for auld lang sine

 I can't let New Years eve pass without mentioning Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadiens. They were synonymous with the celebration. I wonder how many partying tonight will never have heard of him? I imagine some won't even know who Dick Clark was. Well, I suppose that is to be expected, time marches on. But we'll all sing Auld Lang Sine, at least those words and mumble something to follow that, with the chorus being " should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should old acquaintence be forget for Auld Land sine "  I don't know about you  but I really don't know much of the song or what it really means. So I took to Google to find out. Auld Lang Sine literally means, Old Long Since, in the old Scottish language. There are several more verses to the poem and several chorus's. Each chorus is slightly different. It's an interesting poem, full of sentiment. It is attributed to Robert Burns but he made no claim to being the author saying he merely wrote the words down.
 As for Guy Lombardo he made his final New Years Eve appearance in 1976 playing into 1977 with that standard, Auld Lang Sine. My parents were not ones to go out for New Years, they stayed at home, and when I was younger had house parties. I'm thinking that is what the majority of the " family " people did. Well the fact is there wasn't much in the way of nightclubs within a reasonable distance of where I lived, just the local honky tonks and bars. That isn't to say those places didn't have some epic celebrations just that I believe the majority of the married with children folks stayed to home or went to another families home. Anyway, growing up, it was always Guy Lombardo and the Royal Canadiens, that was New Year. I couldn't say for sure if the television stayed " on air " that late but I'm guessing they did. New Years eve in black and white!
 Things have changed that much is certain. After Guy left us, after 48 consecutive years of playing the ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City, Dick Clark began to host. It was called New Years Rockin' Eve, a sort of tribute to Dick Clark and those that witnessed the birth of rock and roll. I recall my parents moaning about that, saying we have gone to hell in a handbasket! That used to happen a lot back in those days, haven't heard that one lately, now I guess we are taking Uber! Dick Clark hosted the show until 2012. A run of about 40 years! Now Ryan Seacrest, I still don't really know anything about him other than he does New Years Rockin' Eve, will be there tonight for the 47th airing of that show. He has done so, in some capacity for 14 years now. I heard where the headliner is some rapper named Post Malone! Never heard of him. Post Malone? First question is who is Malone and did he die? I don't know.
 Well Happy New Year no matter how you celebrate or where. I've seen another decade go by and the more things change the more they stay the same. We are still going to hell in a handbasket! Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Sometimes that is for the best. The second verse of that old Scottish poem goes something like this, " And surely you'll buy your pint cup, and surely I'll buy mine, and we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for Auld Lang Sine. " 

Morris the cat

 I got a cat for Christmas. I know they say don't give pets as gifts but in this case I wanted a cat. I've had cats in the past and do enjoy their company. I wouldn't call myself an animal person, per se. Fact is you will often hear me say things about those folks I feel are a little carried away, but that's just a personal opinion. Perhaps I'll become a convert and animal rights activist, you never know. But anyway, I got a yellow tabby, four years old, that needed a home. I had him around for a day before deciding what his name should be. It's Morris. Morris the cat, a cliché and a traditional name. The first Morris that gained fame insisted on eating only nine lives cat food. That was the pitch and Morris still signs every can of nine lives cat food as his personal endorsement. Morris first appeared in 1968 and two more have followed in his foot steps! 

 This is day five for Morris in his new home. He has slowly adapted and is becoming more comfortable and relaxed. His has begun to explore a wider area. My concern is his propensity to want to scratch the furniture. I realize that all cats do that, to a degree, and I can train him not to do that. The only issue is having patience enough to accomplish that. I'm hoping he is a fast learner. He did go off on an expedition this morning. As I said, he is beginning to explore a wider area. Last night he discovered the fish tank. He was fascinated with that for sure and had to be admonished to not jump up there. I'm still waiting to see what results I get from that lesson. But this morning he went into the bathroom where I have his litter box. Now my shower/bathtub has those sliding glass doors. The doors were closed, as usual. I was sitting at this keyboard when I heard a rather large thud. I thought it was the downstairs neighbor closing a door or something. I sat here a minute or two before wondering, where is that cat? I went in search of Morris. I looked in the bathroom but didn't see him, guess he isn't in there. Then I heard a meow. Taking another look I see his face through the opaque glass of the shower door. He had somehow jumped over the top and landed in the tub! He didn't have the vertical leap to get out1 So I slide the tub open and he scampers out of there. 

 Okay so that was an adventure. I'm thinking we will have a few adventures together Morris and I. He has been jumping up on everything, tables, chairs and the like. I have valence boxes in my living room and he has been eyeing them. He was standing on the top of the bookcase and I could tell he was measuring distance. Cats are pretty good at geometry, that much I know. I expect he will explore his surroundings and eventually settle into a pattern. That's been my experience with cats in the past. I will say dogs are more fun, more interactive, but require more effort. Cats can be indifferent but so can I. Well, welcome Morris he's a part of the family now. Just like having a child around though, getting into everything. And yes, I hear from my wife that one liner we are all familiar with, he's your cat! No different from, he's your child! I'll take care of it. 

Now and again

 Another decade is coming to a close. That's about half a generation, an in-between time. Of course that all depends upon when your time started. I was born three years into the decade of the 1950's. It wasn't until the 1960's that I started to become aware of the larger society beyond home, family, school and church. Yeah I'd say it took a decade for that to happen. It was then I began to question, why not? The argument began with, other people are doing this, why shouldn't I? I had discovered outside my little world, my community, some things were different. There were strange goings on in the world for sure. By the mid 60's you had these long haired fellows from England singing strange songs and it was being called a British invasion. I didn't like the sound of that much, still not a big fan of the Beatles to tell you the truth. But the larger picture was being revealed to me at that time. By the end of that decade there were those protesting the war in Vietnam, draft dodgers, hippies, commies! I figured they were communists! They wanted to live in communes, everybody sharing everything. Yeah, well sharing everything seemed like a fine idea but I suspected even then that it wouldn't work. I was aware of people and how they acted. I had two brothers and a sister and they weren't always willing to share everything, so I figured that is the way it was, I was right about that.  
 In 1970, the start of the new decade I was a junior in high school. I would graduate in June of '71, the decade was about to change for me. I had joined the Navy on the delayed enlistment program and on August the 9th of 1971 I boarded a train headed west to New York City, heading for the induction center at Ft. Hamilton. By that evening I was in Great Lakes Naval Training Facility. Life had changed! Standing at attention, being barked at by strangers, there was no turning back! I spent the first half of that decade in the Navy, was honorably discharged in '75 having completed four years of service. I was there when the war was " ended. " Before the decade would end I would be back in the Navy, married with one child.
 The following decades have become all blurred together. I did spend two of those decades in the Navy. Sounds like a lot when you put it that way but I have discovered that two decades really isn't much time at all. I suppose that is why when we get on, as the saying goes, we speak in terms of decades. In the 90's I was there for Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm among other minor conflicts and actions. That all seems long ago now and I'd have to say unsettled. The Korean conflict ended in July of 1953, sorta, no peace treaty ever having been signed, and that is the month and year I was born. What are we hearing about in the news today? North Korea. Well it has only been six decades, not so very long ago. At the end of the twentieth century, 1999, the big concern was that all the computers would crash! Would the computers that had now taken such control of financial markets, banking and daily activities recognize the year 2000?  Y2K is was called and for a great many people so concerned back then, forgotten today. That was only a decade ago.
 So what will the new decade bring us? First up I suppose is all this impeachment stuff. A trial in the Senate to decide whether the president is to be removed from office. If successful it will the first time in our history as a nation. That's what, over 22 decades worth of history. Yes, others where impeached but none have been removed. I'll go on record here and say that it won't happen. I will say it isn't out of the question that it could happen before the end of the decade though. What other milestones may be reached? Self driving cars? All green energy? Changing the climate? Changing the world from a binary concept to a more fluid one? One in which we just identify as whatever we choose to be? Certainly a change in the view of morality, ethics and religious beliefs.
 Well I hope that I'm around to sum up this new decade. I've been posting these blogs of mine for nearly a decade, perhaps I should just go back in review. I'm thinking I wouldn't find all that much that has changed in any drastic fashion. I'm writing about the same stuff I was writing about nine years ago. A decade isn't all that long. I did survive the Mayan apocalypse. Remember that? It was in 2012, only seven years ago, but forgotten by most. Just a blip, a dot on the radar screen.
  You know, when I was small television was in black and white and so was most everything else.        There was right and wrong, good and bad. If you wanted to change the channel, I only had two choices channel 8 or 3, you had to get up and turn the knob. Now the television is in living color, with surround sound, and if  I want to change the channel, over a hundred possible choices, all I have to do is tell the remote to do that!
 Progress they call it. It's been six decades and I'd say things are getting confused. Doesn't seem so black and white anymore. Confusing to say the least, so confusing perhaps we are losing our way. Maybe in this new decade we will find our path back. I think that life is nothing more than the journey back home. For now, I'm content just to visit every now and again.      

