being conscious

 It has been said that if you want to know what you believe , write. I have been writing for over nine years now. I'm still not certain I know what to believe, and so have begun to question that. But then again I find I often ask questions of myself while writing. Yesterday I asked myself, are there secrets in heaven? What I was thinking was, when you die, do you then know it all? Or could it be that when you die, that's all you are going to know? An interesting question. 

 Death is the biggest mystery of man. Will the mystery be solved when you die? Well that depends upon life doesn't it? Or at least what we believe life to be. And just what would that be? Consciousness? Being aware of who and where you are, is that consciousness? Yes, I guess that is right.

 Do we live life in response to our conscience? I believe we react to life according to our conscience. The big mystery is where does that conscience stem from? Is it from a higher power or is our conscience formed by society? That is to say, is our conscience formed by the society in which we live or is it a part of our genetic makeup? Well now, isn't that what mental health is really all about? Mental health is an attempt to manipulate consciousness. The objective being to get the individual to respond in a way acceptable to society in general. Actions outside of that are, well, crazy.

 There are times when we don't react according to our conscience. Those are the times we react according to our wants or needs. We are trying to please ourselves. Those are the times we need to examine our motivations. Are we here to please ourselves? Or are we here to serve a higher purpose? The later is certainly the answer most will give. It speaks to our conscience doesn't it? Who can say, in good conscience, I'm the only one that matters? Some try, I believe that, but no one succeeds in making themselves happy. Happiness comes from others, as a gift to us. It is freely given, in an exchange. To quote the Bible, you reap what you sow. Yes, I believe that. I also believe we don't all have to grow the same crop! Seems to me that is where most conflict arises. But if you study such things you will find most everything is interdependent, one upon the other. There is a benefit to everything. 

 Now if our conscience is derived from society and we respond according to that, it follows that society determines right and wrong. That's the function of conscience isn't it? What happens when society decides that right and wrong are choices to be made? Right and wrong become subjective, thats what happens. Society then becomes the judge. Oh that can have its' benefits, no doubt about that. Benefit to the individual, but to the whole, not so much. The individual gets to mask their wrongdoing in society. But there is a price to pay for that, a personal price. Happiness is the cost. We  react according to the society. When that society changes so must our reaction. Now that becomes a problem for people of conviction. That is, for people who believe in a higher power. It makes no difference whatsoever what the name or identity of that power is, the importance lies in recognizing the higher power. That power resides in our consciousness. As Thomas Jefferson put it, we are " endowed by our creator "  I believe he was correct. We are endowed by our creator, whatever we conceive him to be. Oh, and pay no attention to the pronoun, it's just a vehicle. 

 I believe this. If you find your conscience in opposition to society, look to society for the problem. I believe my creator knows what is right and wrong and endowed me with that information. Whether or not it was written down in a text isn't important to understanding the message. I believe we are all born with that message. All we have to do is listen to it! But it isn't that simple. We are humans after all. We will respond according to our wants and needs, sometimes in contrast to our conscience. When we take care of our immediate need. Well, it is easier to look at our feet rather than stare at the horizon. That's the reality for the majority of us. Only the really special ones can look to that horizon without squinting just a bit. That's what those tinges of guilt we feel are, it's when we squint just a little. The object being to shield our eyes from the horizon, the place where the truth resides. 

 All that has brought me back to the beginning, to the first question. Are there secrets in heaven? Will we know it all? I wonder too, if the tally is based on choices. A check mark for every time you acted in good conscience and one for when you didn't. Good and bad. We do say someone acted in good conscience even when that action may have gone against our wishes. We recognize that. Seldom do we address a bad conscience, why is that? That's because our conscience is always right! Has to be, if our higher power is our conscience and not society. You can't have a God that is fallible. If you ever find yourself deciding that your God is wrong, you have decided that he is no God!