Wednesday, September 30, 2020
the things we do
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Good Memories
Monday, September 28, 2020
looking back
Sunday, September 27, 2020
this time
Saturday, September 26, 2020
living in the past
Friday, September 25, 2020
the way it goes
Thursday, September 24, 2020
finding answers
Wednesday, September 23, 2020
for the children
Tuesday, September 22, 2020
milestones and millstones
Monday, September 21, 2020
He shall
Sunday, September 20, 2020
what I'm seeing
Saturday, September 19, 2020
sorting it out
Friday, September 18, 2020
not their fault
Victims and survivors. Seems like society today is dividing itself along those lines. Must be the new norm I keep hearing about. In reading comments left by others it is a common theme of defense. When called out or questioned about their choices that is becoming the go to explanation. They are either a victim of something or a survivor, although surviving what isn't always clear. That leaves me somewhere in the middle as I make no claims to either. I've had misfortunes, bad luck, and been taken advantage of. I wasn't born into wealth or fame. There have been opportunities missed and doors closed to me. I haven't been a victim however, not in the sense of some grievous injury, no it's just like the saying, *hit happens. And after that happens and I make it through I don't think of myself as a survivor, someone who made it through some monumental struggle to survive, to live! Nah, I just did the best I could at the time. Sometimes I had help, sometimes I had to go it alone. As far as surviving, Hank Williams taught me about that, we're not going to get out of this life alive, and that is just a simple fact. Get used to that idea. The thing about victims and survivors is both groups feel entitled. The victims feeling they should be compensated in some fashion, and the survivors, rewarded. Well, the fact of the matter is you pretty much get what you earn this world. That has little to do with what you feel you deserve. Understanding that is the first step to finding that elusive state we call happiness. If you go through life expecting others to give you what you feel you deserve, you'll be disappointed. It's also true if you expect to be compensated or rewarded according to your own measure. Ever hear of a victim feeling they were adequately compensated? No, they may claim to be a survivor though, isn't that strange? It's how it works though. And survivors are to be admired, praised and shown empathy for whatever they fell victim too. I just see all of that as a means of placing the blame. Unwilling or unable to take responsibility for their own actions, those folks need to blame someone or something. It's not my fault. That is where every victim and survivor begins the conversation. I was handed an injustice but I survived it. It was never any fault of theirs. They were either born into the situation or forced into the situation. Never is either action the result of their own choices. Hence they are either victims or survivors. Things happen or sometimes we are just plain unlucky. But I do believe the majority of the time, whatever and wherever we find ourselves it is a result of our own actions. Might happen almost immediately, or take years but in the end we are subject to the choices we made. I can't place blame for that on anyone but myself. If I allowed myself to be persuaded, allowed myself to be convinced, or allowed myself to justify some bad decisions, that's on me, no one else. I'm not saying I'm always happy with myself, always satisfied that I did my best, but I'm not blaming anyone or anything. I do not expect compensation or reward. I do expect to get what I earned. What that is I negotiate in advance when it comes to monetary compensation. As for personal compensation you have to take what you get. You don't get to define that. That's the part about understanding your worth. Your idea of that, and others idea of that, are most often at odds with one another. You have to remember, to understand, you set your worth, not others. Do not compare that to what others may tell you to the contrary. That's what these victims and survivors are doing. They are trying to convince you that they are exceptions and should receive special treatment. The objective being a gain for themselves! They will even try to make you feel inferior to them unless you give them that recognition! Victims and survivors. Not their fault.