resolved

Experts say we should establish goals. It is goals that make our lives fulfilling and worthwhile. Well my goal is to stay alive for another year, does that count? This upcoming year I have numerous doctors appts starting in January. It begins with my primary physician. His job is just to do an overview, an assessment of the job you could say. After his nurse takes a few vital statistics down he will ask me , how do you feel? I'll say great. Then he starts referring me to the specialists. I have the cardiologist, the oncologist, the proctologists and some other gist I can't remember. I guess they get those titles because they understand the gist of the problems. ( drum roll ) And this year I get to add one more Doctor, a Doctor associated with the Veterans Administration. I think because I do receive benefits from the Veterans administration I have to make an appearance to prove I am alive. I received a letter saying I have to appear at least once a year, in person. I suspect it is an attempt to reduce fraud and seems reasonable enough. As I said that will be a new appointment to keep and so I don't know what to really expect from that. I'm thinking it won't be much. Well, it's not like I had any great plans for January anyway.
 Now as far as other goals for the upcoming year I really don't have anything in particular in mind. I have never been one to make resolutions. At least not for New Years. It's been my experience that few keep those resolutions and there real purpose is just to state what you would like to accomplish that you're pretty sure you won't. It's like saying, I know, so don't bug me about it, you just heard me say that. I've never seen the need to put that kind of pressure on myself. I refuse to start the year stressed out! I'm not starting out the year lying to myself! I most likely will not lose weight or quit any bad habits. I like to eat and I like those habits, that's why I do both! Not hard to understand really. So I guess you could say I am resolving not to change. But that isn't a resolution, an answer to a problem, it's more of a commitment. A commitment to remain true to myself. It's an obligation to others as well. I feel obligated to not disappointment others. They already know what to expect from me, I wouldn't want to cause any confusion. If nothing else I try to remain consistent. I do live by a simple rule, if you don't tell lies , you don't have to remember much. Mark Twain is attributed with that saying. I just see the truth in it. I call it conviction others just say I'm stubborn. Both are truths to the ones speaking it. Sometimes we just don't like the truth! It doesn't change the truth, it changes us.
 I'm thinking this year I may make a resolution after all. I resolve to stay the same lovable guy that I am. No changes here. It has gotten me through sixty six years so far. although the last few I have had assistance from a " team " of doctors. But they can only work on the mechanics, not the brain of the operation. I truly believe the only help for your brain is self help. The only issue is in knowing when it is malfunctioning. You can't listen to others in that regard, self examination is the only way. That creates a problem. You see, resolutions cause stress. I don't need any stress in my life. Think I will do the same as I have done every year, just take it one day at a time. It's the only way that makes sense for me. Why would I want to change? I'm a delight.  

maturity denied

 Each generation leaves their mark in history. Each generation trying to match the accomplishments of their forbearers. Indeed the objective is to be " better " than the previous generation. Isn't that why society, in general, goes through changes? These changes are cyclic in nature, best expressed with an old adage, what goes around, comes around. We are taught about these changes as ages. Ages are the very broad definition of society. You know the iron age, the industrial age, that sort of thing. Then there are era's. The Victorians are a good example of that. And of course, we started labeling generations. I'm a baby boomer! That's what they call my generation, the one following WW2. Then there is x,y, z, millennials and whatever. I can't keep all that straight. But I'm aware of being a baby boomer. We weren't the first hippies, just the first to use that name. The flappers in the roaring twenties with their twenty three skee doo and all that jazz where the hippies of there time. You had the greasers in the fifties, an alternative social group. I guess that is how you would describe that, I'm no sociologist. But you get what I mean.

 Now we boomers can take credit for the invention of the personal computer. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are boomers. However I would have to say we boomers are responsible for a great deal of social change. Some of this change rightfully belongs to the previous generation but we take credit for it, think civil rights. The legacy of the baby boomer generation is definitely a mixed bag of good to the questionable. Boomers are know for the Vietnam War, not for causing it, but fighting in it. An unpopular war for sure and only now are its' veterans ( boomers ) getting respect for that service. It must be remembered many burned their draft cards, fled to Canada, staged sit-ins and generally protested that war. Sometimes called the " me " generation for their self absorbed attitudes,  boomers abandoned many of the old traditions regarding morality and ethics. 

 I got to thinking about all of this after an online discussion. I don't know who the other  person was, just an anonymous voice on the internet. I'm not one to stalk your profile page in an attempt to find information I can use to insult you, or attack you on. Fact is, I have serious doubts about just how honest and accurate any such profile would be, especially so with those attacking strangers. I'd perfer you didn't know too much! I've known some that create a fake account to gain access! An subterfuge, a back door attack. But this person, when his or her supply of insults and information ran out, suggested that as a boomer I should be close to death. Apparently feeling a boomer is no longer relevant in society today, just a drag on resources. Indeed it was suggested the world would be a better place were I to leave it. I did explain to that person that I highly doubt my passing would alter world events and assured that individual that there day would come as well, all in good time. Still, that remark stuck in my head. 

 I was taught to respect my elders. That instruction can be found in every culture, in every society that ever existed. True some are more reverent about that than others, but never have I heard of a society where you wish for the death of your elders. I was thinking about that. In society today, right now, we allow abortion as a right, a choice. Regardless of any debate the purpose of that " procedure " is to prevent or eliminate life, depending on your rationale. We have laws about assisted suicide. Sometimes called death with dignity in an attempt to make that choice palatable. And it isn't just for the terminally ill anymore, no, age alone may be the reason. There is even some that reason this is a kindness to their elders. A change in social attitude? I see those choices as a great deal more than that. I see those choices as social degradation. A spiraling downward that is gaining in momentum. 

  Certainly I could dismiss what that individual said as nothing more than a flippant remark designed to insult and I would be correct. As I said I don't know who that person is, perhaps just an immature child. I really don't place a great deal of value on what strangers say to me in these discussions. Still that remark served its' purpose I suppose as I have given it some thought. My first thought being, how rude! My response was not anger, but dismissal. It did cause me to think more about it. What anger must that person harbor? Is it contempt? Perhaps it is nothing more than indifference. Indifference to a life. That statemen was followed by being called a boomer. Okay Boomer being the latest insult to those willing to accept that as an insult. I just accept it as a fact of life. Yup, I'm a boomer. And then I began to think about just what legacy are us Boomers going to leave? Is it too late to change that legacy? What will history say about us? My parents generation, the silent generation as the sociologists call them, left a legacy. What is that legacy? They are called the " greatest generation. " Growing up in the great depression they were defined by the sacrifices they made. They did without. They were taught respect for their elders, and service to the community and indeed to the nation as their greatest duty. There greatest fault was in the way they raised their children, the baby boomers. Having done without, they were determined their children would not. In general I'd say they were quite successful at that. Perhaps a little too successful. I'd say we boomers don't have an expectation of entitlement but certainly demand we receive what we are entitled too. We have, after all, worked for it. So what legacy shall we leave? Will it be one of social change? Yes, of course it will be. I'm just concerned about the changes we are making. Once the downward begins it is difficult to reverse that. Are we going to be the generation that says, ah, go ahead and end life when it is convenient or inconvenient for life to begin and end? Or will we be the generation to reverse that decision? It was the silent generation, the generation of our parents that passed that legislation essentially for us baby boomers. I'd suggest it was legislation passed in an error of judgement, another entitlement that silent generation wanted to give to their children, The social pressure to do such is a topic I'm certain could fill a book. It is a downward spiral begun by them, embraced by a portion of the baby boomer generation, and has reached a point where it is described as a right! The right to prevent or take life. Is that truly a legacy to take pride in? Not for me it isn't, not for me. As I was told in that conversation,  just die boomer, isn't it time you died? And that was in response to a discussion about the President, a temporary thing. Life and the ending of it is rather a permanent thing, wouldn't you say? Are we boomers to be a bust? That's a question I find asking myself. All I can do is continue to write my thoughts and hold discussions with others. It really is as Socrates said. " I can not teach anybody, anything. I can only make them think. " The frustration comes when I get the feeling that others aren't really thinking about anything but what they want. Maturity denied? Perhaps that is what happened when the silent generation raised us boomers, perhaps that was the result. Perhaps we boomers perpetuated that, and that's why society is in the condition it is today. The utopia we boomers once envisioned, peace and love, aided by " mind expanding drugs " never came to fruition. I don't expect it ever will. But we keep trying to eliminate the obstacles with " medications " and indeed the elimination of life itself when that life proves an inconvenience. 

 The time grows short for us boomers A new generation will soon litigate our lives. I say litigate because the living of life has been constantly constricted by litigation. Law and order is indeed a double edged sword. Yes today the law protects us from being "euphuized " requiring our consent but future litigation can change that. End of life decisions based on economic considerations? It's already happened in Great Britain, no reason it couldn't happen here. I don't see any reason however why we can't just all grow up! Maybe, just maybe we should have listened more closely to the silent generation when they tried to tell us about sacrifice and making do. Yes, they loved us, loved us to a fault it would seem.        

A Christmas exchange

 I had a wonderful Christmas once again. It was indeed a Merry Little Christmas. I have to say it felt  different this year. You see my grandson was home for the holiday enjoying the " winter break " as his university calls it. That alone changed the dynamic a bit. It's difficult to explain unless you have experienced it yourself, at least, that's my feeling. He had picked out and purchased gifts by himself, using solely his own funds. A " grownup " thing to do. Again, it was different. He wrapped those gifts as well! That's unusual, or rather new as well, because in the past he got Mom to do that. Truly a young man now, that realization arrives as a bittersweet thing. Grandparents will understand. As a grandparent you do have to wonder if you will get to see the transformation from child to adult in someone you love again. Great grandkids? I certainly hope so. 

