Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Monday, August 29, 2016

finding out

 I'll begin with a follow-up of yesterdays blog. After spending a few hours searching I didn't turn up much about Marion. I found one article in the East Hampton Star dated Dec, 6, 1918 that mentions her. The article reads as follows; Jessie Bennett and Harriett Miller, both witnesses in a rape case against Mitchel Carpenter, were released and the charges dismissed. Marion Bennett admitted guilt  and was remanded to the care of the Children's society. A little investigation revealed the Children's' society was an institution across the street from the Alms house. I could find nothing further about Marion. Later on , talking to my Mother, she said her father had told her about Marion. As she remembers it, her father pointed her out to her one day. He said, that lady is Marion Bennett and was wild as a child. She was placed in the children's home. They made it so she could never have children. I looked that up and it was a practice back in that time period to perform sterilization on welfare folks, the mentally handicapped or those deemed unfit. So, I can't prove it but is possible. Hard to imagine that isn't it ? One article says young girls were often sterilized after giving birth, without their knowledge or consent. Perhaps that is what happened to Marion. I will probably discover some more given time. And so, for now anyway, I'm still going on gossip !
 I find I am intrigued by the things I don't know. I suppose that is a normal and natural thing, to be curious. Inquiring minds want to know and all that. The older I get however, the more I find myself amused by the things I do know. I think about things that have happened, their cause and effect  I often discover the reason for the action taken was not what I thought it was, at the time it was taken. It does take maturity to be honest, even with yourself. We have a tendency to find excuses or utilize somewhat fuzzy logic to justify ourselves. There is a fine line between gossip and the truth. Sometimes they are the same thing ! There is a old adage my mother uses a lot, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I agree that is sound advice, but a little boring. A lot of information is lost that way. The question is, does all information have value ? Well, only to those that seek it, is my answer. Yes, it should be shared as well. Like most everything else though, it has its' time and place. Yesterday may have been the time for me to find out about Marion. Is there a reason I need to know that ? I can't say with certainty either way.
 When should knowledge be released ? In a timely fashion is the correct response. To whom should this information be given ? To those that require it. Is it as simple as that ? It would certainly be a calmer world if that were true. We call that, minding our own business don't we ? That is something most folks find difficult to do. We are moved to action by our emotions. There are times when we feel an absolute compulsion to speak out, or take some form of action regardless of our good judgement telling us otherwise. We sometimes label that concern, or even love. It is really an act of empathy ? Empathy involves emotion and understanding. Does empathy require an action ? No, it does not. The compulsion to act is triggered by self doubt. It is often a means to make ourselves feel better, or superior to the one injured. Strangely we often use the tact of, it has happened to me as the basis for our advice. That may be useful in telling another how to avoid the injury, but does nothing for healing.
 I have wandered off on a tangent and hope I didn't lose you. I was talking about finding the truth of things. The most interesting of all is finding the truth about yourself. I wonder if that is even possible, there is an inherent bias. I don't believe anyone can deny that. I know why I did what I did. What I don't know is your motivations. Isn't that what causes most of the problems we encounter in our lives ? It is a lack of knowledge. Interestingly, as I age I find I don't always know why I did what I did when I did it ! The reasons are excuses. Excuses are not answers. I'm beginning to think that aging requires accepting the answers ! What I mean by that is, those " excuses " are the answers. That's honesty. Yes, I really did do whatever because ? No more excuses. A thought that is easy to understand but difficult to execute. Keeping our motivation pure is the struggle. That is the basis for peace in our lives. Examine your motivation before acting is my advice. Listen carefully to the reason. Is it an excuse or an answer ?