Thursday, September 17, 2020
what it is
Look, I just gotta say it, we need to start calling things what they are. Lately some have taken to calling looting and riots, protesting. They are not, it is looting and rioting! I've been talking about this for a while. I think for me it first started when they tried to call abortion, health care. Health care is not killing babies! It is first degree, premeditated murder, that's what it is. You can add all the what ifs' and butts' you like, it doesn't change the procedure, the actual act being performed. It is premeditated, indeed a scheduled event, the termination of a life, an execution. That's what it is. Now I keep hearing "peaceful protests" to describe the burning, looting and destruction of property. Attorney General Barr has suggested those engaging in such should be charged with sedition. I agree. Sedition is conduct or speech inciting people to rebel against the authority of a state. I'd say burning down police stations qualify. But I'm hearing some, like the New York Times, trying to defend that as "peaceful protests." No, it's sedition! We hear a lot about racism. What is racism? It is the belief that peoples behaviors are determined by their racial identity. What it really is, is perception. Cultural perception to be more precise. All white people are like this and all black people are like that and Asians are like this, etc. It's all about culture and perception. What we are seeing in America today isn't racism, it is perception. Some is right, some is completely wrong. What is at the heart of it all? Correcting economic disparity is often cited as the remedy. If we spend enough money, distribute enough money, racism will just disappear. Is that correct? That is what is being promoted. But if that where the case, if everyone that feels they are economically disadvantaged regardless of their racial identity, where given more money would that erase feelings? No, it would not. What it would do, given time, is change culture. Cultural perceptions would most certainly change, but not right away, it would take several generations. The reason is obvious enough if you just think about it for a minute. Given money today would you change your habits, you likes and dislikes overnight? Like winning the lottery would that really change who you are? Statistics suggest that wouldn't be the case, as 70% of those winning the lottery go broke. Why? Because they just indulge their every want, they live to excess. Take a look at the celebrities and sports figures as examples. What perception do we little people have of them and their lifestyle? What is the remedy? Does racism exist? Of course it does and it always will. Why, because you can't really change what people see. When people see something, anything, that is different there will be a judgement made. That judgement will hinge upon past experiences, or if there is no past experience at all, upon the individuals temperament. We all have a natural instinct to survive. That survival is based on determining the threat posed. It's the response some people have to something as innocuous as a clown. Small children are often scared by those. It is just the perception of danger. The image we present reinforces perception. It makes no difference what race you are in that regard. If you see a man dressed as a cowboy you will make certain assumptions based on that. Will it make a difference if he is white, black or something else? No, not really, he will still be viewed as a cowboy. If you see someone dressed like a hard core biker does the color of their skin matter? You see two men, one is in a suit and tie and the other is wearing gang attire, which one do you approach? Depends upon how you are dressed doesn't it? Yeah, birds of a feather and all that. Same as racism, a belief based in perception. Now I mention all of that because of another perception, in actuality a misconception about these rioters and looters. They are not all black people. Yet, that is the perception most people have and I have to ask why that is? Is that due to racism? The easy answer is yes, that's the only reason for that. But that isn't the truth of the matter at all. You have this organization, it's nothing new, it's been around awhile, about five years or so. It was founded by three women. It is a globally recognized organization. Black Lives Matter. Now whether you agree with their agenda or not isn't the question here. It was founded and organized in the hope of achieving racial equality and justice. But today, that organization has been highjacked. It has been hijacked by those that would use the power of that organization for personal gain. Let's go to the obvious hijackers, white people. Yes, those white people that have joined in with the rioting, the looting, the destruction of property, standing in solidarity. Why are they there? Many are being paid to be there. Also the reason they are being bailed out of jail. When this passes, and it will pass, will they still be there, standing with their black brothers? History would suggest otherwise, they will scatter like seeds in the wind. But the objective will have been met, Black Lives Matter is now associated with lawlessness! The real question to be answered is, who is behind all of this? Who stands to gain from the destruction of Black Lives Matter? Who wants to grab power, at any cost, and impose their will upon the people? As strange as it seems it is people that hold the same ideology as Black Lives Matter. Both are avowed Marxists! Yes, the agenda of Black Lives Matter is Marxism for the United States of America. That's what their founding members say and I can only take their word for it. I will say I support our Republic and don't want anything to do with Marxism regardless of your race, creed, or nationality. I will leave it at that. Black Lives Matter has a stated goal of achieving a Marxist state. That is the end game here. You can call it by many names, describe it in many different fashions. But call it what it is, a political movement. Marxism is communism. Karl Marx said: The theory of communism may be summed up in one sentence: Abolish all private property. The truth is, Black Lives Matter has little to do with Black Lives and everything to do with a political movement. It really doesn't matter what color your skin is when it comes to Marxism. Do Black Lives Matter? Yes, of course they do. The question really should be, do Black Lives support communism? The rest of it is all a distraction, a means to a end. Wake up people.