 Mark does have a younger sister, Morgan. Morgan is driving her own car, has a boyfriend and a job. (sigh ) She isn't a little girl anymore. In the past I would have seen my ballerina dancing in the nutcracker but she has grown past that. Oh she still takes dance but I hear little about that. I expect she will soon remove herself from all of that and move forward. For her, dance will be a childhood memory, like someone being in the high school band or drama club. Well you can't expect every child to go on to Radio City Music Hall! She has completed one semester of a college level course concurrently with her high school studies. she now has an eye toward the medical field, perhaps as a physical therapist or radiology. Christmas morning she was here showing me her I-phone 11 or some such thing and talking a mile a minute, as young girls are prone to do. She too had purchased gifts using her own funds, a sign of maturity. 

 As for myself it felt like there were no children for Christmas this year. I wasn't expecting that and it hit me suddenly. It is a mixture of sorrow and pride. It is the same feeling I had when my boys were grown and out on their own for the first time. Young adults. And now, now it has happened once again. But I need to remind myself that it is a good thing, a natural thing, the way things ought to be. All is well in the world and I am grateful. The earth is still turning and another generation is coming into their own. Seems strange, watching the second generation since my own birth join the adult world. Relatively speaking it won't be that long before I welcome a third, maybe five or ten years from now. No time at all when you are already 66. Even Christmas comes and goes quickly now. I know this one surely did. 

 Now I did receive a surprise gift, one I had no idea about. I was given a cat. Yes, a real live cat! Now I like cats, always have, and have had a few. I haven't had one in quite some time however. Now my wife isn't crazy about animals of any kind, well except me, but Cats are the least offensive to her. So she conspired with my son and his wife on this gift. I'm looking forward to years of company. It will take a while for us to get to know each other. So far I haven't heard him make a sound but he seems friendly enough. I haven't decided upon a name just yet, I'll have to give that time. I'd say he was a Tabby.

 I've started putting away Christmas already. I did need to make room for my cat to look out the window. The weather is supposed to warm in the next few days and I'll use that break to take down the outside lights and decorations. New Year is no big deal around my house. No big parties, no big celebration. I guess Valentines day is next up. Of course that holiday is just about getting a card and candy, maybe a flower. Well it's only 363 till Christmas so I better get moving. Time waits for no man. Christmas 2019 is behind us. I do have to make a return and figure I might as well get it done. The suit jacket we got for our grandson is just a bit too large. He is larger than I am, a strapping young man as the saying goes. He said, no hurry Grandpa, My response was, Mark, when you get old you will worry about such things, I'll be exchanging that jacket tomorrow! Yes time speeds up as you age, one day they are children and the next off to college. I had better exchange that jacket before he graduates. Each Christmas is an exchange, a passing of time. Traditions and memories shared, made, and exchanged.   

    

Moments and memories

 Waking up on Christmas morning in expectation of the day. If only we could wake every morning with that same feeling. It doesn't make any difference if you are a small child or a grandparent, the expectation is the same. Oh I know more properly I should say it has been that way for me and I realize I am blessed. Not everyone enjoys this day, this celebration, for various reasons. But I can not assume to know or understand the feelings of others, I write in the first person. As a child I anticipated Santa Claus and all that entitled. When I had children of my own it was the anticipation of seeing their faces and sharing their happiness. With grandchildren it is a passing of tradition, a remembrance of years gone by.
 I do remember those Christmas's of my youth, the preparation and the anticipation. I can honestly say, I was never disappointed. It isn't because I got everything I wanted, although I admit to receiving a lot, it was and continues to be, because of others. Even when I was small I was excited for what others received, not in a way that I wanted that item, but that they were excited to get it. I don't know, it's hard to explain. My Dad always had a can of Schaefer beer in the toe of his stocking and a carton of Pall Mall cigarettes. He was always " surprised. " It was a tradition at our house, the stockings were emptied first, before any gifts were unwrapped. I always got the usual, Pez candies, hard candy, pens, pencils, and an assortment of 5&10 cent goodies. It was fun to see what the others got. That was followed by the unwrapping, a short burst of excitement! The stockings remained for a while with my own children but have faded away a bit in the following years, Will that be a tradition lost? Perhaps, but all things change and evolve over time according to current sensibilities. Live trees are becoming the exception instead of the norm. This year there was a shortage. C-6 lights are rare and bubble lights a novelty once again. I have both. I also have the LED style, far more reliable, far more durable, a modern improvement. I still remember when one light went out, the whole string went out and you had to search for that. Tinsel on the tree and the admonishment to make sure not to get that tinsel in the lights!
 Today Christmas morning, 2019, I find myself anticipating once again. I'm waiting for the grandchildren, now young adults, to stop by. I find Christmas to be more a day of memories, than of moments. I suppose that is because it takes years to gather that many moments, moments enough to make memories. That is what Christmas has become, a collection of moments. Isn't that the magic of Christmas? Moments that change our lives. Christmas is, after all, about a moment that changed the lives of everyone in the world. I haven't forgotten about that. I have found that Christmas is about joy. Yes, gifts are exchanged and it would seem that brings the joy, but it isn't so. The joy resides in our hearts. For on Christmas especially, we are giving of ourselves, anxious to share, grateful for the love of our family and friends. Halleluiah indeed.

With my grandmother Bennett, Brother Dan, Brother Harold and Sister Millie. Brother Dan is in Georgia, Harold, Millie and Grandma in heaven. We were all together in '57 a moment, a moment I remember. A Christmas memory.  
  

a begining

 And so Christmas eve is upon us once again. Visions of sugar plums and listening for sleigh bells in the snow. In years past I would have been looking forward to services at St. Lukes. The church having been decorated with fresh pine boughs, all was ready. It was different going to church at night and it was an exciting change. I remember the Three Kings arriving, singing their way up that long center aisle. Yes, the whole cast was there but it was the Kings I remember the most. Men with booming voices echoing through the church was different, powerful, impactful, and left an impression. The service was capped by lighting small candles, the light of the world, that we would try to get home without them going out. I recall shielding them against wind and holding them as closely as I could. They stayed lighted in the car on the way home, they stayed lit until we all went to bed. Christmas eve, a time full of memories. An evening of expectations when we are children, and an evening of sentiment when we grow older.  

 It is sometimes difficult to comprehend that was more than fifty years ago. Fifty years doesn't seem that long when you have lived it. There are times when that time does get a bit, say we shall, foggy. It's a curiosity to me, our memories. Why do we remember certain things more vividly than others? I'm thinking about everyday things here, not traumatic events or unusually jubilant ones. No, I'm thinking about the everyday things we did as children or young adults. I remember those Three Kings as vividly today as the day they were walking down the aisle but the rest of the cast, not so much. The candles were unusual so I understand that. Wasn't everyday you carried a lighted candle in the backseat of the car! There was never an incident as far as I know. 

 Every now and again a reminder will appear. Like a switch being flipped the light comes on. Just the other day someone posted about oranges and  candy boxes at Christmas. I had forgotten about that. Well I guess I really hadn't forgotten but those memories were in the dark. Now I do remember getting an orange in the toe of my Christmas stocking, and getting one at church as well. When attending Jesus's birthday party we all got a box of hard candy. It was in those little boxes, like animal crackers came in, only with a Christmas theme, with a string across the top for carrying. When that happens it does make me wonder, do we ever really forget, or do we just misplace stuff? Misplaced memories that return to us once again are like seeing old friends. An old familiar face, or the sound of their voice, a comfort. 

 I have a bit of a tradition for Christmas eve. Before I go to bed I will spend some time listening to the Christmas tree. All the lights in the house are off, no television, no radio, all is quiet, only the tree is lighted. I will just sit and listen to that tree tell the stories of Christmas past. Some years it will be a few minutes others a bit longer. But I have discovered the tree has much to say if you but listen. It makes no difference if that tree is a " real " tree or an artificial one. There is nothing artificial about sentiment and memory.  Nothing artificial about whispered prayers for the new year. Just a few moments alone with everything that Christmas was, and has become to be. Each Christmas is a new birth, a new beginning, a time for redemption and for repentance. All those I love, and have loved will join me before I go to bed. All gathered around the Christmas tree, waiting in anticipation, waiting for tomorrow, a new day, a beginning.  

