Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Friday, May 27, 2016

Taking it back

 Have you ever done something, after having considered it carefully, and then regret that you did it ? What I mean is , I had a scrapbook that belonged to my Dad. He had kept that book during the war. WW2. It was filled mostly with pictures of airplanes and the nose art upon those planes. You see he was in the Army Air Force and flew combat missions over Burma and China in B-24 Liberators. There were some family type photos in there as well but for the most part the scrapbook looked like it hadn't been touched much after1950 or so. The pages were coming loose and the photographs weren't attached to the pages very well anymore. I began to wonder what to do with it. At first I tried contacting a group of WW2 veterans that have a museum of sorts about the nose art that was on those era planes. I thought perhaps they would be interested in these photos and preserve them. I had no success with that. So then I thought my brother in law is retired from the Air Force I'll give them all to him. I just couldn't imagine what would have happen to them if I did nothing. I'm retired Navy and I don't think either of my boys would have an interest in them. Well, it's complicated but I took that scrapbook apart and sent the pictures to my brother in law. I kept the family photos for myself. Now I'm regretting that I did that. Now I wish I had left that scrapbook intact. But there is no taking it back, what's done is done.
 I see on Facebook that scrapbooking is a big hobby these days. Perhaps that is what made me think about this choice I made. Not that my father spent any great deal of time or effort on this book, it was just pictures fastened to black pages. The book was purchased at the airfield were he was stationed and is embossed with that logo. That is the only decoration on it. Still that scrapbook must have meant a lot to him, for him to have kept it intact all those years. I rarely saw it as a child and have no idea were he stored it. I understand though how something can have great meaning to you and not be displayed. Just because I don't admire it everyday doesn't mean I don't want it. Now I feel a tinge of guilt for having dismantled it. No matter the good intentions I had when doing so, I'm thinking I should have left it alone. Well we all have our little regrets don't we ? I have other things that belonged to him that I cherish and display. I do believe those pictures are in good hands and will be cared for. I still have the album that they were in so that's something I suppose.
 So my question to you is this, have you ever done something with the best of intentions and then regretted it ? The regret comes not from the action itself, but from the effect it has on you. It very well may be that giving those pictures to my brother in law will assure their survival, a very good thing. The fact remains that I took that scrapbook apart and I feel guilt for having done so, the effect upon me. You could call it a sacrifice but that is just sugar coating the truth. I didn't consider that when I took that book apart, I was thinking of the pictures. I wasn't thinking what a great and noble sacrifice I was making. Now I wouldn't do it. There is no " taking it back. " That is the basis of this regret, not having done the deed, but being unable to change to outcome of that action. I relinquished control. That scrapbook was disassembled, my fathers work undone. What was I thinking ?