Christmas dinner has never been a big part of the tradition for me. I don't recall it ever being a big deal, not like Thanksgiving. Still over the years I have had holiday china and the little accessories that go along with it. I still have Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus salt and pepper shakers. I've had tablecloths and all that stuff. Candlesticks and candy dishes. Yes, it as been festive over the years. And as I sat some of this stuff out I began to think about all that, what we call the good china, as a sort of blanket term for seasonal items.
What I began thinking about was those things we have that are special. There are the " good " stuff that we seldom, if ever use. I admit I don't have a great deal of that kind of stuff because as a general rule I will use it, eventually. I'm sure you know what I mean. That special platter you received as a gift, far too fancy, too expensive to actually use. It looks wonderful in the china cabinet but don't use it! There was a tine when I had an actual china cabinet, filled with china, but that is long gone now. I had to downsize a bit and a formal dining room wasn't in that plan. Where I wealthy I expect I would still have that formal dining room , china cabinet and matching breakfront. I did enjoy it but it isn't a necessity, it's a luxury. It's a nice memory, nothing more, I don't feel a sense of loss. I am just thinking about those type of things.
I suppose it is like most things it all depends on what you grew up with. My Mom had those type of things in her house. Things to be admired, not to be used. Well at least you couldn't use them until the admiration had dimmed a bit. Like opening that box of Whitmans' candies, the big double decker one. It was a luxury, a treat you didn't get everyday. Your Sunday clothes were that way too. Wear them to church or other formal occasions and change out of them as soon as you get home. No, you didn't play in them, you acted like a gentleman! That suit and tie a was reminder of that. But we didn't have a lot of things like that. The furniture didn't have plastic slip covers and you could put your feet on the table, if you weren't wearing shoes, there are limits you know. Our home was definitely lived in! Yes it was a constant barrage of, pick your things up, what are you an animal, but it was home.
I'd say I have moved away from all of that just a bit. If I have it, I'll use it. Now I still have a few items that I just admire. I'm not talking about family heirlooms, that's a separate category altogether. I'm talking about items given to me as a gift that are just too nice to use. I guess some of the old upbringing resides in side me. What I mean is, when you grow up not having the fancy things, those fancy things take on special meanings, a certain value above their actual worth. I would expect if I had a T-bone steak everyday I'd get used to that as just a steak. I wonder what it would be like to never have to save up for something. The things that we saved up for did receive special treatment, they were taken care of, at least for a while. I remember buying a pair of Pro-Keds sneakers when I was a kid. Yes, I had to save up for those, they cost thirty five dollars! But Dad, they have split leather uppers and come in gold! They are so cool. I wore them and was careful with them, for a while. After a bit they did become just a pair of sneakers, the admiration having faded when they were dirty and worn. It's a bit of a paradox. You want nice stuff, and then you don't want to use that nice stuff, because if you do, it won't be so nice. Sometimes the enjoyment comes from just admiring that stuff!
Well soon it will Christmas and I'm certain I'll get some stuff. We all try to pick out stuff we think our family and friends either want or will enjoy. The older the person is, the harder that becomes because they have already had a lot of stuff. You can always go for the new stuff, the latest thing, but depending on their age that may or may not work. Hey don't give someone in their seventies the latest tech, it'll just frustrate them! Instead try for the nostalgic stuff and risk insulting them, ha, ha. Or you give people stuff that is designed just to be admired. That's a bit more difficult to do though, hard to decide what it is that will hold their attention for years. For me, if I amuse you for a few weeks I'm calling it a success. Well my old friend Epictetus said this, " wealth consists in not having possessions, but in having few wants. " I honestly answer with what most people don't want to hear when they ask me, what do you want for Christmas? I don't want anything. I'll just admire the stuff I have. The stuff I really want isn't sold on Amazon. No two day delivery possible. Yes I look around the room and I smile. I have my stuff out and it is going to be a Merry little Christmas. Oh, and Christmas day I will open that double decker box of Whitmans. The Whitman sampler is still a special treat, reserved for special occasions. It isn't about the cost, it is about the memories. My Aunt Minnie, really my great aunt, aunt to my Dad, was a woman of some wealth. She always had a box of Whitmans on her table and would let us kids pick out any piece we wanted. She also let us eat the shrimp! Was everyday stuff to her, an occasion to us. I always admired that extravagance. Must be something.