 

what differnce does it make

 What difference does it make? It is a retort I hear often in discussions. Usually it comes out as a result of frustration. My usual response will be, it makes no difference at all. That's the truth the majority of the time. That's because what I'm talking about is perception, and perception is only important to the one looking. If I can't make you see it from my perspective, we're not seeing the same thing, hence the frustration. But it is my feeling that phrase is deployed more as a defense than anything else. I say defense because it is usually deployed when the other person refuses to change their view. Whether it is because they genuinely can't see another view, or simply refuse to see it doesn't matter, it makes no difference.
 Hidden in that phrase is concern. Concern for whatever topic is being discussed. The one using that phrase has run out of arguments, out of defense, for their stand. Time to say, what difference does it make? It's a form of justification for whatever you wish to justify. Even if that action is wrong, it's a justification. A good example is Hillary Clinton saying, " at this point, what difference does it make? " Her position was indefensible, she knew that, and so that retort was hurtled out in frustration. Yes, she was concerned. Concerned for her own position, not concerned for those that were injured. After all  they were deceased, at this point, what difference does it make? In that situation it makes all the difference in the world although there is nothing one can do to change it. In that situation the difference is accountability, that was her concern. But that is an extreme example I include to make a point. That was her only defense at the time.
 So then you ask, why have the conversation in the first place, if it doesn't matter? It's entertainment is my answer. Oh I could say I find all these discussions mentally stimulating and all that but the truth is I just enjoy talking about stuff. I don't feel a need to justify my opinions but I will defend them, hence my response, it doesn't make any difference. That is what I will say when; it doesn't make any difference to me. That's how that works. What I'm saying is you are not changing my mind so it doesn't matter. Dismissive? Yes you could say that is what it is. It is the opposite of acceptance you know. The degree of impartiality towards a subject determines that. You know, does it matter? There are times when it is discomfort that elicits that response, what difference does it make. That's the difference it is making!
 I do think that every interaction we have with one another makes a difference. It is only the relative impact that interaction has that determines its' worth. If you were to eat one of my candies in a bowl of a hundred, it won't matter. Take the last one and it makes a difference. It's a cumulative thing. It is the same way with personal interaction. That's why some remain friends forever and others quickly fizzle out. How long are you entertained? I'd say that depends solely on you. How stable are you with the relationship you have with yourself? If you are allowing others to destabilize that relationship you have an issue. You are judging, what difference does it make. If you can't dismiss whatever it is, or whoever it is, it makes a difference. Yes it is a rhetorical question, what difference does it make. It is asked to produce an effect, to make a statement. There is no answer that will satisfy the one asking that question. They aren't being receptive to your rhetoric. Frustrating isn't it.  
       

it's simple really

 To be recognized. That, I believe is what the majority of us require. Whatever form that recognition takes, it is what we need. That is a question I was exploring yesterday. I had posted a question on Facebook and waited for responses. The question, perhaps poorly phrased, was concerning titles. Are you an artist or an author simply by claiming to be one? That is what I was asking. When I had posted that I was thinking that those titles had to be gained by some monetary compensation for those works. That would certainly make you a professional. The only difference between an amateur and professional being compensation. As the comments came in and the day wore on I did change my opinion on that. Now I believe that Titles have to be given to you by recognition. That recognition doesn't have to be monetary compensation, it can take other forms. Fame and recognition are separate entities. You do have to be recognized before fame can be achieved however. There is a co-dependence. Strangely that doesn't have to happen while you are alive. But what good is fame, if you are dead? 

 I was asking if you an just give yourself a title. Many people seem to do that these days. I suspect they always have. I've met a few of these folks, not bad people, just a bit different. I'm sure you have met them too, the ones that identify as this or that, with little substance to back up that claim. That's where fame or recognition plays into all of this. Now I've had a few say they enjoy what I write and I have received encouragement to continue. I appreciate that very much, I really do. Still, that doesn't make me an author, at least , not in my mind. I can't help but feel it would be a bit presumptuous of me to claim that title. I can't accept that title. Now if I were to write a best seller and receive recognition for that perhaps I would feel like an author then, I don't know, and I'm unlikely to find out. But that doesn't mean I just claim the title for myself, know what I mean? 

 Now I did hear arguments that you can indeed just call yourself an artist, an author, or anything you want and it is valid. I can see that, but don't understand that. As I said I have met people like that. They are convinced in their own mind. Is it self confidence or delusion? Well that is subject to opinion isn't it?  Today we are told, don't judge. Whatever that person chooses to believe we should just accept without question. A common retort I heard growing up was " if you say so " but it was understood what that meant. It was an expression of doubt, of questioning, and yes, a judgement. I wonder how we are suppose to get by with a lack of judgement? Judgement, like everything else requires practice, if we are not to practice judgement, how are we to tell? Is it reality or a delusion?  Am I this or that? What is my place? It just seems to me that many people are not seeing the simple truth anymore. The plain unvarnished truth isn't pleasing to some and they search for alternatives. That's why the confusion. The confusion being they do not recognize what they are. It's true we may not like what we are, but we can change our response to that. If we exercise sound judgement that is. Adopting alternative truths isn't the way to go about that, in my opinion. You don't get to change reality! Reality can be a lonely place unless you keep good company. It's really quite simple.    

Stuff

Christmas dinner has never been a big part of the tradition for me. I don't recall it ever being a big deal, not like Thanksgiving. Still over the years I have had holiday china and the little accessories that go along with it. I still have Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus salt and pepper shakers. I've had tablecloths and all that stuff. Candlesticks and candy dishes. Yes, it as been festive over the years. And as I sat some of this stuff out I began to think  about all that, what we call the good china, as a sort of blanket term for seasonal items.
 What I began thinking about was those things we have that are special. There are the " good " stuff that we seldom, if ever use. I admit I don't have a great deal of that kind of stuff because as a general rule I will use it, eventually. I'm sure you know what I mean. That special platter you received as a gift, far too fancy, too expensive to actually use. It looks wonderful in the china cabinet but don't use it! There was a tine when I had an actual china cabinet, filled with china, but that is long gone now. I had to downsize a bit and a formal dining room wasn't in that plan. Where I wealthy I expect I would still have that formal dining room , china cabinet and matching breakfront. I did enjoy it but it isn't a necessity, it's a luxury. It's a nice memory, nothing more, I don't feel a sense of loss. I am just thinking about those type of things.
 I suppose it is like most things it all depends on what you grew up with. My Mom had those type of things in her house. Things to be admired, not to be used. Well at least you couldn't use them until the admiration had dimmed a bit. Like opening that box of Whitmans' candies, the big double decker one. It was a luxury, a treat you didn't get everyday. Your Sunday clothes were that way too. Wear them to church or other formal occasions and change out of them as soon as you get home. No, you didn't play in them, you acted like a gentleman! That suit and tie a was reminder of that. But we didn't have a lot of things like that. The furniture didn't have plastic slip covers and you could put your feet on the table, if you weren't wearing shoes, there are limits you know. Our home was definitely lived in! Yes it was a constant barrage of, pick your things up, what are you an animal, but it was home.
 I'd say I have moved away from all of that just a bit. If I have it, I'll use it. Now I still have a few items that I just admire. I'm not talking about family heirlooms, that's a separate category altogether. I'm talking about items given to me as a gift that are just too nice to use. I guess some of the old upbringing resides in side me. What I mean is, when you grow up not having the fancy things, those fancy things take on special meanings, a certain value above their actual worth. I would expect if I had a T-bone steak everyday I'd get used to that as just a steak. I wonder what it would be like to never have to save up for something. The things that we saved up for did receive special treatment, they were taken care of, at least for a while. I remember buying a pair of Pro-Keds sneakers when I was a kid. Yes, I had to save up for those, they cost thirty five dollars! But Dad, they have split leather uppers and come in gold! They are so cool. I wore them and was careful with them, for a while. After a bit they did become just a pair of sneakers, the admiration having faded when they were dirty and worn. It's a bit of a paradox. You want nice stuff, and then you don't want to use that nice stuff, because if you do, it won't be so nice. Sometimes the enjoyment comes from just admiring that stuff!
 Well soon it will Christmas and I'm certain I'll get some stuff. We all try to pick out stuff we think our family and friends either want or will enjoy. The older the person is, the harder that becomes because they have already had a lot of stuff. You can always go for the new stuff, the latest thing, but depending on their age that may or may not work. Hey don't give someone in their seventies the latest tech, it'll just frustrate them! Instead try for the nostalgic stuff and risk insulting them, ha, ha. Or you give people stuff that is designed just to be admired. That's a bit more difficult to do though, hard to decide what it is that will hold their attention for years. For me, if I amuse you for a few weeks I'm calling it a success. Well my old friend Epictetus said this, " wealth consists in not having possessions, but in having few wants. " I honestly answer with what most people don't want to hear when they ask me, what do you want for Christmas? I don't want anything. I'll just admire the stuff I have. The stuff I really want isn't sold on Amazon. No two day delivery possible. Yes I look around the room and I smile. I have my stuff out and it is going to be a Merry little Christmas. Oh, and Christmas day I will open that double decker box of Whitmans. The Whitman sampler is still a special treat, reserved for special occasions. It isn't about the cost, it is about the memories. My Aunt Minnie, really my great aunt, aunt to my Dad, was a woman of some wealth. She always had a box of Whitmans on her table and would let us kids pick out any piece we wanted. She also let us eat the shrimp! Was everyday stuff to her, an occasion to us. I always admired that extravagance. Must be something.     

