Monday, May 6, 2019

An epiphany

  All things in moderation. It is an axiom I haven't always lived by, having done some things to excess. Yes, you can have too much fun! But I have been fortunate that no long term ill effects plaque me. Well, perhaps there has been some health issues that were exacerbated by a few habits. I was equally as fortunate to be able to quit those habits as easily as I started them. I have remained in control. That isn't saying that being in control means your decision making was good, just that you made the choices aware, and of your own free will. I discovered that moderation in some instances means, not at all.
 I've been enjoying the media known as Facebook for eight years or so. There are times when I enjoy it too much. I believe that happens to a number of its' users. You hear about that all the time and the warnings are out there to limit our childrens' exposure to social media. Get them to disconnect, go outside and enjoy personal interaction with real people. It's quite the controversial approach to parenting these days but I believe a necessity. My morning Hellos' and daily blog posting has become a habit. I do feel like I'm missing something when I fail to do that for any reason. Like a junkie, I have discovered other means besides my trusty desktop computer. At first it was a laptop, then a netbook, and now I found I can even use this android phone of mine. The final step is an I-phone but the cravings haven't become that strong quite yet, to justify the expense. Ah, but habits don't care about expense do they, no they just make demands.
 All things in moderation. I am discovering that includes telling the truth. I have stirred up a few discussions, hurt some feelings, and even had some walk away, because I told the truth. I'm always amazed when people refuse to accept the truth. Yes I understand there are circumstances were opinion can be confused for truth and vice versa. But I'm thinking about those instances were irrefutable evidence confirms the truth. It would seem that I should not tell the truth, just remain silent. Now that is a difficult thing for me to do.Yes, it is my nature to speak up, offer my opinion, and tell the truth when I know it. It isn't always popular though. Ah, I'm rather used to it as it has always been that way. I admit there are times when I question how wise that is. I do tend to defend the truth rather vehemently at times, my emotions causing excess. I should exercise restraint more often.
 It is easy to say when something is no longer entertaining, stop doing that. That is where habit takes over. How strong is that habit? Will the habit control you? It will if you allow it. You hear much about that these days. The general consensus is, you need help! I don't believe that unless there is a legitimate physical addiction. I believe we can use the power of our own minds to overcome habits! Not all habits are addictions! That's my feeling anyway, although those wishing to sell you services will definitely disagree with that. All the counseling in the word, by the most brilliant minds, will not help you if you are unwilling to listen. That's why we have a failure of treatment, a relapse as the pro's like to call it. It isn't a failure on their part, it is a failure on yours! For that reason I say, if you control the outcome, why do you need them in the first place? That isn't to say that support groups don't serve a vital function, they certainly do, just that you are ultimately responsible for the results.
 So this morning I'm wondering if this habit of mine is getting out of control. There are times when I'm not enjoying it as much as I should. That begs the question, how much should I enjoy it? Well how much should you enjoy the company you keep? What I mean is, are our friends only those that agree with what we say? The answer has to be yes, the only quantity to be determined is how much and how often. I don't want to be around people that constantly disagree with me and I'm certain others feel the same way. So using that logic I should only share myself with others in moderation. Too much Ben may not be a good thing after all, although to be honest about it I find myself informative and an absolute delight. That is an opinion however and may be influenced by bias. The truth is, I have inside information.
 I enter into conversations and discussions, not always by invitation, but to add something to that conversation or discussion. I don't expect I always will be well received. Many don't like facts, they interfere with the story. With strangers I do tend to present facts as a starting point. With those folks that I am more familiar with I may offer an opinion immediately. That gets me into trouble on occasion. But the thing is, should we only present facts and opinions that we are confident everyone will agree with? If so, what is the point? How does that add to the conversation? I don't seem to enjoy that as much as a conversation with some differing views or opinions. Now I can't know if any of my opinions or views, or indeed the presentation of facts, have ever changed the way another person thinks or feels. But does that mean I shouldn't offer those things? I mean should we only offer our insights, opinions, views, or facts when we see the results? Is that validation necessary the enjoyment of the discussion? Yes, I guess it does, to a degree, same as taking a drink or smoking I suppose. When you no longer enjoy the results, it's time to quit. All things in moderation.
 I wrote this to remind myself. I believe we all need a reminder now and again. The best reminders are like the best advice, they come from strangers. They are unbiased and expect nothing in return. Perhaps I have been expecting too much. Expecting others to have an Epiphany based on what I say is a bit much. All things in moderation. To be brief, sometimes I just need to chill.   

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