Old friends and family carry common memories, that's why we miss them. Memories are meant to be shared not isolated in our mind. I have taken to writing them down, lest I forget. Those stories aren't that interesting to those that weren't there and so I don't publish them. I write to preserve them, keep them intact. Perhaps there will come a day when I need to be reminded, my memory refreshed and who better to do it than myself. All that is required is remembering how to read. Do you ever forget that? Yes I suppose that can happen, and it is a thought that scares me.
It's true that some of those old memories can entertain others, others that weren't there. I have found it is more the lack of context that entertains, than the event. It's the old, you have to have been there. Setting the scene, establishing the background would require an entire book. It would also require a far greater author or storyteller than myself. It is also true that a memory can't be shared with someone that doesn't share the memory. It's a bit of a paradox really. When your memories become stories, that is nostalgia. Nostalgia is the stuff you remember and enjoy. Nostalgia is commercially viable when it causes individuals to recall the events of the past. As I said a paradox of sorts, it is like going to different schools together! Shared experiences and memories when we weren't there to share them, that's nostalgia. Memories by proxy.
These thoughts came to me as I begin preparing for the holidays, for Christmas especially. Christmas is certainly the most sentimental time of the year, at least for me it is. I was fortunate to have had a wonderful childhood, with good friends and even better memories. I no longer live near any of my childhood friends. Years have gone by without me having had interaction with them beyond an occasional card or phone call. Social media has brought me a bit closer and I'm grateful for that. I have found that Facebook functions more as a time machine than a current connection. I say that because not having had interaction with those old friends over the years much context is missing, the little happenings, the nuances that fill our lives, are not there. Our conversations are more about what was than what is. The past is familiar territory and the present is strange. Trying to " catch up " with time is a daunting task. I question, is that is even possible?
It's all in the details. That's a common expression and one that holds much truth. When it comes to old friends it is the details that adds that context. It is also the reason is so difficult to " catch up " with one another. When we were friends, in daily contact with one another, we were aware of the details. We knew the backstory, that explained motivations. We grew together, adopting and rejecting actions and ideas. Sometimes influenced by those friends, sometimes acting contrary to their advice. But we knew of their triumphs, their defeats, and disappointments. We share common memories. Memories are always in the first person, even when they are shared. The proof of that is when you recall those old memories with your friends. Often that shared memory isn't played back to you exactly as you remembered. It has been edited. Two first person accounts of the same event seldom match exactly, although the outcome usually does. It's the details and motivation that differs.
Our memories allow us to live in the past if only for a brief time. When we are joined in that past the experience is heightened. There are times when everything is just as you remembered it to be. There are also times when surprises appear. Like finding a missing piece to a puzzle, when you didn't realize the piece was gone. Another detail added, motivation explained. The past is alive once again. It does take someone with that common memory to accomplish that. Visiting the past alone is a lonely experience. Perhaps that is why I write that past down, it's not as lonely when shared. Even if I am only sharing it with myself.
Tis' the season. Christmas does make me sentimental for old friends, family and old memories. For all the good times shared. Sentiment doesn't have to be a sadness, sentiment can be a celebration. At Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. The birth of hope for all mankind. The old testament is in the past and the new begins. I'll be remembering my old friends and family throughout this season and beyond. A season of hope, of reflection. " Here we are as in olden days, Happy golden days of yore, Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more " If not in our dreams , in our common memories. Old friends and family are the depository of our sentiments. Let us celebrate that.
It's true that some of those old memories can entertain others, others that weren't there. I have found it is more the lack of context that entertains, than the event. It's the old, you have to have been there. Setting the scene, establishing the background would require an entire book. It would also require a far greater author or storyteller than myself. It is also true that a memory can't be shared with someone that doesn't share the memory. It's a bit of a paradox really. When your memories become stories, that is nostalgia. Nostalgia is the stuff you remember and enjoy. Nostalgia is commercially viable when it causes individuals to recall the events of the past. As I said a paradox of sorts, it is like going to different schools together! Shared experiences and memories when we weren't there to share them, that's nostalgia. Memories by proxy.
These thoughts came to me as I begin preparing for the holidays, for Christmas especially. Christmas is certainly the most sentimental time of the year, at least for me it is. I was fortunate to have had a wonderful childhood, with good friends and even better memories. I no longer live near any of my childhood friends. Years have gone by without me having had interaction with them beyond an occasional card or phone call. Social media has brought me a bit closer and I'm grateful for that. I have found that Facebook functions more as a time machine than a current connection. I say that because not having had interaction with those old friends over the years much context is missing, the little happenings, the nuances that fill our lives, are not there. Our conversations are more about what was than what is. The past is familiar territory and the present is strange. Trying to " catch up " with time is a daunting task. I question, is that is even possible?
It's all in the details. That's a common expression and one that holds much truth. When it comes to old friends it is the details that adds that context. It is also the reason is so difficult to " catch up " with one another. When we were friends, in daily contact with one another, we were aware of the details. We knew the backstory, that explained motivations. We grew together, adopting and rejecting actions and ideas. Sometimes influenced by those friends, sometimes acting contrary to their advice. But we knew of their triumphs, their defeats, and disappointments. We share common memories. Memories are always in the first person, even when they are shared. The proof of that is when you recall those old memories with your friends. Often that shared memory isn't played back to you exactly as you remembered. It has been edited. Two first person accounts of the same event seldom match exactly, although the outcome usually does. It's the details and motivation that differs.
Our memories allow us to live in the past if only for a brief time. When we are joined in that past the experience is heightened. There are times when everything is just as you remembered it to be. There are also times when surprises appear. Like finding a missing piece to a puzzle, when you didn't realize the piece was gone. Another detail added, motivation explained. The past is alive once again. It does take someone with that common memory to accomplish that. Visiting the past alone is a lonely experience. Perhaps that is why I write that past down, it's not as lonely when shared. Even if I am only sharing it with myself.
Tis' the season. Christmas does make me sentimental for old friends, family and old memories. For all the good times shared. Sentiment doesn't have to be a sadness, sentiment can be a celebration. At Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. The birth of hope for all mankind. The old testament is in the past and the new begins. I'll be remembering my old friends and family throughout this season and beyond. A season of hope, of reflection. " Here we are as in olden days, Happy golden days of yore, Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more " If not in our dreams , in our common memories. Old friends and family are the depository of our sentiments. Let us celebrate that.
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