in my own mind

 Epictetus said: " First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak. " I'd say that was sound advice. Of course you first have to understand what he is saying. That's a bit of a problem with some folks these days, they only know what they are told. I think a great deal of that comes from the way society works today. We send our children to school, at earlier and earlier ages, not to teach them but to have them give the " right " answers. The problem being the answers are whatever is socially and politically correct at this particular time. After the schooling is over it's off to the work force. In that arena you are measured by your comparative " success. "  In brief, how much money you make and your position in the corporate world. That's society today. If there are any " great thinkers " or " philosophers " I sure haven't heard of them. What's popular in literature these days? The last big sensation I heard about was Fifty shades of Grey! No, I haven't read it, I haven't seen the movie nor do I have an interest in doing so. I'm not saying there haven't been great literary works being written, just that I haven't heard anything about that. But all of that is another discussion for another day. I was just struck by what Epictetus said. First learn the meaning. How do we learn the meaning of anything? Through personal experience is my answer. To truly understand you have to have experienced whatever it is you are trying to understand. Just adopting a " feeling " isn't having that feeling. You can't be taught what to feel or not to feel! As a neighbor of mine once told my son, " understanding it ain't doing it, doing it is doing it!" He said after trying to teach my son a basic knot. My son hadn't yet mastered it and was getting flustered, as Mr., Taylor ( the neighbor ) began to tell him one more time he did say, I understand. That's when Mr. Taylor made that statement. Understanding it ain't doing it, doing it is doing it.
 Now all of that was to lead you to this statement that I posted the other day on social media. " Memories are the blankets for our soul. " That response came out of me and onto the page without thought. I did think about it later on and this morning as well. I wrote that response because it is something I understand. I have learned the meaning of what I said. That's why that answer came so readily. I don't recall exactly what the posting said that prompted that response however. I do mentally give credit to whoever first posed the question that lead me to respond. I am a sentimental type and find myself increasingly so as the years pass. Memories do warm my soul, good memories.   My wife had an Uncle named George, frequent readers of these posts may recall him, that lived to be 95 years old. With limited mobility and legally blind he lived alone in his home he had purchased after WW2. He lived there with his parents until there passing. He remained there, a confirmed bachelor, until his own death. He fell down the stairs! Sounds like a sad tale doesn't it? It wasn't for Uncle George. He was always cheerful, in good spirits as they say, every time I met him. His greatest joy was in telling his stories, showing others his pictures and videos. Yes, in those later years those things, pictures and videos, were just memories to him, he couldn't see them. Still those memories warmed his soul, of that I am certain. I'm certain because I too look at old photographs and videos and feel the warmth those memories offer. It's an experience. For that reason I understand. Life could have grown cold for George but it didn't! It didn't because of his memories.
  It is our memories that stay with us, other thing may come and go, but memories, memories remain. The secret is in the way we view our memories. Are they just the things of the past, things gone? Or are they alive and well, bringing the day, the hour, or the moment alive once again? It is the later that warms our soul bringing us the warmth of life. And George loved his life. He spent his life building memories and enjoying them. I learned that from him, from his example. Memories are the blanket for our soul. We must remember whatever action we take today becomes the memory we live with tomorrow. Choose wisely your words and your actions, lest you leave yourself cold in the future.
 I see many people changing their opinions, their " learning " based solely on what is being taught. The media plays a big role in that. Whether it is the New York Times or CNN, a magazine, or social media outlets, the objective is to spread knowledge. It is a good thing, we should read and gather as much information as possible. But more importantly we should strive to learn, not just be educated! As my father was fond of pointing out, the world is full of educated damn fools. He was, of course, correct. How did he know? He learned it.
 Now I find myself posting these little quips and quotes that enter my mind, often unexpectedly. I do so for no particular reason, I hold no illusions that I can offer enlightenment. Enlightenment is an internal thing, a self discovery. It has been said it you want to know what you think, write. Perhaps I post my thoughts to Facebook and in this blog as a road to discovery. I can't be a sage. You have to be old and dead to be a sage. It also helps if you are a legend. I'm no legend, haven't done anything legendary, and am not likely to in the future. Well I will die so there is some hope. First learn the meaning of what you say, then speak. ( Epictetus )
 I think we are living in an epic time. The Republic is under attack from the left and the extreme right. A lot of rhetoric is being strewn about. We would all do well to learn the meaning of what we say. We need to think of the future, save some blankets for the future. Yes, it may give you a warm and fuzzy feeling today, but will that memory warm your soul in the future?
 My good friends would sometimes, in a teasing fashion, call me the living legend! That was many years ago now, back in my youth. Back before any thought of the future beyond the next ball game or school break. Yes a living legend, a legend in my own mind. It is a warming memory. 

on his terms

 It's been five years since my oldest brother left this earth. I still feel like I could just drive over to his house and see him. He was, after all, a constant presence in my life, although it is true that we didn't visit with each other often. Still, he was always there. I remember as a small child he would protect me against the neighborhood bullies. Yes, there were bullies back then and they were handled in quite a different fashion than today. A taste of their own medicine would be administered! Harold did that on at least one occasion I recall vividly. Following that encounter I was given a wide berth as the saying goes, bully problem solved. Later Harold joined the Navy and off to see the world. He would mail me a Navy periodical " All Hands " that contained a centerfold. Scantily clad ladies giving moral support to the troops. I thought it was quite something. Well, that's what older brothers are for.
 Harold was always a big man in stature. He had the personality to match. He could talk on virtually any subject and often would. Nothing meek and mild about him. He was well read and had many talents. He could go from truck driver to Insurance agent in an instant and you would believe that he had done both all his life. Truth is, he did do those two occupations the most. He could do far more than that though, a very versatile and resourceful person he knew how to get by, and often times did much better than that. His knowledge of coins was encyclopedic and he really enjoyed that hobby. He also had quite the collection of Indian arrowheads and other artifacts. I was always amazed by the way he could spot those things. You would walk with him through a fresh plowed field and his eyes just seemed drawn to those things. I have never found a one but he found them in abundance. Well, he always did have sharp eyesight.
 Harold was six years older than I and so we grew apart for a while. You know how that is, an older brother and a younger brother tend to butt heads just a bit. The older brother feeling like he knows better, and the younger thinking the same. Family dynamics being tested. We had both gone on our own paths and would occasionally connect. We had all left our hometown to find a place in a larger world. I often wonder about that. What if? What if the family had stayed in that hometown, stayed in close proximity, would we have maintained a closer relationship? I'll never know the answer to that question. For quite a number of years , until his passing, he lived only twenty miles from me. It may as well been a hundred. Seldom did we visit each other. He would stop by when he was in my neighborhood and I would stop by when I was in his. But those visit were too few and too far between. It's true that hindsight is twenty twenty and it's true that one day it's too late. But I still believe our lives unfolded as planned. That's not to say I don't feel a tinge of guilt, a sense of remorse for not having made more of an effort. Fact is, when it comes to family there should be no effort! Perhaps I should have realized, should have felt a greater sense of urgency. Losing a brother, or anyone that you love for that matter, isn't something any of us want to accept. He'll get better, he'll be alright. That's the thought process. It was no different with my sister. I couldn't accept that she was dying either. In some way I refuse to accept either one to this day. They are somewhere just waiting for me. When we met again we'll just take up where we left off, just like always.
 I grew up in a family of six. Three are gone now and the years keep on coming. There is no stopping time, no respite from fate. What will be, will be. I do take comfort in seeing the kids and grandkids. Harold raised some wonderful daughters and their children are prospering. The world is going along just as planned. We are here subject to the whims of a greater power than ourselves. But I can't believe it is all a whim, an accident of some kind. I believe it is a part of a larger plan, a structured universe. I miss my Dad, my sister, and my eldest brother. I miss not being able to talk to them, but more so, that they don't answer. Oh there are times when I hear them alright, but it is always as an instruction. I don't hold any conversations with them. Still I'm aware that they walk with me wherever I go. Harold was quite a talented artist when he chose to do so. Well, the truth is, he was a man of many talents. Oh the stories I could tell. He was a man that lived his life, anyone that knew him can attest to that. I admire him for that, I always admired him for that. Life on his terms! And the terms, were good.     

mysterious

 I believe in speaking my truth and repeating it as I feel necessary. Some would call that conviction or faith, others have different terms to describe it, no matter, I will continue. It is only when I find myself uncomfortable with that truth that I may remain silent, while I contemplate further. But the things I'm certain of I just keep on saying. Silence is a form of acceptance. If we remain silent about things just to appease others, just so we don't ruffle any feathers, that's the same as saying it's alright.   It's a frequent discussion I have. For me we live in a binary world. There is right and wrong, black and white. It is no accident that the operating system in the worlds largest computer uses the same system as the smallest, a binary system. In computers it is a series of yes and no responses that ultimately determine the result. If any one of those responses is incorrect the product will be incorrect. And let's not forget that the computer is only as smart as those that provide the answers. A real fear is that a computer may begin to think for itself. If the computer begins deciding yes and no! You really can't reason with a computer or appeal to its' emotions. That's a problem. Can't program empathy.

 The big question in all of that; is right and wrong conditional? That is to say if something is right today, can it be wrong tomorrow. That's where the waters get muddied don't they. It depends upon what we are talking about. I'm talking about morals and ethics most of the time. It is morals and ethics that comprise what we are. It is those attributes that define us. Everything else either adds or subtracts, the yes and no of humanity Consider something as basic as taking a life. I think we all agree it is never alright to murder someone. I do believe I have a right to prevent someone from taking my life and for that reason I will defend myself, exception number one to the rule. Still, generally speaking that is a yes and no answer. The answer is no! The reality is now that I have allowed one exception, others certainly seem possible. The yes answer can be justified. Is it right?

