“Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
― Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit
That passage is from the book The Velveteen Rabbit. It was required reading when I was a little guy and a story that stuck with me. I took the moral of the story to heart and hold it there still. It takes time to become real. First you have to overcome who you think you are supposed to be and accept who you are. Then, you have to battle what others think you should become. In the end, if you are lucky, you find someone that loves you, cares for you and accepts you just the way you are. You do become " real " and there is no going back from that. You discover that ultimate truth, it's not that people don't love you, it is that they don't understand. And so the final step is to forgive those that don't understand. It is perhaps the most difficult step of all.
“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept." That was the observation of the author back in 1922 when she wrote the book. How astute an observation ,and one right to the point of it. You do have to be tough, not getting injured easily. You can not be fragile in spirit, for it is your spirit that will become real one day. At least that is what I took from that book. It is that I woke up thinking about.
I think maybe these thoughts come to me in the night after a day of social media. Years back, it was books, then newspapers that stimulated our thoughts. Radio and television came along and added viewpoints. And now, now we have social media. It is a place where every manner of thought is openly discussed or argued over ! We are interacting with people on every step on their journeys. It is a reflection of our society and it can be a shock ! It does take a long time to " become. " Becoming is understanding. Understanding is empathy, the ability to experience what others feel. The tricky part is to understand that I can empathize with you, without agreeing with you. Having experienced whatever it is you are now feeling does not mean I should handle you with care. Remember it doesn't happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. That isn't what loving and caring is all about. That isn't how understanding is gained. Understanding is gained through the trials and tribulations we all must endure in our lives.
But I am thinking about all of this in a larger sense. I'm thinking about the direction our country is taking. If all these folks on social media are to be believed, we are lost. Our country has been loved but its' time is over. It is old and some say getting shabby, it should be replaced. Just like the velveteen rabbit there are those that would trash it. Let's just grab for the newest toy, the progressive one with all the bells and whistles. All flash and glitter, pleasing to ourselves but with out any substantive qualities.
When I see that, read about it and watch all these demonstrations and demands I feel like the velveteen rabbit. “Of what use was it to be loved and lose one's beauty and become Real if it all ended like this? And a tear, a real tear, trickled down his little shabby velvet nose and fell to the ground.” That's the way I find myself feeling at times. I don't expect any " magic tear " to make a new flower bloom. No fairy will appear to make it all real again. No, the best I can hope for is to get at least one other person to understand.
I don't know, maybe we should trash this social media, get rid of radio and television. Maybe, we should just stick to the books. The only distraction after reading a book is thinking about what it meant.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.”
That was is response to the Velveteen rabbit when he asked, Does it hurt ?
― Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit
That passage is from the book The Velveteen Rabbit. It was required reading when I was a little guy and a story that stuck with me. I took the moral of the story to heart and hold it there still. It takes time to become real. First you have to overcome who you think you are supposed to be and accept who you are. Then, you have to battle what others think you should become. In the end, if you are lucky, you find someone that loves you, cares for you and accepts you just the way you are. You do become " real " and there is no going back from that. You discover that ultimate truth, it's not that people don't love you, it is that they don't understand. And so the final step is to forgive those that don't understand. It is perhaps the most difficult step of all.
“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept." That was the observation of the author back in 1922 when she wrote the book. How astute an observation ,and one right to the point of it. You do have to be tough, not getting injured easily. You can not be fragile in spirit, for it is your spirit that will become real one day. At least that is what I took from that book. It is that I woke up thinking about.
I think maybe these thoughts come to me in the night after a day of social media. Years back, it was books, then newspapers that stimulated our thoughts. Radio and television came along and added viewpoints. And now, now we have social media. It is a place where every manner of thought is openly discussed or argued over ! We are interacting with people on every step on their journeys. It is a reflection of our society and it can be a shock ! It does take a long time to " become. " Becoming is understanding. Understanding is empathy, the ability to experience what others feel. The tricky part is to understand that I can empathize with you, without agreeing with you. Having experienced whatever it is you are now feeling does not mean I should handle you with care. Remember it doesn't happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. That isn't what loving and caring is all about. That isn't how understanding is gained. Understanding is gained through the trials and tribulations we all must endure in our lives.
But I am thinking about all of this in a larger sense. I'm thinking about the direction our country is taking. If all these folks on social media are to be believed, we are lost. Our country has been loved but its' time is over. It is old and some say getting shabby, it should be replaced. Just like the velveteen rabbit there are those that would trash it. Let's just grab for the newest toy, the progressive one with all the bells and whistles. All flash and glitter, pleasing to ourselves but with out any substantive qualities.
When I see that, read about it and watch all these demonstrations and demands I feel like the velveteen rabbit. “Of what use was it to be loved and lose one's beauty and become Real if it all ended like this? And a tear, a real tear, trickled down his little shabby velvet nose and fell to the ground.” That's the way I find myself feeling at times. I don't expect any " magic tear " to make a new flower bloom. No fairy will appear to make it all real again. No, the best I can hope for is to get at least one other person to understand.
I don't know, maybe we should trash this social media, get rid of radio and television. Maybe, we should just stick to the books. The only distraction after reading a book is thinking about what it meant.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.”
That was is response to the Velveteen rabbit when he asked, Does it hurt ?
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