Wednesday, September 16, 2020
the truth of it
I woke up with that on my mind. As long as she has been around she still only knows her part of the story. It's that way with all of us. I'm certain there are parts she will never tell, I have parts I leave out as well. But I believe the things we are willing to share will vary over the years. Over time we will let go of some things, accepting the fact that we are human after all and prone to making mistakes. Still we all build a façade around ourselves and protect that as best we can. It's not a bad thing, not everything need be shown. I do believe there are things that should remain between you and your god. You are the only ones that understand the full context, explaining it to others can be futile at times. We are the caretakers of our memories, no one else has that authority. I have thought of that over the years. I would write all my secrets down if there were some assurance, some guarantee, that no one that had known me personally would ever read them. If they did that would tarnish the façade? No, only through the impartiality of anonymity could such secrets be revealed. And that really isn't impartial as a judgement about your character will be rendered based on those secrets. Disgraced? That is what most people will think. It happens all the time when we find out something about those we admired, or are related to in some fashion, no matter how remote. Well, that is unless enough time has elapsed then it may be alright. We will associate ourselves with someone of fame, or infamy, given enough time.
I was just thinking I have known my mother for 67 years and there is much I don't know. There is much she doesn't know about me too. It's an amazing thing really how we can live in a little world of our own, only allowing others a glimpse every now and again. It's true some are far more open than others. although only they know the degree to which that really is. Truth is an elusive thing, where does the truth lie? I believe it is somewhere between life and death. Some find it early, others late, some not at all. The truth is found within ourselves, within our memories. I'm thinking not all truth needs to be shared. We should hold onto some truth, keep it all to ourselves. Happiness resides in the acceptance of truth. I guess Mom being 91 today has just made me think a little more about that sort of stuff. I do wonder what her truth is, and if she will ever share that. I wonder too if she already has and I just wasn't listening. Have I been paying attention?
Well whatever the case is I wish her a Happy Birthday and am thankful that I can. She was born in 1929, I was born in 1953, and here we are in the 21st century together. I had hoped to go visit with her for her birthday this year but that's not happening. Coronavirus! A pandemic. Well there will be next year, another year always comes we just don't know what it will bring with it. Hopefully it brings both of us along for the ride. But you never know, and that is the truth of it.
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
take a closer look
Monday, September 14, 2020
a basic lesson
In a larger sense I am remembering when childhood was like that, not just for me, but all the other kids I grew up with. Yes our dogs ran free and so did we, to an extent. There were boundaries set, depending upon our maturity level and age. I do remember those boundaries expanding as I grew older. At first I wasn't to leave the yard. There was no fence, I wasn't under watch, I was just told what that limit was. It was my responsibility to obey those restrictions. Any infraction would be met with a tightening of the restrictions! I couldn't go outside at all! Over time I could roam the neighborhood, the woods behind my home, and eventually the entire town was open to me. All that was required of me was to be home "on time. " That meant suppertime, about 5 o'clock, unless I called and asked permission to do otherwise. Sometimes I would call, no one would answer, and that just meant, get home. No answering machine, no voice mail, none of that. If you didn't actually speak to a person on that phone, get your butt home!
There were dangers out there in the world and I was aware of that. The biggest danger wasn't from strangers though, there weren't that many strangers around, the danger was in my own choices. I was expected to make good choices. Allowed to have a BB gun when I was ten or maybe younger, I was expected to use that responsibly. I had been taught basic gun safety. Never bring that BB gun in the house while it is loaded. Dad would pick it up and shake it sometimes just to see if you were paying attention. Don't point that gun at anything you don't intend to shoot! Don't run with it! And don't shoot at the birds. Violate any of those rules, the gun disappears never to be seen again. That happened to me just once after Mom saw me shooting at a Robin. Never saw that BB gun again. I did get another one at a later time. There was the ocean and the bay. Those bodies of water were a danger as well. Drowning was a real possibility it you were careless and did something stupid. I can't say I was aware of any of that at the time but now I realize what lesson I was taught. The biggest dangers in life hinge upon the choices you make. Freedom comes with responsibility. That was the lesson. Freedom was earned, not granted was another part of that. Demonstrate you can be trusted to make sound decisions and you will be rewarded. One mistake could set you back a few days or a few weeks. We called that being grounded. No longer could you fly free. Happened to me a few times, for being stupid. It was lessons in risk and reward. Didn't take me that long to figure out that some things, even when being called names, just weren't worth the risk. What's a matter, you chicken? I'd answer, no I'm not a chicken, I'm smarter than that. Wasn't always true though, sometimes I was as dumb as a chicken.
