Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Friday, May 6, 2016

more than stories

 Memories are best when shared. That is something I have come to realize over the years. When the old folks wish to tell their tales of youth and days gone by, they are reliving those days. It is important to them and we should be paying attention. I've learned that as I become the " old " folks. My memories go unchallenged for the most part. You see my wife and children did not grow up in the same town as I. In fact they grew up in a different state altogether. So, my wife doesn't know any of the folks I talk about, just the tales she has heard. Of course, the same is true for her. I have met some of her family and she has a sister that is close but I really don't know anything of her childhood either. We have our own storehouse of memories to share with each other and that is enough. In some ways you could say it is better that way. Neither of us can interfere with a memory the other has. I have found my sister and brothers have different recollections of shared events. It can be unsettling to have your memory challenged.
 Yes there are times when I miss the old homestead. There are times when I wish I could share those memories with someone that was actually there. It is interesting to get that change in perspective when done in a cordial way. Luckily we have a device called a telephone that keeps me in touch. In the last six years or so I have been using this thing called Facebook. I am grateful for that as it does reconnect me somewhat with the people of my youth. Oh, there are clashes every now and again and differences of opinion but so too in real life. We all belonged to our own little groups growing up and that hasn't changed much. Birds of a feather and all that. Time and circumstance may have altered the dynamics but hopefully maturity has an influence as well. Have we really all grown up ? Some have and some have not.
 There are different types of memories as well. There are common memories of places or events. Most of the folks that were there during a certain time will recall those things. Often the memory is a little different from one to another. Many factors figure into that. Your age and social position are important factors in that memory. Shared memories are subject to a shared perception. Not always the same. It is the personal memories that remain unchanged over the years. That is simply because they directly affected you in some fashion. The only ones that can challenge that are the one that were personally there. Whether it is just one or a group that is true.
 I have a tendency to defend my memories. Do you ? Do you feel the need to preserve your memory, intact, just the way you perceived it ? That is to say, will new or different facts change your mind ? I have had the light shone on some things that caused me to do just that. I find it unsettling. When that happens it causes me to reconsider whatever actions followed. The cause and effect may or may not be what I thought. Our memories form the foundation for our beliefs. That is because memory is formed by perception. When our beliefs are tested it is uncomfortable.
 Memories are more than stories. They are the explanation. The how and why of a life lived. I think that is why they are so important to share. They can serve to reaffirm your beliefs, providing justification for your choices. Memories are best when shared for that very reason. Words captured in our mind don't always speak the truth. They must he heard to be understood. And I think you should provide an explanation. There are those that will say you do not owe that. I can understand their point. I don't agree with it however. In my opinion, only the extremely arrogant or close minded individual would feel that way. I know that I have been wrong about things in the past. The least I can do is offer to explain my motivations. That isn't to say I will apologize for them, just offer the explanation.