I'm thinking I may have reached a certain age. The age of being comfortable with myself and others. It is a good place to be. It is a liberating feeling really. It is a difficult thing to explain. I can speak with my contemporaries with out the need for brag or bravado, the younger men sometimes call me sir, and the girls don't see me as a threat. I'm just a harmless old man. The only other option for me at this point would be, dirty old man, and that is a title I strive to avoid. I can now just be a friend to mankind.
I think we all start out our lives just wanting to be friends with one another. Watch little children play and that is obvious. Babies will reach out and hold each others hands and will hug one another. The desire for companionship is born into us. As we get older things get a little more complex. The alpha males and beta males butting heads, same with the ladies. Personalities develop. A drifting apart from the acceptance of youth occurs. And then when we discover the opposite sex, oh my, things really go crazy.
For us guys the first real awareness of this shift begins with the girl saying, " can we still be friends? " Arrg, those words are like daggers in the heart. The only answer you can give is one that you really don't feel. A paradox of emotion. If I say yes, does it mean I didn't care in the first place and if I say no, I'm just a jerk ! Oh, the angst of youth.
I think for the majority of the population a feeling of competitiveness between same sexes and a feeling of uneasiness between the opposite sexes exist until we reach that " certain " age. This age does differ for all of us. Some learn how to be comfortable earlier on than others. There are those that never learn, or should I say accept, that eventuality. I have accepted that I have reached that age. It does nothing to reduce my own self image or self worth. That is the comfort part of the equation. The other part of the equation is learning how to behave in a socially acceptable fashion. In an ironic twist I have found that those behaviors are simply the ones I was taught as a child. It isn't a big mystery after all.
I am aware that there are those that don't " like " me. I am aware that I have detractors. That is just part of life and nothing to be overly concerned with, unless, mobs start forming then I may want to reconsider my opinions. I am aware that physically I am not twenty anymore. Leave the exercise of youth to the young. I'm not saying quit, I am saying adjust a bit. I do have a few miles on me now and breakdowns occur a bit more frequently. I have discovered that mental exercise is more satisfying in this " certain " age. I have done plenty, now is the time to think about it all. I have earned the right to relax just a bit. I have learned to be " just friends " and be comfortable with that. I know now that there are levels of friendship. Not all friendships are a step below love. Friendships can be a step up or a step down. Friendship can also be a return. Strange how your actions are sometimes misconstrued, especially being friendly. Seems like you have to be of a certain age before that becomes believable to the general public. In another ironic twist I have discovered that the " just being friendly " part must first be believed by yourself before others will buy it. Sincerity of emotion is the key to social interaction. Sounds pretty profound doesn't it ? It can also be said simply, be true,be you, goodnight Gerber face. I don't recall who said that last line but it isn't mine. I do think it speaks volumes.
I think we all start out our lives just wanting to be friends with one another. Watch little children play and that is obvious. Babies will reach out and hold each others hands and will hug one another. The desire for companionship is born into us. As we get older things get a little more complex. The alpha males and beta males butting heads, same with the ladies. Personalities develop. A drifting apart from the acceptance of youth occurs. And then when we discover the opposite sex, oh my, things really go crazy.
For us guys the first real awareness of this shift begins with the girl saying, " can we still be friends? " Arrg, those words are like daggers in the heart. The only answer you can give is one that you really don't feel. A paradox of emotion. If I say yes, does it mean I didn't care in the first place and if I say no, I'm just a jerk ! Oh, the angst of youth.
I think for the majority of the population a feeling of competitiveness between same sexes and a feeling of uneasiness between the opposite sexes exist until we reach that " certain " age. This age does differ for all of us. Some learn how to be comfortable earlier on than others. There are those that never learn, or should I say accept, that eventuality. I have accepted that I have reached that age. It does nothing to reduce my own self image or self worth. That is the comfort part of the equation. The other part of the equation is learning how to behave in a socially acceptable fashion. In an ironic twist I have found that those behaviors are simply the ones I was taught as a child. It isn't a big mystery after all.
I am aware that there are those that don't " like " me. I am aware that I have detractors. That is just part of life and nothing to be overly concerned with, unless, mobs start forming then I may want to reconsider my opinions. I am aware that physically I am not twenty anymore. Leave the exercise of youth to the young. I'm not saying quit, I am saying adjust a bit. I do have a few miles on me now and breakdowns occur a bit more frequently. I have discovered that mental exercise is more satisfying in this " certain " age. I have done plenty, now is the time to think about it all. I have earned the right to relax just a bit. I have learned to be " just friends " and be comfortable with that. I know now that there are levels of friendship. Not all friendships are a step below love. Friendships can be a step up or a step down. Friendship can also be a return. Strange how your actions are sometimes misconstrued, especially being friendly. Seems like you have to be of a certain age before that becomes believable to the general public. In another ironic twist I have discovered that the " just being friendly " part must first be believed by yourself before others will buy it. Sincerity of emotion is the key to social interaction. Sounds pretty profound doesn't it ? It can also be said simply, be true,be you, goodnight Gerber face. I don't recall who said that last line but it isn't mine. I do think it speaks volumes.
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