Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Independant interests

 Do you find it difficult to maintain interest in things that do not interest others ? What I mean is, do you require some feedback about this interest. Contrary to what I think, I apparently do. I do not lose interest exactly, but put it aside when I do not receive any support. Or, more properly, encouragement. You can also call it reassurance. Does that stem from insecurity ? That would be the easy diagnosis. I find myself returning to those interests time and again but then becoming discouraged. A lack of perseverance ? That's another view of the situation. The flip side to that is just moving on. It is true I have yet to discover an activity I would consider myself expert at. I am the proverbial " jack of all trades " and master at none. A regular renaissance man so to speak. Well, except I can't draw or paint, or do sculpture. But I can do a little of most every trade. Something I inherited from my Dad. Like him, I learned enough stuff to get by just fine. I admit he was far more proficient at far more trades than I will ever be. I'll blame that on spending twenty years in the Navy.
 I guess what I am asking here is, is doing something just for yourself enough ? Is it enough to just satisfy your own interest in something ? Can a finished work, and finished is key to the question, be enough without receiving outside verification. Say, I write a poem. I'm happy with it but it does not receive any acclaim from anyone else, is it still good ? Apply that to anything you choose. I wonder if that is what an artist sees in their works, are they so certain of its' value that they do not require reassurance ? If I were the only one to appreciate my " art " is it worth doing ? That is the central question here. How many artists or authors were not appreciated in their time only to become known as the masters ? Did they just posses supreme confidence in their work ? Or was it that they just didn't care whether you liked it or not ?  Does it stem from a desire to contribute to mankind or is it a desire to just satisfy yourself, even when that desire has no effect on anyone else ? I think perhaps it has something to do with purpose. You must believe that whatever it is you are doing serves a purpose. Is it sufficient that that purpose is just to please you ? Would that not be feeding your ego ? How hungry is your ego ? By this questioning of my motives I am forced to face this question, is my ego insatiable ? Is that why I can't seem to stay focused on any one thing ? Or is it insecurity ? Hmm. I'll have to think bout that.