Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

what if

 Is it ever too late ? The stock answer is, no. The reality is just the opposite. There are instances when for practical and pragmatic reasons you are just too old. It has become too late. I find myself faced with just such situations ever more frequently. I suppose that is another byproduct of aging, along with aches and pains. It is a sadness that washes over me every now and again. If only is a sad place. Not that I have lived a life of excitement and adventure, far from it but there were things I wished I had done. I'm not talking about the exciting and adventurous things, I talking about the practical. Perhaps, just perhaps I should have  "applied myself " as so many of my teachers in school recommended. If only I had " buckled down. " Still, I have few complaints and it has been fun so far.
 These " if only" moments I am thinking about are not about the acquisition of material things. No they are the things I wish now I had tried, those instances when I should have " applied " myself but choose instead the easy path. I got what I needed, indeed all I wanted, but perhaps I should have wanted more. Is that what those teachers were trying to tell me ? I should want more, much more. Would that have changed my present circumstance ? Most certainly it would. Would I be happier ?  Well happiness is all relative isn't it ? Without that comparison how can I know ? Too late for that now isn't it ? I'll just enjoy the happiness I have. That is what I have always done. No need to stress out, I always say. That is what applying yourself is all about, stress. The application of pressure can cause something to break ! I'm not chancing it.
 This attitude is a result of my upbringing. I don't think there is anyway you could refute that. Where I was raised it was the prevalent attitude. Laid back they call it nowadays. Practical is the truth of it. No need to be in a hurry, tomorrow is another day. Yes, there are those things that you are obligated to do. Things like provide for your family and help your fellow man as best you can. But you shouldn't take more than you need or have good use for. A man should be judged by his character, not his wallet or what degrees he has on the wall. The house he lives in or the car he drives isn't so important so long as he is a good man, doing the best he can. That is the key however, being independent. A man should stand on his own two feet and no excuses made. It is when you try to meet the expectations of others that you find failure. That has been my experience.
 Every once and a while I find myself in the " if only " state of mind. I do feel a bit of sadness at times and I think that is a normal thing. Speculating on the past. The things that could have been. We tend to think we would have been successful if only we had tried. If only is always a certainty ! At least in our minds it is. Of course that is why we dream. No one wants to have nightmares so it must be a success. The trick is not to allow yourself to become depressed over the " what if's . "
 Many folks will tell you, it is never too late. There are instances were it is. Now I agree it is never too late to dream. It is never too late to change something about yourself when you decide it is undesirable. You can't change others and you can't change the time. The past is past ! No going back. Do not spend your time with " if only " instead spend you time with " what if. " Consider what you may do now, rather than what you could have done then. It gives you something to look forward too.