Forgive and forget. How any times have you heard that said ? The truth of the matter is you must first forget to forgive. As long as the wrong exists in your mind, forgiveness is impossible. True forgiveness is the provenience of God. Can we,as mortals truly forget ? We should certainly aspire to that goal but I feel most of us will fall short of the mark. Well, all of us will fall short. That being said another truth about forgiveness is that it is something we do for ourselves. We do not forgive the other person for their benefit, the benefactors are ourselves. If we truly value the other person as a friend,mentor,or partner we say we forgive them. The fact is we want them and are willing to overlook whatever transgression they committed against us. Forgiveness is not a reciprocal endeavor. Forgiveness is a gift, to yourself, for your own benefit.
What we extend to the other person is no more than conditional amnesty. Further offenses will result in the withdrawal of this amnesty. That is because we never truly forget the offenses of the past. The number and severity of these offenses determine at what point this conditional amnesty will be withheld entirely. When the nature of the offense is greater than the value I place upon you, that is the end.
These thoughts of mine may seem contradictory to the teaching of the Bible. Indeed the case could be made for that easily enough. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I'm not talking about casting stones however, I am talking about the withholding of forgiveness. I am depriving myself of your company. The Bible does teach us we should love each other as we love ourselves. The Bible says ,turn the other cheek. I can offer no valid argument to the contrary for any of those precepts. The only explanation offered is, I am human. Remember I said, true forgiveness is the provenience of the Lord.
I am not saying if I do not forgive, I hate that person. I am not saying I wish that person any ill will of any kind. What I am saying is, I would rather exclude you, rather than include you, in my life. It is a choice on my part. There are instances where separation is the only thread that will bind the wound. As long as that wound exists in our mind, we tend to pick at it.
Some say forgiveness comes with understanding. The understanding of your motivations however does little to ease my pain. The injury to myself is not diminished by that knowledge. Others say I must forgive and I say why ? If I can continue to live my life without injury why should I not do so ? Forgiveness is for my own benefit. And so, for me, it comes down to a matter of risk and reward. Am I willing to risk further injury in exchange for whatever reward your company may provide ? If the answer is no, I will not forgive. I must first forget the injury, only then can forgiveness begin.
What we extend to the other person is no more than conditional amnesty. Further offenses will result in the withdrawal of this amnesty. That is because we never truly forget the offenses of the past. The number and severity of these offenses determine at what point this conditional amnesty will be withheld entirely. When the nature of the offense is greater than the value I place upon you, that is the end.
These thoughts of mine may seem contradictory to the teaching of the Bible. Indeed the case could be made for that easily enough. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I'm not talking about casting stones however, I am talking about the withholding of forgiveness. I am depriving myself of your company. The Bible does teach us we should love each other as we love ourselves. The Bible says ,turn the other cheek. I can offer no valid argument to the contrary for any of those precepts. The only explanation offered is, I am human. Remember I said, true forgiveness is the provenience of the Lord.
I am not saying if I do not forgive, I hate that person. I am not saying I wish that person any ill will of any kind. What I am saying is, I would rather exclude you, rather than include you, in my life. It is a choice on my part. There are instances where separation is the only thread that will bind the wound. As long as that wound exists in our mind, we tend to pick at it.
Some say forgiveness comes with understanding. The understanding of your motivations however does little to ease my pain. The injury to myself is not diminished by that knowledge. Others say I must forgive and I say why ? If I can continue to live my life without injury why should I not do so ? Forgiveness is for my own benefit. And so, for me, it comes down to a matter of risk and reward. Am I willing to risk further injury in exchange for whatever reward your company may provide ? If the answer is no, I will not forgive. I must first forget the injury, only then can forgiveness begin.
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