It's an amazing thing, the other side of town. That's a thought I had this morning while thinking about what to write. Most days I do have to give that some thought before the fingers hit the keys. I really don't wake up with all these thoughts in my head. I do find my thoughts are clearest in the morning though, before the world has had a chance to annoy me. Get out there and mingle with the general population and you will get annoyed, saddened and disillusioned. And all of that is before you even speak to anyone. Got to say there are some real freaks walking around out there. But that's being judgmental right? Well I know for a fact the circus isn't in town so I have no other way to explain that.
Anyway, I was thinking about the other side of town as a metaphor for knowing how those not in your social circle live. We all live in a rather small circle and feel uncomfortable outside of that. It isn't something we give a lot of thought too, it's just the natural course of things. The reason is a simple one, the familiar is what makes us comfortable. The unfamiliar may entertain us, but usually comes with a little fear as well. Maybe fear isn't the correct word, perhaps uncertainty is a better choice. When we are uncertain we do hesitate, become reserved, and sometimes unreceptive. It a normal human reaction, a survival instinct really. It's the reason greetings are the way they are, most beginning with a show of open hands. See no weapons. I don't know you and so I won't place my trust in you. Just natural.
It's also true that we tend to be protective when others enter our space, our little circle. We will defend ourselves, our friends, and our society. and make no mistake about that each of us live within a micro-society, although I dislike such terms, it just sounds haughty-tooty. But it is true, just read some Facebook posts and the comments that follow if you have any doubt about that. It works that way in the real world as well, just with a different set of parameters. No way can you be as aggressive in the real world. Well, alright you can, but you're asking for it. As a result we often do not get to know how others perceive the world, we are too busy defending ours. Again, a natural thing.
In years past when I was growing up in my little hometown we did have neighborhoods. You didn't go to other neighborhoods very often. It wasn't a cultural thing, it was just a matter of practicality. I played with the kids in my neighborhood. The kids in my neighborhood all belonged to the same social group and mostly of the same race. Wasn't anything based in racism, it was based in life and circumstance. And back in those days people, for the most part, were happy with that situation. That was of course in the North, in a rural community, were segregation and all that wasn't prevalent. Fact is, any of that was rarely spoken about, everyone just went about their lives. I don't want to say I had black friends or Hispanic friends that just sounds so phony. No, I had friends and some didn't look like me. Yup, they were different. We sometimes laughed about that, a nervous laugh perhaps, but it was an a acknowledgement. It was a start. You could say a lowering of the defense. Once you get past being nervous, you become comfortable.
Still none of those friends lived in my neighborhood, they lived on the other side of town. I don't mean that literally. Some lived just a few blocks away, although I didn't know what a block was as a kid, our town didn't have blocks it wasn't New York City. We didn't have ghettoes, we did have neighborhoods although not well defined ones. There was "upstreet" and below the bridge for the most part. Town folks and those that didn't live in town. And we had hamlets, small clusters of folks engaged in a common occupation for the most part. I wasn't aware they were hamlets, they were just different places in town. Other sides of town and the people that lived there were different somehow, true even when those people were related to you! Almost like those cliques in high school, each a little different. They lived in a different neighborhood.
Today we find ourselves engaged in making everything equitable. There is a great deal of talk about being equal. The problem, as I see it is, you can't make circumstances equal. Each of us are born into a set of circumstances that we have absolutely no control over. Our economic position, our social position, our gender, our race, and a host of other circumstances. Our job is to learn to live within those circumstances and take action to change whatever circumstance we are uncomfortable with. No one can do that for you! It is the choices you make that will determine the outcome. Yes, yes there will be obstacles. Not everyone is going to join you, agree with you, support you, or even simply leave you alone. No, for the most part others will attempt to recruit you in reaching their goals. They want you to move to their neighborhood not move into yours.
I'm just saying you can't control where you begin. The only thing you can change is the outcome. Even then you have to accept the circumstances of your choices. With each choice there is accountability. Same as Newtons' third law says, for every action there is a reaction. That reaction is the circumstance of your decision. The reaction isn't always what we expect it to be. Others get to decide circumstance! Yes, it's a frustration alright, but a fact of life, others will determine your circumstance. That begins at birth and continues your entire life. You can't change that no matter how much you rebel against it. What is your circumstance? How did you arrive where you are at this moment? Can you change that? No, you can't change the past, only decide to make different choices in the future. In doing so you will find yourself in a new set of circumstances. Thing is, you don't get to decide what they are. that will depend upon the reaction of others. That's how it works.
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