I wonder if there are any places in America like that anymore? Surely there must be areas where that lifestyle continues. Perhaps it is out in the midwest, I've never been there. Generations living on the farm? Is that just a television story or do they really exist. According to the main stream media all that is disappearing, but I wonder. I am certain the things children are exposed to these days far exceed what I was exposed too. Many subjects just weren't talked about at all. I don't think that is a bad thing, although the narrative today is quite the opposite. Yeah, Dr. Spock, the baby doctor one, said don't spank your children. We are beginning to see how that worked out. He was talking about raising the generation now called baby boomers. A portion of those baby boomers became the hippies and freaks, those protesting the war, those dropping out and dropping in. I am a part of that generation although my parents were definitely not adherents to any Dr. Spock method of child rearing. I got spanked, I got yelled at, I got bullied and cajoled! I also had a wonderful childhood. I wasn't protesting anything having learned you pretty much get what you earn. Complaining about things didn't get you much.
Every generation wants better for their children. That's a given. The further we get from our childhood, the more we travel forward, the more we look back. Then we want to bring back that childhood, and give it to our own children, but better. We begin to eliminate those things that caused us trouble. I believe we all do that to a degree. It's a balance between what you took from your childhood as valuable lessons and what you took as punishment. You want to pass the lessons on, not the punishment. Problem being, sometimes the punishment is the lesson. But I'm thinking an important lesson is being lost on todays children. That lesson is a basic one. Freedom is earned, not granted.
Sunday, September 13, 2020
in the pursuit
Yesterday I posted what I call a "quote." These quotes are really just one liners I create every now and again to express what I'm thinking about. I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to call them pearls of wisdom, more like nuggets, chicken nuggets, not golden ones. But yesterday I said, "Do not project an image and then complain about what people see." That came to mind after talking to my wife a bit about current events and what's happening in the world in general. We were talking about all the "racist" accusations and rhetoric going on. I was saying that I don't believe there are many hard core racists in America. Yes, there are some that still hold prejudices against entire races of people based solely on their skin tone. It's difficult for me to grasp that concept but I'm aware that it is a thing, a learned reaction. As I said, a difficult thing for me to understand. But anyway, I do believe that the majority of us, and by us I mean people in general, human beings, react to what we perceive. Just as was told in the story of the Emperors new clothes, we are conditioned to react that way. It's also the reason we tend to fear what we don't understand and why we are leery of strangers. It is in that I made that quote, "do not project an image and then complain about what people see." When we see others, the way they are dressed, we begin to make judgements about them. Yes, you do. Anyone trying to tell me otherwise I will not believe. You do. When that person speaks, the language they use, you begin to judge them further. Yes, you do. That's how people interact with one another. Their physical appearance is what we see first. An obvious statement wouldn't you say? Yes, it is obvious and anyone trying to deny they make a first judgement based on that is just not being truthful. The only one that wouldn't be, would be a blind person. It's human nature. Don't we all choose "fashion" that we believe will be appealing to others? Yes, we do. It is a balance between what we personally like and what what we believe others will perceive us to be. Each of us develop our own costume(s) based on any number of factors. Costumes and culture go hand in hand. What is the American costume? I'd have to say it was the Cowboy look. Isn't that the quintessential outfit that would get you immediately identified as an American? I can tell you this much, the United States Navy thought so. When we were given "liberty" to go ashore in foreign lands, if those foreign lands weren't all that hyped up about Americans, we were instructed to, try not to look American. No cowboy hats, boots, or jeans. Those were considered obvious give a ways. The color of your skin wasn't an issue when it came to that, just the way you dressed. You could make yourself a target by looking, American. Didn't have anything to do with race, rather nationality. So yesterday with that little quote I am trying to say just that. Don't put on a costume, or act a part, and then complain about what people see. Really it is like the old saying, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is probably a duck! Yes, it's a judgement call! Same with people. If you wear the costume you will be identified with the culture, as least initially you will be. Isn't that why you chose the costume in the first place? You want others to identify you in that way. That's what fashion is all about. When we make a fashion statement we want to draw attention to ourselves. We want to say, in a visual way, this is me. The expectation is others will judge you based on that fashion statement. That's why I say, don't complain when others do that. I know, it is all just so obvious. What I'm talking about is cultural identity. But what about societal identity? How do we identify ourselves within the society? Do we even get a choice in that? No, I don't believe we do. We are born into a society, at a certain level. We don't have a choice about that. In America the promise is that we can change that position in society. How? By doing the right things, making the right choices, by work, and to a certain degree luck. Independence is the watchword! Independence does mean, on your own. If you are expecting others to help, others to give you anything, you are not independent. You are, in fact, dependent. A society where everyone is equal, everyone born into the same circumstance, same societal position, does not exist in the world, never has, never will. It is a dream all in itself. Utopia is the word for that and it doesn't exist. Those wishing to control the society will promise you that, until they gain power. It is those people that will insist there shouldn't be classes. Everyone will be treated equally if only you grant them that power. You won't have to work for that, it will be granted. Then they become the ruling class and you become dependent upon them. You have surrendered your independence so you can be as deprived as everyone else. Everyone is equal alright, equally oppressed by the ruling class. In order to maintain a society you must have a common culture. What we are experiencing today is a cultural identity problem, that is creating chaos in the society. In America we should all try to act like Americans! Americans know that only hard work, preservice, and a belief in a higher power than themselves will bring true happiness to themselves and their progeny! Americans are engaged in the pursuit of Happiness. What does that mean? It means you are free to pursue your interests, to live your life the way you want, within the bounds of the society. In America those boundaries were first delineated in the Declaration of Independence. They haven't changed.