 How do we deal with those that don't agree with our answers? Is that conditional as well?  Depends upon what power that person wields over us. In short what can they deprive us of? What wants or needs do they control? A great deal of that is dependent upon you, what power you allow them to have. If what you feel they can provide for you outweighs your convictions, they certainly can control you. When their worth is less than your convictions, not so much. The reality is, there are conditions imposed upon us. Isn't that why we say " unconditional " love? Is that an achievable goal? I admit to not having that capacity, I do have requirements. When a person fails to meet my minimum requirements I dismiss that person. I will not change my standard to meet a lower bar! That's not to say my bar is very high, or superior to another's, just that it is my bar, my standard and I seldom change that. 

 I have discovered the older I get the less likely a change takes place. Some would call that being stuck in your way, I say it is having reached an informed decision, and deciding upon the answer. Remember I believe the world is a binary place and the answer is either right or wrong. You do have to choose! As far as passing or failing I'll just have to be patient to find out the result, I don't believe I'll get a do over or get graded on a curve. No, the answer is going to be Yes or No. Either the gate is open or it's shut.

 Some will go through life attempting to satisfy their every want. Other are satisfied with their needs. The majority of us live somewhere in between the two extremes. It is a binary thing, a beginning and an end. Well at least in this world, this reality.  As near as man can tell space is an infinite place and no telling what may be there. Our bodies are certainly finite, we will all die. One day our species will be extinct! I have no illusions to the contrary. Everything comes and goes. But I believe there is a right and wrong. What's right is always right, and what's wrong is always wrong. Now those conditions may not always be the same for each of us, in fact I'd say with a degree of certainty that they aren't. That explains the friction. When you are trying to satisfy your wants, and those wants don't align with your needs, it causes an issue. It's a personal thing. You want everyone to want what you want. That's the bottom line. Our needs are basically the same, food, clothing, shelter, companionship, love, a sense of worth. Those are the things we need. What separates us are our wants. What do you want? Seriously, what do you want? 

 When you can answer that question you will have decided. I admit to not having decided, just yet. I'm still pondering the question. I can list a lot of potentional answers, ones that I'm certain would be acceptable to most. I'm certain I can provide a response that satisfies others but does it satisfy me? Not yet, I'm not satisfied. I don't feel like I've accomplished whatever I'm here to do. I have to figure out what that is. I have to satisfy a need. I could spend my lifetime attempting to satisfy my wants and be left unfilled. Money can't buy happiness. I have to discover the need, perhaps we all do. If I am to continue I need to be right. There really are only two choices. Right and wrong. How can something so simple be so hard? That's a real mystery.     

 

  

lower the price

 I saw an article where the Hallmark channel was airing a commercial with lesbian brides kissing one another. According to the article the Hallmark channel had received over a million protests concerning that. The last article I saw about that said they removed them. I admit to not having seen them or if I did paying attention to that. Not that I watch the Hallmark channel all that often you understand. I did have the impression that the Hallmark channel was a bastion of traditional family values and American culture. That perception has now been altered. All is apparently not as it appears. If what the article says is fact, they are now showing gay marriage as a natural and normal thing, that does change that perception. Has the Hallmark channel now decided that Love is Love? Well, I agree. Love is Love but Love doesn't mean sexual activity! And for me that is a distinction not to be overlooked. But I'm not going into that discussion this morning. 

 I'm not going to preach about morals, ethics, or religious values. I'm not going to point out that engaging in homosexual behavior is an aberration of societal norms. No, I'm not going to talk about that because that isn't what the Hallmark channel based that decision on. That is to say the decision to air such movies. That decision was based solely on economic considerations. We need viewers! The only way the channel stays on the air is by being profitable. That's the reality. All other considerations take the hindmost! Yes I find it a bit upsetting but I'm not surprised by it at all. I've been paying attention over the years. I've been watching as all this " inclusiveness " permeates society. In general it has been quite profitable. Profitable for attorneys, profitable for those willing to comply, profitable in many ways. It sure hasn't done much for the moral fabric of our society but it has made a profit. And that's the motivation here, profit. 

 For the Hallmark channel it's all about viewership. That is a simple economic reality. I don't believe anyone has a valid argument to the contrary. It is an indicator. Apparently the viewership needed bolstering and that is one avenue to take. Taking the moral high ground wasn't an option. I wonder if that is based on the Neilsen ratings? If so that just goes to show that the majority of people aren't watching the " wholesome " programming being offered. Of course we do have thousands protesting the objectifying of women while they purchased 50 million copies of Shades of Grey! I'm not saying the public is fickle though, just that entertainment comes first. Look all I'm saying is I've watched the church go from supporting the 94 verses in the Bible about man shall not lie with man, and the one hundred verses about woman shall not lie with woman, to having Gay priests and performing Gay marriages. Did that have anything to do with attendance? I can't say for sure but it appears logical. As attendance ( viewership ) decreases the format has to change. When I was young it was the introduction of guitar playing hippies in the sanctuary. Today they have full rock and roll bands! 

 You could say as long as the message gets across the messenger doesn't matter. The issue there is, what's the message? Is the message , be profitable? Is that what we are now going to base our ethics upon, profitability? Majority makes the rules, right! When the rules begin to affect profit, change thre rules. I understand that and it works in business. Still you must remember that you get only what you pay for. The big question is, what are you buying? Then having decided that you have to ask, is it worth the price? A bargain today to last an eternity? I don't know, in my experience you get only what you pay for. Quality comes at a price, some would call it sacrifice. If you can't sell that, lower the price. 

 

   

reading the signs

 Well I woke up this morning to hear the news. The service academies are under investigation! Apparently some cadets from those institutions were seen " flashing the sign. " It wasn't okay, it was white supremacy! That's right, they have it, right there on video tape, in front of the entire nation. I had to listen a couple times to understand what they were talking about. Now I'm informed. The Okay sign isn't okay anymore, it's white supremacy! Those cadets were flashing the sign!
 I know I'm getting older, I'm not so hip anymore. I know I'm a boomer, just an old guy that lives in the past. How did I miss this one? Now I grew up with an understanding of free speech. I also grew up with an understanding of sign language. Well it wasn't sign language it was gestures. Certain gestures indicated certain things. Those gesture however were never investigated, they were understood fully and would be met with a counter gesture and often violence! Yes there were secret signs. Those gestures were shared among close friends, like a secret handshake. We learned that from the " black spot " in Treasure Island. Pirates and other unsavory characters used those secret signs. If those signs were flashed to the general public most wouldn't know what they meant. I certainly thought the gesture the cadets flashed was ok. I mean, it meant okay. If it was intended to convey white supremacy, just who were they conveying that message to? I'm guessing it was each other.
 Well I want to know where the " handbook " for this is. How am I supposed to know the secret handshake? Maybe we could get a definitive list published, put it on Facebook for us old people to understand. If I wave hello to someone, am I waving hello or am I supporting something else? I don't know. What if I just keep my hands in my pockets, or behind my back, or something else. What am I supposed to do? I do know at least one gesture that is universally understood. Having been in the Navy and traveled the world I know for a fact it is understood everywhere. Fact is there are a few others that convey a message understood everywhere.
 In baseball it is alternatively a good and bad thing to steal the signs. It just depends which team you are on when the signs are being stolen. That's why they are always changing the signs. Of course the catcher and pitcher coordinate their signs so they understand. Well that's how it is supposed to work anyway, that gets mixed up sometimes. My only point there being, someone has to tell the other about the sign. How am I supposed to know the secret sign? More importantly though, what makes the sign official? I mean where does the final authority lie for the meaning of a sign?  Okay was always Okay but now it's not Okay it's white power and that's not Okay but I flash the Okay gesture to show you I'm Okay with that. It's all very confusing. So if you are investigating whether the cadets were flashing the Okay sign, they were we have video proof of that, what authority says that it means white power and not okay? Who's making the rules?
 Well I think it is all silly. An investigation? Into what exactly? Yes cadets were making the okay sign. No need to investigate that, just look at the film. So are you saying you are going to investigate whether that gesture meant white power to them? Tell me a certain gesture is bad, it's unfavorable, I could face discipline for using that gesture. Now ask me if I was using that sign? What, you mean the okay sign? Yes I flashed the okay sign as a sign of approval. I saw a friend of mine and flashed okay to him/her. That's what I did, was that wrong? I didn't know that. I do remember when I was in basic training, many years ago now, I was marching with my company when I spotted my best friend marching with his. You can't speak, you can't wave at one another, but I did make the Okay sign as my hand swung forward by my side. Maybe he saw it, maybe he didn't, eyes front you know. I wasn't making a racial or political statement, I was saying, I'm okay.
 Not sure when it started but we all know the high five. In the movies you did that when meeting Indians; HOW. LOL. They didn't high five you back exactly, they just didn't try to kill you. Now I'm wondering if that sign is offensive to native Americans today. Apparently the tomahawk chop was supposed to be at one time anyway. I've seen a lot of complicated handshakes involving multiple gestures. There was a time when I remembered all the hand gestures you flashed to a crane operator, some would get me investigated today. It's a strange world we live in. Now the young men and woman that are being trained to lead the nations armed forces are being investigated over a gesture. Strangely, if certain minority groups use gestures we are supposed to respect that, be inclusive and empathize with whatever sentiment they are trying to express. It will be shouted from the rooftops, it's their constitutional right! But if you flash the okay sign, you will be investigated! Confusing to say the least. I have to say I watched the game, I watched all the pageantry and never once did I notice anyone flashing the okay sign. I guess it s a lack of " awareness " on my part. Awareness is important these days you know. You have to be aware. In short you had best be paranoid about everything you say or do lest you find yourself being investigated! Awareness, it isn't something I have a problem with. If you talk to me you will be aware of exactly what I'm saying. As a rule I'm aware of what others are saying, unless they start using secret signs. In that situation I simply ask, what? Or I will say, is that Okay?  If you can't hear me or I can't shout loud enough I'll just flash the sign. I don't mean white power though, I mean Okay, Okay.
 Maybe we just need to change all that. Do you remember watching quick draw McGraw? He had his sidekick, Bobbalouy. At the end of the cartoon quick draw would be driving the stage coach. Bobbalouy was riding in a suitcase strapped to the back, his head would pop out and answer when Quick draw asked S'right he said S'right. No flashing hand signs, no confusion. Sign, sign, everywhere a sign, do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign? I can sign up, but I can't sign down.  I can sign in followed by signing out. I can see the sign, I can't always read the sign. So what does the sign mean? Depends on who wrote it I suppose. Then there is always the question, what's your sign? It's all just silly if you ask me.  

