Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Monday, August 15, 2016

social expectations

 I guess I have reached that age, I'm a senior. I always knew it would happen but ain't sure I like it. There is nothing to be done about though. Mom is getting on , as the saying goes, and I had to be stern with her yesterday, a strange and unsettling feeling. It marks the beginning of me having to be an adult ! Oh man, I'm not happy about that either. Mostly though it is this disconnect with the young folks that I find troubling. The group I mean is the twenty somethings that think they have all the answers. Apparently they don't know it all or they would know my generation solved it all in the 1970's. Peace, love  and rock and roll. It was groovy. I do wonder what is missing today. I also have a theory, I almost always do. I'm thinking it is the lack of expectation that is the causing the confusion.
 When I was growing up I was made aware of what was expected of me. There were certain standards to be met. If you didn't meet them, you failed ! No medals, no trophies, no participation award, you failed ! You were not expected to win but got rewarded when you did. Oh, I was encouraged and reassured that I could do it, within my limitations, but it was always a surprise when I succeeded. That was why you got an award ! It is a subtle thing isn't it ? That is the way it was with academics and sports. Now, social expectations were a different matter altogether. Please and Thank You were not only expected, they were mandatory. Polite, cordial behavior was the expectation and strictly enforced. That is where the old saying, " it takes a village " came into play. Behaviors counter to what was expected would be met with discipline by any adult, at any time. Worse still, it was reported to your parents. A report to your parents caused them embarrassment. That would not be tolerated. The result may be your removal from all social activities, IE: grounding. If you don't know how to conduct yourself in public You were removed.
 And so my theory is this. By the removal of social expectations, we are destroying society. A society simply cannot exist unless everyone is on the same page. Today I see far too many angry over the past. It is unreasonable to expect society today to take blame for the injustices of the past. No one is denying that the injustice occurred. I see far too many that claim entitlement. That entitlement claim may also be based upon the past, again an unreasonable expectation. The biggest thing I see is this idyllic situation were Everyone is Equal, except for anyone that has been subject to an injustice in the past. In that case they should receive preferential treatment today. They get a pass on social expectations. In fact the more anti-social they behave, the more reward they should receive. To do otherwise is a clear indication of discrimination.
 Without going into a long dissertation of civil rights in America I think it is safe to say great strides have been made. Is any one race barred from participating in the society ? I don't think so. That it was true as late as the 1960's can not be refuted. That injustice was corrected. It is over. You can make laws but you can't legislate people. People will discriminate, for a myriad of reasons, and they always will. Punishment is mandated when that law is violated. What more can be done ? Social expectations should be taught ! That is what I am saying here, We need to instruct our children in social expectation within the American society. In other words, how to behave themselves. That action begins in the home. I'm just saying I was taught what was expected of me within society. I was held to those expectations and held accountable when I violated them. There was no excuse except for one, you had to be right ! If you were correct in your action you would be rewarded. You did however have to act within the constraints of society. Acting contrary to that was not encouraged and in some cases plain illegal. Nowadays the news calls that social unrest, and that doesn't sound so bad. It is an attempt to mollify those acting out. That wasn't the action I received when I created " social unrest. " Well, guess I am a senior after all and have reached adulthood. Took me a few years to learn that but I was taught. It needs to be taught again is my opinion. Yes unrest effected changes in the laws and that was a good thing. There is a subtle difference between then and now. Back then it was all about what wanting to be equal and having the same opportunity as everyone else in the society we call America. What is it all about today ? What folks feel is " owed " to them is my answer. The opportunity is there should anyone wish to take advantage of that opportunity. There are many programs in place to assist. The system has been changed, equality under the law has been achieved. All that remains is for those folks to act within the constraints of society. Takes time and effort. Some will be disappointed and some will fail. Neither is an excuse for not meeting the social expectations of our nation. Be an American. Meet those expectations and you will have succeeded in life. At least that is what I was taught. There will always be people with more money, more popularity and more talent. Get over it and move on.