Sunday, December 15, 2019

the best gift

 In thinking about my Christmas memories I don't recall ever being disappointed. I wonder if that was simply because I didn't expect much. It was the way I was raised. Now I had two brothers and a sister and we were all treated the same. I've heard of parents playing favorites but I can honestly say, mine didn't. We all got pretty much the same at Christmastime. It wasn't that we got a lot of stuff, it just seemed that way. Of course when you are trying to recall fifty plus years back an accurate count just isn't possible. The important thing is what we remember, not what was. Know what I mean? All I have are pleasant memories of Christmas morning as a child, Santa Claus always stopped at my house, and I always got gifts. There are ones I remember vividly, ones I remember wanting so badly, and there are many I have forgotten completely. My stocking was always full and presents under the tree. What more could you ask for? If there was a disappointment it was temporary.
 The truth is I only remember really wanting one thing, and that was when I was 15 or so. I wanted a String Ray bicycle because they were so cool. Yes I wanted that bicycle so I could be " Joe cool " and impress my friends. Yes, I got that bike, straight from the Sears and Roebuck catalogue. And yes, I thought I was cool. What the ultimate fate of that bicycle was I couldn't say. I got a drivers license a year or so later and that bike just wasn't cool anymore. Before that bicycle I'm certain I had made lists, sent letters to Santa, although I can't say I remember ever doing so. I don't remember when Santa went from a possibility to a pleasant memory. But, as I said, I was never disappointed. It's the greatest gift a parent can give their children, a great childhood.
  I'm certain there were times when I didn't get what I wanted but I always got what I needed. Now I realize the story is much better when  you can tell how tough you had it, how much you had to do without. Fact is, that isn't the way I remember it at all. The things denied me were things I really didn't need in the first place. There was a degree of practicality in every decision made at my house. It was a rare occasion when " luxuries " were purchased. And " luxuries " were things like designer clothing, expensive shoes, coats and the like. Sears and Roebuck, Montgomery Ward and J.C. Penny were my clothiers. Well, some clothing did come from Brills' store, if the need was more immediate. Brills' sold a lot of factory seconds, what we would call discount clothing these days. I never saw a thing wrong with them. My family never went to a restaurant to eat. The closest we got to that was getting a pizza from Ma Bergman or Sams' bar and grill. And that didn't happen often.
 Perhaps it was that upbringing that never left me disappointed because I simply didn't expect much. That is to say, I felt secure, I felt that I would get whatever I needed to have, but I didn't expect extra. Just because the other kids had one didn't mean I was getting one! Other than that bicycle I don't remember ever wanting something like that either. What I mean is, whatever was the cool thing at the time. Today it might be a cell phone or a video gaming platform. I'm thinking maybe it was hot wheels or something like that in my day. Honestly, I don't remember and that tells me a lot today. That's where wisdom resides, in your memories, in your past, and when you can apply that today, you understand.
 And so as Christmas approaches once again memories return. Christmas is the most sentimental of the holidays for me. I expect it is that way for most of us. Yes, I was raised in the Christian tradition and I'm fully aware of the real meaning of Christmas. We did receive the gift of the Christ child, the greatest gift of all time. I was taught as a child that it was Jesus's birthday. The wise men brought him gifts. I have many very fond, very comforting memories of celebrating Christmas at the church. When I was small it was the birthday party for Jesus, then I began to help with the decorating, help with the party. It was a great time. Santa Claus always arrived for Jesus's birthday party as well. There were gifts for all, there were Christmas carols sung. It was only after all was done, after years had passed and those memories dimmed that I began to understand. I'm trying to understand still. But I do know this, I had a great childhood, I've had great friends, a wonderful family, grandchildren and no end in sight! I'm not disappointed. Could be that I've never expected much, or it could be that I have received it all. A gift. And that's what Christmas is all about.      

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