the best gift

 In thinking about my Christmas memories I don't recall ever being disappointed. I wonder if that was simply because I didn't expect much. It was the way I was raised. Now I had two brothers and a sister and we were all treated the same. I've heard of parents playing favorites but I can honestly say, mine didn't. We all got pretty much the same at Christmastime. It wasn't that we got a lot of stuff, it just seemed that way. Of course when you are trying to recall fifty plus years back an accurate count just isn't possible. The important thing is what we remember, not what was. Know what I mean? All I have are pleasant memories of Christmas morning as a child, Santa Claus always stopped at my house, and I always got gifts. There are ones I remember vividly, ones I remember wanting so badly, and there are many I have forgotten completely. My stocking was always full and presents under the tree. What more could you ask for? If there was a disappointment it was temporary.
 The truth is I only remember really wanting one thing, and that was when I was 15 or so. I wanted a String Ray bicycle because they were so cool. Yes I wanted that bicycle so I could be " Joe cool " and impress my friends. Yes, I got that bike, straight from the Sears and Roebuck catalogue. And yes, I thought I was cool. What the ultimate fate of that bicycle was I couldn't say. I got a drivers license a year or so later and that bike just wasn't cool anymore. Before that bicycle I'm certain I had made lists, sent letters to Santa, although I can't say I remember ever doing so. I don't remember when Santa went from a possibility to a pleasant memory. But, as I said, I was never disappointed. It's the greatest gift a parent can give their children, a great childhood.
  I'm certain there were times when I didn't get what I wanted but I always got what I needed. Now I realize the story is much better when  you can tell how tough you had it, how much you had to do without. Fact is, that isn't the way I remember it at all. The things denied me were things I really didn't need in the first place. There was a degree of practicality in every decision made at my house. It was a rare occasion when " luxuries " were purchased. And " luxuries " were things like designer clothing, expensive shoes, coats and the like. Sears and Roebuck, Montgomery Ward and J.C. Penny were my clothiers. Well, some clothing did come from Brills' store, if the need was more immediate. Brills' sold a lot of factory seconds, what we would call discount clothing these days. I never saw a thing wrong with them. My family never went to a restaurant to eat. The closest we got to that was getting a pizza from Ma Bergman or Sams' bar and grill. And that didn't happen often.
 Perhaps it was that upbringing that never left me disappointed because I simply didn't expect much. That is to say, I felt secure, I felt that I would get whatever I needed to have, but I didn't expect extra. Just because the other kids had one didn't mean I was getting one! Other than that bicycle I don't remember ever wanting something like that either. What I mean is, whatever was the cool thing at the time. Today it might be a cell phone or a video gaming platform. I'm thinking maybe it was hot wheels or something like that in my day. Honestly, I don't remember and that tells me a lot today. That's where wisdom resides, in your memories, in your past, and when you can apply that today, you understand.
 And so as Christmas approaches once again memories return. Christmas is the most sentimental of the holidays for me. I expect it is that way for most of us. Yes, I was raised in the Christian tradition and I'm fully aware of the real meaning of Christmas. We did receive the gift of the Christ child, the greatest gift of all time. I was taught as a child that it was Jesus's birthday. The wise men brought him gifts. I have many very fond, very comforting memories of celebrating Christmas at the church. When I was small it was the birthday party for Jesus, then I began to help with the decorating, help with the party. It was a great time. Santa Claus always arrived for Jesus's birthday party as well. There were gifts for all, there were Christmas carols sung. It was only after all was done, after years had passed and those memories dimmed that I began to understand. I'm trying to understand still. But I do know this, I had a great childhood, I've had great friends, a wonderful family, grandchildren and no end in sight! I'm not disappointed. Could be that I've never expected much, or it could be that I have received it all. A gift. And that's what Christmas is all about.      

Watching the game

 Today is the Army-Navy game. I'll be watching and cheering for that Navy team. Go Navy, beat Army. I didn't attend the Naval Academy although I was stationed there at one point in my career. I only live about 30 minutes from Annapolis and go there to use the base Exchange. As a result of all that I have taken a little interest in watching the game each year. It's a lot of pageantry, pomp and circumstance. Mostly, it's just fun to watch. And that's what it is supposed to be, a game. Of course it has become much more than that, much more.

 I heard on the news that some rules have been changed. These rules concern the players, not the game rules. I didn't catch the details and a google search didn't provide any answers. I admit I haven't spent a great deal of time researching that. The thing is, from what little I heard,  players may now defer their military service to go play professional football. The reason for that change is recruitment. It is difficult to recruit top high school players with dreams of going pro, to join the service. 

 I get it, it is a big commitment. Many want to be parotitic, serve the nation, and get paid while doing it. The service academies do provide everything, housing, food, clothing, not to mention education, along with a salary. In exchange you have to commit for ten years. Four years of school followed by six years of service. But if that student feels like they can go pro, that's definitely where the money is! They don't want to commit, hence the rules are changing. As with any college, sports, especially football brings in the money. The Alumni and others support that program generously. A winning football team is very important to the economics of the athletic program. But at the academies the focus is on Service. A delicate balance. 

 Now there has always been, shall we say, special considerations for athletes. It has never been obvious, no special rules for grade point average, class attendance, that sort of thing. It has always been an " awareness " for lack of a better term. You know what I mean, like the star athlete at the high school, some special considerations. But if this new rule is implemented that would be a major change in policy. If you can defer your service because of a better economic opportunity what is that saying? You know during the Civil War a wealthy man could just pay another five hundred dollars to take his place. The ability to defer your service, your commitment, because of athletic talent strikes me as no different. Truth is, I find it a bit troubling. Are the academies now going to say, if you are a star athlete you really don't have to serve, you can get a free pass? 

 Like I said I don't really know the details but I didn't like the sound of it. If you are able to defer your service because of economic opportunity how is that fair to the other cadets? What is more important? A winning football team or a trained fighting force? Make no mistake that is what the objective of this change is, the ability to recruit top notch players. But, should the academies be concerned with winning football games, or recruiting military officers to lead the nations armed forces? Also if this person has their service deferred to play pro ball and is subsequently injured playing pro ball, what then? What happens if he is not able to fulfill his commitment? Is it a simple matter of " paying back " the academy for the cost of that education? Is that it, an economic decision? If a non-athlete chooses to not serve after completing training can they just " pay them back" and not serve? I'm not a pro athlete can I arrange a payment plan? 

 I don't know I just don't like it. Yes there have been a number of players that went on to play pro ball after attending the service academies. It's my understanding they still served their time in the reserves, going to training once a month and " active " duty two weeks a year, but don't quote me on that. The service academies cite these players as representing their branch of the service to the public in general. Their spin on it is it will increase the desire for a student to attend their academy. I'm not so certain about that and apparently the service academies are finally willing to admit to a reality, money talks! Now I'm not saying great athletes can't be great patriot's! I am in no way calling their integrity into question. I am saying if you have a choice between receiving a pro contract, in 2018 that would be a min of 480,000 dollars, this year 495,000 dollars, or serving four years active duty in the Army or Navy, what would you choose? Look, if I am recruited by the Navy or whatever I have to figure they believe I have some pretty good skills. So I could then gamble just a bit. I can go to the service academy, tuition free, all expenses paid, heck I'll even get paid and enjoy the prestige of attending that academy. I do have to commit to ten years though, four in school and six years after. Still if I'm good enough, and why wouldn't I believe that I am, that six year can be deferred. When you are 18 that would have to sound awful tempting. I also wonder what if? What if that player doesn't get an offer from the pros? How is that person going to perform in a career that they may or may not have wanted in the first place? I don't know. 

 To me this is just another example of showing where our priorities lie. They lie with economics. It is more important to recruit top athletes than it is to recruit those with a desire to serve their country. Incentives are being provided to facilitate that. Yes the service academy coaches complain that they are at a disadvantage in recruiting players. I can't disagree with that, it is difficult to get a player to commit to that. I know, I tried to get my grandson, who is not a player, to consider the Naval academy. He didn't want to make that commitment and I respect that. If there had been a possible " way out " perhaps his decision would have at least taken longer. My thought is just, what are we recruiting for, football or the Navy? That's my only point.   

