. 

 That is all I know about great, great, great grandfather Phineas. I do have that document he signed 186 years ago as testimony. What will become of that document in the future? It's my hope that it is preserved in some way, held in trust so to speak. It is possible that Phineas is a direct descendant of one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence. Yes, it could very well be and then I'm a descendant as well. It goes back to his grandmother, Mary Katherine Morris (Terry) My great grandmother in that interview casually mentions that she is related to Robert Morris, one of the signers. She incorrectly states that Morristown New Jersey was named after him. Morristown New Jersey is actually named after Lewis Morris, one time provincial governor of New Jersey. Lewis also signed that declaration. Could it be they are brothers? It's a puzzle I've yet to solve. It could be simple coincidence as well. What is known for a fact is that both Robert and Lewis Morris are signers of the declaration of independence. Mary Katherine Morris was from Morristown New Jersey. Family lore says that Mary Morris was a descendant or relative of Robert Morris.

 Hope some of this was interesting to you. Being my ancestors I have an interest. It is interesting to note that when speaking of third great grandparents we will all have at least 32 of them. You know your parents have four, grandparents have eight, and so on. So, yes, you will have at least 32 third great grandparents, maybe more if you start counting second marriages. A lot of avenues to explore. You just never know who you might find.      

restraint

 When I was growing up you were concerned with the law. The long arm of the law would reach out and get you. The law was the law. Posted signs were enforced as well. An almost forgotten band, the Five Man Electrical Band, had a hit song about signs. Signs, signs, everywhere a sign, do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign. And at that time most people were obeying the signs. But it was the beginning of the "revolution" (1971) when that record was released. Not really, the hippies had been rebelling for a while, dropping out, tuning in, and living free. Freedom to do as you pleased, with who you pleased and how you pleased. Communes were formed and communes soon collapsed. Most communes collapsed for a very basic reason. There were a very few willing to work, while there were a lot willing to just "hang out." The "redistribution" of wealth, the concept that everyone owns an equal share quickly ran into issues. It wasn't cool man! 

 Today the most common thing I hear regarding the law, and signs, is, are they constitutional? In the city of Baltimore they have what are called squeegee kids. They gather at the street corners and wash windshields for tips. There is an actual ordinance against this practice. The Police do not enforce that ordinance. These "workers" as the news often call them are often aggressive, threatening and cause vehicle damage if you refuse to have them wash your window. When the authorities were questioned by the media about not enforcing the ordinance the response was, we need to ensure that it is constitutional. Well, the founding fathers didn't think about squeegee kids! 

 The Constitution establishes fundamental law. It does not, nor was it ever intended to delineate every action that is acceptable, or not acceptable. That is the very reason the Supreme Court issues an opinion on the constitutionality of legislation. In the case of squeegee kids, does the constitution grant them an absolute right to be on the street corners? Do these people have a right to solicit their services on public highways? You could argue that they do. You could also argue the motorist has an absolute right to be on those same highways and be unmolested. So, what is the answer? 

 The answer lies in setting a boundary. Yes, what we call legislation. We legislate by representation. Seems pretty obvious when put that way doesn't it? We elect, appoint, or otherwise hire people to represent our opinion on governance. Yes, the job of the government is to "govern" to restrict the actions of others in the interest of the common good. Do we really need the Supreme Court to issue an opinion on every piece of legislation written? It is estimated that every year 5000 cases are presented to the Supreme Court for consideration. The court will decide what ones will be heard. It takes a consensus of at least four judges for a case to be added to the docket. Remember the Supreme Court is the court of last resort. Their opinion is the final say! Their opinion cannot be appealed.

 When you set a boundary, you are establishing the limits. The limit on freedom to be exact. Yes, even freedom has to be limited. The evidence of that could be seen in those communes. There are those in the community that will not operate within the boundaries unless the boundaries are well defined and enforced. That is just a simple truth, a realty as old as the earth itself. 

 Our Constitution begins with the preamble, "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." That is the purpose of the Constitution. 

 What is unique about it? We the People, the equal representation of every citizen in the governance of the nation. The power resides with the people, not with the "government." When the Supreme Court issues an opinion on the constitutionality of any piece of legislation it is weighed against those standards. The Constitution itself is mostly concerned with how the government operates. What the government can do and what it can't do.  The bottom line is simple enough though, We the People get to say what the government can do! 

 The only issue being self-governance. Yes, also called being responsible, mature, unselfish and concerned for the common good. It involves self-denial. It involves staying within the boundaries. It isn't simply hoisting a flag. It is defending that flag at the cost of your own life, if necessary. I see a lot of flags these days. Virtue signaling. But the flags change daily, there is no standard. And without a standard, one that is enforced, there can be no peace, and no freedom. Freedom is achieved by restraint. 

sole responsibility

 The only past I am responsible for is my own. Even then a small portion of that past was beyond my control until I reached the age of majority. A term I find curious as once I turned eighteen, I was still only one person, hardly a majority. But I was responsible for the choices I made, legally responsible. Isn't that what that majority is really concerned with, legal responsibility. It sure is, a legal remedy may be sought by anyone against you for any conceived wrongdoings or violations of the law. What we often call, justice. Justice is the righting of a wrong. Well except the reality is you can't undo what has been done only punish the wrongdoer. 