Saturday, September 12, 2020
as we live it
Perhaps the greatest gift one can give another person is a memory. We all want to be remembered in one way or another. We will be remembered by what we leave behind. The Egyptians built pyramids, left behind and certainly remembered. But the vast majority of physical and material things disappear with time. In fact there is a whole field of study devoted to finding those things again, it's called archeology. But memories, memories they say can last forever. The truth is they only last as long as the person carrying that memory, a memory is always in the first person. When they are otherwise, they are called stories. One of the reasons I write these memories of mine. The number of people I have first person memories with, as far as my childhood days, grow fewer each passing year. My youth is slowly turning into a story to be told by someone else. The biggest hope is that there will be someone left that cares enough to repeat those stories. That is what we call, legacy. It is what we left behind. And for many of us, I believe the majority in fact, it is also our heritage. My stories, a few dusty artifacts, and a collection of old photographs will be the inheritance of future generations, unless of course, I win the lottery. It is my feeling that my heritage has been left behind. That process began in 1971 when I stepped aboard that Long Island railroad train, heading west , to Ft. Hamilton in New York City. I was bound for the Navy, a destination that eventually wound up as a career. What I didn't realize was I was leaving my youth behind, the place of my inheritance becoming just a memory for me, stories to tell to others. My wife, my children, and whatever friends and acquaintances I enjoy these days know little of that time in my life. They only know what they have been told by me and a few brief encounters with my family. Heritage is the traditions, customs, and valued objects passed down from previous generations. But personal heritage is a bit more defined than that. That heritage is your memories, even when those memories have been polished with time to assume a luster they never really had. It is that heritage that we all wish to pass down. It is what has been called the roots of our raising. For me, my parents were raised in the same town where they were born, their parents before them where born there as well. There were roots there that could be followed and could lead you to an actual living person. Cousins, second cousins, in-laws and all the other branches were there. It wasn't that my parents followed any of those branches, but they were there. It was just a sense of belonging there. And then I left. I can't help but wonder about the heritage I have provided for my own children. When they were little we moved around, military brats they call them. Truth is they never lived on a Navy base, or any military base for that matter. They knew my job was, in the Navy, but I don't think it effected them all that much. I would be gone for months on end though, so it must have had some influence. Along about 1988 or so, the years escape me now, I moved them to Greensboro, Md. I had gotten assigned to a ship in Earle, New Jersey. Now being a boy from Long Island I had prejudices against New Jersey. The people there can't drive a car worth a crap and they are all rude people, and the crime, the crime in New Jersey is horrible. I knew I would be going to sea and so having them living in New Jersey was out of the question. My wife knew of the "eastern shore" of Maryland. We left the kids with her sister while we went and explored the area. I was immediately reminded of my own hometown without the beaches or the high cost of housing. We discovered Greensboro, population 2000, one stop light and an IGA. Seemed perfect and we have been here ever since. So I'd have to say that is the heritage my boys carry with them, although I have never asked. One son found his love on the internet and moved to upstate New York where he lives today. His brother is still here, the Mayor of Greensboro! And there is a story to tell. I would never have dreamed I would leave home only to bring Greensboro Maryland a new Mayor. It's been quite a winding road, as the Beatles may describe it. Now the grandkids are beginning their journeys. Mark is already off to college, living on his own in an apartment in Reistertown, Maryland. His own address, a milestone not unnoticed by myself. Morgan a senior this year and making her plans for college. Anxious to get out in the world and leave childhood behind. I remember the feeling. I have been blessed and fortunate indeed to have had both of them right here with me in Greensboro. Greensboro is there beginning and Grandpa has always been here! That will be their memory of growing up. My other granddaughter Shyann is also a senior this year. She hasn't shared her plans for the future just yet. But she lives in Oneonta New York a far larger city than Greensboro and I'm certain full of opportunities. She may very well remain there. Mark, I fear, will be forced by economics to leave Greensboro. Just as it was in the town I lived in as a child there isn't much opportunity for employment. You do have to look elsewhere. Morgan will face the same dilemma. As for me, I talk often of moving and perhaps I will one day. I severed my roots in 1971. It's not a bad thing or a good thing, it's just a thing. Something we call life. It's just life as we live it. It's best to go one day at a time, that's my experience.