George's memories

 Some time back my wife was given a box full of slides. You remember them, those little square pictures mounted in a cardboard frame. She was also given the projector to view them. Yes, it's old technology but still functions just fine. It was rather costly technology back in the day. You needed a 35MM camera and sent that film out for processing. My parents never had such, we were still using the old brownie camera. I do remember when Dad upgraded to one of those new polaroid instant cameras. Man, that something. The film was costly though and not many of those pictures survive today for some reason. I mean, my folks had an album full of pictures but they didn't have those polaroids mounted in their pages. Today I have a good number of old photographs gathered over the years. Some are very old, some were printed yesterday, but I don't believe I have any taken with a polaroid instant camera. I do have a Kodak instant camera. I don't recall the year that came out but remember it was taken off the market. Polaroid successfully sued Kodak for stealing their technology. At the time you could return the camera to place of purchase and receive a full refund. I kept mine because I was too lazy to take it back. Now it's a odd little item to have, still not worth a thing. but something different. But I've wandered off a bit. I was talking about this box full of slides.
 My wife hasn't viewed all the slides yet, in fact, only a small number of them. These slides were all taken by her Uncle George. These pictures are most likely from the late fifties and early sixties. Uncle George kept up with the technology of the day. He did move on to video tapes early on in that tech. Unfortunately Uncle George became legally blind later on in life. I can remember him showing us some video tapes he had made, although he really only knew what they were by the sound. Oh, there were times when he could see pictures greatly magnified, but for over time all those pictures were lost to him. With that loss went the identity of many of the people in those pictures. There are also many places lost to time. I thought of that the other day when I ran across that box of slides. My thought was " forgotten memories." I felt a deep sense of sadness about that. Being a sentimental type it bothers me that all those memories don't have a home. The memories are there, captured in time but there is no one left to free them.
 I've been thinking about this problem and doing a little research. It seems you can scan slides and digitize them. From what I have read they make special scanners just for that but others may work satisfactorily. Of course I am looking for the least expensive way to go about that. If I had the money to spend I would send them all to the lab and have them professionally processed. I'd have them complied and published in a book. But that is the stuff of disposable income dreams. I don't have much money that is disposable! So my thought is if I can figure a way to do this, I will compile those slides into a book of sorts. I would write an explanatory page for future generations to understand who took those pictures. I would identify anyone that I could. That wouldn't be many I'm certain of that, but my wife should be able to spot some familiar faces. Whatever the outcome though I would want those pictures preserved, kept in the family. I have seen family photos thrown in the trash before and it is a sad sight. No memory should ever be discarded!
 I am thinking that those old photographs will be an interest. I have some that I can't identify, they belonged to my Dad, pictures from the war. Those memories went with him and today those faces stare at me unknowing, or do they? Some pictures are interesting just for the items in the background, old buildings, old automobiles, those sort of things. The clothes the people are wearing and their hairstyles can amuse. I'm drawn to them even though I don't know the person. The attraction is stronger however when it is known that they are members of your family, your ancestors. There are the people of a world gone by, a world your people lived in. So for those reasons I will do what I can with those slides. It's a project for 2020.
 Uncle George, the world through his lens. He would have been ninety nine this year. He does hold a special place in my heart and in my memories. A lifelong bachelor that loved family more than anything else. The reason he never married, never had a family of his own is known only to him. But he recorded his life, his moments and his memories. There are there, in old photographs, on slides, on video tape. His picture sits atop my desk joining my family members. Those memories are his. George's memories. Memories lost in time.
PS: after further thought I do have one polaroid picture. It was taken circa 1968 with the Polaroid " swinger " camera. It is my sister in her new home. I carried that picture for a number years in my wallet. Now it is faded, wrinkled and barely visible. I have it stored away. I had almost forgotten about that.   

OK Boomers

 It's a guilty pleasure, one I should really just quit, but I'm human and subject to faults. I can't help but state my truths on postings from the New York Times. The guilty pleasure in that? The knowledge that my comment will be followed with a string of negative responses. In recent weeks it has been Ok Boomer. I can't but chuckle and be amused by that. I suppose I'm supposed to be offended. Things is we boomers were taught something when we were children to counteract that. " Sticks and Stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. " Yeah, these folks seem to have forgotten that we boomers were taught to " get over it. " And that's another phrase that will set them off at the New York Times. I just can't help it, it's amusing to me. 

 In their comments it is frequently mentioned that I used to work at Save-A-Lot. That tells me these folks are reading my profile page. It is frequently insinuated that working at the market is somehow a less than honorable job. I wonder if I replaced that line on my profile page with, Professor of Phycology with a PhD in interpersonal relationships if there response would be different? Somehow I don't think they would believe that as quickly as they believe I worked at Save-A-Lot. Strangely no one has ever mentioned that I retired from the Navy except to say the military is for those not smart enough to go to college. Then they thank me for my service. That always cracks me up. Another amusement for me is when these folks attempt to just change basic facts altogether. Today it is, that's what he said but not what he meant. Yes, these folks have now decided that what they think a phrase may mean counts as fact! Its' like how terminating a pregnancy isn't killing a baby. Yes terminating a pregnancy will prevent the growth and development of a human being but that doesn't mean its' killing that human being. 

 Well I don't intend to get started on all of that. I was just sitting here this morning chuckling over comments written yesterday in response to mine. I just don't understand how this folks think at all. I did see an article in the Times about four, women of color as they put it, holding four major beauty pageant titles. It's the first time in history. I couldn't help but scratch my head on that one. Wasn't it the Times that was railing against beauty pageants just a short time back. Didn't they say beauty pageants were objectifying women? Didn't they champion the idea of removing the swim suit competition from those pageants for that very reason? So I'm confused, is wining a beauty pageant a notable achievement, empowering, if you are " women of color. " Is that what you are now promoting New York Times? In fairness I didn't receive many comments about that remark. That usually happens when their isn't a popular and current argument to the contrary. Following that I read where Time magazine named Greta as Person of the Year. So I couldn't help but point out that this young girl, the one that played hooky from school to protest outside the Swedish parliament and subsequently travel to America to throw a hissy fit is somehow their choice? No mention for those that were killed protesting for freedom in Hong Kong? You know, people that actually were doing something other than repeating a script! Now that really set them off. This young adult that is a champion! She will change the world, literally. Because of her comments, her passion, the climate will change! Well now I believe Moses parted the sea but Greta ain't changing the climate. Now, that's a fact.

 Well, like I said it's a guilty pleasure. I do enjoy the comments , the interaction. I'm amused by those remarks. It is rather like being in the schoolyard. Name calling. OK Boomer. LOL. My usual response to that is, is that the best you can do? I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you! Nah, Nah, Nah. Yes I'm a Boomer. I already know that, what else you got? I told you the truth and BOOM your head exploded. It's funny every time. Oh and Trump will not be removed from office. Yes it's a prediction, soon to be fact. Here's another fact, the climate will keep changing. Or here's another fact, there are only two genders. One more fact, Boomers will cast more votes in the upcoming election than any other demographic. So when the results are announced, the results verified and codified, you can then say, OK Boomers.  And we will answer, you're welcome. 

All in time

 Can't wait till next year because there will be no surprises. Why you ask? Well because hindsight is 2020! I know, I know, but I couldn't wait. So that bit of levity is behind me now, ironically I saw it coming, even though there are those that claim I'm myopic. Sorry couldn't help it. But I will try not to tell any more corny jokes, Dad jokes I think they are called. All I really know is I enjoy those types of jokes most of all. Wit and humor go hand in hand.
 One good thing about next year is we will see an end to this impeachment nonsense. Unfortunately the whole " We hate Trump " thing won't be going anywhere. I predict the left will find something else to complain about. Most likely it will be new trade agreements ( USMCA ) or we are being too prosperous and a great fall is inevitable! Politics as usual. Now I'm not saying it is only the Democrats, the Republicans will be doing there fair share of politicking. It's going to be a long hot summer. Global warming most likely caused by all the hot air those politicians will be spouting. I'm also predicting the results of the election will be disputed regardless of who is announced as the winner. If that individual wins by popular vote I'm certain there will be a great hue and cry that the popular vote should be abolished. I'll see that in hindsight. Opps, I just couldn't resist saying that.
 I was surprised this morning to see some snow. It isn't winter yet! Damn global warming I guess. Well it always gets a little warmer just before it snows. That's an old folk thing and one I believe has validity. I don't really care what the actual science says about it, it's like seeing a whooly worm. Funny, haven't seen one of those in a good while now that I think about it. I'm not feeling anything in my bones, yet, maybe I have to get older first. Maybe next year, I don't know. Maybe my bones lack empathy. Has my marrow grown cold?
  If hindsight is 2020 I lost that about 1963, 2020 vision that is. I know, I just can't stop. I'm skeptical about getting it back! One Christmas all I needed was my two front teeth, this year a major overhaul wouldn't be out of line. The golden years? More like fools gold I'd say. Oh well, I'll still buy a lottery ticket, you just never know. There are some that would wish to leave this world but I want to stick around to see what happens. Most of all I'm waiting to see justice take its' course and it will. I firmly believe the universe will dispense whatever justice is deemed appropriate. Patience is a virtue, that's what I've been told. Yes I'm impatient at times but there isn't anything one can do about it. All in time. All in time.