what makes you happy

 If only we lived life the way we remember it. Do you know what I mean? Why was everything so much better, so much more fun in the past? That's the perception most of us have anyway. I suppose when we are depressed we are recalling the rest,  but I was just thinking if our lives were lived the way we remember it, we wouldn't ever be depressed. That's why we say, the good old days. We don't say the bad days, unless we add, are behind us. The bad days are always behind us, never ahead. We don't look forward to bad days. I always heard, better days are coming. Isn't that the hope of man? Better days are coming, all we have to do is be patient. It is others that stand in the way of that, not us. Another perception, sometimes misguided, sometimes not. The challenge is recognizing when to stay and when to go. Do we wait or do we go in search of? Depends upon what you're looking for I suppose. 

 Is happiness dependent upon finding what you are looking for? Yes, it certainly is. Personal happiness is completely dependent upon finding your own happiness. We may try to find that by helping others, bringing happiness to them, and so enjoying happiness vicariously. For some that is enough. Some find their happiness at the expense of others, satisfying a need to be dominant. That action may go by many names. The least of which is successful. Climbing the social ladder, progressing through that strata to each a goal. Whether the goal is wealth, power or popularity others must be pushed aside to achieve that. The goal is the justification! Sadly it is often a hollow victory, having won the game, only to discover there are no more players. There is no one to share the happiness you feel, the happiness turns to guilt.

 What is it that makes the good old days good? That's what we need to discover. I think if we can define that, happiness is achievable in the future as well. Well it seems like that would be consistency. Einstein is credited with saying, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It stands to reason then if we do the same thing over, we should get the same result. You would have to be insane to think otherwise. Seems logical enough to me. So what we should strive to achieve is what phycologists call cognitive consonance. Cognitive consonance is " the state of harmony and internal consistency among a persons' attitudes, behaviors', beliefs, and/or knowledge." In other words, no problems. At least no problem with yourself, the problem lies with others. The others attempting to upset your inner tranquility. They are suffering from cognitive dissonance, which is the opposite state of being. They are the people constantly adopting, then discarding, ideas, concepts, and reasoning. In short they are constantly trying something new but never finding happiness. Why? Because happiness is in consistency. Well, at least that's what I think anyway. It's great to try new things, nothing wrong with that, but you do have to compare it to the past. What made you happy then, will most likely make you happy now. Happiness resides in inner tranquility. Thomas Jefferson wrote: " It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness. "   

 You know people seldom listen to those who shout. They just react. Battles start with a shout but discussion begins with a whisper. It is only when we are calm that we truly hear. We all learned that as children. That's why out teachers had us sit quietly while she read the book. You can't pay attention if you are distracted. Too often we allow life to distract us and we wind up confused. Live life the way you remember it, you'll be happier.