Something I hear quite often are people complaining about being disrespected. I think the key is that those that feel that way also suffer from a lack of self respect. If I respect myself, my values and views enough, what others may say is of little consequence to me. Hateful words and attacking my character certainly offends me but will result in me withdrawing from you, rather than confronting you. When I was a young man I thought I had to defend my honor. Defending honor is indeed a young mans game. You must poses that self righteous attitude to embark upon those quests. And those quests, like many others, sometimes end in disappointment. All quests , no matter how noble the intent, do not lead to justification or vindication. Consider the Crusades, actually nine of them in total, noble quests, well intended, but definitely wrong in its' execution. Arrogance and brashness are attributes of the young, mature folks are measured and confident.
It is true that respect has to be earned. The earning of that respect does not guarantee reciprocity That has to be given. There are those that feel by giving that gift they are somehow reducing their own. The result is a lowering of the respect they have for themselves rather than an increase in respect for others.
Diplomacy is a form of respect. The ability to extract the desired response from others comes from within. If you can show the other person, group, or country for that matter, that your intentions are pure in spirit, you will most likely be successful. This can only be accomplished by those that believe in their own purity of spirit. It does not come with demands. An acknowledgement of your righteousness is not a requirement.
The phrase, I'm being disrespected, or a facsimile there of, has become one of those catch phrases. I dislike it as it really says nothing at all. What is the nature of the offense ? Did another person disagree with you ? Is that being disrespected ? Did I not address you correctly ? Just what was the nature of the disrespect ? It just seems like a rather subjective thing to say. I often hear it coming from those that display the least amount of respect towards others. I can only credit that to a lack of understanding on their part. That and a lack of self respect.
I think all this perceived disrespecting stems from childhood. When parents allow their child to disrespect them these same children grow up feeling disrespected. They have not learned the distinction between behavior that is merely rebellious, and that which is contemptuous. Young folks will naturally rebel as that is the nature of youth. It is the job of the parent to teach them how to express themselves without being impetuous or arrogant. One can learn to speak their minds without offending others. To put it simply, learn social skills like being polite. Learning how to listen to others is also a useful tool. Those that are the highly respected are not those that yell the loudest,reference the most facts or insist that everything be as they say. The most respected are those that speak their truths calmly and with compassion. That does not mean that they do not have passion however, just that they have learned to communicate.
Respect is a mutual exchange that must begin with yourself. Only then can you exchange respect with others.
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It is true that respect has to be earned. The earning of that respect does not guarantee reciprocity That has to be given. There are those that feel by giving that gift they are somehow reducing their own. The result is a lowering of the respect they have for themselves rather than an increase in respect for others.
Diplomacy is a form of respect. The ability to extract the desired response from others comes from within. If you can show the other person, group, or country for that matter, that your intentions are pure in spirit, you will most likely be successful. This can only be accomplished by those that believe in their own purity of spirit. It does not come with demands. An acknowledgement of your righteousness is not a requirement.
The phrase, I'm being disrespected, or a facsimile there of, has become one of those catch phrases. I dislike it as it really says nothing at all. What is the nature of the offense ? Did another person disagree with you ? Is that being disrespected ? Did I not address you correctly ? Just what was the nature of the disrespect ? It just seems like a rather subjective thing to say. I often hear it coming from those that display the least amount of respect towards others. I can only credit that to a lack of understanding on their part. That and a lack of self respect.
I think all this perceived disrespecting stems from childhood. When parents allow their child to disrespect them these same children grow up feeling disrespected. They have not learned the distinction between behavior that is merely rebellious, and that which is contemptuous. Young folks will naturally rebel as that is the nature of youth. It is the job of the parent to teach them how to express themselves without being impetuous or arrogant. One can learn to speak their minds without offending others. To put it simply, learn social skills like being polite. Learning how to listen to others is also a useful tool. Those that are the highly respected are not those that yell the loudest,reference the most facts or insist that everything be as they say. The most respected are those that speak their truths calmly and with compassion. That does not mean that they do not have passion however, just that they have learned to communicate.
Respect is a mutual exchange that must begin with yourself. Only then can you exchange respect with others.
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