Friday, September 11, 2020
the futility of history
I don't want to dwell on that this morning. I did go to dinner last night with my son and daughter in law. It was different for a couple of reasons. First off, it's the first time we have gone out since this plandemic disrupted our lives. We did get to eat inside, with social distancing from other diners of course. It did seem a bit strange and all the food was served on disposable products. But it was nice to get out. It was also the first time I can remember going out to dinner with my son and daughter in law without the grandkids being there. Mark is off to college and Morgan, now a senior in high school, had other plans. I joked with my son about getting used to this, now it will be just us old folks. I wondered if we shouldn't have tried to catch the "early bird" special for dinner.
The restaurant had the radio playing in the background, a little loud for all of us, and it was playing the current version of country music. I remarked to my son how I didn't really listen to the modern country and wondered about any new stars. Last I recall it was Zac Brown. I have no idea who is the popular band, guy, girl, or whatever combination they may have. Well I guess the best part is you don't have to ask, all these people will tell you their "affiliation" quickly enough. But, he listens to talk radio most of the time and had no idea either. When I told him I listened to the oldies station he remarked, those songs aren't that old, they are from the 1980's. My response to him was, 1980 was forty years ago! Yeah, you are getting old too. LOL, he did get a look on his face when I pointed that out and that his daughter will be 18 in eleven days. So, we changed the subject and started making plans for another get together, something for us old folks to do. We decided on taking a ferry ride across the Delaware bay. We can go as walk on passengers, a lot cheaper than taking the car, have lunch at the terminal in New Jersey, and then just ride back. It's an enjoyable few hours out on the bay without the expense of owning a boat.
I did wake up with all these thoughts in my mind. Nineteen years and so many changes. I did remember when my grandson told me his history class was harder than mine. He explained how much more history he had to learn than I did! Yeah well, I do remember when Kennedy was shot and to him that was a long time ago. It was, in fact, a different century! Think about that for a minute or two. My grandchildren were all born in the 21st century. Remember when you saw that logo, 20th Century Fox. Well, it's still called 20th Century Fox although the company that owns it is officially named 21st Century Fox. That happened back in 2013, but who knew? Disney owns the company now. And Fox means news, well depending on who you are talking to anyway.
There are 111 days between September 11 and December 31st. Those days will be filled with politics and holidays. And not necessarily in that order. There are eleven days until my granddaughters' birthday, as I mentioned, her 18th. Many of us are anxious for this year to be over, 2020 has certainly been memorable so far, for all the wrong reasons. You know they say hindsight is 2020. I'll be one of those happy when that is true. In watching the television program 2020 that doesn't appear to be what they are doing. Last time I watched their vision was certainly different than mine, at least as to the cause and effect of current events. Well, all things change over time. But 9/11/01 will remain with me as a focal point, a turning point in history, my Pearl harbor. I haven't forgotten, Those attacks will remain as a generational event, like a Pearl harbor. As the years go on the view will change with those that don't remember the event first hand. It has begun already if you listen carefully. Indeed look at who is being elected to office! In 1972, just 27 years after the surrender of the Japanese the Democratic party named Patsy Mink, a Japanese-American, for president of the United States! I recall many WW2 vets being quite upset by that! I was nineteen years old in 1972 and Pearl harbor did seem like a long time ago to me. But, talking with these veterans I quickly realized that, to them, it may as well been yesterday. And now, now I've lived long enough to understand that, unfortunately I do understand that sentiment. And in that I also understand the futility of history. You have to live it to understand it.