 Today it would appear many would seek justice, a remedy from those that are not responsible for the wrongdoing. In a sort of the "sins of the father" thing. “Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sin." That's from the Bible. So, I ask why I am being held responsible for what others, not my ancestors, did? Why must I assume responsibility for an entire race? My race, something I had absolutely no say so in, is being held responsible for actions taken over four hundred years ago. I am being asked to pay reparations for history. A legal remedy? No, a punishment for something I am not guilty of. Taking something of mine, forcing me to pay, is certainly a punishment. How can it be viewed otherwise? It isn't charity unless I provide that willingly of my own volition.

  In alcohol rehabilitation programs, most famously AA, one step is to ask forgiveness from those that you harmed. I suspect that is true in drug programs as well although I haven't read any of their pamphlet or promises. It just seems clear enough to me, I have to ask forgiveness for the things I did from the ones I did it to. I'm not asking for forgiveness for what my fourth great grandfather may or may not have said or done. I am not responsible for any of that. I also do not get to claim his accomplishments as my own either. Just because he was an around the world whaler, Captain of the ship, I can make no claim to that title. If my distant ancestor were some notorious criminal or serial killer, I certainly wouldn't be claiming that. We do attempt to claim whatever we feel will be of benefit to us though, isn't that funny how that works? Same reason many today want to make claims against the past. A past that may or may not be theirs to claim in the first place. 

 I consider myself a lucky man. I have no one to ask forgiveness from. That isn't to say I haven't made some bad choices, caused some injury to others in the past. I have done that. Do I require forgiveness from anyone for any of that? No, I don't feel like I do. I feel like whatever transpired in the past was a mutual exchange. Just because the deal went sour isn't an indication of wrongdoing. So, I ask no one for forgiveness and I ask no one for justice or a remedy. There isn't anyone that owes me a thing. Is it luck, a birthright? No, it is very simple really. Just accept what is given with a grateful heart. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed. The past owes you nothing. That's easy to understand too, the past is already spent, you ain't getting it back. If you are lucky your investment in the past will pay dividends in the future. Things is, you can't sue for that, it was your investment not mine, or my daddy's or granddaddies. I am solely responsible.      

detriments or attributes?

 Are our mistakes now attributes? It seems that way to me at times listening to these politicians. A lady running for Governor of Maryland begins her pitch with, when I was nineteen, I was pregnant and became a single mother. She goes on to list her accomplishments since that time, an impressive list and something to be proud of. But the thing that stuck out was the admission of her pregnancy and being a single mother. Is that now an attribute? 

 Now I realize we all make mistakes. I also understand she overcame that handicap, it was a handicap wasn't it, to become a success. She is to be commended for that. It is just that I'm getting confused by all of this. I begin by listing all my mistakes, my errors in judgement, and use those as accolades? I remember a time when that wouldn't have been mentioned. Your political opponent may have used that information, but you certainly wouldn't go bragging about that. Wasn't that many years ago even your opponent wouldn't have used that particular indiscretion on your part to attack you. 

 I understand the whole build up, encourage, and provide support thing. Forgiveness and understanding. Yes, we all deserve that, we should all receive that. It's just that I don't believe you should use your past indiscretions, misdeeds or outright criminal acts as attributes! It is almost like the more of that you can list, the better it makes you. We have taken to calling that experience. It is also an attribute these days to advertise your sexual preferences. The more deviant they are, the better it is for you. That's because we are being told we must accept that as normal and natural. 

 A man that thinks he is a woman, and dresses like a woman, is now the Admiral of the Public Health Services. This is being promoted as momentous and historic. Prior to 2007 the World Health Organization classified transgenderism as a disorder! Yes, it was a treatable mental issue. Yet today it is supposed to be considered normal, no issue with that. In fact, it is to be considered an attribute! Fact is we are being encouraged to embrace this whole LGBQT+ "community" as perfectly normal behaviors to be celebrated. We even have a whole month of the year dedicated to just that! A current gallop poll says about 7% of Americans identify with that community, up from previous years. What a surprise that is when, everyone is doing it and it is the "cool" thing to do. Same reason I did things at five. 

 What we are really witnessing is a shift in the moral fabric of America. It isn't isolated to America though; it is a global thing. Perhaps that has something to do with modern technologies, the world is a much smaller place, and we are all exposed to all manner of behaviors, customs and traditions. Hey, everybody is doing it! That's what I'm hearing all the time. The same excuse I attempted to use when I was five years old, everybody else was doing it. Thing is I was told, you should know better, latter on I was told, you know better, and the third time I was punished for my wrongdoing. I didn't get to brag about having done that previously and learned how to do it better! It didn't make me a hero because I overcame my mistakes. It simply made me a bit wiser. The hope was no one ever found out how stupid or silly I had been. I sure wasn't telling anyone. 

 It all boils down to a simple thing in my opinion. I'm going to invoke some of my Christian belief here. There is a story in the Bible about this woman, reputed to be a harlot, washing the feet of Jesus. He tells her, Go and sin no more. He didn't say keep on sinning and I'll keep on forgiving. He didn't say, go tell everyone of your sins and insist they forgive you. No, the message was, don't do it! And that's what I'm saying the message should be. Don't do that stuff in the first place! That is what we should be teaching our children.