What I began thinking about was those things we have that are special. There are the " good " stuff that we seldom, if ever use. I admit I don't have a great deal of that kind of stuff because as a general rule I will use it, eventually. I'm sure you know what I mean. That special platter you received as a gift, far too fancy, too expensive to actually use. It looks wonderful in the china cabinet but don't use it! There was a tine when I had an actual china cabinet, filled with china, but that is long gone now. I had to downsize a bit and a formal dining room wasn't in that plan. Where I wealthy I expect I would still have that formal dining room , china cabinet and matching breakfront. I did enjoy it but it isn't a necessity, it's a luxury. It's a nice memory, nothing more, I don't feel a sense of loss. I am just thinking about those type of things.
I suppose it is like most things it all depends on what you grew up with. My Mom had those type of things in her house. Things to be admired, not to be used. Well at least you couldn't use them until the admiration had dimmed a bit. Like opening that box of Whitmans' candies, the big double decker one. It was a luxury, a treat you didn't get everyday. Your Sunday clothes were that way too. Wear them to church or other formal occasions and change out of them as soon as you get home. No, you didn't play in them, you acted like a gentleman! That suit and tie a was reminder of that. But we didn't have a lot of things like that. The furniture didn't have plastic slip covers and you could put your feet on the table, if you weren't wearing shoes, there are limits you know. Our home was definitely lived in! Yes it was a constant barrage of, pick your things up, what are you an animal, but it was home.
I'd say I have moved away from all of that just a bit. If I have it, I'll use it. Now I still have a few items that I just admire. I'm not talking about family heirlooms, that's a separate category altogether. I'm talking about items given to me as a gift that are just too nice to use. I guess some of the old upbringing resides in side me. What I mean is, when you grow up not having the fancy things, those fancy things take on special meanings, a certain value above their actual worth. I would expect if I had a T-bone steak everyday I'd get used to that as just a steak. I wonder what it would be like to never have to save up for something. The things that we saved up for did receive special treatment, they were taken care of, at least for a while. I remember buying a pair of Pro-Keds sneakers when I was a kid. Yes, I had to save up for those, they cost thirty five dollars! But Dad, they have split leather uppers and come in gold! They are so cool. I wore them and was careful with them, for a while. After a bit they did become just a pair of sneakers, the admiration having faded when they were dirty and worn. It's a bit of a paradox. You want nice stuff, and then you don't want to use that nice stuff, because if you do, it won't be so nice. Sometimes the enjoyment comes from just admiring that stuff!
Well soon it will Christmas and I'm certain I'll get some stuff. We all try to pick out stuff we think our family and friends either want or will enjoy. The older the person is, the harder that becomes because they have already had a lot of stuff. You can always go for the new stuff, the latest thing, but depending on their age that may or may not work. Hey don't give someone in their seventies the latest tech, it'll just frustrate them! Instead try for the nostalgic stuff and risk insulting them, ha, ha. Or you give people stuff that is designed just to be admired. That's a bit more difficult to do though, hard to decide what it is that will hold their attention for years. For me, if I amuse you for a few weeks I'm calling it a success. Well my old friend Epictetus said this, " wealth consists in not having possessions, but in having few wants. " I honestly answer with what most people don't want to hear when they ask me, what do you want for Christmas? I don't want anything. I'll just admire the stuff I have. The stuff I really want isn't sold on Amazon. No two day delivery possible. Yes I look around the room and I smile. I have my stuff out and it is going to be a Merry little Christmas. Oh, and Christmas day I will open that double decker box of Whitmans. The Whitman sampler is still a special treat, reserved for special occasions. It isn't about the cost, it is about the memories. My Aunt Minnie, really my great aunt, aunt to my Dad, was a woman of some wealth. She always had a box of Whitmans on her table and would let us kids pick out any piece we wanted. She also let us eat the shrimp! Was everyday stuff to her, an occasion to us. I always admired that extravagance. Must be something.
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