Thursday, September 10, 2020
Time will tell
I saw a bit of fall grass while cutting the lawn. It's the first sign of fall that I've noticed this year. Can the geese be far behind? I do enjoy the changing of the seasons although I don't always enjoy the seasons as much as I used to, still, it is a sign of all is well in the world. For me, climate change would be when the climate doesn't change. But I'm in a good mood this morning and will just leave that topic alone. I did see a few school buses out and about, another sign. I was reminded of all the years I would met the grandkids at the bus stop when they finished their days. Oh, those were good days for sure. Seems they always had something to tell, to share about the day. Yes there were days when they weren't too happy about those events as well, but left me amused anyway, even when I tried not to show that. Now Mark is off to college and Morgan is a senior driving herself to school, no picking her up at the bus stop, and the sharing is far more limited. So what is the fall season now? Preparing for the harshness of winter is the answer to that. Packing away the summer. And with all this coronavirus it hasn't been much of a summer. I haven't gone fishing, not even once. I could have just never got around to it. Something I have noticed, when you aren't in a hurry, time goes faster. It's a kind of cruel joke isn't it? You work to provide for yourself and raise a family. Then you look forward to retirement, you can just relax. And what happens? The clock speeds up and you are old, just like that! You're not so old you can't do stuff, just old enough to not be in a hurry and discover by not being in a hurry, you missed stuff. It's rather a paradox. This isn't the first year for this scenario, but this is the first year it has become obvious. Once again I realize the "kids" have grown up. I had sorta forgotten about that. I mean my own children having been gone, raising their families and all. Of course I was still busy being busy those days. I wasn't really paying attention I guess. Then I had the grandkids that kept me distracted. I was still going to work, kids in school, and life continued on. Sure it was a limited thing as far as the kids went but that wasn't a bad thing. The grandkids are wonderful, not doubt about that, in fact had I known grandkids were that great I would have had them first! But now, now all that is past. I guess some of this was brought on by my redecorating the bedroom. It was time for a fresh coat of paint and a bit of rearranging. It was taking all the pictures down that inspired this. I saw those fresh young faces in school pictures. The years printed in the corner of those pictures serving as a vehicle, was it really that long ago? It sure doesn't seem like it and I remember when they wore that particular outfit. Then picking and choosing what pictures to put back up, and what order to put them in. I have collected quite a number over the years, the walls were crowded with them. And not just photographs, no, there are the little things that wind up there over time. Construction paper cut-outs, little signs proclaiming the worlds greatest Grandpa, and dollar store figurines scattered about. I wouldn't call it clutter, rather collected memories. But it is time for a reset. A time to pick only the finest jewels to display and carefully pack the others away. Well, that's what grandparents do you know, grandparents are the keeper of memories. It is time, and time alone, that imparts meaning and sentiment into objects. The things that survive life and the living of it. The monetary value is not of importance, it is the sentiment that counts, a sentiment sealed with a memory. With the arrival of fall the holidays come to mind. They will soon be rushing at us all. Halloween has lost its' luster for me, no little children to be excited with. Halloween began losing that a few years back, when the safety concerns began to override the fun. And when the kids, even while trick or treating said, "that's enough" let's go home. When children tell you they have had enough fun, that means it wasn't that much fun to begin with. Thanksgiving will come and go in a huff. With family spread across the country like butter on bread their is no chance for us all to be together. That will have to relegated to those Hallmark movies. And Christmas, Christmas just isn't the same anymore, and for the same reason. We can't even be certain of seeing the grandkids on Christmas day this year. They have begun living independent lives. They have plans. And time goes on, ever faster it seems. You really do have to be "older" to understand that relationship. The thing that I find myself focusing on sometimes is the sudden stop! It isn't the stopping that worries me, it is packing for the journey. But I have decided it isn't what you take with you, it is what you leave behind. And what you leave behind only exists when the living hold onto that, and that is the concern. What part of me will survive? Will I hang on the wall, be tucked away in the attic, or just discarded completely? Only time will tell, I'll be listening.